This course is sponsored by and heaviliy discounted thanks to
The Book, "Year To Success" by Bo Bennett, PhD.
Self-paced, Online, Lessons
Videos and/or Narrated Presentations
Approximate Hours of Course Media
This course uses Bo's "formula" for success: education + inspiration + action = success. Education: the lessons are full of educational information. Inspiration: every fifth lesson is a "success biography" on someone well-known who is an inspiration to others. These success biographies are full of inspiration to help keep your flame for success burning on high. Action: each of the lessons has one or more assignments associated with it. Taking action and getting results are what this course is all about.
Make Small, Daily Improvements In Your Life For the Most Amazing Year of Your Life!
A Significant Improvement In Your Life Comprises Many Small Improvements
Have you been promised success if you follow a few quick and dirty "rules" or "secrets" of success? Are you tired of irrelevant analogies that do nothing for you but make you feel inadequate? Have you had enough of highly metaphysical concepts and not enough practical solutions? Have you had your fill of grossly exaggerated claims that try to trick you into thinking success is easy? Are you all "affirmationed" out? You are not alone.
Think of success as a game of chance in which you have control over the odds. As you begin to master concepts in personal achievement, you are increasing your odds of achieving success. 366 Days To Greater Personal, Professional, and Financial Success is a full year course based on the book Year To Success, designed to be a practical guide to achieving your definition of success. Each day/lesson of this course will, through practical application, increase your odds of achieving success. It has been said that one line of wisdom can change your life more than volumes of books. Imagine what hundreds of pages of wisdom can do.
By the end of this year long course, your life won't just be different; it will be better in so many ways.
* Thanks in part to the sponsorship of The Book, "Year To Success" by Bo Bennett, PhD, this course is made available to you for free. Sponsors have a subtle mention under the course title and links in the course resources - there are no intrusive image-based ads or audio ads in the course.
I can’t believe it has been ten years since I published the first edition of Year To Success. Much has changed in my life. I am ten years older and wiser, and I can honestly say that my sense of well-being is even greater today than when I wrote Year To Success. Despite how much I might have changed, the central thesis of this book remains rock solid—success is best achieved by working on many aspects of personal development. I would be lying if I said that I still agree with everything I wrote in the first edition, and this, I feel requires some explanation.
Within the last ten years, I have had the luxury of focusing on interests outside of business. I spent years independently studying philosophy and religion, then I went back to school and earned a Master’s degree in general psychology, and then a PhD in social psychology. I questioned my beliefs held since childhood and began to understand life from a new perspective—a humanistic perspective grounded in science and reason. Now, as a social scientist, I understand far more about the human mind and the importance of evidence. As a humanist, I understand the need and desire for that which cannot be measured scientifically. In this edition, I have rewritten some of the sections to be consistent with scientific findings, or have made it clearer when I am making statements from personal experience.
My focus these days is more on promoting well-being than success. Well-being is a measurable construct that is less nebulous than success and more comprehensive. In day one, I expand on this idea of well-being with the hopes that readers will incorporate it into their definition of success.
I hope you, the reader, will see these changes as an “upgrade” and not the reflection of a character flaw. As learning beings, we must be open to change our beliefs and views based on new information. This edition is not just the result of ten years of new information, but a far deeper understanding of principles, as well.
Bo Bennett, April 2015
The meaning of this book.
Have you been promised success if you follow a few quick and dirty “rules” or “secrets” of success? Are you tired of irrelevant analogies that do nothing for you but make you feel inadequate? Have you had enough of highly metaphysical concepts and not enough practical solutions? Have you had your fill of grossly exaggerated claims that try to trick you into thinking success is easy? Are you all “affirmationed” out? You are not alone.
Think of success as a game of chance in which you have control over the odds. As you begin to master concepts in personal achievement, you are increasing your odds of achieving success. Year To Success is a full year course in success, designed to be a practical guide to achieving your definition of success. Each day of this course will, through practical application, increase your odds of achieving success. It has been said that one line of wisdom can change your life more than volumes of books. Imagine what hundreds of pages of wisdom can do.
Why this book is different.
Year To Success is perhaps the most comprehensive book on success ever written. It uses my “formula” for success: education + inspiration + action = success. Education: each week starts off with two educational lessons and ends with two more educational lessons. Inspiration: the third day of the week is a success biography on someone I believe is one of the most successful people in history. These success biographies are full of inspiration to help keep your flame for success burning on high. Action: each of the educational lessons has one or more action steps associated with it. Taking action is what this book is all about. It is doing the action steps that bring you closer to success.
How to use this book.
This book can be read from cover to cover, or by jumping around from topic to topic, depending on what interests you most on a particular day. However, Year To Success was created as a one-year course in success with a total of 366 days (just to make sure we are covered with leap year). Most people start Day 1 on a Monday, so the two days of “R&R” (review and reflection) fall on the weekend. However, you can start on any day of the year you wish. You may choose to read through the book the first time as you would any other book, skipping the action steps, then beginning the course by reading one lesson a day and completing the action steps. To get the most out of this book, just be sure to do the action steps associated with each educational lesson.
I suggest you get yourself a “success journal” for this course. This can be any notebook or electronic document where you keep all of your written action steps organized and centralized.
Why I wrote this book.
Since age 10, I have been fascinated with success and personal achievement. What makes some people achieve so much and others so little? This question continued to burn inside of me until I decided to commit my full attention to organizing my more than 30 years of research and experience into one complete collection that offered individuals a realistic approach to achieving success.
As a father, I wanted to put what I have learned in writing for my kids, for a time when they are old enough to understand the meaning behind the words. We never know when our time is up on this earth and I may not be around to share this essential information with them.
Why I waited 21 years to write this book.
The last thing I wanted to be was a successful author who became successful by selling books on success. Although I achieved financial success many years ago, it was not until recently that I began to discover how important personal development and personal achievement is in true success. I needed first to put my theories to the test before I shared these ideas with others.
My writing style.
When it comes to the English language, perfection is in the eye of the beholder, and it also depends on what century you’re living in. I don’t use words like “thither” and I don’t mind ending a sentence with a preposition now and then (I paraphrase Sir Winston Churchill when I say that not ending a sentence with a preposition “is a rule up with which I will not put”). Even the God of the Bible ends sentences with prepositions: “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” Genesis 3:10–12.
I have a casual style of writing that is meant to be more like I am speaking directly to you. My goal is to reach as many people as possible, not to impress a select few with my perfect grammar (which I don’t have anyway). My professionalism should be apparent in the content itself. Communication is about being effective, not always about being proper.
Religion / God.
To some people, religion and God are very important aspects of success, and to others, they are not. I leave this to the reader and avoid the issue whenever possible. However, I believe that one’s dependence on an outside force (God, the universe, lady luck, etc.) to bring one success will ultimately lead to failure. It reminds me of the story of the priest that prayed every day to win the lottery, then after 10 years the priest lost faith and starting cursing God saying, "Why God? I have devoted my life to serving you. Why will you not grant me this one wish?” Then, a loud booming voice came from the sky and said, "Priest, meet me half way. Buy a ticket!"
The whole he/she/his/hers issue.
I really wish someone of authority, like Mr. Webster or one of his offspring, would come up with a singular pronoun that was gender independent like “shis” for his or her. Until that time, we writers must play the “do not offend anyone” game and use the sometimes confusing “they,” play switcharoo and change genders, and/or use the “s/he” slash thing that you will never see me do.
I resort to both the “they” solution and the switching of genders just because this is what helps my writing flow. So I apologize in advance for offending the males when I use a feminine pronoun, the females when I use a masculine pronoun, and my fifth grade English teacher when using plural pronouns when a singular is expected.
Why I chose the people I did for the success biographies.
The 52 success biographies in this course were chosen based on a number of factors.
I would be the first to admit, that none of these people are perfect. After all, who is? I am sure anyone can dig up dirt on anyone of these people. My success biographies focus on the positive contributions the person made to the world, not their faults. Get inspiration from how they mastered principles of success, and leave the dirt behind.
Offending material.
With over 250 lessons, I would be surprised if you didn’t get offended by at least something I’ve written! If I attempted to make each lesson neutral and not offend anyone, I would have to leave out all humor, and I would not be able to communicate the true message. Trying to please everyone all the time is a recipe for failure. I apologize if you are offended in any way by one of my ideas, beliefs, or attempts at humor. Please accept my apology and continue to the next day. I certainly do not ask that you accept all of my beliefs, but I ask that you accept my opinion (I hope that didn’t offend you!)
As humans, we are all driven by an inner desire to feel important. That is, we all want to know that our lives make a difference in a positive way. We want to know that in some way, the world is a better place because we are part of it. Success is another way of saying that we are doing just that.
Many people aspire to nothing more than going through a day’s work and catching the game on the sports channel before passing out on the couch, while others spend 18 hour days in the emergency room saving lives, create works of art that touch the lives of millions, or donate hospitals to cities. Those who do not desire success will rarely achieve it. You must be ready for it and pursue it with a passion.
The definition of success is personal to each one of us. However, most people include the following in their definition of success:
Decades of research into what makes people flourish (another word for succeed) has resulted in the development of positive psychologist Martin Seligman’s Well-being theory and its five dimensions: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, achievement, and meaning/purpose (PERMA). When thinking about your definition of success, I encourage you to consider each dimension and how you can incorporate it into your definition of success.
If you are currently only interested in financial gain, and that alone is your definition of success, that is fine. No matter what your definition and ultimate goal, pursue it with passion and determination. However, a word of caution: with the pursuit of money alone, you will find that once you have it, there is still very much missing in your life.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life and more important, day one of a series of 366 days that will have a significantly positive influence on your life. Mark this day as the day you made a commitment to change your life for the better and start embracing life rather than just living it.
It has been said that a person’s name is the most important word in the world to that person. Using a person’s name in conversation is one of the best ways to build rapport. Sounds good, but if you are like most people, the names of people you meet go in one ear and out the other. So step one is remembering the name. First, however, a memory primer.
Memory works by processes called encoding and decoding. We encode information that is stored in our memories, and then we decode the memory—a process more commonly referred to as recall. Each time a memory is recalled, it gets re-encoded, meaning the memory can change (and often does) over time. The analogy that memory is like a video recorder is not a good one. A better analogy is that memory is like a Xerox copying machine where the accuracy of the copy is reduced as more copies are made.
There are dozens of techniques for remembering names; some work for some people and some do not. For this reason, I am listing many of them for you to choose the one that works best for you. You may want to adopt a few techniques rather than just one. For example, use a visual technique for those you meet face to face, and when they tell you the names of their children, use an association technique to associate the person you met with their children’s names. The key again is to use what works best for you.
Here are some steps that should all be followed each time you meet someone:
Memory is linked to your senses and emotions. As you incorporate more emotion and more of your senses into remembering a name, the name will become more difficult to forget.
Now here are some techniques used to remember names:
If you forget the person’s name at any time during the conversation, THIS IS THE TIME TO ASK. Do not be embarrassed to say something like, “Forgive me but I’ve forgotten your name...” or “I am sorry, what was your name again?” Remember that most people forget names. Those who make it a point to humble themselves and ask for a name again are seen as someone who cares about learning the name.
The more you practice these techniques, the more second nature they will become and remembering names will be an automatic process for you. Using names in conversation will take you a long way in building and maintaining rapport, as well as helping others to both remember you and like you. You will soon find that remembering names becomes a game and it is really quite fun, not to mention a great skill that anyone can possess!
Henry Ford (1863–1947) was the founder, vice-president, and chief engineer of the Ford Motor Company.
Success is age independent. Henry Ford constructed his first steam engine at the age of 15.
Success is not formal education. Ford’s formal education was limited to what is rumored to be about three years.
Success is fueled by failure. After two unsuccessful attempts to establish a company to manufacture automobiles, the Ford Motor Company was incorporated in 1903 with Henry Ford as vice-president and chief engineer.
Success is problem-solving. By early 1914, Ford’s innovative assembly line had resulted in a monthly labor turnover of 40 to 60 percent in his factory, largely because of the unpleasant monotony of assembly-line work and repeated increases in the production quotas assigned to workers. Ford met this difficulty by doubling the daily wage to $5 and shaving one hour off the workday.
Success is overcoming competition. In 1905, there were 50 start-up companies a year trying to get into the auto business, and Ford succeeded.
Success is doing what you feel in your gut is right, despite public opinion. The Wall Street Journal called Ford’s daily wage increase plan “an economic crime,” and his critics coined the pejorative term “Fordism,” which reflected their disgust in his practice.
Success is seeking out those who can help you with your goals. In 1903, Ford found twelve people willing to invest a total of $28,000 in another motor company. Ford was then able to begin production of the Model A car. The car sold well, and the company flourished and by 1907 the profits reached $1,100,000. In 1909, Ford made the decision to manufacture only one type of car, the Model T, which changed automotive history forever.
[Sources: http://www.hfmgv.org, http://www.biography.com]
What is your general purpose here on the earth? Does your existence make the world a better place? Consider the statements below and think about where you currently fit in. There is no right or wrong answer.
1) I am here to live the highest quality life I can. This includes working toward constant self-improvement and engaging in leisure activities such as golf and fishing. My time on this earth is limited, and I will do what I can to get the most self-gratification possible.
2) It is my purpose to provide for my family and give my family the highest quality of life possible. My “free” time should be spent with my family, for my family.
3) My purpose on this earth is to do as much good for as many people as possible within my lifetime. I realize that there is a world beyond myself and my family that needs something that I can provide.
Don’t confuse general life purpose with just “life purpose.” General life purpose is a starting point for determining your life purpose that helps you decide who and what is most important in your life right now.
See this as a scale with your typical self-centered individual on one end and someone like Gandhi on the other end. Where do you now see yourself on this scale? Would you like to be somewhere else on the scale? Before you blurt out an answer somewhere near a Gandhi, be realistic and consider the sacrifices and lifestyle of each step in the scale. Consider what is “socially acceptable” and if you are willing to defy social boundaries by living your life differently than most. If you are a family-oriented person and you wish to shift more to #1 or #3, how will your family react? Will they support you? What if they don’t?
This exercise in finding your general life purpose is one of the many very important first steps to success. You must be at peace with yourself and feel no guilt as to what you desire from life. Once you have this confidence, the pursuit of your goals becomes easier and more enjoyable.
One of the few things we have a great sense of control over is our attitude. When faced with adversity, we can choose to focus on the negative in the situation or the positive. A positive mental attitude, or PMA, is something everyone can adopt with a little practice. The benefits of a PMA are beyond comprehension, and according to many achievers, a significant factor in their success.
A positive mental attitude is seeing the benefits, opportunities, and good in situations rather than the setbacks, problems, and bad. More important, it is focusing on this positive and using it to your advantage. Having a PMA is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can’t be done. It is the driving force behind persistence and perseverance.
There is a belief that nothing in this world is “good” or “bad,” but rather everything is balanced, and it is only our perception that makes good and bad. Whether you believe that to be true or not, it is hard to debate that perception and attitude have much to do with how we view the world.
Shortly after adopting a positive mental attitude you will find more opportunities, successes, and “good luck” in your life than ever before. The main reason for this is not some mystical force, but has to do with focus and perception. PMA is a snowball effect that, once begun, builds and grows stronger with each positive event in your life. Conversely, negative thought does the same, which is why it can be very difficult for negative people to change.
The list of benefits of adopting a positive mental attitude goes on, however, one of the most compelling reasons for adopting a PMA is that it is the major part of having an attractive personality. Most people do not like to be around negative people. A positive mental attitude shows in everything you say and do from casual conversation to your performance at work. A PMA will help you in just about anything you do including increasing your income, being promoted at work, getting a new job, and in strengthening your relationships. With these kinds of benefits, why would anyone choose negativity?
Developing a positive mental attitude, like everything else, takes practice to master. Here are some suggestions to help you build your PMA.
With a positive mental attitude on your side, you will find yourself seeing the good in situations that you would have otherwise missed. This will improve your quality of life and the lives of those around you. A PMA will certainly bring you one giant leap closer to success.
Laughter is said to be the best medicine known to man. With that in mind, the development of a good sense of humor and the ability to make people laugh can do more good for those you come into contact with than an entire pharmacy of drugs—unless, of course, the people are really sick.
Besides just making other people happy and feel good, humor can be used to make light of an otherwise awkward situation, and ease both tension and ill feelings while building rapport. In a speaking or writing situation, humor can keep an audience interested in what you have to say, thus helping you become a better communicator. If popularity is one of your goals, then humor is a very effective tool. It is difficult not to like someone who makes you laugh.
People have different senses of humor; this is why not all people find all the same comedians funny. Some people (such as myself) just about lose control of bodily functions when watching movies like The Naked Gun, while others just roll their eyes. Despite these differences, humor is recognized, and the effects of humor remain.
Here are some different kinds of humor that you can use. You may find that you are better at delivering some kinds of humor than others. If you have a natural talent for one kind of humor, work on developing it. You may find a good backup career in the process!
Here are my ten “Rules of Humor.” Follow them, and humor will serve you well. Break them, and you will be the subject of other people’s humor.
Realize that even professional comedians deliver jokes that fail. We often do not see these because their televised jokes are collections of their best jokes that have been proven. If you know how to respond properly to a failed joke, you can end up with a situation more humorous than if the joke had succeeded. Here are some things you can do when people fail to find humor in your joke:
Using humor effectively requires practice and self-confidence. Remember, with every joke that does not go over well, your art of humor will improve.
If the “how to” for achieving success had to be summed up in just one single word, that word would be perseverance. It is the one characteristic shared by virtually all successful people throughout history. Perseverance is the true essence of success.
There are three words in the English language that are often used synonymously, yet have slightly different meanings when referring to success. They are:
Persistence. The act of holding firmly and steadfastly to a purpose, state, goal, or undertaking despite obstacles, warnings, or setbacks.
Determination. The quality of mind which reaches definite conclusions; decision of character; resoluteness.
Perseverance. Persistent determination.
I find it quite ironic how similar persistence and insanity can appear from a spectator’s point of view. Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. When I think of insanity, I picture a guy in a straight-jacket banging his head against the wall, or Jack Nicholson in The Shining banging out on his typewriter, "All work no play makes Jack a dull boy” over and over. Then there is a story about Walter P. Chrysler who, in 1905, bought his first car, which he immediately took apart in order to see how it worked. After putting it back together again, he repeated the process—rumor has it several times. Chrysler’s friends and family thought he had lost his mind. Needless to say, Chrysler’s persistence allowed him to create one of the largest automobile manufacturing companies in the world and realize success beyond his dreams.
Persistence is NOT insanity. Giving up your purpose or goal due to obstacles—that’s insanity! In the case of Chrysler, although assembling the car over and over did produce the same apparent results, there was a learning and thought process going on in Chrysler’s head. As for Jack in The Shining... well, he was just plain insane.
The key to determination is the word “decision.” You must decide what you want before you can get it. Despite the sanity and perfectly legitimate reasoning behind backup plans, I have some admiration for those who even refuse to think of a backup plan because they are so determined that their plan is going to work. Determination takes great self-confidence and decisiveness. You must be willing to completely disregard all alternatives to your decision and set it clear in your mind that you MUST and you WILL.
Perseverance is a great word that is defined by persistent determination. It is such a powerful word that once you experience true perseverance, simply reading, saying or hearing the word will energize you.
Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790) was perhaps the most famous American in history who was best known for being an American statesman and inventor.
Success is not limiting yourself. Franklin became famous for being a scientist, an inventor, a statesman, a printer, a philosopher, a musician, and an economist.
Success is turning frustration into opportunities. Franklin had poor vision and needed glasses to read. He became tired of constantly taking his glasses off and putting them back on again. Franklin used this frustration to create a way to see both near and far without the need for taking off his glasses. He had two pairs of spectacles cut in half and put half of each lens in a single frame. Today, we call them bifocals.
After Franklin’s “retirement,” he spent much time reading books. However, he found he had great difficulty reaching for books high on his shelves. He created a long wooden arm with a claw on the end to assist him with this task and ease his frustration.
Success is doing what you feel is right in your heart despite public opinion. After both physical and mental abuse by one of Ben’s older brothers, Ben decided to run away to Philadelphia in 1723, even though running away was illegal at the time.
Success is work. Franklin had a simple formula for success. He believed that successful people worked just a little harder than other people.
Success is knowing when to move on. In 1748, Franklin’s business was flourishing so he retired, turning it over to his foreman in return for a regular stipend. He did this so he would have more time for his scientific pursuits.
Success is spawned from the desire to help others. Ben’s older brother, John, suffered from kidney stones and Ben wanted to help him feel better. Ben developed a flexible urinary catheter that appears to have been the first one produced in America.
Success is not about being an only child or about getting attention from parents. Ben was one of 17 siblings!
Success is living usefully. Franklin had a strong belief that good citizenship included an obligation of public service and served his state and country for most of his life. To Benjamin Franklin, there was no greater purpose in life than to “live usefully.”
[Sources: http://www.ushistory.org, http://www.lucidcafe.com, http://www.biography.com]
In the movie The Jerk, starring my all time favorite actor/comedian, Steve Martin, Nathan (Steve) set off to discover his “special purpose.” Once he knew what it was, or thought he knew what it was, his life had meaning and direction. In real life, the same holds true. However, to avoid laughing every time I say “special purpose” (if you have seen The Jerk, you understand why) I prefer to refer to one’s ultimate life goal as “specific purpose.”
A few days ago, we contemplated our general purpose in life, which answered the general question, “who will benefit from our existence?” Now with our specific purpose, we answer the question, “what are we going to do with our lives?” with more detail and thought.
Before you start breaking a sweat with anxiety over this question, let me preface the remainder of this topic with these words: very often people never set goals for the same reason some people never find true love—they are “waiting” for that perfect someone (or perfect whatever in the case of goals). Rarely do people know exactly what they want and it is even less common for people to know their ultimate goal in life. No sweat. Just be as specific as you can. If the most specific you can be is “I wanna be rich!” then I would ask you to define what “rich” means to you. The more specific you can be the better.
A specific purpose is like a personal “mission statement.” It’s funny how businesses realize the importance of this structure and purpose, yet individuals do not. Make your personal mission statement as detailed and descriptive as possible. When writing it, use the present tense with statements like “I am a commander of the air force leading over 100 soldiers, traveling all over the world while meeting new people.” While you are writing this all down, visualize it as well. Visualization is an important part of success, one that will be referred to many times in this program, so now is a good time to start putting it to use.
Once you have your specific purpose, you are free to add to it, alter it and even completely change it. Identifying a specific purpose is a very good starting point, but be forewarned that it should not control your destiny. Life is full of changes, and these changes may bring new opportunity and desires to you. Keep an open mind. If after spending years pursuing a career as an astronaut, you decide you really want to be a ballerina, then change your specific purpose. Just make sure changes made to your specific purpose are not due to failure or frustration, but rather a true desire.
Where we are today is largely a result of choices we have made in our past. Choices as minor as what to have for breakfast to choosing what we want to do for a living. Each of us has the right to create our destiny by a series of lifelong decisions. Accept responsibility for who you are and where you are today, and understand that you are where you are largely as a result of the choices you have made.
What about choices such as going to work? You may be saying, “I have a family to support, and I cannot choose to skip work. If I skip work, I get fired.” The reality is you choose not to skip work and keep your job. The choice of skipping work is yours, and you must accept the consequences of each of your decisions. Even in the extreme situation that someone has a gun to your head, you have the choice to do what they request, or risk getting shot. Choice is always present and always yours.
What about the person who gets hit by a bus? He obviously did not choose to get hit by a bus, but providing he is still alive, he can certainly choose how he responds to the situation. He can spend the rest of his days focusing on “why me?” and how unfortunate he is, or make millions writing the bestseller, Life After Being Hit by a Bus, and help others who happened to get whacked by a Greyhound while picking up a penny on the highway. Although we cannot always choose what happens to us or around us, we can choose how we deal with it.
A successful person understands this concept well and understands that her choices make her who she is today. She does not use the negative statement “I HAVE to” but rather “I WANT to.” Having to do something makes you subconsciously believe that you have no choice in the situation, which is rarely ever true. Once you truly understand that you choose to do something rather than have to do it, your attitude becomes positive, and you see the benefits rather than focusing on the negative.
Other people will respect you for your candor when being more truthful with a statement such as “I prefer to.” The words “I have to” are often used as a defense mechanism and used as an excuse not to do something. Understand that you have a choice in the matter and be savvy enough to avoid the words “I have to.” Those with whom you communicate will respect you more for it.
By definition, an excuse is an explanation offered to justify or obtain forgiveness. In its true meaning then, an excuse is really nothing more than a reason. An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey of success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame.
It’s three o’clock on a rainy afternoon. While Jim is on his way to an important four o’clock meeting, his car starts to smoke and stalls on the freeway. After cursing the radiator, the car, and his Maker, Jim calls BobbyJoe’s Tow Truck Service and gets his car towed to the nearest garage. He then takes a taxi to the meeting and shows up at 4:45, 15 minutes before the meeting is over. When asked why he is so late, he proceeds to blame his car for breaking down, BobbyJoe for showing up late, the garage for requiring him to fill out so much paperwork, and the taxi for taking him “the long way.” After Jim’s sob story is finished, his boss responds with, “Would you like some cheese with that whine?” Needless to say, Jim’s name will not be coming up for promotion anytime soon.
Jim, like most people, realized that his car breaking down was out of his immediate control and that it was certainly a good excuse to use for missing the meeting. He figured that even by showing up after such an ordeal, his boss would be impressed. Knowing that, he did what most “normal” people would do in the same situation.
Remember that a successful person is not “normal.” He or she is part of that 2% of the population that tends to raise the eyebrows of others. Now given the same situation, “successful” Jim knows that no excuses are good excuses and that the best excuses are those never made. With that in mind, besides calling BobbyJoe’s Tow Truck Service he calls his sister, whom he persuades to drive her car over to him and sit in his broken down car, while he takes her car to the meeting, which he makes right on time. (Authors note: If Jim’s sister is anything like mine, the persuasion probably consisted of a somewhat large dollar amount.)
Despite your best efforts, at times you will be asked for an excuse. In another scenario, successful Jim, despite his best efforts, misses the first 45 minutes of the meeting. When asked by his boss why he is late he responds, “Car trouble. Next time when I hear my car making funny noises, I will get it checked and not let it break down. I really do apologize.” His boss responds with, “Well your car broke down, there was nothing you could do about it. Don’t worry, it happens to us all.”
Note how Jim in the last scenario took responsibility for missing the meeting and did not put the blame on someone or something else. Nor did Jim douse himself with blame. Jim realized that he made an error by not taking adequate care of his car and forgave himself.
Next time you are asked for an excuse for something, think about the other person and spare them the details that are only important to you. Better yet, use your creative mind to avoid the need for excuses altogether and you will find people will treat you with the respect you deserve.
The source of the word “enthusiasm” comes from the Greek word enthousiasmos, which ultimately comes from the adjective entheos, “having the god within,” formed from en, “in, within,” and theos, “god.” Since its introduction in the English language in the early fifteenth century, its meaning has become disassociated with religion and god (the word god is “a god” and not “the God,” because of its Greek origin) and now means great excitement for, or interest in, a subject or cause. It is this excitement, or the feeling of having a god (or the God) within oneself, which is the fuel by which success is powered.
I generally do not think the modern day definition of the word does it justice. Enthusiasm is NOT the same as just being excited. Being enthusiastic about something is very much like being inspired by a supreme being. One gets excited about going on a roller coaster. One becomes enthusiastic about creating and building a roller coaster. Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity.
Enthusiasm will empower you to do just about anything you want, but most of all it will help you do it exceptionally well. The feeling of enthusiasm has amazing effects on the physical body as well. Voice, posture, heart rate and energy, to name a few, are all positively affected when one is filled with enthusiasm. Those around you easily detect this enthusiasm. When another finds you enthusiastic about something, it is difficult for that person not to share some of your enthusiasm. This is incredibly important when selling a product, service, or idea to others. With enthusiasm, your success rate increases phenomenally.
Enthusiasm springs from desire and passion. It is difficult to become enthusiastic about something such as taking out the garbage, but certainly possible. For example, an inventor on his quest to automate the taking-out-garbage process could enthusiastically take out the garbage over and over—the source of his enthusiasm being the idea of revolutionizing the garbage industry. A great way to become enthusiastic is to visualize a time when you were enthusiastic about something. Think about what you were feeling, what you were seeing, and what you were hearing. Replay the “scene” in your head until you begin to start feeling the enthusiasm once more.
Use words, body language, and visual aids to share your ideas. Use enthusiasm to share your feelings. The ability to allow others to share your passion, even if temporarily, is priceless.
William H. Gates (1955–) is the Chairman and Chief Software Architect of Microsoft Corporation.
Success is creating jobs and opportunity. Gates’ company, Microsoft, employs more than 50,000 people in 72 countries and regions.
Success is sharing. Bill and his wife, Melinda, have endowed a foundation with more than $24 billion to support philanthropic initiatives in the areas of global health and learning.
Success is passion for knowledge. Gates became inseparable from the computer. In his youth, he would stay in the computer room all day and night, writing programs, reading computer literature and anything else he could to learn about computing.
Success is following your heart’s desire. Bill did well at Harvard but just as in high school, his heart was not in his studies. After locating the school’s computer center, he lost himself in the world of computers once again. In his junior year, Gates left Harvard to devote his energies to Microsoft, a company he had begun in 1975 with his childhood friend Paul Allen.
Success is vision. When Gates first saw the cover of Popular Electronics with a picture of the Altair 8080 and the headline “World’s First Microcomputer Kit to Rival Commercial Models,” he knew that the home computer market was about to explode and that someone would need to make software for the new machines.
Success is unwavering commitment. Within a few days of being introduced to the Altair, Gates had called MITS (Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry Systems), the makers of the Altair. He told the company that he and Paul Allen had developed a version of the computing language “BASIC” that could be used on the Altair. This was not entirely true. The fact was, they had not even written a line of code. With that statement, however, Gates totally committed himself.
Success is not always about innovation.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.microsoft.com]
Exaggerating, or taking a truth out of proportion, is one of the evils of communication. Here are some of the top reasons why people feel the need to exaggerate:
The fact is, exaggerating is a form of lying or “stretching the truth.” Very rarely does any good ever come from lying.
Here are some forms of exaggeration that you should avoid.
Obvious Exaggeration. This is where the listener immediately knows the speaker is exaggerating because the statement is impossible. Example, “There’s like a million people downstairs waiting for you.” This is a somewhat childish statement that does not give the listener a true idea of the actual number and often leads to the follow-up question, “How many...really?”
Absolute Exaggeration. This is where the speaker uses words such as “all,” “everybody” or “always.” These statements are often made out of desperation or anger and do not give the listener a true sense of the situation. For example, “Everybody is upset about today’s meeting.” The chances are that all 68 staff members are not upset; just some are. What the speaker is doing is making assumptions based on a few samples, or in many cases, her own opinion.
Indirect Exaggeration. This is where the speaker will answer a question or make a statement in an attempt to lean the listener to an idea or way of thinking. For example, if a husband and wife are talking about going out or staying in for the evening and the wife says, “Well, it is almost six o’clock so we will have to wait anywhere we go.” This indirectly tells the husband that she does not want to go out. Why? For one thing, the wife is using absolute exaggeration by stating there will be a wait “anywhere.” In addition, the time is actually 5:35, not quite “almost six o’clock.” People tend to “bend time” on their side when they want to make a statement indirectly or prove a point.
One area where exaggeration is appropriate is in comedy. Comedians, writers, and others who are looking to use humor, find exaggeration a useful tool. If you do use exaggeration for this reason, just be sure it is obvious to your audience and not deceptive.
Avoiding exaggerating will help keep your statements honest, and people will respect you more for it. In addition, it is better communication to say what you mean and avoid follow-up questions. Knowing when others are exaggerating and seeing through their statements to the real meaning will also help you to be a better communicator.
In today’s computerized, smartphone, and pen recorder filled world, there seems little need to remember numbers. The truth is, despite all the gadgets available there are still times when accessing a gadget to jot down or record numbers is just inconvenient or simply not possible. For these times, we rely on “ol’ unreliable” (our memory).
Remembering people, faces, sounds, smells, sights and other more “interesting” things than numbers seems to be much easier for most people. Why is that?
Numbers, unlike most concrete objects, cannot be visualized well. They do not make a strong enough impression on the mind for us to be able to recall the numbers at will. Unlike trying to remember a vivid image, numbers just do not do well in our memories.
There IS a solution to this and a very good one at that. It is referred to by many as the “Peg System.” With the Peg System, you associate numbers 0–9 with sounds while creating words with the sounds made from the numbers you are trying to remember. Once the word is created, you vividly picture the words and associate them in a strange and memorable way. With this system, you only need to memorize ten general sounds associated with the ten numbers 0 through 9. Once you have those memorized, you will have the strategy for memorizing and recalling a number of any length, forward and backward.
First, here is what you need to memorize: there is a non-vowel sound or sounds associated with each of the ten numbers. These sounds have nothing to do with the sounds of pronouncing the numbers. If there are multiple sounds associated with a single number, you will notice that the sounds are almost the same, as in the case of number 9 with the hard “p” and “b” sound. Here are the ten numbers and their associated sounds that need to be memorized:
1 = t,d,th
2 = n
3 = m
4 = r
5 = l
6 = ch,sh,j,cz
7 = k,g,qu
8 = f,v
9 = p,b
0 = s,z,tz
Therefore, to remember the number 1, we can use the word “tie” and visualize a crazy looking, colorful tie. Even though the word “tie” also has a long “i” sound, the long “i” is not one of our ten non-vowel sounds so is ignored. These ignored sounds help us to construct words easily. Technically, because of the other sounds associated with the number 1, we can also use the word “die” or even the word “the” to remember the number 1, but the word “tie” is much easier to visualize.
In a more practical example, let us assume our gym membership number is “4268” and we need to present this number each time we check in. As we read the number, we make the sounds and start constructing the words as we can make them up. The number 42 can be the word “rain” (4 is the “r” sound and 2 is the “n” sound) and the number 68 could be the word “chef.” When we create the first word, we need to associate the first word with something that will help us to remember what the numbers are for. Better yet, if you can create a single “scene” that will reveal the number to you, then do it. My image would be rain falling from the ceiling right over the sign-in counter at the gym, and then the rain turns to chefs. This is a hard image to forget and an easy one to picture. Now each time I go to the gym, I see the mental picture and get the number 4268 from r-n-ch-f or “rain chef.”
It is referred to as the Peg System because like hanging a hat on a peg, we are “hanging” our first image (hat) on the item that is associated with the number (peg). This first association is vital because otherwise you will have a bunch of demented images floating around in your head with no home.
Remembering numbers can not only be a great party trick to impress your friends, but it can come in handy when the need arises to remember important numbers. Train your memory. Practicing this technique will not only help with your memory recall, but it will help with your creative visualization, as well.
The words that come out of your mouth and go through your head have an incredible effect on your actions and behavior. The subconscious mind is known for gravitating toward what you focus on. The same effect holds true for simply saying or thinking of words and expressions. For example, “It can’t be done” is a very powerful statement that stops your mind from presenting you with a solution of how it can be done. The results of rephrasing that statement to “How can it be done?” are nothing short of amazing.
The words you choose make all the difference when it comes to the way others perceive you. Radiate a positive mental attitude and an optimistic personality. Your boss does not want to hear “That’s impossible.” What she wants to hear is “If you assign one more person to assist me, I can not only have this ready by Friday, but I can even have it delivered to the prospect’s office.” If you are in a leadership role, saying, “This will never work” is setting a very poor example. Instead say, “How can we make this work?” and allow the creative juices to start flowing!
Here are just some examples of phrases you should avoid, along with their possible substitutions:
Once you start making a conscious effort to avoiding saying these phrases and limiting yourself, you will no longer think this way either—and vice-versa. The power of using the right words, or perhaps more important, avoiding the wrong words, is astonishing. Put this concept into practice and experience the positive results for yourself.
If you are a parent, student, teacher, musician, actor, doctor, laborer, or currently doing nothing for work, you are a salesperson. Everyone sells something. Everyone is in business for him or herself. You are in the business of marketing or selling your services and skills. Even when already employed, you are constantly selling others ideas, reasons for promotion, comfort, etc. In this respect, everyone should have a good understanding of the key concepts of both sales and marketing to attract success.
Selling does not necessarily have to involve the exchange of money. People sell something to somebody just about every day and rarely realize they are selling nor even fully understand the sales process. Sales is an important, frequent, and necessary part of life. The better we are at it, the more often we will get the things we want.
Since you are a salesperson, why not be a great salesperson? All too often I hear, “I hate sales” or worse, “I hate salespeople.” What these people really mean to say is “I dislike pushy salespeople who annoy me” (to me, the word “hate” is the worst four letter word I know). Do not be prejudiced against salespeople, or any group for that matter. If you are one of these anti-salesperson people, think back to all the times you bought anything where someone knowledgeable and friendly helped you by educating you about the product or service and perhaps even saving you money in the process. The more you can appreciate the value of the salesperson, the more you will do to improve your own sales skills.
I like to think of sales as the ability to gracefully persuade, not manipulate, a person or persons into a win-win situation. Sales skills are a large part of success in anything you do. Learn to embrace them and enjoy their benefits.
Elon Reeve Musk (1971–) is a business magnate and investor.
Success is being a visionary. “There have to be reasons that you get up in the morning and you want to live. Why do you want to live? What's the point? What inspires you? What do you love about the future? If the future does not include being out there among the stars and being a multi-planet species, I find that incredibly depressing.”
Success is finding inspiration from others. When Musk was considering the Tesla electric car, he thought of the criticism Henry Ford received for his car. “When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars, people said, ‘Nah, what’s wrong with a horse?’ That was a huge bet he made, and it worked.”
Success is persistence. Musk believes in the importance of persistence, stating that “…you should not give up unless you are forced to give up.”
Success is knowing that sometimes “magic” is really just advanced technology. “If you go back a few hundred years, what we take for granted today would seem like magic-being able to talk to people over long distances, to transmit images, flying, accessing vast amounts of data like an oracle. These are all things that would have been considered magic a few hundred years ago.”
Success is sometimes starting small and growing from there. Elon started his entrepreneurial journey as a young child. At the age of 12, he sold a self-made video game called “Blastar” to a magazine for $500. In 1995, he founded a company called Zip2, that was later sold to Compaq Computer for $307 million.
Success is turning dreams into reality. Elon Musk, being a fan of space, wanted to privatize his own version of NASA. His company, SpaceX, which was founded in 2012, plans to send the first crew to Mars in 2024.
Success is being an optimist. Musk, with the exception of his view that artificial intelligence will destroy humanity, tends to be an optimist. “You want to wake up in the morning and think the future is going to be great, and that's what being a spacefaring civilization is all about.”
[Sources:https://www.inc.com, https://www.cnbc.com]
The successful individual understands and appreciates the value of time. Time is one of our precious resources that is rarely valued as it should be. Time management is having control over our time. We can’t stop time or reverse it, but we can use it to our advantage.
There are thousands of resources on time management available; however, most I have come across seem to be written by employers wanting to maximize their profits by getting more work out of their employees. I believe to be a true master of time you must realize how valuable this skill is in the achievement of your own success. Mastering your time, not just managing it, will bring you the following benefits:
There are many benefits associated with traditional time management; however, they are beyond the scope of this lesson. Forging ahead alone should be enough motivation for you to reevaluate how you spend your time.
Here are some good time management techniques that act as the foundation of time mastery.
Time management skills are the foundation for time mastery. They are to be used in conjunction with time mastery skills for maximum benefit. Tomorrow, we will discuss the techniques and practices of time mastery.
Yesterday we introduced the concept of time mastery and focused on time management. Today, we will explore time mastery techniques used by those who want to do more than squeeze an extra hour out of their day. Making use of these techniques and principles will allow you the time for the pursuit of your life purpose and other goals.
Here are the six techniques and principles that take over where most traditional time management skills leave off.
Here is the big secret of time mastery: once your life purpose activities begin to replace your daily “have to” activities, your motivation increases, your work becomes your play, relaxation is obtained from your work, and productivity will increase exponentially! Don’t just be a manager of time, be a master of time.
How often do you say to yourself something like “I can’t believe how stupid I am” when you find yourself doing something... well, stupid. How often do you find yourself telling others, like your kids, spouse, or friends that they are stupid? In either case, you are verbally reinforcing a negative belief that will interfere with your success and the success of those you care about.
When you do something dumb, idiotic or stupid, realize that it was your performance, or what you did, that deserves the criticism and not you. Perhaps more important, use your positive mental attitude and criticize your action by telling yourself “That didn’t work. Now I know better for next time.” An action you take is just one of the millions of actions you will take in your lifetime. Is it fair to put a label on yourself just because of one, or even several of your actions? Successful people radiate self-esteem, not self-disgust.
Criticizing others is an art in itself, and one that will be explored in this program. For now, the most important aspect of criticism, especially when criticizing others, is to separate the performance from the performer. Do not criticize the doer but criticize the deed. Nothing does more to hurt the self-esteem of a person, or knock them off their path to success than poorly delivered criticism like name-calling. Sticks and stones may break bones, but for most people, names will do even worse—bones will heal by themselves.
If you want to be successful in parenting and raise kids with high self-esteem, be a successful coach with a confident team, be a respected manager with confident employees or if you want success yourself, remember and practice this one simple rule of criticism: separate the performance from the performer.
At one time or another, we have all heard of the subconscious mind yet very few people understand how to use it. Many people even disregard its existence because they cannot see it, touch it, hear it, smell it, or taste it. The successful individual not only knows of its existence, but knows how to “program” the subconscious mind for success.
Our mind, as we know it, can be said to consist of two levels of activity: conscious and subconscious. Your conscious mind is where we find the logical, reasoning portion of your mind. It uses the five major senses to gather information and come to logical conclusions by both deductive and inductive reasoning. To be brief, just about everything we know of as “thinking” is done with the conscious mind.
Here is the really interesting part—most of your mental activity is subconscious. This is the “work done” that you are not even aware of. The subconscious works 24 hours a day with no breaks. It is the part of the mind that controls your autonomic bodily functions such as breathing, digestion, and the beating of your heart. It is the same part of the mind that takes over activities once they become “second nature” to you, like riding a bike or doing simple math.
In terms of success, the subconscious mind is like a computer program that controls our thoughts, habits, beliefs, and convictions. Most people do not like the fact that they can be “programmed” like a computer or a robot, nor do they like the fact that the subconscious mind can control their actions and thoughts. However, we ultimately control our subconscious mind, and we have the ability to reprogram it for success.
Our programming started early in life when our parents, friends, teachers, siblings, TV and media wrote our initial program. These same influences continue to program most people today because most people are not aware of their powerful influence. Advertisers certainly are. A perfect example is beer commercials. They begin with beautiful people frolicking in slow motion on a white sandy beach on a perfect day. The people all appear happy, healthy, successful, and sexy. Then the name of the beer is displayed on screen. Now almost everyone who watches these commercials are reasonable enough to know that drinking beer is not going to bring them all of those things seen in the commercial. So why do they work so well? The subconscious mind cannot reason. It interprets images, words, and feelings literally. The commercials do exactly what the advertisers want them to do—associate positive feelings and images with their products. This is mind programming.
We can program our own subconscious minds for success simply by doing the same things: associate great feelings with all of the things we want from life. Use positive, successful statements when talking and thinking while avoiding negative talk and thought.
Throughout this course, we will be discussing detailed techniques for programming your subconscious mind for success. Understand the power of the subconscious mind, and you will be an expert “programmer” before you know it.
Oprah Winfrey (1954–) is one of the most important figures in popular culture, most well known as the talk show host on her TV show, “Oprah.”
Success is putting the past behind you no matter how terrible. Despite suffering abuse and molestation as a child, Oprah Winfrey found it in herself to be the best she knew she could be, and eventually become one of the most influential people in history (Forbes Top 100).
Success is helping others. In 1994, President Clinton signed the “Oprah Bill,” a law designed to protect children from abuse.
Success is doing it better. In 1986, her show, “The Oprah Winfrey Show” took over Donahue as the nation’s top-rated talk show, even though Donahue pioneered the talk show format.
Success is holding tight to your morals and values, even at the expense of your career. In 1994, when talk shows started to become increasingly trashy and exploitative, Winfrey pledged to keep her show free of tabloid topics. Although her show’s ratings initially fell, Oprah earned the respect of her viewers. This earned respect did more for her career in the long run than by giving in to the public’s demand for daytime TV trash ever will.
Success is having the power to influence. Any book she promotes on her show becomes an instant best seller. Any charity she supports on air sees phenomenal increases in donations. Any industry she condemns on air suffers serious financial losses—as in the beef industry. (Author’s note: If anyone reading this knows Oprah, can you please put in the good word for my book? Gracias.)
Success is diversification. In addition to her huge success with her television show, Oprah owns several businesses, has written several books, made several movies, and publishes her own magazine.
Success is reaching people on a personal level. Oprah is known for her empathy for others. When a guest’s story moves her, she cries and offers the guest a warm embrace.
[Sources: http://www.oprah.com, http://www.biography.com]
It was a snowy winter night when George Bailey stood on the bridge of Bedford Falls and convinced himself that he was more valuable dead than alive. George made a very common mistake on that cold, fictional night when he determined his worth based purely on his finances. It took a second-class angel named Clarence to restore his self-esteem and show him vividly how valuable his life really was. Although Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life is just a movie (and a great one at that), it’s a great example of true self-esteem.
Self-esteem is value or worth that one bestows on oneself. It is the inner feeling one has about oneself. High self-esteem is a character trait of a healthy individual. One cannot have too much self-esteem. Self-esteem is loving oneself, whereas over-confidence and narcissism are being in love with oneself.
Our current level of self-esteem is low, high, or somewhere in between and is always changing. For many people, they go through life with low self-esteem and don't do much to improve their situation in life because they feel deep inside they are just not worth it. Many of these feelings of inadequacy come from childhood and the school system. Adolescents have a seemingly natural ability to be able to lower the self-esteem of just about any individual. Unfortunately, despite their age, some people never mature mentally past adolescence, and the destructive criticism and mental abuse continues to be dished out to their children, employees, and/or students.
As adults, we often give ourselves low self-esteem by associating our self-worth with our bank accounts. We see rejection and failure as permanent, and give in to a negative mental attitude such as “why not smoke, we’re all going to die eventually anyway.”
One of the best things you can do for yourself is love yourself. For those of you who think that sounds too mushy, I will rephrase that to: one of the best things you can do for yourself is build your self-esteem. Individuals with high self-esteem:
It is amazing how much time and money people will spend on temporary feel-good-about-themselves solutions, yet not do a thing to create lasting self-esteem. A new suit will make one look and feel sharp, but that feeling will quickly wear off with the novelty of the suit. The outside-in approach to building self-esteem is about looking your best to feel your best and works well in the short-term, but should be used in conjunction with, and not in place of, the inside-out approach of building lasting self-esteem.
Success without high self-esteem is not likely. People detect low self-esteem in others and will treat them accordingly. Fortunately, building self-esteem is quite easy, especially for those with a positive mental attitude. Here are several ways you can build your self-esteem from both the outside in and the inside out.
Outside In
Inside Out
Healthy self-esteem is an important part of happiness in life, and high self-esteem is vital to success. You are a unique individual and have it within yourself to accomplish such wonderful things. The moment you realize this, you will possess the gift of high self-esteem.
Achievement begins with knowing what you want. Like your specific purpose, you must clearly identify what you really want out of life. Unlike your specific purpose, we are not talking about just one large major goal. What you want from life can be a list of a couple of things or pages and pages of material, emotional and spiritual desires. It’s your list.
How can you possibly pursue what you want in life if you don’t really know what you want? You may think you know what you want, but often when you get it you realize that you either didn’t really want it, or having the thing you wanted takes away more enjoyment of life than it brings. So how do you find out what you really want?
STEP 1: Brainstorm. Sit in a quiet place and write down everything you THINK you want in life from material wealth to relationships. Include things such as spare time for hobbies, spiritual goals, where you want to live, travel to, friends you want to have, family, health, and anything else you can possibly want out of life. You do not have to be too specific here, for example, if you really do want the latest BMW every year just write “latest BMW”—no need for model numbers, colors, etc. This does not have to be done in one sitting; it could be done over several hours or several days. Don’t continue with step 2 until you are satisfied with what is on the list.
STEP 2: Prioritize. Circle what is most important to you on the list. Let’s trim our watermelon vine so the watermelon we keep can grow to full size.
STEP 3: Eliminate. Elimination of wants and desires is not as tough as it seems. As soon as you realize that there are more reasons NOT to want something than to want something, you no longer want it. Carefully look at each item on your list and think about all that you would need to give up to have and enjoy that item on your list. For example, realize along with home ownership comes taxes, mortgages, and upkeep—so this may cause you to reconsider your “one home in each state” goal. Before you start crossing things off your list, remember that life is not two dimensional; your wants exist in time. So if your list has both being a Hugh Hefner (the Playboy mansion guy) and a family man, the former can take place early in life while the family life can come later. Look out for contradictions that exist such as spending more time with kids/grandkids and sailing around the world alone for two years.
STEP 4: Visualize. Create a vivid motion picture in your mind of your ideal life. Play this “movie” often and write it down like a story that is already happening. From this point, everything you do in your life should bring you closer to this ideal life you have created for yourself.
If you have a life-long partner, it is important that you do this exercise together. Or you may choose to each do the exercise, then compare notes and make sure that both of your life plans are consistent with each other’s.
The main reason people do not get what they want out of life is because they do not want it badly enough. “It would be nice to have three months vacation a year” is often heard but those who passionately desire this usually go as far to take a teaching job to have the summers off to pursue other interests. If your list is full of things that would just be “nice” to have, chances are you will not get them. If you do have these items on your list, either create a desire for having them by visualization or just cross them off and focus on what you are passionate about, and you will get it.
It is not enough to think big. The world is full of big thinkers. You must think HUGE.
By thinking “huge,” you are no longer limited by thought. Everything starts with thought and since thought is limitless why create mental limits? Most people would answer, “just being realistic.” Was Henry Ford being “realistic”? Here was a guy, who had next to no education, who started and ran one of the largest companies of his time. Was that a realistic expectation? Often people are doomed to mediocrity by thinking they can only expect what is “realistic” or “normal” for most people. Don’t make this same mistake. You are not like most people.
Thinking huge paints a mental picture that will remain in your subconscious mind. Everything you do, both consciously and subconsciously will attempt to bring you closer to that picture. For example, when I started Archieboy Holdings, LLC., I did not want to create a 20 million dollar hosting company—I had already done that. I wanted to create a 100 million dollar hosting empire. As a result of this “huge thought,” the software and systems we built were capable of reaching and surpassing those kinds of numbers. Had I thought of just creating another company like the last one I created, we would not have had as much success as we did due to marketing and software limitations.
By thinking huge, you will be much better off when having to compromise as well. Not only compromises with others, but when your huge thoughts do not materialize (as they often won’t—otherwise they were not huge enough) you will find that you have still achieved considerable success.
Remember, thought is without limits. Get inspiration from people like Henry Ford, Ben Franklin, and Bill Gates whose successes all began with huge ideas.
During my high school and college years, I was, at times, what we called a real “hot head.” I was very easily angered and often expressed it. What I did not realize at the time is that my anger and hostility would often be misdirected due to my initial reactions. I reacted first, then thought later rather than thinking first. Responding, on the other hand, is reaction with thought.
In martial arts, we teach kids and adults the importance of controlling anger and using their brain to avoid conflict before resorting to physical contact. This is done with practice, and lots of it. Stopping yourself from reacting to situations is not easy, since it seems almost natural (thus the expression “natural reaction”). However, this concept is so important that every effort should be made to avoid reacting to situations and start responding to them.
Here are some reasons why your response to situations can be vital to your success:
Responding is reaction with thought. As we already know, your mind is an amazing tool that is capable of generating appropriate responses to situations in a mere fraction of a second if you let it. The key is to work on holding back initial reactions until your brain has a chance to present you with the proper response. Some people refer to this as “getting composure.” Have you ever seen a person get all emotional when rebuking a statement someone had just made then in the middle of their yelling just stop, take a deep breath with their eyes closed and calmly say something such as, “Listen, I am sorry for getting so upset, but...” This is a perfect example of response taking over a reaction, and a great first step. As you consciously work on responding to situations, the time between the stimuli and response will lessen until it is almost instantaneous. Once you master this, responding will be a task handled by your subconscious mind, and it will be done without any conscious effort.
George Burns (1896-1996) was one of the greatest comedians/entertainers of several generations.
Success is having high self-esteem. “I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.”
Success is loving what you do. “Fall in love with what you do for a living. I don’t care what it is. It works.” George also said, “Retire? I’m gonna stay in show business until I’m the only one left.”
Success is sharing your wealth. In 1985, George Burns made a generous gift to establish the George Burns Intensive Care Unit at the Motion Picture & Television Hospital.
Success is motivation. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
Success is knowing what happiness means to you. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family... in another city.”
Success is appreciation. “Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.”
Success is making keen observations. “Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
Success is making a contribution to society. In remembrance of George Burns, President Bill Clinton summed it up best saying, “He enabled us to see humor in the toughest of times and laugh together as a nation. We will miss him greatly.”
[Sources: http://www.workinghumor.com, http://www.biography.com, http://entertainment.msn.com]
“How could someone fear something so great like success?” you may be asking yourself. The fact is, many people do, and it is this fear that keeps them from achieving it. Fear comes from the lack of understanding. It is clear to see that those who have not taken the time to explore success will not understand it and thus fear it. Having limiting beliefs about success also contributes to our fear of success.
Let’s look at some of the most common fears or limiting beliefs about success.
“It’s lonely at the top.” It certainly is not crowded at the top considering only about 2% feel they are successful. However, “lonely” is not the right word. Olympians who stand on the winner’s platform when receiving their medals certainly are not lonely. There are times going it alone is much better than being held back by others. The top is reserved for those with enough perseverance to make it there.
“With success comes responsibility.” There is no debating this. Success often brings great responsibility as it does great wealth. Successful people use their wealth to hire people to take care of their responsibilities. Lawyers, accountants, brokers, assistants, housekeepers, gardeners... the list goes on. Life at the top does not have to be difficult.
“When you are at the top, there is only one way to go.” This is one of those silly pessimistic statements. First of all, what is “the top”? There is no limit to success, wealth, or happiness so you can really never get to the top. Even if you were at the top, why couldn’t you just spend the rest of your days there?
“People resent successful people.” In actuality, resentful people resent successful people. You cannot change everyone else’s thoughts so why bother trying. For every person who resents a successful person, there is a person who resents a failure. So why not just be successful?
“Successful people are conceited.” Conceit is not a characteristic of success. Those who are successful do tend to possess high self-esteem as well as high self-confidence. These traits are often misinterpreted as conceit or narcissism but are very different.
“To be successful, you must cut corners, cheat, or act immorally.” This can’t be further from the truth. Unless you act with honesty and integrity and have high moral standards you are unlikely to have lasting success. Do not be misled by the press with their interpretations of tycoons like Elon Musk and Bill Gates. The media knows that scandals sell. People would rather hear rumors and fabricated “facts” than how people like Donald and Bill donate fortunes to charitable efforts.
“I would rather devote myself to love and/or my family than the pursuit of success.” This is my favorite one. Someone, at some time got it in their mind that one has to choose between love and success. It seems like Hollywood is a big believer in this false dichotomy. Do you know the movie about the guy who is very successful in his work, but then has to choose between love and work, then chooses love and lives happily ever after? There are HUNDREDS of movies with this same theme. Success does not come at the expense of love and family. Love and family can be a significant part of success. Problems arise when one neglects love and family in order to achieve something besides success, like riches or fame. Success is about finding balance, not abandoning your goals.
Fearing success will hold you back. Identify your fears and limiting beliefs and just as we did above, realize that they are without merit. Once you do, you will be yet another giant step closer to your success.
“Please don’t tell me I have to do sit-ups to be successful!” you may be saying after reading the title. Short answer, no. Crunches, leg-lifts, and other ab exercises will do just fine. :) For the long answer, read on.
The mind, body, and spirit are all connected. This is a fact that is widely recognized by both doctors and scientists around the globe. It is said that your outside (body) is a reflection of your inside (mind). By no means must you become an Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jane Fonda to be fit. Although being fit can mean something different to everyone, I like to define fitness as the state in which your body and mind function at your optimal levels. Being fit is not difficult. It can take as little as 20 minutes a day, three days a week.
Here are my top reasons to commit to a regular exercise program and commit to be fit.
General fitness can be divided into three categories: resistance training, cardio training, and nutrition. For the purpose of this lesson, just realize that a combination of the three is what is needed for ideal fitness.
There are many ways to get fit; some are free and others can cost big money. Depending on your budget and schedule, you can begin by joining a local gym or just Google “home exercises” that can be done without any equipment.
If you are currently in a physically demanding job, you still need a well-balanced fitness program. Generally, jobs that are physically demanding may address your cardiovascular needs, but not muscular and certainly not nutritional. Likewise, a job lifting heavy objects may focus on just one or a few muscles and result in an unbalanced physique.
Your mind cannot survive without your body. Take care of your body, and in return your body will take care of you.
I can honestly say that as a 43-year-old man, by my own free will, I have never in my life taken a puff of a cigarette, tried any illegal drug or narcotic, or drunk an alcoholic beverage or even a cup of coffee. The fact that I had quite an active social life in both high school and college, yet never took a sip of alcohol in those eight years is almost Oprah-worthy. There are many reasons for this such as upbringing, health, and self-esteem. But my main reason for abstaining from such depressants and stimulants is the natural high I already have just going through life. Before you say “Oh, please.... give me a break,” read on.
Life is full of natural highs that are brought on both internally and externally. Unlike natural highs, artificial highs brought on by drugs (including alcohol and caffeine) come with equal or greater unnatural lows. Read that last line again. You can control your natural highs and lows, but you cannot control artificial or unnatural ones—they control you. I have learned to spend most of my time in a naturally high state. Trust me, if I could bottle this, I would put the liquor stores and drug lords out of business (and probably be assassinated). It is this concept of not being in control of my feelings that has kept me away from drugs all my adolescent and adult life and will no doubt continue to keep me away.
In addition to the enormous list of side effects that come with the use of drugs, there is one major side effect that seems to be ignored—tolerance. The body has the ability to build a tolerance to foreign substances. This is very similar to inflation where you keep paying more and more for the same item. Your mind begins to “tolerate” the stimulant or depressant, and you require more of it to give you the same high your mind and body now desire. Do you know people who start their day craving several cups of coffee, go through their day with several “coffee breaks” then end their day with “unwinding” alcoholic beverages, while smoking several packs of cigarettes throughout the day? I would be willing to wager they were not always like this. That kind of “daily fix” takes time to build up. Despite the same mental effect, the negative effects on health are far greater.
There is no negative tolerance build up to a natural high. Natural highs are brought on by positive events that don’t have negative side effects and have no equal or greater low that ultimately follows. A tolerance, if one exists, will cause you to just do more of a positive thing to bring on the high. Here is a partial list of my “drugs” that keep me high on life. Yours may be different.
Herein lies another “secret” of success. The body and mind crave and need highs. If you deny them artificial highs, you will be forced to do the positive things needed to create natural highs. Buying a high that you can drink, snort, or inject is easier than spending the energy it takes to create a natural high. Successful individuals do what’s best not what’s easiest.
Best of all, natural highs are completely legal and mostly free! Being in control of your body, emotions, and feelings will allow you to experience natural highs that work for the achievement of success, not against it, and you will reach your goals in life faster and more consistently.
One of the more limiting factors in the achievement of success is the fear of failure. Why? People all too often internalize failure and say “I failed” or “I am a failure” as a general statement rather than seeing failure for what it really is—a single attempt at a specific goal that did not produce the desired results. Or my favorite definition, failure is falling down and not getting back up.
Think of an airline that fails to keep one of their planes in the air. The plane crashes killing over 200 people instantly. Does the airline give up and go out of business? Not likely. They pay the price for failure, learn from it, and move on. How do your failures in life compare with killing 200+ people? Think about this next time you are faced with failure and it will certainly help put things in perspective.
Just about all successful people have more failures behind them than their unsuccessful or even “average” counterpart. It is the act of persevering when others give up that makes winners stand out and whiners stand down. Failure is a positive force when seen as a necessary step to success. Failure becomes a negative force when seen as final or seen as a defeat.
Realize that from each failure, you can often harvest an equal or greater future success, and you won't look at failure the same way again. In most cases, if you make the effort to learn from your mistakes, the wisdom you get will be of far greater benefit to you. For example, if you fail to get that big account and your competitor succeeds, ask the would-be customer why? She will most likely give you priceless information that will allow you to close many more sales in the future. In this case, the failure (the one lost sale) resulted in future success (several sales) of much greater value.
Remember that the smartest, richest, most powerful, most influential, and most honorable individuals throughout history have failed more times than those who “played it safe” in life. Successful individuals welcome failure and learn to fail successfully.
.K. Rowling (1965–) is the best-selling author of the Harry Potter book series.
Success is doing what you are passionate about. “I am an extraordinarily lucky person, doing what I love best in the world. I’m sure that I will always be a writer.”
Success is bringing about enthusiasm in others. Rowling has said that her greatest reward is the enthusiasm of her readers.
Success is believing in yourself. As of July 2013, between 400–450 million Harry Potter books have been sold, and each title has been on The New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists. Several publishers had turned down her finished manuscript before one took interest, each offering many reasons why her book would never do well.
Success is trusting in yourself. Publishers kept turning down the Harry Potter book mainly because “it was too long.” However, J.K. Rowling had enough confidence in her creation to persist until it was published.
Success is often about rough beginnings. The first reading J.K. Rowling did for her book was to about four people. The bookshop staff felt so sorry for her that they stood around and listened as well.
Success is dealing with criticism. The Harry Potter series, which some groups have attacked because of its themes of witchcraft and wizardry, was removed from a public school in Bridgeport Township, Michigan.
Success is brought on by inspiration. Rowling first thought of Harry while riding a train back in 1990. “Harry just strolled into my head fully formed.”
Success is patience. It was one year from the time Rowling finished her first book to the time a publisher bought it.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.scholastic.com, http://www.infoplease.com]
How many times have you had a great idea or answer to a question or problem pop into your mind, only to forget it shortly after? Chances are that many of these times you have even forgotten that you had the idea or answer, so you don’t even remember forgetting! How many times has a task, or something you needed to do, occupied your thoughts all day long until you got it done? To keep ideas or answers from slipping away, or to clear your mind so you can be more focused, write things down.
When ideas or answers just come to you, the subconscious mind released some information into your conscious mind. Most of the time, this is information you have been seeking whether you knew it or not. This occurs more frequently when you are sleeping since this is the time your conscious mind is most receptive to your subconscious mind. It is these times of “enlightenment” when some of your best ideas come about. Write them down or record them immediately. With today’s technology, digital recorders are as small as a pen and cost very little. This is often a better solution than a pen and paper since there are times such as when you are driving a car, when writing is not possible or just dangerous. Do not let these valuable ideas slip away. Brilliant ideas that lead to success are not always born in the boardroom, classroom, or office; they come to us at inconvenient times and in inconvenient places. These brilliant ideas stem from the genius within all of us. When it speaks to us, we should not only listen but be prepared to write it down as well.
Perhaps an even more important reason for writing things down is so your conscious mind can be free for more productive or relevant thought. All too often we dwell on something we need to do at some future time. We dwell on it because we do not want to forget about it. Doing this inhibits both our concentration and attention. Add the item on your daily planner or to do list and allow yourself to forget about it. Your time will be spent more productively and without the anxiety of a “to do” task following you around like a dark cloud.
Don’t let your “million dollar idea” be forgotten moments after it comes to you. Don’t allow your days to be spent thinking about what needs to be done at some future time. Whether you choose the old-fashioned pen and paper, or one of the high-tech recorders, recording ideas, answers, and things to do is a great habit of successful individuals.
“Success is a butterfly, beautiful and flowing.”
“Leadership is like a bear, always protecting its young.”
What do these two statements mean? Did some great philosopher say these immortal words? The truth is, they are gibberish and I, just now, made them up. However, the chances are you read them as mystical puzzles, and if asked, you would search your mind for the underlying meaning. I did not mean to trick you; I was just proving a point that we are all guilty of interpreting analogies, similes, and anecdotes as truth rather than what they often are: just catchy phrases that sound good.
Lawyers use these powerful tools very often in court to make a point and win a jury to their way of thinking. Debaters use these tools as well because they know the power of such statements. Authors use these tools to reinforce their point. These are very powerful tools used for both persuasion and manipulation. Use them for persuasion, but never let yourself be manipulated by them.
Analogies, similes, and anecdotes all have one major thing in common: they are not meant to be taken literally. Here are the definitions of these figures of speech and some examples.
Analogy - Similarity in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar. Example: “Success is a journey, not a destination.”
Simile - A figure of speech in which two essentially unlike things are compared, often in a phrase introduced by “like” or “as.” Example: “The future is like heaven, everyone exalts it, but no one wants to go there now.” - James A. Baldwin
Anecdote - A short account of an interesting or humorous incident. Example: “My father did that once and got fired for it.”
Any statement that does not have a literal meaning is up for interpretation. Acceptance of such statements without really understanding the meaning is like being brainwashed and should be avoided. Statements such as, “Money is the root of all evil” or “It is lonely at the top” have gained much popularity over the years and are automatically accepted as truths by many, much to their own financial detriment. Who said these things? What did they mean? Some of these statements are thousands of years old and have been translated so many times that the intended meaning has been lost long ago. Other statements have been made by bitter individuals from whom none of us should be taking advice. In some cases, the time and circumstances surrounding such statements are beyond our comprehension. It is possible that the statement may have been true only for the speaker of the “immortal” words, but not anyone else.
Similes and analogies are great for avoiding jargon to explain something to someone to help them to understand. Anecdotes are great for making or reinforcing a point. You can adopt these techniques to be a more effective communicator. More important, now that you understand these techniques, use your common sense when encountering one of these parts of speech and do not automatically believe everything you read or hear.
Everyone should be an expert in customer service. Customer service skills are used in just about every job and career there is. People often do not feel the need to learn customer service skills because they do not deal with “customers.” They may not deal with a group that is referred to as “customers,” but they do deal with customers. For example,
Take, for example, the high school janitor (or custodial technician to be P.C.). He can go about his day mopping floors and keeping to himself. However, he can also have a very positive influence on students by greeting students, learning their names, smiling and getting them to smile back, helping new students find their way around, personally returning lost items to students, etc.
Success in any industry begins with the use of exceptional customer service skills. Do not assume that just because your “customers” have nowhere else to go for your services, as in the case of a police officer protecting her citizens, that treatment of customers is any less important. People are people—in any industry—and should be treated as valued customers. It is just the right thing to do. If you have just your own self-interest in mind, then realize how you treat customers will ultimately reflect on you and your performance on the job. Likeability is a major factor in salary increases and promotions. Building positive relationships with your customers also makes your job a whole lot easier, more enjoyable, and more rewarding. In business especially, exceptional customer service is a must.
Throughout this program, I will be sharing ideas on customer service. It is important to realize that this does apply to you. Even if you believe the job you are currently in requires no customer service skills whatsoever, if you are striving for success, whatever you do to get there will require customer service skills. Become an expert in customer service and both your “customers” and superiors will appreciate you more for it.
It is the typical Hollywood story that we all have heard: someone we know of on the big screen or TV appears to have it all. He or she has the admiration of millions of fans, beautiful companions, and all the money one can possibly need in a lifetime. Yet this superstar lives in misery and carries out a self-destruct sequence that sometimes even leads to taking his or her own life. The superstar had everything; everything except gratitude.
Gratitude is the state of being grateful or thankful. It is the continual reflection of what’s right with your life rather than the constant dwelling on what’s wrong. Back here in the real world (us non-Hollywood people) gratitude is just as important. Success is often realized with the expression of the internal feeling of gratitude. One who feels true success is far less likely to sink into depression or begin to self-destruct.
Why do most people find it so difficult to have gratitude? It has to do with how our brains function. We can only focus on one thing at a time. While our attention and concentration are in one place, everything else is shut out by our minds. Take a moment right now to look around you and listen to all the sounds. All of this, just a moment ago, was filtered out by your mind as something that was not important to your current thought. Our focus shifts with change. For example, if it started to thunder and lightning outside right now (and you can see or hear it) you would most likely notice. However, after about an hour of continual thunder and lightning, your brain would filter it out as it would background noise. Gratitude is difficult to find because the things we should be most grateful for in our lives rarely change enough to get our attention.
Here are a few gratitude-building steps:
It is important to your success to have gratitude, and it is important to your character to show it. The act of showing gratitude is known as appreciation. Appreciation is the externalization of gratitude usually in the form of words, writing, a gesture, or even just a look. Expressing your appreciation for others and other’s actions will strengthen your personal and business relationships.
Here are a few ways you can show appreciation
Gratitude is humbling and will keep you likable once you are rich and/or famous. It will keep you motivated and positive; it will help you to stay on track in pursuit of your life purpose. Show your appreciation for others frequently and emphatically, and in return, you will be appreciated more for it. You will be amazed at the results.
Jack La Lanne (1914–2011) is known to many as America’s number one physical fitness expert and guru, often called, “The Godfather of Fitness.” Pictured above at 91 years young.
Success is achieved through frustration. Jack was picked on and made fun of as a child. He was addicted to sugar and had suffered poor health. It was with this frustration he set out to transform his mind and body into the “Godfather of Fitness” he is known as today.
Success is desiring knowledge. Jack says he became a voracious reader and absorbed everything that would help him to improve himself.
Success is not being satisfied with helping only yourself, but doing all you can to help others. Jack was determined to share his newly found secrets (remember, back in 1936 they were secrets) of health and fitness with others. In 1936, at age 21, he opened the first modern health studio.
Success is acquiring specialized knowledge. In just a few short years, Jack had learned more about the workings of the muscles in the body than most doctors.
Success is doing what you know is right despite “professional” criticism. “People thought I was a charlatan and a nut,” Jack says. “The doctors were against me—they said that working out with weights would give people heart attacks, and they would lose their sex drive; women would look like men. Even the coaches predicted that athletes would get muscle bound and didn’t want them to work out with weights.”
Success is innovation. Jack developed the first models of the exercise equipment that is standard in the health spas of today.
Success is overcoming adversity. Jack was forced to give up golf many years back due to a serious automobile accident. Despite doctors telling him his golfing days were over, Jack proved he could overcome adversity by not only golfing once again, but shooting considerably better at age 82 than he did at age 50.
Success is the constant pursuit of doing what you love doing best. Even at the mature age of 88, Jack continued to tour the world with his wife, giving motivational lectures on exercise and nutrition.
[Sources: http://www.jacklalanne.com]
The world is full of new and exciting things to try. There is a certain kind of freedom, or renegade quality, to living by the words “variety is the spice of life” or “try everything once; go back and do the things you like again,” but this kind of advice can be dangerous to living a successful lifestyle.
One of the biggest mistakes we make is by taking the “if it feels good now, then do it” approach to trying new things. We spend so much time and effort preaching to our youth about the dangers of alcohol and smoking, and we expect them to put off this need for immediate pleasure in favor of long-term wellness. Yet as post-pubescent adults full of “wisdom,” we choose to try new things in quite the same way as a 13-year-old would. We may not have our co-workers next to us egging us on (“Go! Go! Go!”), but we choose to try new things based purely on immediate gratification.
The best way to quit any destructive habit is never to start in the first place. Quitting something we get pleasure out of is very difficult, especially when it comes to substances that are chemically addictive. According to a recent HBO Family special on teenage smoking, 7 out of 10 high school seniors who smoke wish they’d never started. Don’t live in regret and be a “woulda, coulda, shoulda” type of person; be smart enough to think before you act and avoid more serious longer-term consequences to your short-term pleasures.
In our continual efforts to better ourselves and improve our lifestyle, we want to try new things. But before we do, we should consider the consequences of our actions. This is done by asking yourself, “Will trying this put me closer to my goals and my life purpose?” For example, trying a new dish for dinner made up of pasta and fresh vegetables to replace a Big-Mac™ meal, would be a good choice whereas trying cigarettes that will lead to all kinds of social and physical problems, would clearly not be a good choice.
So perhaps it would be wiser for us to adopt the credo, “Try anything once, providing it is consistent with your life’s goals; go back and do the things you like again.” I admit, it may not sound as “smooth” or catchy, but it sure makes a lot more sense.
“Why do we do the things we do?” Although human behavior is extremely complex, one of the reasons we do know is to avoid pain and/or to gain pleasure. This age-old concept recently popularized by success author Anthony Robbins, is just as true today as it was thousands of years ago. Understanding this principle is like unlocking the secrets to human behavior and will allow you to take more control over your own life and help others to regain control over theirs.
Why do people smoke cigarettes? As a non-smoker, you may even go as far as seeing smokers as “less than human.” I mean, how could human beings do that to themselves? The fact is, smokers are every bit as human as the rest of us; smokers just associate more pleasure with smoking than they do pain and/or associate more pain to not smoking than they do pleasure. Understanding this principle will allow you to be more empathetic to others’ actions and behaviors.
Understanding this principle is only the first step. To change a behavior, we need to associate more pain with the behavior and more pleasure with changing the behavior. Once that is done, the behavior is likely to change. It is that powerful. Think of it as an old-fashioned scale, where we have the reasons for change on one side and reasons not to change on the other. Even though it is better to think in positive terms, the need to avoid pain is generally a greater motivator than the need to gain pleasure. So in order to change the behavior, we need to tip our scale to the reasons for change.
At this point, you may be saying to yourself that it can’t be that easy. Well it is, and it isn’t. The key is to make the associations strong enough in your mind, so you are convinced, without question, the behavior must change. Let’s go through this process with the example of biting fingernails.
Reasons NOT to change behavior (cons)
Now for the reasons to change (pros), do more than just write them down. Vividly imagine each reason with your eyes closed if needed. You can’t just read and write the words, you have to paint a clear mental picture.
Reasons TO change behavior (pros)
At this point, you should be convinced without question that changing the behavior is a MUST. If not, go back to step 3 and get more facts. Talk to people who have changed the behavior and add their successful reasons for change to your pros list. If you ever “fall off the wagon,” it is very likely that you still associate more pleasure with the behavior than pain, or more pain to quitting than pleasure.
The pain and pleasure principle is simple yet so powerful. Understanding this principle makes it clear that not only is changing a behavior possible, but with enough reasons on your side, change of the behavior is inevitable.
There is only one kind of successful negotiation; it is the kind where both parties come out ahead. I really do not like using the word “win” because that implies a game of some sort where there are winners and losers. Negotiation occurs everywhere in life and life is not a game. To be a successful negotiator, you must have the other person’s interests in mind as well as your own.
People negotiate with their spouses, family members and friends as well as in business. Consider this all too common negotiation session between my 4-year-old daughter and me.
My Daughter: “Daddy? Can I have some ice-cream?”
Me: “You have barely eaten your dinner. If you want dessert, you need to finish your dinner.”
My Daughter: “But I am not hungry. My tummy says ‘No more food!’“
Me: “Then your tummy does not want dessert either”
My Daughter: “No, there is room in there for ice-cream only.”
Me: “Okay, then just finish your chicken.”
My Daughter: “How about three more bites?”
Me: “Seven bites!”
My Daughter: “Four bites!”
Me: “Five BIG bites and finish your milk.”
My Daughter: “Okay, Daddy.”
You can see, in this negotiation session both parties came out ahead. My daughter got her dessert, and I made sure she had eaten most of her meal, which she would otherwise not have eaten. This was a successful negotiation.
If you are the type that went “for the jugular” and got as much as you could from a negotiation, you may THINK you have “won,” but you will end up losing in the long run. Here are a few reasons why this is true.
The key is to approach each negotiation as a partnership rather than a competition. Treat those you are negotiating with as partners and not adversaries. Remember that you are interested in the same common goal—a mutually beneficial arrangement or a win-win situation.
Did you ever meet someone whom you thought was extremely pleasant and had a great personality, and then later talked to someone else who met the same person on a different occasion and felt the exact opposite about the person? For example, “Hi Cindy. Boy, that Phil is a great guy. What a pleasant and polite guy he is!” Cindy responds, “Are you kidding? I met that jerk last week, and I found him to be rude and arrogant!” It is possible that Phil was in a bad mood when he met Cindy. However, the more likely reason is as follows: the people we meet often reflect our own personality.
Imagine that. It is like walking up to a mirror, introducing and chatting with yourself. Our initial reactions are to mirror the facial expressions like frown and smile, energy levels or enthusiasm, speech patterns, and even attitude of the people we meet.
This works both in the short-term and long-term. The short-term effect is the projection of almost a carbon copy of the personality you project. This effect is most noticeable when you first meet someone in the first 5 minutes or so of the conversation. But what if the two people who meet project opposite personalities? Generally, in this case, there is one dominant personality, and it is the more positive one. Be that person with the more positive personality.
Have you ever heard someone say, “They bring out the best in me”? What an amazing power to have—bringing out the best in others. This is actually the long-term effect of projecting a positive personality. When you continually “lift” others up by projecting a positive personality they are subconsciously becoming more positive and feeling good about themselves.
Here are five things you can do to project a positive personality when meeting new people.
More important, project the qualities you would like the person to show you in return. I recently had a wall-to-wall carpet installed in a room we use as the gym. The day prior to the installers arriving, we received a very stern phone call from the carpet place reminding us that everything must be removed from the room before they arrive—their installers are not responsible for removing the gym equipment. When the installers showed up early, I met them at the door and offered to help them carry the large rug into the house. Although they graciously refused my help, I could not stop them from helping me clear out the few items left in the gym.
Project a positive personality. When you do this, you will find that the people you meet are more helpful and polite. This will give you a better attitude toward new people you meet and just people in general. By bringing out the best in others, you will be bringing out the best in yourself.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947–) made his mark first in the field of professional bodybuilding, then in Hollywood.
Success is having goals, even if your goals change. Young Arnold had a goal as a boy in Austria: to get on the local soccer team. In order to reach his goal, he started working out with weights. In a very short time, Arnold found a new passion that would lead him to success.
Success is extreme determination. As a teenager back in Austria, Schwarzenegger was so determined to become the greatest bodybuilder in history that he would break into the gym to train on Sundays. It is said that he would train until he collapsed from exhaustion.
Success is having controlled obsessions. Schwarzenegger was said to have been “obsessed with money” early in his life, and he took the steps he felt were necessary to attain wealth, including studying business and economics at the University of Wisconsin.
Success is having a dream. Arnold had a dream: to become the best bodybuilder in the world. He did not slow down until his dream became a reality in 1975 when he won his sixth consecutive Mr. Olympia title.
Success is compassion. Arnold temporarily stopped competing because he felt he “wasn’t giving others a chance to win.”
Success is a lifestyle. Although Arnold reached his dream in 1975, he continued to have more dreams and more goals including acting, politics, business ownership, real estate, family, sharing, and more. In just about all areas, Arnold has become a huge success.
Success is helping others less fortunate. In 1990, Schwarzenegger was named chairman of President George Bush’s Council on Physical Fitness. For many years, he has supported sports programs for underprivileged children, including the Inner-City Games and the Special Olympics.
Success is not avoiding failure. Despite Arnold’s successful acting career, he has produced several “disappointing” films over the years, but never ceases to keep turning out the blockbusters.
Success is sharing knowledge with others. Arnold has literally shaped the bodybuilding community by writing several books on the subjects of fitness and nutrition. His experiences, knowledge and beliefs have been an inspiration to millions of people around the world who strive to live a fit lifestyle.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.schwarzenegger.com]
I remember when I listened to my first success program; it was called “The Seeds of Greatness” by Denis Waitley. At age 10, I did not understand that much but I enjoyed every word of the program. I was, however, waiting for him to tell me exactly how to become successful. Was there a certain widget I needed to create or sell? Who would I sell it to? How exactly was I going to make my million dollars? I anxiously waited to hear these answers.
By the end of the program, I realized that none of my questions would be answered. I became a bit discouraged and turned to the classified section in magazines such as Success and Entrepreneur. “Ahhh! I found it!” Here, hidden in the back of these well-known periodicals were hundreds of people with the answers I was looking for and willing to give me exact details on how to make a million dollars for only a few hundred dollars! What a bargain! Well, after many years and several thousand dollars I finally understood how success really works and learned several valuable lessons.
Since age 10, I have purchased hundreds of books and tapes on all aspects of success, as well as attended seminars by some of my favorite speakers. These have been the driving force that helped me find the exact way to achieve success. The key word is “find.” It was up to me to use the information I had gathered to define my own goals and pursue them with passion. Success is very personal to each individual. Anyone who wants to sell you overnight success or wealth is not interested in your success; they are interested in your money.
Success is about fulfilling the needs of others. Successful companies and organizations generally do this by offering products or services that others desire. Individuals can fulfill needs of others in many different ways. Before an organization or individual can meet the needs of others, they must first understand how one is motivated by unsatisfied needs, then identify and satisfy those needs.
Abraham Maslow, a mid-twentieth century psychologist, is known for establishing the theory of a hierarchy of needs, writing that human beings are motivated by unsatisfied needs, and that certain lower needs must be satisfied before higher needs can be satisfied. Unlike others before him, rather than building this theory from the study of the mentally ill, he studied exemplary people such as Albert Einstein, Frederick Douglas, and Eleanor Roosevelt to name just a few. His theory helps millions of people live fulfilled lives as well as helps managers, business people, and entrepreneurs satisfy the needs of others.
Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Physiological Needs. Physiological needs are the very basic needs such as air, water, food, sleep, etc. If these needs are not satisfied, it could lead to serious mental and physical illness and death. Fulfilling these needs allows us to live in a state of homeostasis. If these needs are not satisfied completely, it is difficult for our minds to focus on the fulfillment of the other needs below.
Safety Needs. There are essentially two parts to this category of needs—safety and security. Safety needs is the physical and psychological desire to be safe from physical harm. This need is a big motivator for learning the martial arts, buying a Volvo, or buying a house in a safe neighborhood. Security needs are more related to fear of change or loss, as in the case of job security. Security is almost all psychological, and despite the resources available to some people, this is a need that they can never seem to meet. This is mostly due to low self-esteem or the inability to control fear.
Love Needs. Love and the feeling of belonging follow in the hierarchy. Love, in this sense, is non-sexual and could refer to a marriage, friendship, support group, membership (like YearToSuccess.com!), congregation, and even a not-so-positive inner city gang.
Esteem Needs. This is the need for high self-esteem, which is one’s self-worth or value. Self-esteem can easily be built internally in many positive ways. However, self-esteem can also easily be both built up and destroyed by others or external events.
Self-Actualization Needs. The need for self-actualization is pursuing the heart’s desire and becoming the best one can be. This is the need for living in harmony with others, making a difference in the world, philanthropy, and more.
Self-actualization is the need that is so often never fulfilled by most people because they are so caught up in their attempts to fulfill the first four basic needs. Yet this is where success in life is found. It is no coincidence that the fulfillment of this need often leads to the helping of others.
There are many ways you can put Maslow’s theory to practical use in your pursuit of success. Here are some ideas
Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs does indeed have many useful purposes in both business and one’s personal life. It also reveals what I believe to be a major key to success: helping others fulfill their own needs. Keep these motivators in mind next time you are in a negotiation, being asked for a raise, or even just deciding what you really want out of life.
We have already discussed the value of self-esteem: how important it is to success as well as how it is one of the top motivators. We have discussed ways to build our self-esteem, and we have discussed ways that others can deliberately or indeliberately lower our self-esteem. There is another very powerful way to control esteem, and that is by giving it to others.
Giving away esteem is one of those crazy things like love and smiles in that the more you give away, the more you get in return. However, building another’s esteem or self-image is not about what you get, it is about helping others to achieve their full potential and to break any mental limitations they have imposed on themselves. Too many cynical people in this world do nothing but criticize, condemn, complain, and destroy other people’s self-images. As one of the successful people in this world, do your part to restore balance: be a builder of esteem and not a destroyer.
Here are some ways you can build esteem in others.
You can help loved ones, friends, co-workers, and even strangers build their self-esteem. It can be as simple as sharing a sincere compliment. Get in the habit of building up others and being a positive influence on those in your life.
People generally want instant results with as little work as possible. They buy diet pills hoping to reach their ideal weight within days. They buy exercise gadgets from infomercials hoping to get that washboard stomach in 10 days with just minutes a day. They buy audio programs on success hoping to have what it takes to be successful after a few hours of listening. Things just do not work this way.
Health, fitness, education, and success are admired by so many because of the dedication and commitment they take to achieve. Success is not found in a bottle, pill, gadget, book or audio program. Success is created inside your mind using the information you get from education, experiences, and wisdom. There is not one secret to success, nor just a few “magic” principles. There are thousands of ideas, beliefs, concepts, and skills which when put into action, result in success.
Too many people get discouraged from reaching their goals and are turned off by motivational or educational material because they read one book and claim, “it didn’t work.” There are many rungs on the ladder of success. Sticking with this analogy, visualize a very tall ladder that takes you to the top of a very tall building where you will find ultimate success. If one action takes you one rung higher on the ladder of success, then perhaps 1000 actions of same importance will bring you all the way to the top. Your definition of success determines how high your ladder is.
All actions are not equal. For example, I believe that mastering perseverance is far more valuable to success than say, remembering numbers. However, every single idea, belief, concept, and skill you possess and convert into action will take you closer to success. It is these small, gradual changes that stick and become part of your lifestyle. There is even more good news: the law of increasing returns is in effect here as well. This is also referred to as, 1+1=3, momentum, snowball effect, good things happen to good people, the rich get richer, etc. As you condition yourself for success, you will find success becomes easier to achieve.
One of the biggest mistakes people make in the pursuit of success is giving up on single ideas, beliefs, skills, and concepts because they see little or no change from them. They change to a successful behavior, notice no change, and revert to the old behavior. This is like taking a step up your ladder, not being able to see the top any better, then stepping back down. With this pattern, you can easily see why so many never reach success.
Some people achieve success early in the process and either just stop progressing or worse, revert to old unsuccessful behaviors. Success must be maintained just like taking care of your body. This is why success is a lifestyle. You can diet and reach your ideal weight but unless you eat right from that point on you will put the weight back on. If you work out and build a buff hard body, then stop exercising, the flabbiness will very quickly return. Success is no different. You never know it all, and when you think you do, life can kick you in the butt and send you back to where you started.
Success is a lifestyle. Live every day of your life with success in mind and allow your success skills to build up each and every day by replacing your old negative, limiting beliefs and behaviors. Don’t get discouraged and don’t give up on your dreams. Very soon, your success will be inevitable.
Helen Keller (1880-1968) was a writer, lecturer, and advocate for the deaf and blind.
Success is overcoming adversity. Miss Keller managed to develop admirable powers of intellectual and emotional achievement, despite losing both her hearing and sight before the age of two. She traveled to over 40 countries and became a leading figure who publicly campaigned on behalf of civil rights, human dignity, women’s suffrage, and world peace.
Success is continual education. Although Miss Keller’s formal education ended when she received her B.A. degree, throughout her life she continued to study and stayed informed on all matters of importance to modern people.
Success is being optimistic. Miss Keller was an optimist. In fact, one of her well-known essays was on the subject, appropriately entitled “Optimism.”
Success is sharing and caring. Since Miss Keller was a young woman, she was always willing to help others by writing articles, essays and books, giving lectures, and most of all sharing her own personal story of how a severely disadvantaged person can accomplish so many great things.
Success stems from frustration. In her book Midstream, Miss Keller wrote of her frustrations with learning, specifically the pace. It was with this frustration that she pushed herself to new limits that allowed her to excel mentally beyond a level to which most non-disadvantaged, educated people aspire.
Success is learning. In addition to English, Miss Keller learned to read French, German, Greek, and Latin... in braille!
Success is inspiring others. Miss Keller has been an inspiration to millions of people around the world and will continue to inspire millions more through her legacy.
Success is having character. Miss Keller devoted most of her life to helping others. Many noted her kindness, generosity, and enthusiasm. She thought the best of people and typically brought out the best in others she met.
Success is not using age as an excuse to call it quits. In 1955, when she was 75 years old, she embarked on one of her longest and most grueling journeys, a 40,000-mile, five-month-long tour through Asia.
Success is making a difference in the world. In his eulogy, Senator Lister Hill of Alabama expressed the feelings of the whole world when he said of Helen Keller, “She will live on, one of the few, the immortal names not born to die. Her spirit will endure as long as man can read, and stories can be told of the woman who showed the world there are no boundaries to courage and faith.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, www.afb.org, http://www.helenkeller.org]
Some estimates say that about 80% of diseases are stress related. This means that if we learn to manage our stress and avoid unnecessary stress we can greatly improve our chances of avoiding disease and illness. Another result of stress that is often overlooked is its effect on the mind’s performance. Anytime the mind is forced to focus on negative forces (stress), it is difficult to stay positive and pursue your goals. Since stress in life is inevitable, the key is to create a stressless lifestyle.
Stress is defined as “a mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health; usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.” It is clear that stress, by definition, is negative and destructive. However, it is not the adverse external influences that cause the stress; it is our response that causes the mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition. As we already know, we cannot always control external influences, but we do have control over our responses.
To me, managing stress is a wasteful activity that I would much rather not have to spend time and energy dealing with. In medical terms, managing stress is like treating the symptoms and not treating the disease. To create a stressless lifestyle, we must focus on avoiding stress altogether, and then managing the stress we do have.
Avoiding Stress. If you only remember one thing from this lesson, remember that stress is our response to adverse external influences. In most simplistic terms, we can train our minds to respond positively to these adverse external influences that would otherwise cause stress. This concept is amazing because it works. The ability to respond positively to such influences is one that comes in time, and one that you could no doubt possess by the end of this course. It is all part of your positive mental attitude.
Here are some ways you can condition your body and mind to deal with adverse external influences positively.
In addition to the above, you can also avoid stress by avoiding adverse external influences that trigger the responses that then cause stress. Here are some ways to do just that.
Managing stress. So you have done your best to avoid stress yet some stress is still present in your life. Here are some ways to effectively manage these stresses.
Don’t “fight” or “battle” stress, manage it. When we work with our bodies, we get things done much more effectively than when we work against them. Respond to adverse external influences in your life positively and with humor when possible. Master this, and managing stress won’t even be necessary.
The majority of us are visual people; that is, we rely on our sense of sight more than any other sense for learning. Visualization is the act of vividly imagining something as if it were happening and believing your visualization as if it were true. Although this level of visualization takes practice and time, the “dream collage” can help get you there much quicker.
The dream collage is your own personal collection of photographs, magazine clippings or other images that visually define your idea of success. It is made up of images that really move you and ignite the desire within you. Building your dream collage is a great way for you to find out what you really want. A dream collage is pictures of your goals. It is both motivational and inspirational, but more important, it is personal. It is personal in the sense that the images must inspire you, otherwise they are just images. For example, a photograph of a black Porsche may be nice, but if your dream car is a red Ferrari, then get a photo of a red Ferrari.
Here are some ideas of images you can add to your dream collage.
Your dream collage can be a large poster board on your wall with images glued to it or just a folder hidden in your desk with the images in the pocket. If it is not in a place where you can see it, be sure to take it out often. I personally use a glue stick and glue the images to a page in my success notebook and keep my favorite photos on my desk. Use whatever method works best for you.
Your dream collage is like your future photo album. This is an extremely powerful way to train your mind in visualization and belief, as well as to get the things you want out of life. Review your dream collage often and fill yourself with instant motivation.
I like the saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” and not just because of its irony, but also because of how true it is. Behind that somewhat comedic statement is a meaning so important to your success; you should memorize it and repeat it to yourself on a regular basis. Understanding the meaning of this statement is what helps turn losers into winners and failures into successes.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Your life is different today than it was yesterday. You are a different person today than you were yesterday. You are a better person today. The mistakes you have made in the past do not have to haunt you in the present or the future. Just because you failed yesterday, does not mean, in any way, that you will fail today. Today is a new day.
I know so many people who have given up trying to better themselves because they have read motivational books before, listened to “all” the audiobooks, been to the seminars, and they “didn’t work” or they were not inspired by the content. They have made up their minds that it is pointless to pursue personal achievement. This decision is justified by their claim to have “learned from experience,” which can be, in many circumstances, a very valid reason. However, when “learning from experience” is used as an excuse to give up on doing something great for yourself or others, it is no longer valid.
People who come from dysfunctional families are not destined for a dysfunctional life. People who have a criminal history can and do move on to legitimate and productive careers. If you were born and raised in a low-income neighborhood, it certainly does not mean that you must spend the rest of your life there. Your past does not have to equal your future. Change in this world is inevitable; make it work to your advantage.
Yesterday’s failure brings you one step closer to today’s success. The loser of yesterday’s race will, with persistence and determination, become the winner of today’s race. Your failures in life bring you closer to success. Never give up because of your past. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. How are you going to choose to live it?
At the beginning of the movie, What About Bob?, the highly neurotic and troubled Bob (played by Bill Murray) visits Dr. Leo Marvin (Richard Dreyfuss) for help with his troubles. Dr. Marvin prescribes his own best seller book, Baby Steps, which is about breaking down the apparently insurmountable problems into small, achievable goals. While this movie is fictional, the concept behind Baby Steps is very real and a great way to approach your goals and life’s challenges.
A perfect example of baby steps in action is our on-line course with hundreds lessons to read, about 1000 action steps to complete, over 1000 quiz questions to answer and an average of about 180 hours of study. If you were to print out each day of the course and put it into a book, it would be thicker than the average yellow-pages book with over 1000 pages of pure content. My reason for telling you all this is certainly not to turn you off from the course (or the book), but to show you how around 30 minutes a day is much more surmountable than 180 hours of study. By breaking down the very large goal of taking a 366 day course in personal achievement into single days, our on-line membership increases because members believe they can accomplish the small daily goals.
What about becoming a millionaire? Do you find it hard to believe that you can ever become a millionaire? After all, the most you ever had was a few thousand dollars saved up. Well, what about creating a product that you can sell for a net profit of $10? Can you sell about 100 of these products per day for the next three years? How about just 50 products a day for the next six years? Either way, you will be a millionaire.
The easiest way to overcome the mental limits we impose on ourselves is to take “baby steps.” Break the goal down into manageable targets that you believe 100% in your mind you can reach. If you do not truly believe you can reach these targets, then break the goal up into smaller steps or increase the timeline for completion.
The next time you are faced with a problem that seems too large for you to handle, or a goal too bold to believe you can accomplish, think of Bill Murray literally taking baby steps to the elevator saying, “Baby step to the elevator.” Who knows, in addition to tackling your problem or achieving your goal, you may just smile as well. :)
Thomas Edison (1847-1931) was one of the greatest inventors of all time.
Success is desiring knowledge. From the age of 4, Thomas Edison was known for his thirst for knowledge. This desire led his parents to introduce him to the public library at age 11, where he developed the preference of learning by self-instruction.
Success is acting on opportunity. At age 14, Edison used the information he got from working at a railroad station to publish his own weekly flyer, which ended up having hundreds of subscribers and making over $10 a day (big bucks back in the late 19th century).
Success is seeing the good in less than desirable situations. By age 14, Edison lost almost all of his hearing and was legally deaf. He naturally accepted his fate and quickly adapted his learning methods. In fact, when doctors offered him an operation that would almost certainly restore his hearing, he refused because he feared that the “added noise” would hamper his concentration in his now silent and peaceful world.
Success is imminent the moment true desire is established. In his late teens, Edison returned home to find his mother mentally ill and his father out of work and about to lose their home. It was at this point in his life when he made the commitment that he MUST succeed and make some serious money.
Success is learning from your failures. Edison’s first “legitimate” invention was an electric vote-recording machine that, despite its brilliance, was too far ahead of its time to be marketable and did not sell. Edison learned a valuable lesson in marketing, and from this point on, he vowed he would “never waste time inventing things that people would not want to buy.”
Success is a result of past actions that eventually are seen as valuable by others. Edison spent years tinkering with the telegraph, the quadruplex transmitter, the stock-ticker, and other devices, all in his spare time. Then one day, to his complete amazement, a corporation paid him $40,000 for all of his rights to the stock-ticker. This apparent “overnight” success that served as a major turning point in Edison’s life was a result of years of earlier work.
Success is inspired by healthy competition. In 1879, extremely disappointed by the fact that Bell had beaten him in the race to patent the first authentic transmission of the human voice, Edison now surpassed all of his competition by inventing the first commercially practical incandescent electric light bulb, which as we know, dramatically changed the way we all live today.
Success is a pattern that never quits. Edison obtained his last patent, his 1093rd, at the age of 83. This was less than a year before his death.
Success is perseverance. Edison is the role model for perseverance. While working on the nickel/iron storage battery, he performed 10,295 failed experiments before achieving success. In addition, almost every one of his failed inventions was followed by a success. Edison knew very well the key element of success—perseverance.
[Sources: http://www.thomasedison.com, http://www.incwell.com, http://www.biography.com]
Jack worked hard through school. He studied every night, did his assignments on time, and did extra credit assignments when possible. He applied to 14 of the top colleges and was accepted to two of them. Jack chose Yale where he worked feverishly for another four years. During that time, he applied for dozens of internships and made many connections in the business world. Upon graduation, he interviewed for almost 50 jobs and out of his four job offers, he accepted a very attractive position as a high-level manager for a respectable company. When Jack’s friends learned of his success, they would say, “Boy, is he lucky!”
How much of success is actually luck? Is the reason that you are not successful because you tend to have bad luck whereas others who are successful only have good luck? What is luck anyway? I am not going to say, “I don’t believe in luck” or “luck is for losers.” Luck is very real. However, I believe luck is something over which we all have a strong influence.
Luck is defined as, “the chance happening of fortunate or adverse events.” The keyword here is “chance.” This is important because to improve our luck, all we need to do is improve our chances. Luck is nothing more than the application of the law of probability. The person who is most likely to be “lucky” at winning the lottery is the person who buys more tickets. Of course, there are those one-in-a-billion chances we hear about where one-time ticket buyers win the jackpot, but not only is that extremely rare, it is also NOT success. By now you should realize that success cannot be achieved by one fortunate chance in life or even several. Success is achieved within us and is a result of our own continual personal development.
Each of us has the ability to create our own good luck—or bad luck for that matter. First of all, you must BELIEVE that you control your destiny. The luck you have experienced in your life and the luck you will experience has much to do with you. Although we cannot have good luck all the time, using the laws of averages and probability, we can certainly tip the scale of good luck and fortune on our side. You can have more doors opened for you and experience more of the things that everybody refers to as “luck.”
Here are some suggestions on how you can make your own good luck.
Then there is the snowball effect. As you start to create good luck in your life, you will experience even more good luck as a result of your existing good luck. The door of opportunity and good fortune usually opens to several more doors.
Unfortunate events or chance will come your way from time to time and despite all your efforts they cannot be avoided. However, you CAN control your response to this “bad luck.” As a positive thinker and one who looks for opportunity in problems, each instance of “bad luck” will be replaced with “minor set backs” or even “new opportunities.” Luck, as we know it, is all about perception.
When you understand that you create your own luck, you no longer live with insecurity—thinking that some unfortunate chance will take away your success. It is true that some unfortunate chance may take away your money or your business, but it can only take away your success if you let it.
Good luck does exist, and it is something each of us has the power to influence. What most people refer to as bad luck is generally referred to as “minor setbacks” or “new opportunities” by successful individuals. Follow the suggestions above for creating your own good luck, and you too will find yourself becoming increasingly “lucky.”
Why aren’t you rich? I love to ask this question to others. It seems like whenever I ask this question of someone, they respond by going into their best Bob Newhart routine—breaking a sweat and stuttering. Why aren’t YOU rich? We already know that riches are just a small part of success and money is not everything, blah blah blah... so for now, with that understanding, let’s just talk about being rich in a purely financial sense.
Like success, the word “rich” has a different meaning for everyone. For the purpose of this discussion, let’s just assume it means having more than enough money to live your dreams. If you already are rich, then play along with us anyway; you can still use this information to help others get rich.
It is time to ask yourself, why aren’t you rich? Write down your reasons why in your success journal. I promise you, this will be an incredible eye-opener for you and a big step forward in your attainment of wealth. To help you in your thought process, here are some of the more common reasons people have come up with.
Now that you have written down your reasons ask yourself, “Are these the real reasons or are they excuses?” In other words, is this what you are telling yourself and others because it “sounds reasonable”? Or behind the excuse is there a more truthful reason? I am asking you to question your reasons or beliefs as to why you think you are not rich. For example, if you wrote down, “I don’t have the time,” don’t you think you would make the time if you knew that by making the time you would become rich? If so, then isn’t the real reason that you do not believe you can become rich? Go back through your list of reasons now, and write down the real reasons.
Here are some to get you started.
If your reasons are not in the list above, use the same line of reasoning that I have used to refute your own statements. Have fun with this... pretend you are a lawyer putting yourself on the witness stand, drilling yourself for the real reasons. Don’t go easy on yourself!
Congratulations! Assuming you have done the exercise, you are now closer to being rich than you ever have been before. Now that you know why you are not rich, it is up to you to make the necessary changes in your beliefs, behaviors, and/or lifestyle to become rich. If you are not sure how, no need to worry. You will find the information you need in this course. I am not being secretive—if I could tell you to do A,B,C to be rich, I would. Like success, there are many ideas, concepts, skills, and beliefs that will help you to acquire riches. Just remember to be patient and believe in yourself.
Why do so many people do just what they need to do to “get by” in life rather than go the extra mile? Some say it is because people are generally lazy, and some say it is because people are generally unwilling to give something for nothing. However, I believe it is because people are just unaware of the chain reaction of positive events that come from going the extra mile. If everyone knew the great effects this gesture has, everyone would take the time to go the extra mile.
Going the extra mile is simply doing more than you are asked or expected to do. You may have tried this approach before and became discouraged or found it a waste of your time. In order to realize the benefits that come with going the extra mile in business or your personal life, you must not expect anything in return. You must be satisfied enough in knowing that you have helped another in need. If not, this value will be in conflict with your other values, and it will not last.
Why go the extra mile? Why go out of your way for others? Besides the great feeling you get in knowing you have helped another in need, there are many reasons that will ultimately benefit you. I use the word “ultimately” because these benefits are not obvious and not immediately recognizable; however, they do have a very positive effect on your success in life.
How and when do you go the extra mile? Do you give your customers free products or service? Do you do your employees’ jobs for them? Do you give away money to your friends? Going the extra mile is not about becoming a slave or a saint; it is about offering your help in some small way. Giving away products, service, money, or doing too much for others will hurt both your business and the independence of others you are attempting to help. Ask yourself this question, “Is this something I would charge a friend for?” If not, then do it for free and do it with enthusiasm.
Here are some ways you can go the extra mile for others.
Waiters who go the extra mile get bigger tips. Employees who go the extra mile get more promotions. Businesses that go the extra mile get more customers. Go the extra mile for others in your life and expect nothing in return. Then just sit back and enjoy the by-product of success that will eventually come your way.
In America, we have some disempowering sayings that, unfortunately, some have adopted as credos, and even worse, ways of life. Sayings like, “A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work,” “Don’t work too hard,” and the classic, “Thank God it’s Friday.” We use these snazzy sayings during “happy” hour, in conversations with friends and co-workers, and even stick them on the bumpers of our cars. It seems as if too many people universally share misery and hatred for one’s work. Why not live by the words, “Thank God it’s any day!”
Our week consists of seven days, five of which are traditionally reserved for “work” and two for “play.” Again I say “traditionally” because I do not know who came up with this idea, but it wasn’t someone with success in mind nor was it someone who valued family life. Nevertheless, for most working adults, this is just “the way it is.” If you are not one the fortunate few who can spend all seven days with the ideal balance of work and play, there are still ways you can enjoy your “work week.”
Let me ask you this question: how much would the quality of your life improve if every day of the week was as enjoyable as your best day of the week? The average working adult, and student for that matter enjoys 2 out of 7 days of the week or about 29% of the week. Add in some vacations and personal days, and we’re looking at about 35%—which leaves 65% of our days spent doing things that we don’t enjoy. And that’s assuming we spend all of our non-work days on things we enjoy!
To be successful, you must enjoy what you do. The more passionate you are about what you do for a living, the easier success will come. I have said before that I believe perseverance is the most important part of success; well, right after perseverance comes enjoying what you do. There are two basic ways you can start enjoying every day:
Change what you do for a living. If you truly dislike your current job and you do not realistically see any chance of improvement in the near future, find a new job. Changing jobs or careers is one of the more stressful moves you can make in your lifetime because it usually requires taking risks and giving up security. However, it can also fill your life with new excitement and enthusiasm that you have been without for so many years. Changing what you do for a living is a serious step and should be well thought out.
Change your attitude. Life is perception and perception is about attitude. For every one person who “hates” their job, there are at least a dozen people who would love to have it. I wouldn't suggest giving up on your dreams and adopt a “learn to like” attitude toward your current work, but I am suggesting a conscious change in the way you approach your work that will make it enjoyable while you work toward your dreams.
Here are some things you can do to build a more positive attitude toward your current work.
A major key to success is happiness. Without happiness, success is not possible. Don’t settle for two days of happiness or enjoyment a week. Change your job or change your attitude and wake up each day with excitement and passion. Adopt the credo, “Thank God it’s any day.”
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) was the sixteenth President of the United States.
Success is having character. “We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it.” • “Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”
Success is knowing how to accept criticism and knowing enough not to criticize. “If I care to listen to every criticism, let alone act on them, then this shop may as well be closed for all other businesses. I have learned to do my best, and if the end result is good then I do not care for any criticism, but if the end result is not good, then even the praise of ten angels would not make the difference.” • “I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to find one who cannot.”
Success is consistently doing one’s best every day. “I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.”
Success is realizing the true significance of failure. “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”
Success is understanding the secret to happiness. “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Success is understanding the power of listening. “When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.”
Success is knowing how to influence others. “When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted. It is an old and true maxim that ‘a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.’ So with men. If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great highroad to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing him of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause is really a good one.”
Success is knowing the futility of procrastination. “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”
Success is not showing envy toward another’s wealth. “Property is the fruit of labor...property is desirable...is a positive good in the world. That some should be rich shows that others may become rich, and hence is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another; but let him labor diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.whitehouse.gov]
The law of diminishing returns simply states that at some point the same effort yields less favorable results. This law can be adapted to many areas of life. Understanding and recognition of this law play an important part in success.
If you have a gallon of your favorite ice cream and start to eat it, the first bite may bring you to your knees while groaning “ummmmm.” The next few bites will be good as well but may not have the same effect. By the time you are halfway through the gallon, you may be feeling like dropping to your knees, but for a completely different reason. Perhaps this law is the reason for the popularity of the banana split—lots of ice cream, but one scoop of vanilla, one of chocolate, and one of strawberry. With each change, your stomach may be just as full, but your mind has a new experience and the point of diminishing return shifts. This is the law of diminishing returns in action, and it applies to all foods as well.
In business, recognition of this law and its presence is vital. In the business world, this law is often referred to as “spinning your wheels,” that is, putting forth much effort with little return. However, it is harder to recognize when your actions produce great results at the onset and then diminish. Very often, people become stubborn and proceed with the same action without change. Learn to recognize the point where it is time to move on to something else.
When I started Archieboy, we built web hosting companies. With our first web host, we reached a point where no matter how much additional effort we put into marketing and promotion of the company, we would see the same general results. This is the point of diminishing return. We then proceeded to create new hosting companies where our efforts would produce much greater returns. This strategy is commonly used in business and referred to at times as line extension.
The inventor of the banana split knew how to sell more ice cream and counter the law of diminishing returns by subjecting the customer to change. This is a very powerful technique used by those in marketing. For example, I have much information to get across in this book. Instead of grouping the days by general topics (motivation, time management, communication, etc.), I mix up the topics almost daily. Each time the reader comes to a new topic, the interest is restored, and the point of diminishing returns is pushed back. Eventually, however, the point will be reached despite the number of changes.
Recognize this law in your personal life as well. For example, in study you may find that when you read for 30 minutes at a time you retain most of the information and maintain interest, but if you push that 30 minutes to one hour, the second 30 minutes you find yourself drifting and retain almost nothing. At the 30-minute mark, the law of diminishing returns has kicked into effect.
Understanding this law will have a significant effect on your productivity and time management. As we have seen, it can also be applied to other areas of our lives as well. Learn to recognize when you are “spinning your wheels,” and change your actions or behaviors to become more productive in all areas of your life.
How can you NOT remain positive and optimistic knowing that in some way, every day, the quality of your life is getting better and better? This is not a hard task, even for those who consider themselves “over the hill.” We are all endowed with the ability to make positive changes in our lives every day and literally become better people if we choose to.
Some people let time get the better of them. As time passes, they lose their health and vitality and give up on their dreams while slipping into an ongoing state of depression. Others embrace the power of personal growth and personal achievement and begin to replace youth with wisdom, innocence with understanding, and lack of purpose with self-actualization. Although it may not always seem like it, time is on our side.
Here are some suggestions on how you can make small, daily changes in your life and become a better person tomorrow than you are today, and continue this pattern for the rest of your life.
Health and Fitness
Mind and Spirit
Our lives can get better every day in some way. It can be as simple as learning a new word every day, or as involved as following all of the suggestions above. You are in control of the quality of life you live today and the quality of life you live in the future. Just as you would plan for your financial future, plan for your physical and spiritual future as well.
If you are the type that gets motivation from self-talk and mantras, then when you wake up, why not say to yourself, “My life is better today than it was yesterday” or if you think about it, “Today is the best day of my life.” What a way to start the day!
In the past 50 years or so, incredible progress has been made in the fields of personal achievement and personal development. People such as Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, and Earl Nightingale, just to name a few, have devoted their entire lives to the study of success. Their lives’ work has been summarized in the books and audio programs they have released. Many of these books and programs sit like hidden gems on shelves of bookstores and in warehouses, waiting for readers to discover the life-changing information contained within.
If these books and programs are really that powerful, why don’t more people read and listen to them? Here are the most common reasons:
Now here are just some of the benefits of reading and listening to positive, motivational, and educational material.
Here is my five-step process for getting the most out of non-fictional, self-help material.
To me, listening to motivational material is empowering and energizing yet comforting and relaxing at the same time. Take advantage of the wealth of information on personal achievement that is available today and you, too, will soon be hooked on success.
How often do you find yourself down and a little depressed? Don’t you find it strange that outside events that really have nothing to do with you, like the weather, can so easily influence your mood? Or perhaps you wake up to some bad news and resolve that “today is going to be one of those days,” and sure enough, it becomes one of “those days.” Good news, in many of these situations, good days are within your complete control.
While treatment for clinical depression should be discussed with a licensed professional, the cure for the common “bad mood” can often be a simple change in thinking behavior. If this kind of melancholy is brought on by our thoughts, and we can control our thoughts, then isn’t it true that we can control mood with our own thoughts? If you have a positive mental attitude, it is extremely difficult to get in the bad mood habit. People with positive attitudes understand that they are in control of their own destiny as well as their thoughts and feelings. It would be fair to say, however, that this level of positive mental attitude does not come easily and takes time to build. Thinking positively is a habit just like melancholy can be a habit. However, melancholy is a habit most people would like to do without, so it makes the habit easier to “kick.”
Besides applying a good positive mental attitude to your daily life, here are some techniques for having a mood that is consistently one of motivation, gratitude, and energy.
We can actually sum up all of these techniques into one general rule: change what you focus on. Try focusing on all the good things in your life, what has been, what is, and more important, what can be. If you cannot think of any good things in your life, then think harder. We can all at least be thankful for being alive. As an American or a citizen of another free country with opportunity, we have even more positive things to focus on. Focus on the positive and build your positive mental attitude, and “bad moods” may very well become a thing of the past.
Sam Walton (1918-1992) founded the Wal-Mart discount retail store chain in 1962 and revolutionized the retail industry. Here we have adapted Sam Walton’s 10 Rules For Success—from Sam Walton: Made in America, My Story, co-authored by J. Huey, Doubleday.
Success is committing yourself to your business. Believe in it more than anything else. If you love your work, you’ll be out there every day trying to do the best you can, and pretty soon everybody around will catch the passion from you—like a fever.
Success is sharing your profits with all your associates, and treating them like partners. In turn, they will treat you like a partner, and together you will all perform beyond your wildest expectations.
Success is motivating your partners. Money and ownership aren’t enough. Set high goals, encourage competition and then keep score. Make bets with outrageous payoffs.
Success is communicating everything you possibly can to your partners. The more they know, the more they’ll understand. The more they understand, the more they’ll care. Once they care, there’s no stopping them. The gain you get from empowering your associates more than offsets the risk of informing your competitors.
Success is appreciating everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They’re absolutely free and worth a fortune.
Success is celebrating your success and finding humor in your failures. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Loosen up, and everyone around you will loosen up. Have fun and don’t be afraid to show enthusiasm. When all else fails put on a costume and sing a silly song.
Success is listening to everyone in your company, and figuring out ways to get them talking. The folks on the front line—the ones who actually talk to customers—are the only ones who really know what’s going on out there. You’d better find out what they know.
Success is exceeding your customer’s expectations. If you do, they’ll come back over and over. Give them what they want—and a little more. Let them know you appreciate them. Make good on all your mistakes, and don’t make excuses—apologize. Stand behind everything you do. “Satisfaction guaranteed” will make all the difference.
Success is controlling your expenses better than your competition. This is where you can always find the competitive advantage. You can make a lot of mistakes and still recover if you run an efficient operation. Or you can be brilliant and still go out of business if you’re too inefficient.
Success is swimming upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom. If everybody is doing it one way, there’s a good chance you can find your niche by going in exactly the opposite direction.
There is an old analogy for positive vs. negative reinforcement that refers to how people “motivate” donkeys. A carrot is used to positively reinforce the donkey’s behavior, whereas a quick and hard whack with a stick is used as a negative form of motivation. There have been numerous studies done with other animals, as well as humans, on the effectiveness of the two kinds of reinforcement. Conclusion: positive reinforcement produces greater and longer lasting results—most of the time.
Have you ever had someone, like a good friend or a family member, flat out tell you, “Wow... you got fat!”? I did, and I can tell you that despite the lack of tact and political incorrectness of this statement, it did cause me to take action to change my behaviors that caused me to gain so much weight in the first place. Success stories are filled with similar situations where parents told their kids they are “worthless” or that they “will never amount to anything.” This negative reinforcement, which borders on mental abuse, caused these now successful individuals to take action to prove their parents wrong.
If you have ever had the good fortune to be a parent, you most likely had a time when you caught your 6-month-old putting small objects in his or her mouth. Well, you could praise them every time they don’t have a small object in their mouth, but that is just not practical. Times like these, you must use the stick (figuratively, I hope!)
We have also said that the need to avoid pain is often a greater motivator than the desire to gain pleasure. Charles Dickens understood this concept well when he used the ghost of Christmas future in motivating Scrooge to change his behavior. You don’t hear stories of the CIA using chocolate cake and ice cream to get information out of prisoners.
I know... just when you thought positive reinforcement was the key to human behavior you read this and now are confused once more. So when do we use that carrot and when do we use the stick? Here are a few of my general rules that I have found apply to most situations.
As for telling people they are fat or worthless, don’t do it. The only real motivators in these cases are not the people who make the obnoxious comments, but the people who see the comment as a wake-up call and motivate themselves to make changes. In no case should one use such negative statements because most of the time, these comments will sink in the subconscious mind of those to whom these comments are directed, and become a belief. Use tact and get your message across in a positive and empowering way.
At times, you will find the stick will bring about better results. However, use the carrot whenever possible for creating lasting changes, especially when it comes to changing the behavior of others.
I can begin this lesson writing about getting in a car without having a destination, shooting a bow and arrow but not having a target, or any of the other hundreds of goal setting analogies, but I am not going to. If you passed the fourth grade, you have probably heard most of these analogies anyway, so I won’t insult your intelligence. I will get right to the point: proper goal setting is an important part of success. Over the next three lessons, you will read about why we need goals, how to set goals, and most important, how to achieve goals. By the end of this three-part lesson, you will have taken a major step toward your success.
What is a goal? By definition, a goal is “the purpose toward which an endeavor is directed.” In this sense, everybody has goals. Unfortunately for most people, their goals are as simple as making it through the day or making it home for dinner before six o’clock. In terms of success, I like to define a goal as “an outcome that one strives to achieve by proper planning.” There are two main differences between my definition and the dictionary’s definition—the words “strive” and “proper planning.” For a purpose to be a goal, you must exert much effort or energy toward its achievement. In addition, a goal must be consciously planned beforehand in such a way that makes its achievement more possible in your mind, and therefore, more probable.
To illustrate the importance of having goals, let’s examine why most people do not have goals.
A goal is an outcome one strives to achieve by proper planning. It is something one puts conscious effort into taking regular steps to achieve. This systematic process, or formula, makes the impractical practical, the unreachable reachable, and the improbable probable. With clearly defined goals, your chances of success increase significantly.
There are many goal setting strategies available and, just as expected, some strategies work well for some people, and other strategies work better for other people. I cannot stress enough the importance of using a goal setting strategy that works best for you. This usually requires adapting a general strategy and removing the steps you see little value in and/or adding steps of your own.
I will list all of the goal setting steps that are used to make up the strategy I have found works best. You can either adopt mine as is or create your own strategy by using some or all of the steps listed below. Have fun with this!
Brainstorm. Before you choose a single goal to set and focus on, use a blank sheet of paper to write down as quickly as possible all the things you want in the following categories: Artistic, Career, Educational, Ethical, Family, Financial, Mental, Physical, Pleasure, Social, Spiritual, and any other. There is no need to include detail here. Once you have created this list, prioritize each of the items on your list. This will allow you to begin immediately focusing on the potential goals that are most important to you.
Goal Setting Steps
Repeat the steps above for each of your goals. Once you do this, you will have created a clear strategy for the achievement of your goals. Tomorrow, we will conclude this three-day section on goals with the most important aspect of goals, which is the achievement of them.
By now, you should be absolutely convinced of the importance of having goals and its direct relationship to success. You should have also defined and set at least three goals using some or all of the steps in the goal setting strategy in the previous lesson. Now it is time to create your plan of action and see your goals through.
Create your plan of action. A plan of action in this sense is essentially a “to do” list. However, the plan of action includes a list of monthly, weekly and most important, daily actions that will bring you closer to your goal. The concept of taking small, daily actions toward the achievement of your goals is, to me, the most important factor in achieving goals. Do your best to find some action that you can do on a daily basis that will bring you closer to your goal. Add, “review goal” or “reevaluate actions based on progress” to your daily, weekly, or monthly action here.
The second part of the plan of action, or to do list, is the list of non-recurring actions. Here you list the action, the date it needs to be done on or by, and the approximate time it will take. You can even implement your plan of action in your existing to do list if you already have one.
Here is an example of our plan of action for weighing a lean, mean 170 pounds:
DAILY: cardio exercise for one hour, eat a light lunch
WEEKLY: weigh myself and take measurements
MONTHLY: reevaluate actions based on progress
Action: lift weights at gym with trainer
Date: Sept 1,3,5,8,10,12,15,17,19,22,24,26
Time: about 1 hour per session
Follow your action plan like you would follow a written prescription from your doctor (assuming you listen to your doctor). An action plan is worthless unless you honestly plan to follow it.
Without question, you will meet adversity. For some reason, at some time, you will find yourself not as committed to reaching your goals as you were when you first wrote them down. Do not despair, for this is all part of the process. Here are some suggestions to help you stay committed to your goals and follow them through.
Goal setting is not easy and achieving your goals is even more challenging. It has been said that you must pay the price for achieving your goals, but the truth is, you enjoy the benefits. You pay the price for not setting goals at all. Set goals in your personal and professional life that will provide your life with purpose and direction. The discipline you learn and character you build from setting and achieving a goal can be more valuable than the achievement of the goal itself, so enjoy the process and have fun!
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884–1962) was a humanitarian, United Nations diplomat, and First Lady; the wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Success is knowing how to deal with criticism. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” • “Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” • “Long ago, I made up my mind that when things were said involving only me, I would pay no attention to them, except when valid criticism was carried by which I could profit.”
Success is understanding the basis of self-esteem. “Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”
Success is learning. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Success is having character. “People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.” • “Only a man’s character is the real criterion of worth.”
Success is knowing how to bring balance to one’s life. “I wish for those I love this New Year an opportunity to earn sufficient, to have that which they need for their own and to give that which they desire to others, to bring into the lives of those about them some measure of joy, to know the satisfaction of work well done, of recreation earned and therefore savored, to end the year a little wiser, a little kinder and therefore a little happier.”
Success is embracing inevitable change. “My life can be so arranged that I can live on whatever I have. If I cannot live as I have lived in the past, I shall live differently, and living differently does not mean living with less attention to the things that make life gracious and pleasant or with less enjoyment of things of the mind.”
Success is knowing what success means to you. “We have all made such a fetish of financial success and forgotten frequently that success of any kind, when it does not include success in one’s personal relationships, is bound in the end to leave both the man and the woman with very little real satisfaction.”
Success is knowing what happiness means to you. “I would not be happy unless I had some regular work to do every day and I imagine that I will always feel that way no matter how old I am...” • “Happiness may exist under all conditions, given the right kind of people and sufficient economic security for adequate food and shelter.”
Success is believing in the Internet—even back in 1943. “One of the best ways of enslaving a people is to keep them from education... The second way of enslaving a people is to suppress the sources of information, not only by burning books but by controlling all the other ways in which ideas are transmitted.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.whitehouse.gov, http://www.wic.org]
Every day, we as the public are “sold.” The average American is bombarded with hundreds of advertisements each day telling us what we need to be happy and what we need to avoid pain. Like it or not, this shapes our beliefs and values. It is very important in business and in our personal lives to understand basic marketing, know when you are being “sold,” and distinguish fact from fiction. In addition to understanding them, actually applying advertising and marketing techniques in your professional and personal life is a key element of success.
Before we go any further, let us define a few terms. These terms are often confused, interchanged, and misunderstood.
Sales. As a verb, sales refers to the act of selling a product or service, usually where one or more people are involved. Sales can include direct one-on-one selling or selling to more than one person, as in the case of a presentation.
Advertising. The activity of attracting public attention to a product, service, or business, as by paid announcements in the print, broadcast, or electronic media.
Marketing. The process or technique of promoting, selling, and distributing a product or service.
To illustrate these three terms, we will use the example of XYZ Corporation. The marketing department has taken the time to put together a marketing campaign in which they have carefully planned the methods and techniques they will use to sell their product. This campaign includes several forms of advertising, including print and banner advertising, as well as direct selling via their in-house sales force, which will sell the product mostly by telephone.
Advertising, marketing, and sales are a very important part of our economy and, I believe, one of the main reasons we live in such an abundant society. In fact, if it weren’t for marketing, you would not be reading this book. It is these activities that allow both organizations and individuals to get their message across to hundreds and even billions of people while giving the people more choices.
Unfortunately, not all salespeople, marketing campaigns, and advertisements are looking out for your best interests. In fact, most advertisers never really understand this basic concept: when you truly help others, you help yourself. Every day we are conditioned, misled, deceived, and even at times outright lied to by advertisers. They sacrifice long-term success for short-term gain, and effectively create lose/lose situations. We as “the public” must be aware of the techniques used by advertisers so we can avoid being taken advantage of and make our decisions based on facts. As business people, we must avoid misleading others in our marketing and know how to communicate our message effectively.
Throughout this course, we will be discussing different advertising, marketing and sales techniques. Remember, even if you are not in business, understanding these techniques will play an important part in your success. At the very least, it will improve your decision-making process when it comes to purchasing products or services, and perhaps, save you thousands or even millions of dollars in the long run.
There are millions of people in this world who go without food every day. In the United States, one of the most abundant countries in the world, entire families live in rooms no bigger than the average walk-in closet, children wear rags as clothing, people living on the streets call cardboard boxes “home.” Closer to home, your friends and neighbors work just as hard as you do and are barely getting by. They drive cars that are held together by bondo and duct tape. They have mortgages and bills that prevent them from spending the money they do make on leisure or material possessions that will bring them enjoyment. With so many people in this world less fortunate than you, is it right for you to make so much money?
Before we answer this question, let’s look at what money actually is. It is a symbol of wealth. Money is given to you in exchange for something else of equal value, or it is a measure of the value of the services you provide. There are two caveats here. One, your value is not always realized the moment you provide the service. Vincent Van Gogh spent his life with little money, although he created beautiful works of art worth fortunes today, which millions of people in future generations will continue to enjoy. Two, some value is “paid back” with other forms of compensation such as fame, appreciation, admiration, or just one’s own sense of goodness. Alan Turing was said to have saved about 14 million lives by his role in ending World War II, yet people would not even know about his contributions until many years after his death. Keep in mind that these caveats are the exceptions, and for the most part, money is a measure of the value of the services one provides. Avoiding money either on a conscious or subconscious level will ultimately lead you to failure to become all you are capable of becoming.
Is it right to have more knowledge than others? Is it right to be more motivated and enthusiastic than others? Is it right to have more persistence than others? Is it right to be more loving, caring, and sharing than others? If you answered, “Of course it is!” to these questions, then understand that money is simply a by-product or result of these feelings and beliefs.
Having more money does not mean that someone else, somewhere, has to have less. This is why it is called “creating wealth” and not “taking wealth.” In a capitalist society, it is true that competing businesses do have an effect on the wealth of other competitors, which is generally referred to as market share. However, even businesses have the right and opportunity to expand into new markets where they can create products or services that will benefit more people. Most certainly, you having more money does not have anything to do with your neighbor or friend, the guy living in a box on the street or the starving children in other countries.
One of the main reasons people never achieve financial success is because they associate guilt and feelings of resentment with having money. While none of us can control the negative feelings of resentment in others, we can realize that there are no reasons to feel guilty about our own financial success. It is our birthright to be the best we can be, and we all have an opportunity to make a difference in the world. Pursue financial success just like you would any other type of success in your life. It not only is right to strive for financial success, but it is OUR right. Go for it!
Many think that the benefits and the seemingly miraculous results of belief are based on speculative or abstract reasoning, or the metaphysical. However, this is not the case. The power of belief is proven almost daily in the medical and scientific community where it is demonstrated in what is known as the placebo effect. When researchers test the effects of new drugs on humans, they give the drug to a group of participants, and they give a placebo, or an inactive substance or preparation, to another group of participants. In virtually all cases where the effectiveness of the drug is measured subjectively (e.g., pain relief), the placebo group will report positive effects from the “drug.” Even in the cases where a third control group is added who are not given anything, the placebo group does better than the control group, indicating a placebo effect, or an effect that is the result of belief in the drug’s efficacy.
Irving Kirsch, a psychologist at the University of Connecticut, believes that the effectiveness of Prozac and similar drugs may be attributed almost entirely to the placebo effect. He and Guy Sapirstein analyzed 19 clinical trials of antidepressants and concluded that the expectation of improvement, not adjustments in brain chemistry, accounted for 75 percent of the drugs’ effectiveness (Kirsch 1998). “The critical factor,” says Kirsch, “is our beliefs about what’s going to happen to us. You don’t have to rely on drugs to see profound transformation.”*
Remember, thought and imagination are about the only things in this world that are limitless. The body and human spirit often are limited by what one believes is possible. Prior to Roger Bannister breaking the 4-minute barrier to running one mile in 1954, no one else was able to achieve this goal and many thought it was not humanly possible. Shortly after Bannister’s new record, many other runners broke the self-imposed mental barrier and broke the 4-minute mile as well.
There is a metaphysical aspect that is often associated with belief. Those who believe this aspect claim that when you truly believe in something, the forces of the universe work toward making that belief a manifestation, or giving physical form to the belief. Psychology explains this not through metaphysics, but through science. Beliefs lead to actions, and it is the actions that bring about changes in the real world—not magical thinking.
Believe you will succeed. Believe in your own abilities and have faith in yourself. As Napoleon Hill, one of the early 20th century experts in success wrote, “Whatever the human mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
* Source: Kirsch, Irving , Ph.D. and Guy Sapirstein, Ph.D. “Listening to Prozac but Hearing Placebo: A Meta-Analysis of Antidepressant Medication” Prevention & Treatment, Volume 1, June 1998.
There are many “well to do” individuals in this country who have substantial salaries by most standards. This group of individuals usually includes doctors, lawyers, college professors, executives and others in high-paid careers. Statistically, however, despite their level of income, most in this group still have financial difficulties. Once they stop working, their income stream ceases, or at least is drastically reduced. They spend their lives stressed about money and working 60-hour weeks because they feel they “have to” not because they enjoy it. This group of individuals spends their lives working for money.
If the rich do have a “secret,” it is this: don’t work for money, let money work for you. This essentially means your money should be making you more money and your income should not be dependent on your labor. This is actually not a secret, but a concept preached by investment firms, banks, and other financial institutions. They use this concept to sell people on IRAs, CDs, stocks, bonds, and other traditional investment vehicles. There is, however, a flaw with this traditional approach to making people rich: for most people, it doesn’t work. In order to become wealthy using traditional investment vehicles, you need either a) a lot of money to invest, b) the willingness and the discipline to wait a long time to see your investment significantly grow, or c) good fortune, as in the case of a stock that significantly appreciates in value. Even then, you probably would not consider yourself “rich,” just better off. This is a difficult concept for most people to accept because they were conditioned all their lives by parents, teachers, commercials, bankers, accountants, and financial advisors to believe that this is where money should be invested. Traditional investment vehicles do have their place, but for the rich, they are used more as temporary storage facilities rather than life-long homes.
Imagine creating and building a machine that turned coal into diamonds. You plug it in, feed it with coal, and just sit back and let the diamonds come out. You can use the cash you get from selling the diamonds to build more of these machines and produce even more diamonds. While there is no known machine that can turn coal into diamonds, the world is full of similar “money machines” referred to as businesses.
All business owners do not take advantage of this concept, and those who do are not all rich. Self-employed consultants or other laborers, skilled or non-skilled, physical or mental, are still limited by their own time. By owning a business where you market products or other people’s services, you are establishing the foundation for wealth. This is the key to having money work for you.
Another method of having money work for you is creation. For example, when you write a book, you may spend 1000 hours creating the book. Once the book is published, you don’t need to exert any more labor. You are paid royalties on each book sold, and you have created a money machine. The same holds true for movie actors, inventors, songwriters, and other creators.
If you have chosen a career, do it because you love doing it, not because of the money. If you are torn between a passion for a low-paying career and the desire for wealth, choose both! There are many people who have made fortunes creating businesses, marketing products or services, or writing songs or books, all while working a full-time job. Be creative and create your money machine today.
John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) was the 35th President of the United States.
Success is determination and perseverance. Growing up, John was in constant competition with his older brother Joe who had the advantage of being physically stronger and earning better grades in school. John never gave in or gave up and pushed himself to make many great accomplishments.
Success is having an attractive personality. Many respected President Kennedy’s coolness when faced with difficult decisions—like what to do about the missiles in Cuba. Others admired his ability to inspire people with his eloquent speeches. Still others thought his compassion and his willingness to fight for new government programs to help the poor, the elderly and the ill were most important.
Success is making waves. In addition to being the youngest President ever elected at age 43, President Kennedy was also the first Roman Catholic President.
Success is making the best use of your time. In 1955, while recuperating from a back operation, Kennedy wrote Profiles in Courage, which won the Pulitzer Prize in history.
Success is understanding the power of goals. From the moment President Kennedy took office, he implemented and executed both short-term and long-term goals. In his short term in office, he had accomplished more than most Presidents had in their complete terms.
Success is sharing and caring. President Kennedy established the Peace Corps in March 1961. Through this program many young Americans were encouraged to contribute their skills to “sharing in the great common task of bringing to man that decent way of life which is the foundation of freedom and a condition of peace.”
Success is understanding the importance of family. When President Kennedy was in office, the White House was reported to have seemed like a “fun place,” because of the Kennedy’s two young children, Caroline and John-John. There was a pre-school, a swimming pool, and a tree house outside on the White House lawn. President Kennedy was probably the busiest man in the country, but he still found time to laugh and play with his children.
Success is making informed decisions based on adequate information. President Kennedy read several newspapers while eating breakfast, had meetings with important people throughout the day, and read several reports from his advisers. He understood that better information led to better decisions.
Success is earning the admiration of others. John F. Kennedy was most admired for his winning personality, his lively family, his intelligence and his tireless energy, and people respected his courage in time of decision.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.whitehouse.gov, http://www.jfklibrary.org]
In the movie Parenthood, Gil (played by Steve Martin), with an obvious feeling of stress and frustration, comments on how chaotic his life is. His grandmother of advancing years begins to tell a story of how when she was younger, she loved the roller coaster because it goes up and down and was both frightening and exciting at the same time, whereas most other girls liked the merry-go-round that just goes round and round. Her point was clear: living the safe life without risk leads to a dull life without reward. It is the risk-takers that live their dreams and achieve success.
We have already seen that safety and security are right below physiological needs on Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. According to this need theory, the need for safety and security is greater than just about all of our other needs, including the desire for greatness or self-actualization. This means we generally avoid risk to protect our level of security. This avoidance of risk is a major limiting factor in one’s achievement of success.
Risk itself has many levels. For example, risking your money on a game of blackjack is not as wise as, say, risking your money on a carefully thought out business plan. The key is not avoiding risk, but limiting risk through careful thought and preparation. This is also known as taking calculated risks. Risk also comes in many forms. The world is full of brave and honorable public servants like police men and women, firefighters, and those in the military who will risk their lives for others in a heartbeat but would not even consider investing a few hundred dollars in a start-up business. If you consider yourself a risk-taker, ask yourself, are these risks you take bringing you any closer to your idea of success?
Here are some suggestions for taking more calculated, limited risks:
Do you want to spend your life going around in circles, or do you want the excitement and thrill of the roller coaster? Each of us is capable of so much more than we actually do. It is those who take the risks in life that realize their full potential.
How many times have you been guilty of saying “I don’t have time for that” or “There is not enough time in my schedule...” or a similar phrase stating that by some freak time-space continuum disruption you have been given fewer minutes in your hour, fewer hours in your day, or fewer days in your year than every other being on earth? Isn’t it true that what you really mean to say is, “I have chosen to spend my time on something else”? What a difference. The truth is, each of us chooses how to spend our time. You might be saying to yourself, “I HAVE to work, or my family doesn’t eat!” The reality is, you CHOOSE to work so your family can eat. It is without doubt that some choices do have some less than desirable options, but for the most part, it is a choice over which you have control. Avoiding the phrase “I don’t have time...,” will soon help you to realize that you do have the time needed for just about anything you choose to accomplish in life.
Not using the “I don’t have time...” statement will also disable those automated responses you give yourself and others, and force you to think of the real reason why you do not want to do something. For example, when the day passes by and I am still in front of the computer, my wife says, “Aren’t you working out today?” Rather than the “I don’t have time today—too busy” response, my thought process goes as follows:
“There is not enough ti.... wait a minute, the fact is I am too busy. Too busy doing what? Do I really have to get this done now? Is what I am doing so urgent that I can’t take a short break to exercise? Wouldn’t I have more energy to do this later if I took a break?”
And what ends up coming out of my mouth is, “Yes... thanks for reminding me!” So not only are the words different, but this will produce different results at times as well.
If someone tells you they don’t have time, ask them to elaborate or turn their answer into a question. Be sure you have a good rapport with the person or you may come across as obnoxious. Helping others to question their sometimes automated responses will often reveal the truth.
Remember the good ol’ days? It was a time when bread cost a nickel, people were kind to one another, and life seemed so simple. “Ah, the good ol’ days... if only life were like this today, then I would be happy and successful.” Right.
The concept of the “good ol’ days” must be one of our society’s biggest delusions, top reasons for depression, as well as most often used excuse for lack of success. It is the gloomy belief that the world is headed downhill, and life was “better” at some time in the past. Believers of this theory of gloom and doom make excuses for their lack of success by proclaiming, “if only...”
Here is a little-known fact: people tend to focus on past successes and current problems. To rephrase, our minds tend to remember our own past successes as well as past global successes made by society without acknowledging the failures. Our minds also tend to focus on our current problems, no matter how insignificant. When thinking about inflation, people tend to remember when bread cost a nickel but forget that they made only ten cents an hour. Or they think about how clean the air was before automobiles, but forget about not being able to walk on a city street without stepping in horse poop. As you can see, this creates a skewed or unfair perception of reality by seeing only the successes of the past and the problems of today.
When were the good ol’ days? Back in the days of colonial America where our “kinder” ancestors treated people as property? How about the early 20th century when polio was killing tens of thousands of children? The 1930s where Nazism was growing rapidly? The ’40s with WWII, the ’60s with the spread of drugs, the ’80s with cell phones the size of toasters? The truth is that the “good ol’ days” are today. It has been said, that which does not kill us, makes us stronger. As a global society, the same concept holds true: that which does not destroy us, makes us wiser and better. It is because of slavery we now have civil rights, it is because of the holocaust we have a deeper compassion for differences in the human race, and it is because of the Internet bust we have a more stable economy today.
Realize that the good ol’ days are today. The world is full of opportunities today that did not exist yesterday. Every day both science and technology improve allowing people to live longer, healthier lives. Information is readily available at the speed of light allowing us to expand our minds like never before in history. Embrace today as the best time in history, for there is no better time to pursue your dreams.
Imagine, if you will, a life free from financial obligations and concerns. No worries about not having enough money ever again, no desire for more money because you have everything you want that money can buy. Imagine spending the 8-16 hours a day you now spend working for money on living your dream, doing whatever fills the void inside and feeling completely fulfilled each day of your life. This is financial freedom.
All of us have heard the term “financial freedom” before. However, very few people ever take the time to comprehend its significance in life. Financial freedom is NOT the same as being rich, or having a lot of money. One can have billions of dollars and still not have financial freedom. This is one of the main reasons why those who have money are not always happy or successful.
Financial freedom is about not having to work for money and having enough money to maintain your ideal lifestyle. This means one does not have to be rich to be financially free. Theoretically, a family living on welfare checks that are completely content with their lifestyle has financial freedom, although technically broke. However, for most people, an “ideal lifestyle” includes much more than living off welfare checks.
With financial freedom comes an “enlightenment” that very few people are fortunate enough to experience. By fulfilling all your basic needs in life, your life focus can be on self-actualization or developing your full potential. This means something different to everyone, but in all cases it is a true discovery of yourself.
In an earlier lesson, we discussed making money work for you, rather than working for money. This is the key to financial freedom. Being free from your financial obligations means having a steady and reliable source of income that does not require your labor. The second part of financial freedom is defining your ideal lifestyle, which you should have done by now via the several life purpose and goal setting exercises. Once you understand the concept of having your money work for you and have defined your ideal lifestyle, you have taken a huge step toward your financial freedom.
Here are some more suggestions to help you reach financial freedom.
Many rich people are not financially secure and go through life with worry and fear of losing what they have. Being free from always needing more money is something that is very attainable by anyone with the right financial attitude and aptitude.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955) was the Nobel Prize winner in 1921 for physics.
Success is finding opportunity in rejection. In 1901 when Einstein received his diploma, he was unable to get a teaching post, so he accepted a position as a technical assistant in the Swiss Patent Office that allowed him a generous amount of spare time. He used this spare time to produce much of his remarkable work for which he is so well known today.
Success is knowing when to keep quiet. “If A is a success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut.”
Success is knowing how to persist. Einstein attributed much of his success not to his mathematical abilities, but his persistence. Said Einstein, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” • “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Success is imagination. “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Success is understanding the power of questions. “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” • “I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive.”
Success is the appreciation of occasional solitude. Einstein’s gifts inevitably resulted in his dwelling much in intellectual solitude and, for relaxation; music played an important part in his life.
Success is value. “Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.”
Success is not fearing mistakes. “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
Success is doing for others. In 1944, Einstein made a contribution to the war effort by hand writing his 1905 paper on special relativity and putting it up for auction. It raised six million dollars, the manuscript today being in the Library of Congress.
Success is dealing with criticism. At the time of the publication of the theory of relativity, the people who read the papers met them with skepticism and ridicule, and some even threatened him with death because of his beliefs.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.nobel.se, http://www.einstein-website.de]
One day out of curiosity I decided to take a McDonald’s® hamburger, remove the bun, take off the pickle, scrape off the condiments, and eat it (back in my beef eating days). Don’t ask me what motivated me to do this—perhaps it was just the natural curiosity of a 13-year-old. I’ll never forget the mad dash I took running to the bathroom thinking I was going to lose it. I did manage to keep the hamburger down, but that experience led me to a question that I would not find the answer to until years later: if McDonald’s® hamburgers taste so bad*, why are they the largest hamburger franchise in the world?
Let me ask you this, do you think you can make a better-tasting hamburger than McDonald’s®? Nine out of ten people answer an emphatic “yes” to that question. If you are one of them, then why don’t you own a multi-billion-dollar hamburger franchise? McDonald’s® is not the leader in mass produced processed carcasses because they have the best hamburger, but because they have the best business system.
McDonald’s® is where they are today because they make a fair tasting hamburger (providing you keep the bun and don’t scrape off the condiments), sell it for a good price, and really know how to run a business. It is not the product that makes the business, but more often, the business that makes the product.
One day at the mall, I bought my niece her “Happy Meal™” at McDonald’s®. Within seconds of ordering, our complete order was ready to go, on a tray with napkins, plasticware, and all. Before I could put my change in my pocket, the cashier was already helping the next guest. I thought to myself, “Wow... they really have an efficient system going here.” As I witnessed first hand, it was this efficient system that allowed them to service about twice as many customers in the same time frame as the other businesses could in the same food court.
Success in business is not always about having the best product; it is about creating the best possible business system that will market the product. Too often when faced with slow sales, business people immediately ask themselves, “How can we make our product/service better?” rather than, “How can we better market our product/service?” Product quality is very important, but it is not the determining factor for a business’ success.
This same principle holds true even if you do not own a business. Are the top people in companies always the smartest or best suited for the position? How many times have you thought, “I am sure I can do a better job than he can”? We each maintain our own “business system” which consists of the same basic components: being efficient in what we do and marketing ourselves. In the case of an individual, the individual is the “product.”
Before reevaluating your product or service, and spending big money on improving a product that customers are already happy with, ask yourself the following question, “Is the problem really with our product or service?” Remember that you can please some of the people some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time. Are you basing your opinion on a large enough percentage or just a vocal few? If your goal is to increase profits, then look at factors such as efficiency, negotiating better prices with suppliers, and automation. If your goal is to increase sales, then first look at your marketing and promotion.
You can have the best product in the world, but if no one knows about it, and you do not have an efficient business system in place to fill the demand for your product, then your business has a slim chance of success. Focus on the business of your product or service and success will follow.
* This is the opinion of the author, and it is not a proven fact that McDonald’s® hamburgers taste bad. In other words, McDonald’s® people... please don’t sue me.
What would you do with an extra hour a day? Learn a new language? Start a business? Write a book? Learn a new skill? If you have the motivation and desire to use this extra hour, it can be yours.
Most people are under the impression that they need “eight hours a day” of sleep because this is what they believe “the average person” requires. The fact is, each of us is different and requires different amounts of sleep. Many studies have been done on sleep and sleep disorders, only to conclude that there is no set standard number of hours of sleep per person.
Ironically, the symptoms of not getting enough sleep are very similar to those of getting too much sleep. So why not err on the side of not getting enough sleep and see what your body and mind are capable of? What if you found that with 5 hours of sleep per night, you were at your sharpest during the day with the least amount of drowsiness—and you slept better at night? What would you do with an extra three hours a day?
I have personally experienced sleeping patterns based on motivation—or my mental state. When I am motivated and highly involved in a project, I am awakened each morning around 4am with a burning desire to work on the project. During these times, my mind remains sharp, I have plenty of energy throughout the day, and I sleep like a baby at night—for about 6 hours each night. During times when I am less involved in projects, I sleep around 8 hours.
I have also found at times when I deprive myself of my required sleep, a mid-day, 15-30 minute “cat nap” in my desk chair does wonders for both my physical and mental state.
If there were ever a way to “buy more time,” this is it. However, time is not for sale; it is yours for the taking. What you need to give in return is passion and motivation to get up the extra hour or two earlier—getting up to do household chores won’t do. Give this a try by adjusting your body at a pace it can handle. Do this for the next 50 years, and you will add 2-3 years to your conscious life.
Too many people think to be successful you must “have it all”—the latest model car, best house, newest gadgets, etc. The fact is, “all” is an infinite amount that is just not possible to be had by any one person. Our time on this earth is too limited to be spent in the pursuit of things to be had. As the very insightful comedian Steven Wright once said, “You can’t have everything, where would you put it?”
An important step to true and lasting success is the realization that you don’t really want it all. Success is about enjoying what you have and where you are while pursuing achievable goals. It is like growing watermelons. You have to sacrifice some watermelons by cutting them off when small to give other watermelons a better chance to grow to full size. The same holds true for what you want in life. By focusing on a smaller number of goals and being passionate in your pursuit of those goals, you will find the achievement of the goals to be easier and more frequent.
It is the concept of wanting more that prevents many people from achieving success. Although they may be successful in the eyes of others, they do not see themselves as successful. Substitute gratitude for “it all.” Instead of having the newest model automobile, have gratitude and be appreciative for the car you do have.
Let’s examine a few of the more popular philosophies on “having it all.”
Where do we draw the line? On the one hand, to be successful we must set bold goals and strive to be the best we can be while enjoying the material possessions that motivate us. On the other hand, we must exchange many of our wants and desires for gratitude. I believe that if the wants and desires are truly ours, then they are worth pursuing. When we start creating wants and desires by other people’s standards of success, we set ourselves up for disappointment. I also believe that there is nothing wrong with wanting more as long as we can appreciate what we currently have. If we do not appreciate what we currently have, then “more” will not make us happier or bring us closer to success.
Start right now by adopting an “attitude of gratitude,” and realize your current successes and wealth. Continue to work for and be motivated by your wants and desires, realizing that you can have anything you want that you pursue with passion. By controlling your wants and desires, and having gratitude for what you do have, you are taking a big step upward on your ladder of success.
Gautama Buddha’s preaching was interrupted one day by a man unleashing a flurry of abusive invective. Calmly waiting for his critic to finish, Buddha asked, “If a man offered a gift to another, but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?” “To the one who offered it,” the man replied.
“Then,” Buddha declared, “I decline to accept your abuse and request that you keep it for yourself.”
Or as Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon), in the movie Superstar, so eloquently put it, “I am rubber, you are glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”
Buddha and Mary knew one of the main rules for accepting criticism: one does not have to accept it!
Criticism is essentially feedback, in which there are two parts: giving and accepting. In this lesson, we will discuss accepting criticism and how it can work toward our success.
The first rule of accepting criticism is understanding the motivation behind the criticism. Understanding this motivation helps you decide how valid the criticism is, and whether to accept it or not. Here are some of the more common reasons why people criticize.
The second rule of accepting criticism is choosing to accept it or not. Based on the motivation of the critic, do you think this criticism has merit? If so, how much merit does it have? Accepting criticism is using the criticism to better your work or performance. Rejecting the criticism is not letting the criticism affect your work, performance, or especially your attitude.
The third rule is responding to the criticism. This is where most people damage their reputations and good will by reacting to the criticism negatively. A response is reaction with thought. In this case, we have already thought about the motivation of the critic and chosen to accept it or not. No matter what our response is, it should be stated positively.
Why is accepting criticism so difficult? Here are some of the top reasons:
Critics often expect harsh reactions to their criticism, probably because that is the way most people respond. Not successful people. Shock your critics by thanking them for their feedback and if you choose to accept the criticism, share with them what way you plan on using their criticism. If your critics say things such as, “You suck!” or “Your work sucks!” don’t ignore it. Ask them to elaborate as to what about you or your work they dislike.
Criticism is an extremely valuable element to success. Since most success is based on providing something of value for others, it is important to value the opinions of others and change your actions based on good feedback. It is this feedback that helps us to achieve success.
Sources: Will and Ariel Durant, The History of Civilization; Harpers, Oct. 2002
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965) was one of the twentieth century’s most important figures, best known as Britain’s Prime Minister from 1940–1945 and 1951–1955.
Success is knowing that your past does not equal your future. Winston was known to be a willful and somewhat rebellious little boy. His teachers wrote in letters how difficult he was, one teacher even writing, “Very bad... is a constant trouble to everybody...”
Success is progress. “Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.”
Success is keeping your family life in order as well as your work. In 1908, Churchill married Clementine Hozier, which proved to be a long and happy marriage.
Success is knowing that effective communication is better than proper grammar. When corrected for using a preposition at the end of a sentence, Churchill gave the oft-quoted response, “This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.”
Success is viewing failure as temporary. Being human, in 1914, Churchill made an error in judgment that lead to the disastrous Gallipoli landings. This error cost Churchill his job as First Lord of the Admiralty and much of his good reputation. • “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
Success is having courage. “One ought never to turn one’s back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.” • “Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts.”
Success is being able to inspire others. Churchill’s role in World War II was mostly that of an inspiration. He is known today as one of the greatest speakers of the century.
Success is persistence. “We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire... Give us the tools and we will finish the job.”
Success is being optimistic. “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.nobel.se]
In kindergarten, it was the kids who threw clay out the window. In the fifth grade, it was the kids who skipped class. In high school, it was the kids who smoked, got drunk, and did drugs. Even in our adult lives, there are, and will always be, those people who unjustly influence the lives of others. This influence is known as peer pressure.
Peer pressure is a psychological force exerted by another, or others, in equal standing, which often influences one into acting or behaving in a manner that is generally inconsistent with one’s normal behavior. It is this influence that one can choose to accept or not accept. It is important to understand that no one, besides you, can control the direction of your life. We must take responsibility for the decisions we make in life.
All peer pressure is not always bad. It is certainly possible there can be pressure to “follow the crowd” to do homework and to get good grades. Or if you hang out with millionaires, there can be pressure to make millions of dollars. The key factor is thinking for yourself and doing what is consistent with your goals and life purpose.
Peer pressure is not something that only kids face. Throughout our entire lives, we deal with peer pressure. Some of the most destructive forms of peer pressure are those that cause us to “fall in line” by living a life of accomplishment far below what we are capable of, just because it is what our peers do. Giving into peer pressure as a child begins the life-long habit that keeps most people far away from success. As we know, it is never too late to change and break destructive habits.
Why do people give into peer pressure? The main reason, and the reason preached to most kids these days is the need for belonging. This is part of Abraham Maslow’s “love needs” which is right after safety needs, in the middle of the hierarchy. We all have a desire to fit in and to be accepted. However, one often looks for acceptance in groups that work against one’s achievement of success. It takes a leader to delay this need for belonging and reject the pressure. Soon, others will follow, and the need for belonging will be met.
Here are some other reasons why people give in to peer pressure, that are less known but equally as responsible.
People are often categorized as either leaders or followers. Be a leader. Think before you act and act on what you believe. Never allow others to influence your actions or behaviors without using your own mind and be consistent with your goals in life. Success often follows those who refuse to follow others.
When was the last time you said something such as, “I wish they would invent something to...” or “Somebody really should...” or “Why don’t they make something that...”? If you are like most people, you probably say these words on a regular basis. Who are “they”? Who is “somebody”? Why can’t the “they” and “somebody” be you?
One of the most common reasons people do not act on ideas is that they think somebody must have already thought of it. The chances are, somebody, even many others, have thought about it, but nobody has acted on it. Every fortune, large or small, started with an idea. Some of these ideas at one time were thought to be far fetched, silly, stupid, crazy, and even impossible. It was the inventor who had enough belief and determination to see the idea through into its physical equivalent.
Here are some more reasons people generally don’t act on ideas.
Here is my five-step idea process that I like to follow. Feel free to adopt mine or create your own. The goal of this process is to make sure we act on our ideas worthy of action.
It only takes one good idea to lead you to wealth. If you have 100 ideas a year and act on 10 of them and one results in wealth, you will have made it. It is not lack of knowledge or talent that keeps most people from wealth; it is the lack of persistence. You are just as capable of bringing a great idea to this world as Edison, Ford, and Gates. Act on your ideas, and wealth will eventually find its way to you.
There is a tool we have in communication that is so important, yet most people fail to make full use of this tool. It is called the question. Most people use questions for one purpose, to get information. This is a fine use of the question but certainly not the only use. Questions can be used in several ways in the art of communication. Those who use questions effectively will be more successful and influential communicators.
Did you know that most people mentally drift off during conversations, only half-listening to what the other person is saying? Did you know that I asked that question not to get information but to get attention? Questions have an incredible effect on bringing someone back from “la-la land.” People are conditioned to respond to questions so when they hear the tone of a question, their minds are once again focused on the communicator. These types of attention-getting questions are best used in speeches and lectures, especially as an opening statement.
Did you realize that in my last question, I shared some information with you? All questions get attention, but they can also serve other purposes at the same time. In this case, questions such as “did you know...” or “could you believe that...” share information with the reader/listener. These questions are used as a more powerful way to get information across since it causes the reader/listener to ask themselves the question and mentally answer it. This form of information sharing works very well but should not be abused. Information sharing questions are great for occasionally communicating important points.
How would you feel if you mastered the power of questions and were able to communicate any message effectively to anyone? How would this help you in your achievement of success? (dramatic pause...) These questions were asked to start you thinking, visualizing, and feeling emotion. The ability to communicate emotions rather than just words is a skill that very few people have. It is one of the most powerful skills of a successful communicator, and the question is one of the best ways to use this skill.
Let me ask you this: Once you’re rich and successful, will you still use questions for more than getting information? And thus we have the presumptive question. Notice the question is not will you become rich and successful, I have already assumed that as stated in the question. The question is about your plans on how you will use questions after you are rich and successful. The presumptive question is one of the favorite tricks of lawyers. It gives information that is to be accepted as fact while at the same time, soliciting information. The presumptive question is also a favorite used by people in sales. This is done by assuming that you are going to buy and asking a question such as, “Would you like that in green or blue?” In sales, presumptive questions make it more difficult for the prospect to say no since “no” is really not a proper answer to the question being asked (tip: a good response to the sales person using this technique on you is to ask back, “I see you like to ask presumptive questions. Why is that?”).
Now that you have been introduced to several powerful uses for questions, why not start using them today?
I could have ended the lesson there, but I would not get a chance to explain the use of the last question: to bring to a conclusion. Leaving readers/listeners with a question that sums up your points is a great way to end a speech or writing. Once again, it gets the attention of the listeners/readers and causes them to think. Ending this way can leave your audience with a powerful impression.
Summary of the effective uses of questions:
You have just found out that one of your subordinates at work made a costly mistake that may cost you your job. When you confront your subordinate about the mistake, he is obviously remorseful but you proceed to vent your frustration and say everything that is on your mind anyway. As a result, he quits, and several of his co-workers are now full of resentment toward you, and have lost respect for you. Productivity in your department is way down, and ironically, you are now at an even greater risk of losing your job, all due to your inability to criticize effectively.
In both our personal and professional lives, the ability to effectively deal with people is vital to building good character and to our success. The words “criticize” and “complain” by definition are very negative, and thus bring out negative emotions in both the giver and receiver. From this point forward, vow to no longer criticize or complain. Instead, give feedback.
We have already discussed why people criticize. These are the same general reasons why people complain as well. To review, the top reasons are:
We can break these reasons down into two even more general categories. 1) We criticize and complain so we can feel better and 2) we criticize and complain to bring about change in others. Now let’s examine both of these reasons more carefully.
Dale Carnegie once wrote, “We are creatures of emotion, not logic.” In this sense, we act and react based our emotions first, then logic second. This causes us to do and say things that “feel good” at the time but we often regret shortly after. How many times have you written a nasty e-mail only to rewrite it several times over, taking out all the harsh parts before actually sending it? Control your emotions and do not let your emotions control your actions without first filtering your emotions through your mind.
Do not allow yourself to become jealous, angered, or frustrated by another’s action. Practice understanding and empathy. Would you have done the same thing if you were in the other person’s same situation? What are the reasons why the other person did what they had done? Taking a few moments to gather the facts will help you to understand, and with that understanding comes compassion.
There are times when we want to bring about a change in another’s behavior. As parents we must discipline our children, as teachers we must correct our students, as managers we must direct our subordinates, and as customers we must do our best to get value from the service or product for which we are paying. It is neither harsh criticism nor complaints that bring about lasting changes; it is eloquent feedback that causes one to want to make lasting changes. For example, telling an employee that their performance is less than acceptable, and they’d better change or they will be out of a job, will most likely persuade the employee to change, but not for a positive reason. This change will most likely be done with resentment and ill feelings, and will last only a short time.
There are two main reasons why one should neither criticize nor complain. First, criticism causes the person being criticized to feel resentment. When you criticize another’s actions or behaviors, especially in a negative way, it arouses feelings of anger and resentment in most people. This resentment is one of the most powerful relationship-killers there is. Second, criticism causes the person being criticized to justify his or her actions. It is a natural response for one to become defensive when being criticized. The most common form of defense is justification. When one justifies one’s actions, they are convincing themselves even more that they are right. This brings the parties further from resolution.
There will be times when you feel that criticisms and complaints are necessary. Ask yourself first, what do I plan on accomplishing by criticizing? Very often the real answer will be “so I can feel better,” in which case, the criticism or complaint is not necessary. If you wish to bring about a change in another’s behavior, then you must practice the art of changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment (discussed in detail later in this course). Or if you just wish to give feedback, do so in a way that leaves an overall positive impression.
Criticisms and complaints lead to resentment and ill feelings that rarely bring about positive, lasting changes. Learn to control your emotions by practicing understanding and having empathy. By avoiding criticizing and complaining, you will be better respected in both your personal and professional relationships.
Jerry Seinfeld (1954–) is a comedian and television actor in his long-running series “Seinfeld.”
Success begins with an interest. Seinfeld became fascinated by comedians as a child while watching them on television and realizing their entire job was to make people laugh. He developed a keen interest in performing while in college. He graduated with a bachelor’s degree in communications and theater.
Success is often about rough beginnings. Jerry began his career working in New York comedy clubs, often without pay, while holding a number of odd jobs.
Success is knowing that persistence pays off. After much time in the comedy circuit, Jerry got his first big break when comedic legend Rodney Dangerfield saw his act and invited him to feature on his HBO special.
Success is having others believe in you. In the early days of Jerry’s career, another comedic legend, Jackie Mason, caught his act and told Jerry, “It makes me sick. You’re going to be such a big hit.” These inspiring words stayed with Jerry for years.
Success is the result of an earlier failure or unfortunate event. Jerry appeared in several episodes of TV’s “Benson.” The producers of the show did not agree on his character development so they “let him go.” This was so devastating to Jerry that he vowed never to do a sitcom again unless he had more control. That vow led him to partner with his friend Larry David to create one of the most successful sitcoms of all time.
Success is not accepting failure. The pilot for “Seinfeld” did not test well, in fact NBC “hated” it. However, with persistence, it began with a very slow season, followed by a much better one.
Success is doing what you love, despite the money. After almost a decade, Seinfeld called it quits at the pinnacle of his sitcom. Despite the many lucrative TV and movie offers, Jerry went back to stand up, once again, touring the local New York clubs and often performing for free.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.jerryseinfeld.us ]
In my four years of high school and four years as an undergraduate (okay, four and a quarter), the idea that I had the choice of starting my own business, or working for myself in some other way, was mentioned but a few times. As a student, the traditional approach of “study hard, get good grades, find a good job” was hammered into our brains over and over. What appears to be good, solid advice is the same advice that is creating a society of dependent and financially insecure adults.
What if.... what if we ALL followed this “sound” advice? Who would create the jobs that we are all seeking? There are only so many government jobs, and even those have to be created by someone. We would rely on the jobs that are currently available, which by attrition, would eventually decrease. The jobs that are available would be more and more competitive which would result in higher unemployment. Does this sound familiar?
Why is getting a job sold as a “better” option than creating a job for oneself?
There is more to creating a job than just securing your own financial future. Bill Gates chose to create a job for himself rather than join the existing workforce. As a result, his company, Microsoft, employs more than 99,000 people (as of 2013) in 72 countries, not to mention the number of jobs and opportunities it has created indirectly. This comes back to one of my favorite “keys to success” by Zig Ziglar, who says, “You can get what you want by helping enough other people get what they want.”
There are numerous benefits to employment as well. Without employees, companies could not operate. There will always be those who prefer the path of employment and employers are grateful for that. However, let’s have a little more faith in our youth and at least introduce them to the option of creating jobs rather than taking them. It is the entrepreneurs that create opportunity and is our duty to do our best to create a better world for the next generation.
On the streets, for every economically disadvantaged person begging for money there are several people who help out by giving change. At home, for every dependent adolescent there is a loving parent catering to the child’s every need. In business, for every needy employee there is a caring manager just trying to help. There is an old saying by Lao Tzu, the father of Taoism, which says “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” Too often in life we ask for fish, and too often others give fish away. Within Mr. Tzu’s statement lie two keys to success.
Key number one: we must seek instruction over temporary assistance. An ambitious young gentleman knocked on the door to my home several years back. He was selling magazines through a company that “teaches economically disadvantaged young adults communication and business skills to help achieve success.” Needless to say, I had a great talk with the gentleman. Before we parted ways, and after I confirmed he had access to the Internet, I told him I would not be buying any subscriptions (I had no need or desire for magazine subscriptions, and any purchase would have simply been a handout), but I would be doing much more for him. I reached into my pocket and gave him one of my YearToSuccess.com cards, which has no other information besides, “YearToSuccess.com - Are You Ready for It?.” By the look on his face, I could see that he was disappointed, yet a bit curious. He may have thrown the card away, or he may have actually joined Y2S, I may never know. It is not always easy to accept instruction over more temporary, yet immediately gratifying forms of assistance, but in our quest for success, we must seek the instruction and graciously accept it.
Key number two: we must offer instruction rather than temporary assistance. I am personally guilty of “giving away fish.” When I sold my web hosting company in 2001, my wife and I gave away a significant amount of money to family and employees in the company. Just two years later, many of those to whom we gave the money were no better off financially than they were before the gift, and several were actually in a worse financial situation. Why? How could giving somebody a significant amount of money hurt his of her financial situation? There are actually many reasons such as poor spending habits, living beyond one’s means, and having a false sense of security. However, I believe the main reason is that giving someone money, or other material goods, hampers their desire to seek a permanent solution to improving their financial situation. The same holds true for doing anything for anyone where, with a little knowledge and persistence, they can do for themselves.
“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” Spend your life learning to fish, and teaching others how to fish, and you will sow and reap the seeds of success.
John Donne, English metaphysical poet from the late 16th century, once said, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main...” As an employer, husband, and father, I can truly appreciate the concept behind this truth. No man (or woman, as it is PC to say in the 21st century) is alone in this world. We have others on whom we can depend to help us achieve success. However, before we can depend on others, we should set an example by first understanding and practicing one of the principles of success: do what you say you are going to do, and do it when you say you are going to do it.
Dependability is a characteristic more often used to describe cars than people. Having others depend on us gives us a healthy dosage of importance that is good for our self-esteem. Doing what we say we are going to do, when we say we are going to do it, builds character that is admired by parents, teachers, spouses, peers, employers, and especially customers. It is the dependable children that get more independence, it is the dependable student that gets the better grades, it is the dependable employee that gets the promotions, and it is the dependable business that gets the customers.
Dependability, just as any other quality, is a learned behavior that can be improved with practice. Here are some tips on how to become more dependable.
What happens when you just can’t deliver? Despite your best efforts, you find yourself not being able to do what you said, or do it by the promised time. Here are some suggestions:
Do what you say you are going to do, and do it when you say you are going to do it. As leaders, we must set good examples for those who follow us. Imagine if everybody followed this rule of success, what a world it would be!
I remember sitting around with my friends, back in elementary school, talking about money. We would all talk about how great it would be to have lots of money and even discuss ideas on how to start making money. We talked about making wooden novelties in my Dad’s workshop and selling them door-to-door, trading and selling baseball cards, starting a leaf-raking business and more. The subject of money got us excited and started our pre-teen creative juices flowing. As the years went by, we spoke less and less of money until our adult lives when it became a taboo subject. What happened?
By most adults’ standards of etiquette, money is a subject that should not be discussed openly among friends or other peers. Why? For most people, in their adult lives, money is an unpleasant subject. This is because they don’t have enough of it. In fact, one of the top reasons married couples argue is because of financial difficulties and other strains that lack of money both directly and indirectly cause. Since it is generally not considered good etiquette to discuss any subject that makes others feel uncomfortable or even depressed, the subject of money has become taboo.
If you are one of the people who is uncomfortable talking about money, then change your associations. Talking about money openly, especially with those who have more of it than you do, will allow you to grow in your financial thinking. We can learn more from our friends and peers than we could by reading books from the top financial advisors. When you think about money, think about all the good you can do with it, for yourself, your family and those you’ve never even met. Think about how exciting it would be to have more of it, allowing you more time to do what you are passionate about. This is how you associate money with empowering feelings.
Find a group of your peers that you can discuss the subject of money with who are comfortable talking about it with you. Realize that by avoiding the subject, you are doing nothing to improve your financial education. Don’t be afraid to share your financial successes and failures with others. As we help others learn, we grow ourselves.
Warren Buffet (1930–) is known as perhaps the greatest investor ever to live. He became the world’s richest person by sticking to common sense principles in stock market investing.
Success has much to do with aptitude. Warren displayed an amazing aptitude for money and business at a very early age. At age 6, Warren bought six-packs of soda for 25 cents and resold the cans individually for 5 cents each, making a respectable 20 percent profit.
Success is learning patience. At eleven years old, Warren purchased three shares of Cities Service Preferred at $38 per share, which quickly dropped to $27 per share. Although he was an emotional wreck, he held on to the stock until it rebounded to $40 per share, at which time he quickly sold. The stock then shot up to $200 per share and Warren learned early the importance of patience.
Success is realizing the insignificance of rejection. When Warren was persuaded to apply to Harvard Business School, he was rejected because he was “too young.” Warren then applied to Columbia where famed investors Ben Graham and David Dodd taught—an experience that would forever change his life.
Success is overcoming your fears. Warren knew the importance of public speaking; however, he admitted to having an “intense fear” of it. Instead of fearing it, Warren decided to do something about it. He enrolled in Dale Carnegie’s public speaking course and conquered his fear.
Success is learning from your work. One of Warren’s mentors, a respected investor, offered Warren a job, which he accepted. During this time of employment, Warren learned what he needed to know about investing to become a stock market billionaire.
Success is having goals. Since 1957, Mr. Buffet has far exceeded his initial goal of beating the Dow Jones Industrial Average by 10%.
Success is creatively negotiating. When making Ken Close president of one of his companies, he felt that it would be unfair to the stockholders to award Mr. Close a stock option, on which Mr. Close insisted. Instead, Buffet proposed to co-sign an $18,000 loan that Mr. Close then used to buy his own stocks. Mr. Buffet created a win-win situation.
Success is sticking with what works. When asked by a friend why he doesn’t invest in real estate, Warren replied, “Why should I buy real estate when the stock market is so easy?”
Success is believing in yourself even when the facts are against you. Warren Buffet’s philosophy is and always has been to allocate capital into great businesses that are selling below intrinsic value. However, with the Internet boom, his firm was making very nominal gains while other investment firms were making their clients millionaires. Buffet’s clients, and the media began to believe Buffet had lost his touch. As Buffet expected, the market did eventually correct itself, and while millions of “on paper” millionaires lost everything virtually overnight, Buffet’s clients remained wealthy.
[Sources: http://www.surferess.com, http://www.askmen.com]
There is an age-old piece of wisdom passed from generation to generation that essentially says if you want something, save your money and buy it. We hear it all the time today. Phrases such as “I am saving up for...” or “saving for a rainy day.” To save is wise, however, the way most people save is not. Most people see their income, and income potential, as limited. Thus, the only way to start saving money is to cut back on spending. There is a better way—make more money.
When you save money by “cutting back,” you are working with very limited resources. For example, if you make $50K per year and have $10K per year as “disposable income,” this is essentially all you can possibly save. Also when you save by cutting back, you are, in practical terms, reducing your quality of lifestyle. Giving up the little luxuries in life can be damaging to your self-esteem and positive mental attitude. By making more money, you are increasing your net worth, forcing yourself to think creatively and discover new opportunities, and continuing to spend your extra money on those luxuries in life that we all enjoy so much. Most of all, you are proving to yourself that your income potential is not limited and was not maxed out.
There are many ways you can use an extra source of income as savings versus cutting back. Here are a few ways:
Realize that your income potential is unlimited, even if your boss tells you otherwise. You are in business for yourself no matter who signs your paycheck. Use your labor, skills, and/or creativity to increase your income to save for the things you desire in life that cost money.
One of the easiest ways to immediately increase your income is by asking for a raise. Many people underestimate their value and accept the standard pay schedule set by the organization for which they work. Rule number one in asking for a raise is to make sure you are doing more than what is written in your job description and/or do it better than most others in the same position. If you are only doing what you are getting paid for, and doing it no better than the average employee, then your pay is most likely right where it should be.
Here are some questions to ask yourself before asking for a raise. The answers to these questions can help you determine your approximate worth to the organization where you work.
Once you are convinced that you deserve a raise, it is time to ask for it. Follow these guidelines carefully and at the very least, you will be more appreciated and respected for what you do.
Asking for a raise is not that difficult if you feel you truly deserve it. Make sure you are doing more than is expected of you and doing it better than the average employee. Be confident and courteous in your request, state your request correctly, and you will greatly improve your chances of getting the raise you deserve.
The word “integrity” is probably the most overused and most misunderstood word on resumes. So many people use it, but very few actually know what it means. By definition, integrity means “a steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.” Whose moral or ethical code? Your parents’? The Catholic church’s? Your friend’s? Having integrity is doing what is consistent with your beliefs, and living by the moral or ethical code you have chosen to adopt. All too often individuals will say things they believe others want to hear, rather than saying what they believe. An example is the single guy who will say anything and everything to get that first date. Having integrity is about being and acting as the real you.
I believe one cannot be truly successful without integrity. Without integrity, one can have the appearance of success or even short-term success. However, acting without integrity will lead to guilt, which will eventually lead to a self-destruction of one’s temporary successes. Acting without integrity has even been linked to physical illnesses such as nausea and headaches. It is the desire for short-term gain or immediate gratification that usually causes one to act without integrity, however, the damage it does to one’s self-esteem, cancels out any short-term gain.
Integrity is one of the easiest qualities to detect, or detect the lack of, in people you know well. When you know someone well, you are familiar with the actions they have taken in the past and are able to detect inconsistencies. It is these inconsistencies that are usually the result of acting without integrity. When you do act with integrity, others feel as if they can trust you because your actions are more predictable. If they know your beliefs, they can anticipate your behavior and count on you. Integrity is one of the most sought after qualities by parents, employers, and customers.
Do you have integrity? Let’s take the classic wallet test. Answer this question to yourself and be completely honest. You find a wallet on the street filled with about $500 in cash, credit cards, drivers license and other cards. What do you do? Do you
Now, how would you answer this question if asked by a reporter on national TV? If your answer was the same for both questions, you have integrity. Yes, even if your answer was C. Integrity is about doing what is consistent with your beliefs, no matter what they are. If, by the way, your answer was anything but D, you may want to take some time to review your beliefs.
Here are some integrity-building suggestions:
If you are one who will do “whatever it takes” to succeed, you have the right attitude and certainly the spirit. Just realize that to succeed you must act with integrity at all times and your beliefs must not only be empowering, but they must be ones that do not cause harm to others. Dwight D. Eisenhower said it best, “The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.”
Welcome to day 135. You are over four months into this course and have no doubt been exposed to some valuable information on the achievement of success. Through the use of education, inspiration, and action, it is my goal to see to it that you turn this information into knowledge. However, knowledge itself won’t get you much more than a new microwave on a game show perhaps. Knowledge is only potential power. It is knowledge, followed by action and persistence that is true power. It is up to you, and no one else, to use the knowledge you have to produce lasting results.
Think about all of the facts, dates, names, formulas, games, and more you learned going through school. How much of it do you actually remember? If you are like the rest of us, you remember very little. What you do remember is mostly the “important” information such as how to read, write, do basic math, communicate and get along with others. In all the years of schooling that followed your first few years, you built upon this knowledge by putting it to use on regular basis, making it second nature. In fact, any knowledge followed by action and persistence, is stored in your subconscious mind, allowing you to use that information without consciously thinking about it. As an example, when you ride a bike, you do not think about turning, pedaling, balancing, or braking, this is all automatic; it is knowledge that you have previously followed with action and persistence and committed to your subconscious memory. Once it is there, you shouldn't have to “re-learn” the information again.
Use the information in this course. Put it to use in your daily life. The first few times you use a new piece of knowledge, you will need to put some effort and conscious thought into the process. However, you will soon find that conscious thought is no longer necessary. Just as the law of atrophy applies to the physical body, it applies to the mind and the information within it as well. Keep using it, and you won’t lose it.
George Foreman (1949–) is a businessman, entertainer, preacher, writer, and professional boxer—the oldest boxer to ever win the world championship (at age 45).
Success is understanding that lack of education does not have to mean lack of success. Foreman dropped out of junior high school and reverted to a life of petty theft, before joining the U.S. Job Corps in 1965.
Success often sprouts from unfortunate events. While in the Job Corps, Foreman was on the verge of expulsion due to his belligerent attitude. Foreman’s supervisor saw promise in George’s physical strength and began training George to become a boxer. Foreman eventually would make boxing history.
Success is knowing your own weaknesses. “I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don’t fight, I’ll eat this planet.”
Success often stems from turning points. In 1977, Foreman experienced a self-proclaimed religious awakening, immediately retired from boxing, and was ordained a minister. Foreman then established his own church, counseled prisoners, and some years later, started the George Foreman Youth and Community Center.
Success is not always about winning. In 1991, the 40-year-old Foreman lost a bout for the championship title by decision against Evander Holyfield but gained a wealth of respect from the boxing industry for his remarkable comeback.
Success is doing the “impossible.” At age 45, George Foreman regained the heavyweight title in a dramatic victory over the 26-year-old Michael Moorer. Today, Foreman is known for being the oldest heavyweight boxing champion in history.
Success is found in a strong family life. George and his wife, Mary, have ten children: five boys and five girls. Of which, by the way, all the boys are also named “George.” This odd naming convention has nothing to do with success; I just thought it was pretty funny.
Success is knowing the destructive power of negativity. “That’s my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck’s back. If it’s not positive, I didn’t hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy.”
Success does not have to change who you are. “It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting my feet; cars that I just parked, and the dust would just build up on them.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.healthy-grill.com]
Nowadays, when most people hear the word “networking” they think of interconnected computers or getting their computer connected to the Internet. Long before the advent of the Internet, and even before computers, there was another type of networking; the type where one interacts or engages in informal communication with others for mutual assistance or support. This form of networking is responsible for the success of many individuals and businesses today.
Throughout history, fortunes have been made by people who got their first big break by “a friend of a friend” or other similar contact. These contacts were generally made by networking. By networking with others, you are benefiting in two ways: 1) you are introducing your product or service to another and 2) you are being introduced to others who offer products and services that you may someday require. Additionally, many people use networking to form partnerships or alliances in business. It is a great way to meet like-minded people with the same goals. Networking is a true win-win situation.
Prior to the Internet, networking was almost all done face to face. However, with today’s technology networking can be done virtually without having to leave the comfort of your own home. The Internet is full of discussion groups, chat rooms and organizations whose members join for the sole purpose of networking with others. Virtual networking is a great complement to traditional networking but should not be the only source of networking. There is something about face-to-face contact that cannot be achieved by virtual networking.
Here are some tips for effective networking:
It is that one contact that often begins one’s unstoppable series of successes. We, of course, cannot always know who that contact will be, but we can play the numbers game and network with as many people as possible. It is through networking one finds opportunity and through opportunity one finds success.
Back in 1995, when I had a graphic design business, I wanted to use the Internet to share designs with customers. At the time, however, there were only a few “companies” offering web hosting. The first company I went with took my money and ran; the second company’s server was only up for about 3 hours a day; and the third company’s server was so complex, it took me hours just to upload a photo and make some basic edits to a web page. Out of total frustration, I committed the next six months of my life to learn all I could about Internet programming and hosting so I could do it myself, the right way. This was the beginning of Adgrafix, the company that I would eventually sell for 20 million dollars.
Frustration is such a powerful feeling that we automatically determine it to be negative. We call it negative because it generally does not make us feel very good. Frustration is the feeling that accompanies the experience of being thwarted in attaining your goals. This feeling, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success. Frustration is energy that can be positive or negative, depending on what you do with it. Misdirected frustration wasted on cursing, taking it out on others or kicking the computer is like running the air conditioner with all the windows open—a complete waste of energy.
Why should we welcome frustration, a feeling that is almost always painful? Here are a few main reasons:
There are two primary ways to harness the power of frustration and use it as positive energy. The first way is to release the frustration physically. Frustration is a powerful motivator for exercise. Running and lifting weights are ways to use the frustration to help burn calories and get in shape, although unlikely to relieve the frustration. The second primary way to harness the power of frustration is to release it mentally. This is the sometimes agonizing process of changing actions and behaviors, searching for alternatives, and just pure perseverance. However, it is this process that led to many of the greatest achievements in history.
Frustration is not bad. It may not feel too good at the time, but once you understand the power of frustration and the incredibly positive effects it can have, you will begin to use frustration to your advantage by bringing yourself closer to success. So next time you are about to kick the computer, kick a heavy bag instead or better yet, kick-start your mind and turn frustration into success.
Do you know that person at the party who is constantly rambling on about him or herself, not giving anyone else a chance to speak? We all know that person, and the chances are many of us ARE that person. We may not realize it, but others sure do. It was Dale Carnegie who said, over 80 years ago, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Expressing sincere interest in others is one of the key elements of human relations. By expressing sincere interest in one’s appearance, qualities, history, stories, hobbies, work, family, or anything else closely related to that person, you are giving that person a sense of importance and well-being.
It seems almost natural that when you express interest in others they will express interest in you. People who are interested in you, become more interesting to you. It is a principle in psychology that has been known for centuries. This law applies relationships of any kind.
For most of us, most of the time, expressing interest in others is not difficult. Casual conversation usually leads to questions that one can ask about another, leading them to talk more about their interests or about themselves. However, at times it can be challenging to “force” yourself to express sincere interest in others. Expressing interest without sincerity is the same as patronizing. Here are some suggestions on how to express sincere interest in others.
Remember that everyone is your superior in some way, and you can learn something from everyone if you just ask the right questions and do more listening than talking. As one who appreciates the value of learning, it should be easy to be able to express your sincere interest in others. When you do this, you will find yourself closer to success due to your improved relationships.
How many green cars did you see the last time you were on the road? Chances are, green cars were all around you but you did not “see,” or at least did not notice, any. Why not? Because you were not looking for green cars. Opportunity is the same way. It is all around us, every day of our lives. Since most people are not looking for opportunity, they just don’t “see” it. The key is to find opportunity and do not wait for opportunity to find you.
Opportunity is defined as a favorable or advantageous circumstance or combination of circumstances. As expected, the definition is subjective. What is “favorable”? What is “advantageous”? Optimists see most situations as favorable or advantageous where pessimists rarely see themselves in favorable or advantageous situations. So who do you think will have more opportunity, the optimist or the pessimist?
Fortune and success are found in opportunity. One can go back through history and trace the beginning of any fortune or success and find that it was a result of acting on opportunity. The greater the opportunity, the greater the chance of success. One who seeks opportunity asks about every setback, “What good can come out of this?” The opportunity seeker capitalizes and excels where others remain stagnant.
To act on opportunity, you must be flexible, open-minded, motivated, and willing to take risks. You must choose which opportunities you will take action on while passing on less promising opportunities. As an active opportunity seeker, this will be your most difficult task since letting go of a good opportunity is not easy. You need to balance out your opportunities and be decisive on which ones you will pursue, which ones you will delegate, and which ones you will bypass.
Think creatively. The creative thinker sees opportunity where others do not. In 1904, an ice cream vendor named Charles Menches ran out of dishes while selling ice cream at a state fair. None of the other vendors would sell him any plates out of jealousy and greed, figuring they would get more business. Nearby was a stand where his friend was selling a Middle Eastern, crisp, wafer-like pastry treat called Zalabia. “Give me Zalabia!” cried Menches. He rolled up the Zalabia, scooped his ice cream on top, and the ice cream cone was born. This creative thinking allowed Charles Menches to see opportunity where most others would only see disaster—it also made him quite wealthy!
Here are a few suggestions on where you can find opportunity:
Opportunity is all around us. It is constantly knocking, but most people aren’t listening. Finding opportunity is a learned skill that can be developed with practice. The key is to be looking for it.
Raymond Albert Kroc (1902-1984) was the founder of the McDonald’s Corporation; the company that changed the eating habits of the world (for better or worse).
Success is often a result of a decision made in the past. Approximately 17 years prior to founding McDonald’s Corporation, Ray Kroc mortgaged his home and invested his life savings in a product called the “Multimixer” in which he strongly believed. It was because of this product he came across the McDonald brothers’ hamburger chain and became a partner.
Success is knowing that your best years are still ahead of you, despite your age or current problems. Said Ray Kroc about the time he started McDonald’s Corporation, “I was 52 years old. I had diabetes and incipient arthritis. I had lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland in earlier campaigns, but I was convinced that the best was ahead of me.”
Success is changing your goals when needed and acting on opportunity. Ray Kroc’s initial intention was to open up additional stores for Dick and Mac McDonald so he could send eight of his Multimixers to each store. That goal quickly was abandoned when Ray realized the opportunity he had with franchising these hamburger restaurants.
Success is taking calculated risks. In 1961, Ray bought out the McDonald brothers for $2.7 million cash, using borrowed money, which with the interest, eventually cost him $14 million. As time proved, this was still one of the century’s greatest bargains.
Success is being dedicated to strict standards. Ray was committed to providing customers with consistent quality, service, cleanliness, and value.
Success is not about the money. “If you work just for money, you’ll never make it,” Ray Kroc said, “but if you love what you’re doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours.”
Success is leadership. Under Ray Kroc’s leadership, McDonald’s® set standards against which other chains were measured.
Success is spotting trends. Perhaps Ray Kroc’s greatest asset was the ability to spot trends. He knew almost instinctively that the fast food, eat-and-run craze would only continue to grow as Americans, and other people in the world adapted to a more hectic lifestyle.
Success is being an expert salesperson. Ray Kroc was best known as a master salesperson. It was with his sales skills that he transformed a small chain of eight restaurants into perhaps the largest, most well-known franchise in the world.
[Sources: http://www.media.mcdonalds.com, http://www.biography.com]
I do not have many pet peeves; in fact, peeves do not make very good pets. One I do have is people who work with me isolating themselves from rest of the team or organization by using words such as “I,” “me,” or “mine,” and assuming credit or ownership of that which belongs to the team or organization. For example, we once had a system administrator who would constantly refer to our servers as “his” servers. This annoyed me a bit, considering I was the one who paid in excess of $5000 per server, but it also isolated the rest of the members of our team who all had a piece of ownership in our company.
One of the biggest business faux pas one can make is taking credit for a team effort. Taking credit does not have to be telling others that you did all the work; it can be as simple as making an assumptive statement using the word “I” instead of “we.” Even when you are working on behalf of a company, it is admirable to share the glory of your work and successes with the other members of the organization by using words such as “we,” “us” and “ours.” This says much for your character.
By simply using plural pronouns, you can make others feel more of a part of what the organization is doing. This gives the others in the organization a feeling of importance that leads to motivation, increased productivity, and greater self-confidence. It encourages participation and feedback and creates an environment for learning and growth.
Here are a few suggestions in the art of using pronouns to empower:
Use caution when using pronouns in the workplace. A childhood habit of selfishness can develop into a bad habit that keeps success at a distance when you are an adult. Pronouns can also be used as tools to empower and motivate. Choose your words wisely.
It was not until recently that I realized firsthand what a crucial part health played in success. I started having debilitating head pains almost daily. When this pain started, I would just have to isolate myself and put up with the pain for anywhere from 15 minutes to several hours. This excruciatingly painful phenomenon that lasted six long weeks was diagnosed by neurologists to be cluster headaches. To my own surprise, I was not depressed or even down during this time. My eyes were opened by a new appreciation of life and health. During those six weeks, when I was not experiencing the pain, I started to experience appreciation and gratitude like never before.
Health is not just the absence of disease or illness; it is the presence of vitality. It is the lifelong process of prevention and commitment to wellness. If you really thought about it, you could think of something that is physically bothering you right now. Very often, minor discomforts are blocked by our reticular activating system in our brain, which filters out all that is not important to us at any given moment. This ability of our minds to block discomfort is the same ability that prevents us from appreciating all the times we do not feel discomfort. This causes us to take our health for granted.
At the time of the headaches, I came to a realization: there are times when we cannot control what happens to us health-wise—it just happens. There are also so many ways we can take control of our health and live a healthy lifestyle. So why not do whatever is in our power to live the healthiest lifestyle possible? Then, when fate (God, destiny, chance—call it what you will, just do not call it bad luck!) comes knocking on our door, our bodies, minds and spirits will be better equipped to manage or solve any health problem that comes our way.
Several years ago my cousin, who was seriously involved in bodybuilding at the time, was in a fatal car crash that instantly killed the driver and two other passengers in the car. My cousin, who was sitting in the passenger’s seat, walked away with a minor concussion and some scratches. The doctors told us that because he was in such great physical shape, he is alive today.
Health does play a crucial part in success. The absence of our health allows us to experience appreciation and gratitude on a whole new level. The presence of health allows us to live a more productive, pain-free life enabling us to get more enjoyment out of life. Being healthy is feeling good about yourself, knowing that you are taking care of your most valuable asset—yourself.
Unless you are living in a bubble somewhere, there will be times when you have to deal with illness. Here are some suggestions to keep you on the road to success at times of illness.
Remember that health is not just the absence of illness, it is the presence of vitality. Here are some suggestions to help you reach and maintain your ideal level of health while enjoying life to the fullest.
Most people’s definition of success includes some level of health. It is very difficult to enjoy anything, including success, if your mind is continuously focused on your illnesses, pain, heartburn, lethargy, and/or the extra 20 pounds of fat you are carrying around with you. You have full control over many aspects of your health, so take control of what you can today and live with vitality.
One of my favorite all-time recurring characters on Saturday Night Live is the “grumpy old man” played by Dana Carvey. Dana does his impression of an 80-year-old man who is angry at the world. This character represents a man who never let go of a lifetime of grudges, resentment, and hate. While Dana’s portrayal of this character is very funny, it is a sad truth that the world is full people just like this, both male and female, of all ages.
Let it go. Three little words that mean so much in the pursuit of happiness. These words apply to grudges, resentment, hate, fear, and any other negative, self-destructive feeling or emotion. One of my favorite movie lines is from Get Shorty, where John Travolta plays a tough, but very likable “wiseguy” named Chili Palmer. Just after the scene where he escapes death after fighting on a roof, Karen asks Chili if he is scared. He replies, “I was.” “You’re not anymore?” asks Karen. Chili responds, “How long do you want me to be scared for?”
We already know that it is only possible for our brains to focus on one thing at a time. While we are focusing on fear, worry, or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love. As time passes, we seem to hold on to more and more of these negative feelings and emotions. When we do this, our lives become consumed with negativity, and the innocence of youth is gone.
Let it go. You certainly do not need to sabotage your own happiness and success by holding on to negative emotions. You can choose to move on, forgive and forget, and once again focus on the more positive and empowering emotions. Here are some suggestions on how you can “let it go.”
Let it go. We only come around this way once and our time on this earth is precious. We can choose to live in happiness or misery. Focus your mental energy on your life purpose and goals rather than the negative emotions that suck the enjoyment from life. Enjoy your life to the fullest—you deserve it.
High self-confidence and success are often directly related. As you become more and more successful, your self-confidence increases, sometimes to the point where you believe you are right in just about everything you do and say. Very often, you may be right, but when you are wrong, and you project a cocky attitude, others will be all over you for it.
What if, through careful use of words, you could always be right and never be wrong again? How would that help you in your personal life? How about your professional life? This technique is not a magic one that will make you smarter, but it is simply a communication technique that can help you to articulate your beliefs and opinions better and make it impossible for others to disagree with you. See if you can disagree with these statements:
I believe the sky is green.
In my opinion, people from Boston smell like donuts.
You may know, or at least you may think you know, that the sky is blue. You may have never smelled donuts on people from Boston, but you cannot say that those statements are wrong. Why? Because the statements use words that express opinion or belief, which, assuming one is not lying, cannot be wrong. For example, the person making the first statement is not saying the sky is green, they are saying they believe the sky is green. You can certainly question their belief and even present them with facts in order to change their belief, but you cannot say that they are wrong for their belief.
Stating beliefs, opinions, or facts you are unsure of (thus they are beliefs) in a way that makes it obvious it is your belief or opinion, versus stating a belief or opinion as a fact, is a habit of successful communicators. Here are some reasons why this is such an important technique:
The key to this technique is 1) knowing the difference between a fact and your opinion or belief and 2) knowing how to state your opinion or belief as an opinion or belief. Begin by asking yourself, “Can this statement be reasonably argued?” For example, if you are holding a pen you can, with certainty, say, “I am holding a pen.” However, if the lighting is poor, can you say with certainty that the pen is dark blue? Is it possible it is black? Or even maroon? When unsure of a fact or expressing a belief or opinion use phrases such as:
I believe
I feel
I think
It is my understanding that
In my opinion
I could be wrong, but
Using words and phrases such as “can,” “may,” “it’s possible that,” “it’s one of,” “at times,” etc., has similar benefits, but can also be argued with. For example:
It is possible that men have never walked on the moon, and the whole thing was a just a staged event to put the U.S. ahead in the space race.
The words “it is possible that” makes it difficult to disagree with this statement unless said to a member one of the Apollo missions who actually walked on the moon.
In my opinion, this is one of the best communication techniques there is. It gives listeners or readers the opportunity to have a different opinion, but does not give them a chance to disagree with the statement made. Be careful not to abuse this technique by “watering down” known facts but use this technique when there is even the slightest chance the fact is an opinion. As a writer or speaker, this can give you credibility with your audience while helping you to become a more successful communicator.
Walt Disney (1901-1966) was the creator of Mickey Mouse and founder of the Disneyland® and Walt Disney World® Theme Parks.
Success begins with imagination. Disney is known as a pioneer, an innovator and the possessor of one of the most fertile imaginations the world has ever known.
Success begins with a dream. In 1923, Walt Disney left Kansas City for Hollywood with nothing but a few drawing materials, $40 in his pocket, and a completed animated live-action film.
Success is solving problems. Later in his career, Disney turned his attention toward the problem of improving the quality of urban life in America. He personally directed the design of an Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow or EPCOT®.
Success begins with passion. “Disneyland is a work of love. We didn’t go into Disneyland just with the idea of making money.”
Success is having vision. In 1965, Disney directed the purchase of 43 square miles of virgin land—twice the size of Manhattan—in the center of the state of Florida. Here he master-planned a whole Disney world of entertainment to include a new amusement theme park, a motel-hotel resort vacation center, and his Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. After more than seven years of master planning and preparation, including 52 months of actual construction, Walt Disney World opened to the public as scheduled on October 1, 1971.
Success is overcoming adversity. “All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Success is being optimistic. Disney is one of history’s best-known optimists. His visions and dreams for a brighter future took shape in Epcot Center, which opened on October 1, 1982. • “The era we are living in today is a dream coming true.” • “I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.”
Success is thinking huge. “Here in Florida, we have something special we never enjoyed at Disneyland...the blessing of size. There’s enough land here to hold all the ideas and plans we can possibly imagine.”
Success is welcoming competition. “I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn’t know how to get along without it.”
[Source: http://disney.go.com, http://www.biography.com]
Whenever I come across a book, article, or website on making a million dollars, I notice the method used is either a) a long-term secure investment strategy that begins at age 20 and matures at age 65 or b) an attempt to get readers to sell the author’s product. Well, the strategy I am about to propose is one that will take seven years, not 45, and it does not have anything to do with selling our services. It is the same formula I used to build Adgrafix, which in 7 years I sold for 20 times the one million dollar goal. If acquiring more money is part of your definition of success, then read on.
Why one million dollars? Why not? It is a nice round number that many people use as a basis for wealth. Sure, one million dollars is not the same today as it was 25 years ago, but it is certainly an amount that most people on this earth would be happy to have.
This formula is a general formula, not an exact “how to.” It is up to you, using the knowledge you have already acquired in this course, to fill in the details and make this formula work for you. The formula itself is quite simple but as powerful and real as they come. I call this the “RAM” formula, and I will explain why in a moment. This is a formula that will take seven years to make one million dollars. Your results may vary by taking longer, shorter, having less, or as in my case, having much more in the seventh year.
You begin by setting a goal to make an extra $8000 in one year. In today’s economy, $8000 in one year is not that difficult to make. It is a mere $22 per day. This can be achieved with a part-time job or side business. This $8000 you make should be spent 100 percent on this goal of making a million dollars. Do not hoard this money or spend it on anything but that which will help you to double your money in the next year. This means in year two, your goal is to make $16,000, but this time, you have $8000 to work with as “investment capital.” Repeat this process for seven straight years, and you will have made over one million dollars. Continue this process for one more year you can keep the one million dollars you have made in the previous year and call it quits if you wanted to.
Year 1: $8000
Year 2: $16,000
Year 3: $32,000
Year 4: $64,000
Year 5: $128,000
Year 6: $256,000
Year 7: $512,000
The numbers in this formula are the same incremental numbers used for a computer’s random access memory, or RAM, thus the name the “RAM” formula.
There is a big bonus by following this formula; to make these numbers on the high end, you will almost certainly need to create something of value that can be marketed. This “something of value” which you are creating is called an asset, which, unless it is you or your time, can generally be sold when you are done with it. The sale of this asset can make you more than double all of the money you have ever earned from the asset, allow you great tax advantages, and allow you to keep more of what you make.
As I said, this is a general formula to follow. It is very reasonable, since doubling a non-fixed income in one year is a goal that is very achievable. In fact, people do it every single day. It is up to you to fill in the details by adapting this formula to your life. At the end of seven years, with patience, determination, and persistence, you will have made one million dollars.
You find yourself in the fortunate situation of having two great job offers. The first job offer makes more sense financially, logistically, and you believe you will enjoy it more. However, something inside you is telling you that you should choose the second job offer. You cannot articulate why, you just somehow “know.” What do you do? If you tend to be more analytical, you find comfort in being able to justify your decisions with facts and figures; this, after all, is very reasonable. People don’t get fired for making justified decisions. However, sometimes you find yourself saying, “I should have gone with my gut feeling.”
This “gut feeling” we have, or intuition, is very often misunderstood. Intuition is defined as the act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition. Where does our intuition come from? Some people believe it is a sign from a higher power, some believe it is a mystical “sixth-sense” we possess, and some people believe it is their own insecurities second guessing the most reasonable decisions. Cognitive science has come a long way in providing strong evidence that our intuitions are a reflection of the information in our unconscious or subconscious mind.
To explain intuition, let’s go back to a brief refresher on memory and the subconscious. Our minds are like sponges; constantly taking in information all around us. Most of this information is not processed by our conscious mind; it goes directly into our subconscious. When we are faced with a decision, our conscious mind presents us with the facts and figures, and our subconscious mind is also at work making the decision based on all its knowledge, which is generally more complete. However, remember this very important fact about the subconscious–it cannot reason. It interprets images, words, and feelings literally. This means, you cannot always trust your intuition because your gut feeling may be based on false information. It is up to you to determine if your gut feeling is a result of actual experiences and facts, or possibly a result of negative or false mental conditioning.
I grew up in a very entrepreneurial family. My father, mother, brother, and sister were all “independently employed.” Years of mental conditioning have resulted in my ability and desire to tolerate more risky financial situations. I don’t remember any specific conversations with my family members about risk, but I do know that my toleration of risk is a result of what I picked up at a subconscious level over the years. Most people will not admit when they were wrong about following their intuition–I am not one of those people. I made some poor financial decisions in the past just by “trusting my intuition” due to my cavalier views on risk at the time. Discovering this about myself has caused that overly optimistic “go for it” attitude towards financial risk to subside leading me to better decisions.
We all have a sense of intuition from time to time—some more often than others. We know that intuition is sensing something without rational processes. If intuition is a result of all of our past experiences and influences, both real and imagined, then by examining the source of the intuition, we will be in a better position to know when to trust our intuition and know when to ignore it. Think about what events, feelings, and circumstances in your past are causing these senses of intuition, decide if these are valid influences, then choose to trust your intuition or not. You will have increased your odds of making better decisions significantly.
Not too long ago a movie came out called How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days. I know it sounds like a bit of a “chic flick,” but it’s not. It is a hilarious movie about the more common things women do to turn men away in relationships. So in the spirit of fun, I chose to write this lesson in the same style of what NOT to do, but instead of relationships, this is about how to lose a job. So if you are interested in getting fired, or if you are interested in learning what NOT to do to keep your job, read on.
In today’s job market, jobs are competitive, and it is generally easier for employers to find good employees than for employees to find good jobs. If you are one of the persistent individuals that have made it into a position that you really enjoy, it is up to you to keep your job. If you are truly an asset to the company, the chances are that no recession, cutback, or takeover will cause you to lose your job. What will cause you to lose your job is doing one or more of the many things the average employee does every day. So here we go...
How to lose a job in 10 days (begin sarcasm)
(end sarcasm)
Losing a job is not difficult; it is maintaining a job that is the challenge. However, with the right attitude and strong human relationship skills, you can have a greater sense of security in any job you choose. Just DON’T follow the advice above! :)
If your health is an important part of your success, then adopting the “all things in moderation” rule of thumb can be a significant stumbling block on your road to success. Here’s why.
The moderation game is a risky, dangerous, and even potentially fatal one. While an excess of anything is bad (“bad” being inherent in the definition), it is fallacious to think that a moderate amount of anything (especially “everything”) is okay. The occasional Big Mac, piece of cheesecake, and snort of cocaine still adversely affects your health. Trying pot just one time still results in an overall negative health effect. This does not mean you need to be a saint or a perfect eater, but you should first be aware of risks and dangers of unhealthy foods and recreational drugs, then balance those risks with the potential rewards to your overall well-being. You choose how you want to live your life, but make that choice being aware of the facts, not being flippantly ignorant of them.
Mary Kay Ash (1915–2001) was the founder of Mary Kay, Inc. Mary Kay does business in more than 30 markets on five continents and generated 2002 sales of nearly $1.6 billion in wholesale sales worldwide.
Success is focusing on the human aspect of business. Mary’s idea of P&L was “people and love” rather than “profit and loss.” Mary Kay, nevertheless, powered a corporate colossus. Mary personally sent birthday cards to each employee and wrote notes of encouragement on her trademark pink stationery.
Success is encouragement. “My mother’s words became the theme of my childhood,” Mary said. “They have stayed with me all my life: ’You can do it.’”
Success is focusing on your aptitude. Mary was studying to be a doctor while raising three children and working sales part-time. She changed direction, however, when an aptitude test showed that her sales ability outranked her science ability.
Success stems from frustration. As the national sales director for WorldGift, Mary witnessed her male colleagues being promoted ahead of her at twice her salary. She retired from corporate sales and later started her billion-dollar empire.
Success is creating an opportunity where one does not exist. Mary theorized about a dream company in several of her books she had written that she would start after “retirement,” then decided to create the dream company.
Success is pressing on when faced with adversity. Just one month before the scheduled opening of Mary Kay, Inc., Mary’s husband died. But thanks to the encouragement of her children, Mary Kay, Inc. did open. Mary wrote, “I knew I would never have a second chance to put my dream into action.”
Success is making sacrifices. To attend college, conduct sales, and raise three kids alone, Mary Kay sacrificed a social life—and sleep. “Each goal had a price, and my spirit of competition always helped me feel that the price was worth it.”
Success is optimism. “Every successful entrepreneur I’ve ever met has been an incurable optimist.”
Success is believing in yourself. Today, Mary Kay’s company and philanthropy still live by her message. “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.”
[Source: http://www.marykay.com]
When creating YearToSuccess.com, I knew that the success of this program would be based on member referrals. This led me to the question, “What can I do to encourage member referrals?” Once I had some basic ideas and put them into effect, I could have stopped. However, for this program to be successful, I have to continually ask myself, “What else can I do?” This question, although not always an immediate answer producer, has led me to find new solutions and create new tools to help our members share the program, thus increasing membership. Too often instead of asking what else can be done, people make statements such as, “I’ve done all I can.” My reply to that statement is, “Have you?”
There is no limit to success or any limit to the effort you can make or actions you can take to get you there. If you ask yourself the question, “What else can I do?” you will get an answer. If by habit you insist on responding with a statement that closes the door of possibility, then ask yourself, “If there WERE something else I could do, what would it be?” Do not let yourself off the hook so easily.
Asking yourself this question is persistence in action. You know that persistence is paramount in the achievement of success, and you know you have a practical method to persist. There is always another way. When you tell yourself that you are doing all you can, you are essentially giving yourself a way out. Only when you ask yourself what more can you do, will your mind provide you with an answer.
This is also a powerful question to ask as a leader. By asking your team, “What else can we do to accomplish our objective?” you are encouraging participation by opening up your team members’ minds to the possibility that more can be done. This begins the thinking process that eventually results in solutions, good ideas, and breakthroughs.
When do you stop asking this question? When you have reached your goal or objective or have made a conscious choice to no longer spend time in pursuit of the goal or objective. There is always another way, but sometimes that other way may be to back out and cut your losses.
“What else can I do?” This question has many forms and can be worded in many ways. The purpose is to keep your mind open to possibilities and persist where others do not. Next time you feel that you have reached a dead end, ask what else can be done. The answers you receive can bring you closer to success.
It is tough at times during a recession (oops... slow economy) to be so positive and upbeat in the presence of others who are obviously affected by such times. While I do sympathize, I also believe we live in our own little worlds, and we can choose to focus on the negative or the positive; the choice is ours.
Since the beginning of existence, there have been times of abundance and times of deficiency. It is important to remember that this is cyclical and times of deficiency do not and will not last. It may not feel like it, but as sure as the spring will follow the winter, prosperity, and economic growth will follow recession. Remembering this single fact alone can completely change your outlook on life.
An economy is only “bad” if you perceive it that way. A bad economy can be and is, good for many people. What is so good about a bad economy?
The benefits of a slow economy can be summed up with one word: opportunity. Think positively. Keep in mind that prosperous times are ahead. As a consumer, you have the upper hand; it is a buyer’s market. And as an employer you have the upper hand; it is an employer’s market. Most of all, remember the old saying, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
In the world of sales, when a prospect says “no” or “not interested,” what it really means, most of the time, is that the prospect needs more information. It is estimated that more than 50% of the time we say no, we are doing so out of reflex or habit. At the same time, many people are pressured into saying yes when they really mean no mostly out of fear of offending or fear of standing out. Every day we end up getting stuck doing things we do not want to do, buying things we really don’t want, and missing opportunities because we do not know how to say no.
My friend once told me of a time he was invited to this “party.” The party took place in a hotel conference room. As soon as all of the “guests” arrived, the doors were shut behind them and out came running an overly-excited guy with a microphone welcoming everyone to the party and “letting them in” on a “ground floor opportunity.” Here was a group of people who were misled by someone whom they most likely trusted into coming to what they believed was a purely social event, which really turned out to be a high-pressure sales situation. The tactic used by these high-pressure salespeople was to get the prospects into a situation where refusing their offer would cause them embarrassment or at least discomfort. Fortunately, my friend had enough business sense to know what was going on and enough self-confidence to reject the offer. Way to go, Keith!
In today’s world of high-pressure sales, learning how to say no is a must, especially in business where just one bad purchasing decision can lead to the failure of the company. However, do not react with an immediate no without understanding the offer. This hasty reaction can result in a missed opportunity. Remember, when you say no too quickly, any salesperson with even a little experience would move on to countering the rejection, thus not letting you off the hook. So how do we get off the hook?
Offer an explanation. Most people feel that no means no and they do not need to give an explanation. While this may be true, it is not good communication. People often avoid giving explanations to salespeople because they do not want to give them information that they can counter. In these cases, or in any case where you do not feel comfortable sharing the truth, say “I am sorry, but I have to say no for personal reasons” rather than “because I said” or “just because” as an explanation. It is hard to argue with that! Another favorite of mine is “I am sorry, but I have no interest whatsoever.” This is both polite yet decisive enough so that any decent sales person would simply thank you for your time and move on.
Offer a substitute. This technique works great when friends or family ask you to do something you really do not want to do. Instead of saying yes to avoid embarrassment or an awkward situation, say yes, but to an alternative proposal. At times, I am asked by friends to invest in their ideas. When I feel that it would be a poor investment, rather than simply saying no, or offering some lame excuse, I offer my assistance by offering them some free consulting services. While they did not get the money they were looking for, they are appreciative of the assistance, and I feel good as well for helping them out.
Learning how to say no is an important part of effective communication. Mastering this skill will allow to you have the self-confidence it takes to reject an offer and the tact to do it in a way that will cause embarrassment to neither you nor the person whose offer you reject. Learn how to say no and make better decisions.
“Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.” - George Eliot
“Nobody needs a smile so much as the one who has none to give.” - Lawrence G. Lovasik
“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” - Mother Teresa
Hundreds of the most influential people throughout history understood the power of a simple smile. A smile is something that costs nothing, yet is priceless. It cannot be bought or sold, only given away. The more smiles you give away, the more you get in return. A smile is a key element to both our happiness and success in life.
Smiling has enormous benefits for both the giver and receiver of the smile. Here are just some of those benefits:
Is one expected to smile all the time? Of course not. Besides not being natural, there are times when it is appropriate to have a more serious or somber expression, like at a funeral. Here are just a few times when a conscious effort to smile should be made.
How does one smile? Is it as simple as using one’s facial muscles to lift up the ends of one’s mouth? For a fake smile, it is that simple. A genuine smile does, however, take a little more effort. A genuine smile begins in the heart with a warm feeling, proceeds to the eyes that then force the ends of the mouth upward into a smile. Smiling is habitual; the more you do it, the more you can’t help doing it.
A smile is more contagious than the common cold, and as the giver, it is a whole lot more beneficial to both you and those you come “in contact” with. It is the trademark of many famous actors and said to be the “secret of success” for many individuals. Use smiles to bring yourself and those around you more joy, happiness, and success.
Andrew Carnegie (1835–1919) helped build the formidable American steel industry, a process that turned a poor young man into one of the richest entrepreneurs of his age.
Success is desiring knowledge. As a boy, Andrew attended Rolland School and developed a love for learning from his teacher that he carried with him for the rest of his life.
Success is sharing. Carnegie was perhaps the first person of great wealth to state publicly that the rich have a moral obligation to give away their fortunes. In 1889 he wrote The Gospel of Wealth, in which he asserted that all personal wealth beyond that required to supply the needs of one’s family should be regarded as a trust fund to be administered for the benefit of the community.
Success is making the right contacts. Carnegie joined Mr. Woodruff, inventor of the sleeping car, in organizing Woodruff Sleeping Car Company. This would be the beginning of Mr. Carnegie’s fortune.
Success begins in the mind. “The man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.”
Success is being a trend spotter, not a trend fighter. Young Andrew was expected to follow in his father’s footsteps as a weaver. But Andrew chose to play a big part in the industrial revolution instead, ironically putting most of the weavers out of business in the process with the introduction of steam-powered looms.
Success is seeking responsibility, not avoiding it. Young Andrew advanced very quickly in his career as a result of doing each job to the best of his ability and seizing every opportunity to take on new responsibilities.
Success is picking your battles. At the turn of the twentieth century, J.P. Morgan mounted a major challenge to Carnegie’s steel empire. The then 64-year-old was confident he could fight Morgan off in a legal battle that would most likely last for several years; however, Carnegie chose to accept a very large sum of money and spend the rest of his days with his wife and daughter.
Success is seeking the help of others. “No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it.”
[Sources: http://www.pbs.org, http://www.carnegie.org]
It seems as if everywhere we turn others are giving us advice, or an opinion about what could or should be done about a situation or problem. A key to success is knowing the difference between good and not-so-good advice and acting on the good advice. As Wilson Mizner wrote, “To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.”
Nobody can tell another person with certainty what is good advice and what is bad advice. The distinction between good and bad advice is very personal, and it requires a combination of knowledge of oneself and common sense. Here are some points to consider that can help you decide which advice to take, and which to leave.
Ironically, this whole course is really about advice. I say this not to make you overly skeptical of any advice I may have to offer, but to admit that any advice I give is advice that should be subjected to the same points above. Remember that every person you meet is your superior in some way. Be both open-minded and cautious when it comes to taking advice. A life-long habit of following good advice is like taking the less bumpy road to success.
One of the greatest obstacles that stands in the way of success is one’s own ego. It seems to be in our nature to prove our superiority, point out when others are wrong, and become very defensive when others point out when we are wrong. Constructive debating and talking out a difference of opinion are appropriate at times, but it’s usually best to avoid arguments when possible.
An argument is characterized by the expression of disagreement in which emotions and egos often get in the way of a favorable outcome. It has been estimated that 9 out of 10 arguments end up in a lose-lose situation. Someone once said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” Also, even if you think you won the argument by presenting stronger facts, you have lost the good will of those with whom you are arguing. In Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography, he had this to say about those who argue, “...these disputing, contradicting, and confuting people are generally unfortunate in their affairs. They get victory sometimes, but they never get good will, which would be of more use to them.” The best way to “win” an argument is to avoid it altogether.
The majority of people believe that the best way to win someone to your way of thinking or get someone to see your point of view is by arguing. In fact, the opposite is true. The moment you contradict another you are putting that person on the defensive, and in an effort to protect his or her own ego, the other person will continue to disagree. Most of the time, they will just convince themselves even more that they are right, and you are wrong. In psychology, this is known as the backfire effect. The ability to win someone to your way of thinking is an extremely valuable skill to have but has nothing to do with arguing, contradicting, or proving another to be wrong.
It is without question that arguing does more damage than good. As a successful communicator, knowing when to hold your tongue and show tact is essential. Do you ever find yourself contradicting others to make yourself feel smarter or superior, to convince yourself that you are right or contradicting just out of plain habit? If so, ask yourself what you really have to gain by doing this. How will you make the other person feel? What will others think of you for publicly delivering a strong blow to another’s ego?
There will be times, of course, when others disagree with you and attempt to initiate an argument. It is most important to keep in mind the ultimate goal: to create a win-win situation. Here are some suggestions on how to do just that.
By avoiding arguments, you can avoid getting into potentially explosive situations or avoid saying things you will later regret. Control your emotions and use tact. Do not disagree with others for your own benefit and do your best to avoid arguments by turning them into rational “fact finding” discussions. Do this, and you will build and maintain more successful relationships in your personal and professional life.
Back in the 1930’s, to the detriment of mankind, a man named Adolf Hitler was able to convince millions of people that his conduct was “in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator.” Several years earlier, a man called Mahatma Gandhi helped free the Indian people from British rule through nonviolent resistance. What did these two men on complete opposite sides of the moral spectrum have in common? They were both masters of winning others to their way of thinking.
There are five general methods to win others to your way of thinking: influence, persuasion, mental conditioning, manipulation, and brainwashing. All are equally powerful, but the last two are negative and can have serious repercussions. It is important to our success that we learn how to influence and persuade effectively, but it is equally important to our well-being that we learn how to recognize manipulation and brainwashing. Mental conditioning is considered neutral and can be positive or negative, depending on how it is used.
There are other methods of winning others to your way of thinking that are not listed above like physical force (which only appears to work), hypnotism (which the other person has to be a willing participant), and the Jedi mind trick (which to my knowledge, has only been used a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away).
The ability to win others to your way of thinking is a key element of both leadership and success. There are just as many ways to do it wrong as there are to do it right. As a successful leader, use positive influence often and gentle persuasion when necessary. Use mental conditioning on yourself to abolish limiting beliefs or to instill empowering beliefs. Never use manipulation or brainwashing in an attempt to win others to your way of thinking and be aware when others attempt to use these techniques on you. Follow these suggestions, and you will possess the valuable skill of winning others to your way of thinking.
What if you were offered the position of chief ashtray licker of the XYZ Corporation? Your job, if you chose to accept it, would consist of licking dirty ashtrays clean all day long. For this job, you would be paid one million dollars for just one day’s work. Would you accept it? What if you would be paid ten million dollars? Now, what if there were an 80% chance that you would only be paid one dollar? What if you actually enjoyed licking ashtrays, would that change anything? Should you commit yourself to this job?
Commitment and persistence go hand in hand. If you are committed to something whether it be a goal, relationship, or a cause, you use persistence to support that commitment. Persistence does not guarantee anyone success. In fact, misguided persistence has led to ruined lives and insanity. Generally speaking, the difference between genius and insanity is success. Think about the “crazy” inventor who works around the clock on some “crazy” idea. Perception of both the inventor and idea change completely if the idea succeeds. When you commit yourself to something, especially a life purpose, you must realize that there are sacrifices you must make. We all have 24 hours in a day and each minute we spend on our goals, is one less minute we have to spend on other areas of our lives.
In our hypothetical ashtray-licking situation, there are a few variables that can affect your decision to commit to the job. These are a) the possible rewards, b) the work itself, and c) the risk involved. Here is my formula for deciding whether to make a commitment or not:
If Possible Rewards > Work + Risk then COMMIT
Unlike a mathematical formula, these variables do not have absolute or numerical values. Each variable is unique to the specific commitment. If the possible reward is greater than the work plus the risk, then it makes sense to commit. If not, then it does not make sense. Simple. What is not so simple, is giving value to each variable. This is done by using a combination of your head, heart, and gut.
Possible rewards. This is what you hope to achieve by following through with your commitment. It is called “possible” reward because no reward is really guaranteed. One’s possible reward to a 9-to-5 job consists of a salary that is close to 100% certain to be paid, and a future of raises and promotions that are less than certain. Possible rewards should also include the positive aspects of the work such as learning, training, and enjoyment of the work itself.
Work. This is the labor, mental or physical that is used in the commitment. To determine this value, one should consider the time needed, sacrifices to be made, and the intensity of labor. These are all the negative aspects of the labor. Any positive aspects of work should be figured into the possible rewards variable.
Risk. What are the physical, mental, or emotional risks involved in the work?
What if the only rewards that ever materialized were the positive benefits from the work itself? Would you view this as completely devastating, a bit unfortunate, or could you care less? Keep in mind all that you sacrifice for this commitment. There is a myth that one must sacrifice short-term gratification for long-term success. This does not have to be true. By enjoying and profiting from the work of your commitments, any possible reward is not as important. With this, success is in the journey and not the destination.
Choose carefully which commitments you make in life. If your existing commitments consist mostly of pain, boredom, and/or resentment, it may be time to rethink where you are committed and replace your existing commitments with new commitments in which the work itself energizes and motivates you. Keep in mind any negative consequences that may be associated with breaking a commitment. Try using the commitment formula before making your next commitment and make the best use of your limited and valuable time.
John D. Rockefeller (1839–1937), America’s first billionaire, was the driving force behind the creation and development of the Standard Oil Company and one of the first major philanthropists in the U.S.
Success is having diligence. Rockefeller’s first job was working as an assistant bookkeeper for less than four dollars a week. He showed a talent for detail and a strong work ethic from the beginning. In 1859, Rockefeller’s diligence was rewarded, and he was made a partner.
Success is seeing opportunity where others only see misfortune. “I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity.”
Success is putting your own money on the line and taking risks. In 1859, with $1,000 Rockefeller had saved and another $1,000 borrowed from his father, Rockefeller formed a partnership in the commission business with Maurice B. Clark, which would be the beginning of his lucrative business career.
Success is based in part on aptitude. The commission merchant business was very competitive, and Clark & Rockefeller’s success was due in large part to Rockefeller’s natural business abilities.
Success is encouraging leadership in others. “Good leadership consists in showing average people how to do the work of superior people.”
Success is sharing. Rockefeller was 57 years old when he focused his efforts on philanthropy, giving away the bulk of his fortune in ways designed to do the most good as determined by careful study, experience, and the help of expert advisers.
Success is knowing the power of money—the good and the bad. “The impression was gaining ground with me that it was a good thing to let the money be my servant and not make myself a slave to the money...”
Success does not mean being perfect. Rockefeller appeared to many to be a man of contradictions. He eagerly crushed his competitors, “ruining” hundreds of lives in his pursuit of profit. Yet he was one of the world’s greatest philanthropists.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://voteview.uh.edu, http://allsands.com]
As an amateur bodybuilder, it has taken me almost 20 years to learn first-hand that success is not always about trying harder. This statement seems a bit contradictory to the principles of muscle development since when it comes to building muscle, maximum results are produced with maximum effort. However, I have learned the hard way that trying harder at doing the wrong exercises, using poor form, and working the same muscle group too often, will not bring me closer to success. In fact, due to injury, doing the wrong things has pushed me further from my goals. In addition, genetically speaking, I can never look like a Schwarzenegger no matter how hard I try. Understanding that success is not about trying harder has helped me to do MY best, and has kept me from getting discouraged when my efforts do not pay off.
According to a study done by M. Scherneck for his Ph. D. dissertation in 1998, wasted effort is actually the leading cause of discouragement. The majority of people studied rank effort as the leading predictor of success, when in fact it is just a small part of success. People try and try, see little results, get discouraged, consider themselves a failure and give up. It is the classic case of confusing activity with accomplishment. Do you think Michael Jordan tries 1000 times harder than the average pro basketball player? Do you think Bill Gates tries 100,000,000 times harder than the average business person? If success were really about trying harder, based on their success (wealth, fame, influence) in their respective fields, this would have to be true. Common sense, however, tells us that it cannot be true.
Why is success not always about trying harder? I believe there are three main reasons why effort alone does not guarantee one success. To illustrate these reasons, we will follow Ken in his pursuit of success.
Aptitude. Ken dreamed of being a pro basketball player since he was a small boy. He would devote much of his childhood to playing basketball and practicing every chance he got. Always being small for his age, and fairly big boned, he never did too well at the sport and spent most of his time on the bench when he did actually make the team. Ken realized that despite his efforts, he did not have the aptitude to become a professional basketball player. He did not fit the physical profile, and perhaps he was a little less coordinated than the other players. After taking one of the many available aptitude tests in high school, Ken discovered that he had a knack for business.
Doing the wrong things. Years passed, and Ken entered the business world as an entrepreneur with a start-up company. Ken worked 18 hour days in an attempt to get his business off the ground, mostly at perfecting his website. He would add content, make changes daily, check every word and sentence for proper spelling and grammar, and spend thousands on eye-catching animations and graphics. After about a year of this, Ken finally realized the error of his ways. The problem was never with his website’s content; it was the fact that very few people knew it even existed! All this time, Ken was, as they say, “spinning his wheels.”
Point of diminishing returns. Ken finally knew what he needed to do. He needed to attract people to his website. To do this, Ken ran an ad in his local newspaper. This worked great for Ken. He immediately saw return on his investment, and the traffic started coming in. He ran the ad again, then again. However, the results the second and third times were not so great. Ken expanded his advertising to all the local papers, magazines, websites, TV and radio stations. As with his first ad, these ads did well for a while, and then started to produce diminishing returns. Ken was now spending thousands of dollars and working 18 hour days once again, “trying his best” to get the business off the ground.
Since this is a hypothetical illustration, we might as well give it a happy ending while plugging Year To Success. Fortunately for Ken, he discovered that success is not always about trying harder. Success is the culmination of hundreds of principles, concepts and ideas. Ken read Year To Success and started applying the principles to his business. He is now one of the most successful business people in his community, and he works no harder and no longer than the average business person.
There are several places to shop for groceries in my town. They are all within the same approximate driving distance, and they all have the same general groceries. However, one of the stores does something unique that the other stores in town do not do: the baggers push the cart out to your car, load the bags into your car, then return the carriage, while accepting nothing in return besides a “Thank you.” Since my wife and I shop with two small children, you can probably guess who gets our business. Even though this store is a bit more expensive than the others in town, we feel it is well worth it. The management of this local grocery store understands and applies one of the key principles of business success: make it easy for the customer to do business with you.
Make it easy for prospects to find you. Needless to say, if the prospects do not know your business exists, they will not become a customer.
Make it easy for prospects to contact you. Most prospects will call a local number over a long distance number, hang up on voice mail or a busy signal, or visit another website if yours is down.
Make it easy for prospects to buy from you. People generally like shopping and having, but not buying. The more painless you can make this process, the more prospects you will be able to convert into customers.
Listen to your customers. Customer feedback is the best way to determine how “customer friendly” your business is. Remember that it does not matter how easy YOU think it is to do business with you, it is what the prospect or customer thinks.
When I sold my first web hosting company to a large, publicly traded corporation, I was excited about taking our already profitable and successful web hosting company to a new level. We went from 11 employees to a division of over 200 people. We then had the resources of many bright people with Harvard educations who had been in business for decades. We also had access to money to improve our current services and begin some real marketing campaigns. However, within just days, my enthusiasm began to wane with the realization that flexibility was not part of this new corporate culture. Changes that we used to implement in minutes now took months. This rigid, multi-management layered environment in an industry that demands flexibility would eventually lead to the downfall of the entire division.
In the early days of my first web hosting company, I was often criticized for “not sticking with plans.” If I saw a better opportunity, I would often divert all energy to the new opportunity and let the other one go. It’s like being on a busy sidewalk and seeing a dollar bill a few yards away; you start to walk toward it with the intent to pick it up, and then you see a ten-dollar bill that is even closer. How could you not change course and pick up the ten-dollar bill instead? Let someone else get the one-dollar bill, or if it is still there, get it after you pick up the ten dollar bill. It was not long before those on my team began to realize the method to my “madness.”
Flexibility is an attitude that can help us succeed both personally and professionally in several ways.
The one major drawback of goals, mission statements, business plans and other written paths for the future is that people put so much effort into the creation of these, that they are hesitant to change them. There is a stigma with “abandoning goals” or “getting off track.” However, flexibility is actually a very important part of any type of goal setting.
Another reason flexibility is not embraced is because of one’s ego. You will often hear one say, “I have made up my mind” or “my decision is final.” The more our beliefs or ideas are challenged, the more rigid we become. This behavior is reactionary and its purpose is to just protect our own ego. One must learn to let go of his or her ego if he or she is to be flexible.
Flexibility is often met with criticism because it can be confused with indecisiveness and/or quitting. True flexibility is, however, a vital part of long-term success that can keep you ahead of the curve in this ever-changing world.
Gordy has been working on his own for the last 20 years as a hair stylist. He has no college education and no experience in the “corporate world,” yet yearns to enter the business world. However, his lack of self-confidence and his skewed perception of what employers are looking for keep him from getting any of the jobs for which he applies. Good news for Gordy—his best chance to get the job he desires is by acquiring the practical knowledge needed for the position. The reason this is good news is that practical knowledge does not take four years and $100,000.00 to acquire.
We can categorize knowledge into three areas. Each has its advantage and use in life.
General Knowledge. This consists of the basics such as reading, writing, and arithmetic. It also includes facts and figures, dates and history, and people and places. We spend the majority of our childhood and youth learning general knowledge. It is general knowledge that allows us to function in society, build a foundation on which we can begin to acquire specific or practical knowledge, and win at Trivial Pursuit®.
Specific Knowledge. Once we have chosen a field of study to pursue, we acquire specific knowledge—specific to the chosen field. This is the information we learn in trade school or the latter years of college. Many corporations list as a prerequisite specific knowledge in the form of higher education.
Practical Knowledge. This is the knowledge that is even more specific to the work one has chosen to pursue. This includes knowledge of the organization itself, the specific duties of the job, understanding the market in which the organization operates—basically, the knowledge needed to perform the specific job.
Having practical knowledge alone certainly does not guarantee you a job. There are positions that have requirements, especially those regulated by government such as lawyers, doctors, airplane pilots, and others. In addition, public corporations may be hiring for image rather than for finding the one who can best do the job. Of course, these allegations would be denied due to discrimination laws, but in order to please stockholders, some corporations will hire the gray haired, ivy league degreed, racially and sexually balanced employees that have more letters after their names than in them. So unless you fit their public image profile, your chances of getting the job are slim.
Having practical knowledge really pays off when it comes to applying for a job with a smaller, more entrepreneurial organization. This is an organization in which the person doing the hiring is more concerned with the profitability of the organization than being criticized for his or her hiring decision. As an employer, I can confirm that hiring employees who already know the business and the industry can save months of training, loss of productivity, and money that would otherwise have to be allocated to getting the new employee up to speed.
Here are some suggestions for acquiring the practical knowledge needed to increase your chances of getting the job you desire.
It is a good idea to demonstrate some of your practical knowledge in your cover letter, or by sending an e-mail to the person in charge of hiring. A demonstration of your practical knowledge will put you at a great advantage over the other applicants. It is true that acquiring this practical knowledge takes more time and effort than just sending a resume or filling out a standard application, but it will be well worth it.
J.P Morgan (1837-1913) was one of the world’s foremost financial figures during the two pre-World War I decades.
Success is making introductions. J.P. began his career as an accountant for Duncan, Sherman & Co. in New York City, which provided a good base for J.P. Morgan’s introduction into the world of banking and finance, especially because of its ties to the powerful London firm of George Peabody & Co.
Success is supporting good ideas in which you believe. J.P. funded Thomas Edison throughout the 1870s and 1880s, and laid the financial foundation for Edison Electric Company.
Success is seeking and finding opportunity. When many small companies and railroads ran into tough times after the Civil War, Morgan saw opportunities and acquired those with potential.
Success is diversification. Morgan acquired and/or financed shipping interests, coal mines, insurance and communications industries, and he provided financial backing for the U.S. government itself.
Success is using power, not abusing it. Morgan saw himself as a positive force. His banks, he believed, had helped to transform America into the world’s most powerful nation, while privately he gave money to the urban poor.
Success is problem-solving. “No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.”
Success is recognizing the power of synergy. In 1891, Morgan arranged the merger of Edison General Electric and Thompson-Houston Electric Company to form General Electric, which then became the country’s main electrical equipment manufacturing company.
Success is sharing. In 1912, J.P. Morgan gave to the Library of Congress a complete set of autographs of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, as well as giving away numerous other priceless works of art to several museums.
Success is setting goals and following them through. “The wise man bridges the gap by laying out the path by means of which he can get from where he is to where he wants to go.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.pbs.org, http://www.netstate.com]
In 1776, Thomas Jefferson, with the help of others, wrote in the Declaration of Independence that all men (I am sure he meant women as well) were endowed with the right to the “pursuit of happiness.” Success, to many people, is simply finding and living a life of happiness. Like success, the definition of happiness cannot come from the dictionary; it must come from inside you. What is happiness to you? If you have not taken the time to define what happiness means to you, what have you spent your whole life pursuing?
Many argue that there is nothing more important in life than happiness. To some, the meaning of life is the pursuit of happiness for oneself, the happiness of loved ones, and the happiness of mankind. Sophocles wrote, “When a man has lost all happiness, he’s not alive. Call him a breathing corpse.”
Many people get sidetracked in the pursuit of happiness by confusing temporary pleasure with happiness. Happiness is not found in “things.” Entertainment and material possessions can bring us amusement and pleasure, but not true happiness. Happiness comes from inside us—it is the way we see our world. In this sense, we create our own happiness from the way we perceive and interpret the events in our own lives. We are responsible for our own happiness. “The U.S. Constitution does not guarantee happiness,” said Ben Franklin, “only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” Another famous American named Abraham Lincoln agreed, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Some give up the pursuit of happiness by finding contentment. The two are very different. Contentment is just living life, whereas happiness is celebrating it. John Lancaster Spalding wrote, “If we were all gentle and contented as sheep, we would be as feeble and helpless.”
One can learn to be happy despite one’s current situation. It begins with abandoning any self-pity and wanting to be happy. Sad but true, some people do find pleasure in self-pity and sorrow, but it is pleasure they experience, not happiness, usually from the attention of others. Learning to be happy is about conditioning yourself to see the good rather than the bad, and being grateful for what you do have, not resentful for all the things you don’t have.
In your pursuit of happiness, now and then it is wise to just pause and be happy. The pursuit of anything often causes us to focus on the pursuit itself rather than enjoying that which we are pursuing. Like success, happiness is a journey, not a destination.
In order to stimulate some thought, I can tell you what happiness is to others. Use some of these ideas in creating your own definition.
Happiness is being true to ourselves. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony,” said Mahatma Gandhi almost a century ago. Internal conflict and lack of integrity lead to guilt and ultimately misery.
Happiness is keeping busy. It is often the result of being too busy to be miserable. Finding something to do, especially something you enjoy doing, whether it be a career, volunteer work or hobby, will keep the boredom away.
Happiness is accepting the inevitable. J.C.F. von Schiller said, “Happy is he who learns to bear what he cannot change!” I agree with Schiller, but I would like to change “cannot” to “cannot and will not.” There are many things that we can change if we devote enough resources to it. However, we may want something to change, but not badly enough to devote our time and energy to changing it. It is in these cases we must accept that what is, is.
Happiness is having goals and a purpose. Helen Keller believed, “True happiness... is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” Having goals and a purpose in life keep boredom away as well. Happiness is a side effect of the constant feeling of accomplishment and knowing you are headed in the right direction in life.
It is the little things in life that bring happiness. Those who base their happiness on major accomplishments are setting themselves up for a life void of happiness. “Happiness consists more in small conveniences or pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom,” wrote Benjamin Franklin. Life is full of these small pleasures: enjoying a sunset, walking on the beach, watching kids play, reading a good book, watching a good movie... the list goes on.
A Hindu proverb states that true happiness is in making others happy. This statement leads us back to one of the principles of success by Zig Ziglar, who says, “You can get anything you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.” By bringing another person happiness, you will find happiness as well.
Happiness is found in one’s work. “The road to happiness lies in two simple principles,” said John D. Rockefeller III, “find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it put your whole soul into it—every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have.” One’s work usually occupies more than half of one’s waking life. Choosing work that does not bring happiness will lead to a life that is mostly disappointing.
Happiness is found in one’s family life. Both loving and being loved are sources of happiness unmatched by any other. Although we cannot control the feelings others have for us, it has been said that the best way to be loved is by loving.
Happiness and health are closely related. It is not necessary for one to be in perfect health to be happy. However, it is a well-known fact that happiness does affect health. In the Orient, it was believed that the basis of all disease was unhappiness. While we are pretty sure ALL disease is not due to unhappiness, there is some truth to this. Happiness does have the power to restore health, and laughter just may be some good medicine.
Happiness is financial success and prosperity. On the tail end of happiness comes the material side of life. Acquiring is not enough to bring happiness; it is enjoying what you have acquired that can bring happiness. Writer Logan Pearsall Smith wrote, “There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.”
Realize that true happiness is not the absence of feelings and emotions in the darker side of life. It has been said that there is no pleasure without pain, which may be true, but happiness and pleasure are not the same thing. I believe that one can enjoy happiness without experiencing misery. Happiness is a way of life, not a temporary feeling of enjoyment or pleasure, and temporary human emotions of anger, discouragement and pain do not have to affect one’s overall happiness.
Sharing happiness is considered to be our “moral obligation” by many. George Bernard Shaw wrote, “We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.” Those who have found it are encouraged to share it with those who are desperately in need of it.
It has been said that happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation. Happiness is meant to enjoy now, not someday in the future when the economy improves, you meet the right person, you own a home, the kids grow up, you get a promotion, your business takes off, or you retire. These are the “good old days” so allow yourself to be happy today, right now.
“Live in the now,” “stop and smell the roses,” “don’t let life pass you by”… There are dozens of quotes that all mean essentially the same thing: your mind should be focused on the present, not the future nor the past. Some tell us to be mindful of the past and take the future into consideration, but focus should be primarily on the present. To me, living in the present means being aware of your conscious choice to focus on the past, present or future—it is not necessarily having to focus on the present.
When I was in high school, I worked as a dishwasher at a local restaurant. Although this job did not pay that much, and it was considered to be “dirty” work by most of my peers’ standards, I actually enjoyed it very much. For me, it was a time to mentally “zone out” and think about all the ideas that I had for making money. I would spend hours playing out just about every imaginable scenario in my head. I was motivated, excited, and most of all, I loved my job. Washing dishes is not brain surgery; after my first 10 minutes on the job it became a subconscious activity. Sure, I could have focused on the plates with regurgitated chicken bones and glasses filled with milk-soda-steak soup made by bored 12-year-olds, but during this time I chose to focus on my future, where I found more productivity, energy and enjoyment.
To this day, I spend much of my valuable time focused on the future as well as occasionally reliving positive events from my past. I do this when I am done getting all the happiness out of my present environment that I can. It is wise to stop and smell the roses, but how long are you supposed to sit there with your nose in a rose? Advocates of the “live in the now” mentality often overlook the power of daydreaming and creative visualization.
Surviving prisoners of war did not survive by living in the present and focusing on their pain, hunger, and undesirable living conditions. They survived by taking journeys in their minds, focusing on past events where they found joy and creating a future for themselves for after they were freed. In less extreme and more everyday situations, those with monotonous jobs claim to “keep their sanity” by daydreaming about future events. Why deprive yourself of the pleasure of taking a trip down memory lane, especially when you cannot find pleasure or enjoyment in your present environment?
Before you zone out to the past or future, understand that there are very good reasons for focusing on the present. By focusing on the present, you become much more observant and notice things you may have never noticed before. You begin to appreciate things you have never appreciated before. Being focused on present activities allows you to be more productive. Focusing on the present enables you to become an active listener.
There is nothing wrong with living in the future or the past, providing you are not sacrificing a present worthy of focus. I am often guilty of being in an amusement park on a thrilling ride, but thinking about something else. Or going for a walk with my family but thinking about business, while missing the smiling faces of my children as they are enjoying their present environment. Time spent waiting in lines, stuck in traffic and commuting can be time well spent using your creativity and imagination. Focus on your future success and visualize yourself living a life where your goals have been met. The choice is ultimately yours.
I will never forget a meeting that I attended when I was an employee at a very large publicly traded corporation. There were about ten attendees, many of whom were new to the company. The head of the sales department, who was on the speaker phone, led the meeting from another location. For over 20 minutes, he released his rage on the rest of us using language unsuitable for even an “R” rated movie. At the end of the meeting, I was in a state of shock. I could not believe that a “professional” would actually behave this way. How did this guy keep his job? The other new employees and I were all extremely offended. When we raised our concern with a member of the management team, who happened to be present during the vulgarity fest, he nonchalantly replied, “Oh, he is always like that.” Shortly after we discovered that just about the entire upper-level management team were all “like that.” From that day on, we lost respect for the management team and without a doubt, productivity suffered greatly.
Some people are more easily offended than others. The fact that some people you will be in contact with are so easily offended is not something over which you have control. You can, however, follow some basic “rules” of etiquette that will help you to avoid social blunders that can get in the way of your success.
Avoid using offensive language. Vulgar language is universally found to be offensive in professional environments. Some of the more sensitive people also are offended by poor use of the English language, overuse of expressions, and even accents. Whether you choose to improve your English skills or get rid of any accent you may have is up to you but avoiding vulgar language is a must.
Avoid making offensive comments. A comment can be a joke, an observation, a quip, or any other use of words to express an idea. Be careful that the content of the comments you make do not single out any sex, race, economic group, or social group. An example of this may be as subtle as referring to the female receptionists collectively as “the girls.”
Avoid offensive actions and behaviors. Use your common sense with this one. In fact, many offensive actions and behaviors are now grounds for immediate termination (as in work, not in life) and some can even lead to criminal prosecution. I once had a meeting with a few executives of another firm. One of the VPs of this firm introduced me to the three other executives in the meeting, but skipped over the secretary who was there taking the minutes. I was personally offended that they felt this woman was not important enough for me to know her name. As a result, I began the meeting with a bad impression that eventually led me to the decision not to do business with the firm.
Please note that I am not casting a moral judgment here. It is, however, a fact that offending others is poor human relations and will get in the way of success. If you choose to use vulgar language, tell offensive jokes, or engage in offensive behavior of any kind outside of your professional life, beware of creating a habit that will undoubtedly find its way into your professional life.
Just by interacting with others, you risk offending someone. Those who speak more, attempt humor, and have more interaction with others are at a greater risk of offending others. The best advice I can give is live with integrity and if you do offend someone, for any reason, do not criticize the person for being too easily offended. Instead, offer a sincere apology and move on. There is a chance that the person whom you offended will respect you even more than before you offended him. Follow the suggestions above and keep your path to success free of these unnecessary obstacles.
Debbi Fields (1956–) is the founder and former chairperson of Mrs. Fields Cookies, a $500 million company with over 650 domestic locations, and over 65 international locations in 11 different countries.
Success is going for the long shot. At age 20, and without any business experience, Debbi convinced a bank to finance an unproven business concept that appeared to have little likelihood of success. On August 16, 1977, Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chippery opened its doors to the public in Palo Alto, California.
Success is innovation. In 1989, Debbi made Mrs. Fields, Inc. the first company in the food retailing business to use technology to streamline operations and production schedules using a state-of-the-art computer system.
Success is knowing how to balance work and family life. Debbie is the proud birth mother of 5 daughters and stepmother of 5 more children. She believes in the importance of integrating family and business into one successful life.
Success is knowing that belief in yourself is more important than belief in others’ criticisms. “A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make.”—Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of starting Mrs. Fields’ Cookies.
Success begins with a good recipe. “First, the recipe for success requires passion—you’ve got to love what you do. Second, you’ve got to persevere. There are many challenges, and it is a scary road out there—but you have to see it through. Finally, focus on perfection. To have a product or service that will last, you have to be the best, not ’me too’.”
Success is going after business, not waiting for it to come to you. The first day of business, Debbi’s store had no sales by noon. Instead of waiting around, she hit the streets and gave samples out. By the end of the day, she had sold $75 worth of cookies.
Success is effective communication. Debbi joined her local Toastmasters, a public speaking organization, because she knew the importance of communication and delivering a message. Debbi commented for Toastmaster’s magazine, “Getting your point across quickly and succinctly is essential.”
Success is accepting risk. “People talk about success, dream about success, want to be successful. But to move to the next rung on the ladder, you’ve got to take risks. You’ve got to move out of your comfort zone.”
Success is being a positive role model. “Be your child’s role model. How your children feel about you is more important than anything else. I try hard to be a good role model. When I told my kids I was being honored with the Golden Gavel award, they looked over the list of past recipients and the criteria for selection. And they said, ‘Mom, we’re really proud of you.’ Those are the best words you can ever hear.”
[Sources: http://www.mrsfields.com, http://debbifields.com, Toastmasters Magazine]
Being a dad, I have taught my kids many things since their birth, and they have taught me a great many things as well. When my two-year-old son would play with his toys, I found myself saying proactively, and in a warning tone, “Don’t throw your toys,” only to realize that I just put an idea in his little head that was most likely not there seconds ago. Sure enough, seconds later, toys would be flying across the room. I now say, “Play nicely with your toys please,” and get much better results.
This same concept is a well-known phenomenon of human behavior that applies to people of all ages. Phrasing requests by using words such as “don’t,” “not,” “stop,” “refrain from,” and other negative words or phrases require that the request be processed by the conscious mind. Therefore, if we make a request using a word or phrase in the negative, and the person to whom we make the request is not actively listening, or incapable of understanding the complete request, the request is passed directly to the person’s subconscious mind without the negative term. So for example, saying, “Don’t stick the pencil up your nose!” to a daydreaming student enforces this action by entering his subconscious as “stick the pencil up your nose.” Even if the request does pass through the conscious mind, it still enters the subconscious without the negative word or phrase. This is because the subconscious stores images and feelings, not words. The word “not” or “don’t” cannot be visualized and, therefore, is omitted.
Not sure about this one? Try this... Request #1) keep your hands to your side (wait 15 seconds). Now request #2) don’t itch your nose (wait 15 seconds). With the second request, did you feel an urge to scratch your nose? Even if you didn’t, did you find yourself thinking an awful lot about scratching your nose, like more than you have in the last year of your life? Making requests using negative words is actually an inadvertent use of the power of suggestion.
Our goals should be stated not only in the present, but in the positive for this very same reason.
I have healthy, smoke-free lungs vs. I don’t smoke.
I have an abundance of money vs. I am debt free.
I spend plenty of time with my family vs. I am not a workaholic.
Statements made in the positive are much easier to visualize and remember than statements using negative words or phrases. How can one visualize “I am not a workaholic”? Many studies have shown that visualization increases the length of time information can be recalled. State requests in the positive so that a visualization can be made, and perhaps more important, state the request in the positive so the right visualization is being made.
Have you ever spoken with someone and had the feeling that you were “not on the same page” or “not speaking the same language”? How about engaged a possible romantic companion only to realize very quickly that you were “incompatible”? The chances are you did not have good rapport (pronounced ra - poor) with the other person. The ability to build rapport is one ability to which many great communicators attribute their success.
Rapport is the feeling between two or more people that they can relate to each other. Rapport is vital in just about any communication situation. Couples who have a good rapport with each other have happier relationships, sales people who can build rapport with prospects sell more, and leaders who have rapport with those whom they lead are more effective.
There are said to be three general types of people:
It is usually not that difficult to pick up which type of person you are dealing with by listening to the words they use. Once you determine which category they fall under, use language that fits in with the type of person they are. For example, a conversation between a salesperson who knows how to build rapport and a prospect may go something like this:
Prospect: It just does not look good to me.
Sales Person: I see. What would make it look good to you?
or
Prospect: It just does not sound good to me.
Sales Person: I hear what you are saying. What would make it sound better?
or
Prospect: It just does not feel right to me.
Sales Person: I understand. What specifically does not feel right about it?
Using words and phrases based on the visual, auditory or kinesthetic tendencies of others will help the other person relate to you better, but that alone is not the answer to building good rapport. Here are more suggestions that you can use to build the level of rapport it takes to create successful relationships.
Whether communicating with your children, parents, students, teachers, friends, employees, or boss, build rapport using some or all of the suggestions above. Do this, and it will not be long before you will consider yourself a successful communicator.
Nobody likes dishonest people, whether in a personal situation or in business. Just about the worst label one can be branded with is a “liar.” Lying is like a contagious disease but rather than spreading to others; it spreads to all parts of one’s life. One little lie often turns into a series of lies all constructed to support the other lies. Then, each one of those lies needs more lies to support those lies, and what was once a small white lie turns into a lifetime of dishonesty and deceit. Sooner or later, those who lie will get caught in a lie, and trust, integrity, and chances at lasting success will be lost.
Lies can be told for many reasons. Some of the reasons may appear fairly honorable, but it is important to realize that once you allow yourself to lie for any reason, you begin a path on a slippery slope. Perhaps you started with a lie that most would agree was for a very good reason; however, the supporting lies needed to cover the original lie may start doing some damage. It is best to use every bit of your creativity, communication skills, and common sense to avoid lying at all costs. Here is a list of the some of the most common reasons why people lie and possible alternatives to lying for those reasons.
Lying can also be in the form of simply not letting the truth be known. This can happen by leading others to false conclusions and not correcting them. For every reason there is to lie, there is a better reason not to lie. For every problem you think a lie would solve, there is a better solution consisting of an honest approach—it just takes a little more effort and practice. Avoid lying and you’ll find you have better relationships and more success in both your personal life and in business.
Years ago I was giving a seminar at a beautiful resort in Orlando, Florida. This was a “high class” hotel and convention center that is not best known for their ability to bargain. At the last minute, I realized that I completely overlooked the need for a projection screen, which I needed for part of my presentation. I could have skipped the presentation, but it would have taken away from the seminar. I could have projected on the wall, but that would have given my audience a bad impression. I needed the screen. The hotel offered me one for $250. No matter how much money you have, paying $250 for a screen for just 10 minutes of use is not right. My first attempt at a price negotiation failed–they insisted their prices were firm. So it was time to think creatively. I offered to distribute menus for their restaurant to each of my 50 guests in exchange for the use of their screen. They accepted. That night, the hotel got well over $250 in extra revenue, and I got my screen without paying.
Negotiation occurs when two or more parties want something from each other. In traditional negotiation, usually a compromise is made, and one or more of the parties give in a little to make the deal. Creative negotiation is about creating solutions that take a different approach. There are many ways to meet the wants of parties involved, however, all too often only the most obvious are presented as possible solutions. It is up to the creative negotiator to search for alternative options in which both parties do not have to make compromises, and in some cases, get more out of the deal.
Research in the area of learning and creativity provides strong evidence that creativity is a learnable skill, so if you are not the creative type—no worries. If you are not yet creative but want to profit from creative negotiating right away, get a creative thinker on your team. If you are fortunate enough to have a creative spouse, friend or co-worker, ask them for their ideas. Most would be more than happy to help, and feel appreciated that you care enough to ask their opinion.
Creative negotiating is not about manipulating or deceiving. It is about approaching a negotiation from a different perspective. It’s about suggesting a way to a win-win solution where little or no compromise needs to be made, with the best intentions of all the parties involved. There is always another way, take the time and the mental energy to find it.
Steve Jobs (1955–2011) was the co-founder of Apple Computer Corporation who became a multi-millionaire before the age of 30 by revolutionizing the computer industry.
Success begins with passion. Steve would begin his journey by joining the Homebrew Computer Club where he met Apple’s other co-founder, Steve Wozniak.
Success is seeing what others fail to see. Jobs is best known as a visionary, who was able to see the development of the PC industry long before its actual development. In fact, his electronics teacher at Homestead High, John McCollum, recalled he was “something of a loner” and “always had a different way of looking at things.”
Success is surrounding yourself with talent and skills that you lack. Jobs knew that Wozniak was a much better engineer than he. Jobs kept his focus on the marketability of the product.
Success is seeking good advice. Jobs received marketing advice from a friend, who was also a retired CEO from Intel, who helped Jobs and Wozniak with marketing strategies for selling their new product.
Success is putting it all on the line. To start their new company, Jobs and Wozniak sold their most valuable possessions. Jobs sold his Volkswagen micro-bus and Wozniak sold his Hewlett-Packard scientific calculator, which raised $1,300 to start their new company.
Success is a result of meeting the needs of others. Apple’s most successful computer, the Macintosh, had an interface that allowed people to interact easier with computers because they used a mouse to click on objects displayed on the screen to perform some function. The user-friendliness of the product made it an instant success.
Success is not without setbacks. In 1985, after being ousted from a position of power in his own company, Jobs retired as chairman of Apple Computer. This was a devastating blow to the young visionary, but a necessary step in his success.
Success is not without subsequent failures. Jobs formed a company called NextStep and planned to build the next generation of personal computers that would put Apple to shame. It did not happen. After eight long years of struggle and after running through some $250 million, NextStep closed down its hardware division in 1993.
Success is in the person, not the event. Steve Jobs later founded another company called Pixar Animation Studios. Pixar was founded in 1986; The company has won many awards, including 6 Academy Awards for Finding Nemo, A Bug’s Life, Toy Story, and Monsters, Inc.
Success is making amazing comebacks. Eleven years after Jobs was ousted from a position of power at Apple, they rehired the former co-founder in hopes of turning the company around. When Jobs returned, he succeeded and was responsible for one of the most astonishing turnarounds in US history.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.askmen.com]
Ever since my wife created a recognition chart for our four-year-old daughter, we have seen a level of cooperation, good behavior, and achievement like never before. This chart is nothing more than a piece of paper that hangs on our bulletin board in our home. On the paper are several different categories in which, depending on performance, my wife draws a little face with a frown, half star, or full star. Whether we are 4 or 104, all of us appreciate and will strive for recognition.
Recognition is defined as attention or favorable notice. It is the act of showing appreciation, usually publicly. Recognition is most often given in the presence of one’s peers in the form of either sincere words of appreciation or some kind of award. Parents can give recognition to their children, teachers to their students, managers to their subordinates, and business owners to their customers or employees. Recognition is most often given by effective and respected leaders to those whom they lead, but can be given to anyone, by anyone.
Recognition can come in many forms: a certificate of achievement, a prize of some kind (candy bar, trip to Hawaii, new car), time off from work, being excused from a test, a gold star, free product or service, and much more. However, one of the simplest, least expensive, and most effective forms of recognition is often in the form of sincere words of appreciation. The majority of studies done on this topic have concluded that people are more motivated by recognition than by money alone. Recognition for one’s achievements or efforts gives that person greater self-confidence and fulfills one of the greatest human desires—the feeling of importance.
Giving recognition does more than just make the person receiving the recognition feel good, it has a significant impact on the person’s peers as well. For example, publicly recognizing just one employee will motivate the other employees, knowing that their work and achievements will be appreciated too. It gives them something to strive for.
Here are some suggestions for giving recognition to others:
To the misfortune of many, recognition, like gratitude and appreciation, is often overlooked or ignored. Recognition has the power to both motivate and inspire people, and not just the receivers of the recognition. Leaders who give recognition are more respected and admired by those whom they lead. As Gerard C. Eakedale simply stated, “recognition is the greatest motivator.”
I once saw a movie where a twenty-something-year-old posed as a high school student to help his sister become popular. He gains instant popularity when he wins a school cafeteria tub-of-coleslaw eating contest and exclaims, “I’m the coleslaw king of the world!!!” I wish I could say that this was just a movie, and that is not how popularity works in high school, but I can’t. I can say, however, that this type of popularity is like building a house of cards—easily collapsible. Later in the movie we see this character turn from hero to zero just as quickly as he became popular, when his identity is discovered. True popularity may take longer to build, but when built with a solid foundation, it can make one’s school years some of the most enjoyable and memorable years of one’s life.
What is so important about being popular? For the most part, it is about acceptance. Acceptance to the average adolescent is much higher on the hierarchy of needs than it is for the average adult. This is one of the main reasons parents and teachers often find it difficult to understand the actions and behaviors of adolescents. Popularity is not only about being accepted, but it’s about being liked or even admired.
Before we discuss specific ways to become popular, let’s dispel some of the myths that most associate with being popular.
True popularity can be gained using the many success principles in this course. It is the kind of popularity that leads to a lifetime of success-centered habits. Although the following suggestions were specifically written with high school students in mind, the same principles can be applied in the work environment for adults.
Reputations can be changed. If you were a little scrawny, geeky kid in the fifth grade, and since then, gained weight and grew up, you first need to lose the old self-image you may still have. Then show others that you are no longer this person through your self-confidence. If you are currently one who is disliked by others because of your attitude or the way you treat others, it is not too late to change. True popularity does not happen overnight, so have patience. Treat others with respect and kindness and work on your self-confidence, and even if you are not considered “popular” by your peers, you will have built a solid foundation for your success and happiness in life, which is far more important.
Back in the “old” days, before e-mail, people used to use ink filled tubes called “pens” and material made of cellulose pulp, derived mainly from wood, rags, and certain grasses (paper) to compose messages to send to others. They would use a delivery system called “the postal service” to send this “mail” which took days, not seconds, for the recipient to actually receive the letter. When one was acting on anger and composed a hostile message, he had plenty of time to clear his head before actually mailing the letter; there was the process of writing the letter, addressing the envelope, putting the letter in the envelope, affixing the postage, and placing it in the mailbox. Today, one can compose a nasty message, send it, and have the recipient reading it, all in less than a minute. Needless to say, this type of instant communication causes our emotions to get the better of us in our e-mail communication. Effective handling of hostile e-mails, and avoiding sending hostile e-mails yourself, will give you a significant boost in your pursuit of success.
You start your morning by going through the prior night’s e-mails. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, you are happy to be alive. Then, you read a hostile and somewhat vulgar e-mail from an obviously angry customer or co-worker blaming you for one thing or another. Almost instantly, your state is transformed from one of peace and contentment to one of anger and defensiveness. What do you do next? For most of us, we click the reply button and tell the sender of the disturbing e-mail how we really feel. While that may make us feel good in the short-term, the effects of an equally belligerent response to the original e-mail will only fuel the fire. Here is why:
So what are you supposed to do? Let another make unjust claims about you or your service when it is obvious to you they have all their facts wrong? Not necessarily. Forget about your ego and your desire to prove yourself right and remember effective communication. Here are some suggestions for handling hostile e-mails.
What about initiating the sending of a hostile e-mail yourself? You may be thinking, “I would never do that!” The fact is, when emotion gets the better of us, we often become unreasonable and get caught up in the moment. For times such as these, here is some advice.
It is certainly within your power to never send another hostile e-mail again, whether initiating the e-mail or replying to one. A careful and thoughtful response to a hostile e-mail can make an exiting customer a loyal customer for life or a furious employee a respectful and productive staff member. Controlling your temper and sending only e-mails that use effective communication for persuasion will produce much more favorable results than those that use harsh criticism and vulgarities. Practice self-control when dealing with e-mail and remember Lincoln’s advice, “...a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”
After I had sold Adgrafix, my wife and I started the search for our dream summer home. After looking at dozens of homes, we started to become discouraged that our dream home was not out there. However, one day while riding our bikes in our favorite summer vacation spot, we found our dream home. The only problem was, the house was not for sale. We decided not to let a little thing such as that stop us. We wrote a quick note expressing our interest on a napkin we had, and then placed it in the screen door of the house. Two weeks later, we received a call from the homeowner’s real estate broker, and a month later the home was ours. For many wonderful years, my family and I have cherished the time we spent together in our dream summer home. If we had never asked the former owner if he were interested in selling his home, the home would never have been ours to enjoy.
A common characteristic of successful individuals is the ability, confidence, and courage to ask for what they want. Successful salespeople ask for the sale rather than waiting for the prospect to ask how to buy. Successful students ask questions about what they do not understand rather than just accepting the information presented. Successful singles ask for dates rather than stay at home and think about being on one. Successful people understand a basic, but all too overlooked truth: you must ask for things you want; very rarely will they just be given to you.
Why doesn’t everyone ask for things they want? The most common reason is the fear of rejection, which will be covered in detail in a future lesson. The second most common reason is that people assume others know what they want. The fact is, most of us are consumed with our own thoughts and desires and are not always thinking about what other people may want. This is not necessarily being egocentric; it is just being human. If you want something from someone, you can never really be sure the other person knows what you want unless you ask the other person for it.
When it comes to asking for what you want, don’t hold back. Those who are “lucky” in life simply ask for things they want more often. Do not fear rejection; have the confidence to ask for what you want. It is a simple but powerful truth of success: those who ask more often receive more.
Charles R. Schwab (1937–) is the founder, chairman of the board, and co-CEO of The Charles Schwab Corporation, which is one of the nation’s largest financial services firms.
Success is overcoming difficult odds. Despite his dyslexia, Schwab remained confident as a youth, never allowing his condition to get him down or stop him from succeeding at other tasks.
Success is having enthusiasm and arousing it in others. “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among men the greatest asset I possess. The way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement.” • “A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.”
Success is accepting help from others when needed. Thanks to high grades in math and science, Schwab entered Stanford University in 1955. As a freshman, he failed both French and English, but made it through his undergraduate years with the aid of understanding roommates and prepared notes.
Success is discovering your aptitude and focusing on your strengths. Schwab discovered his aptitude for economics and other business courses, which led to his earning a BA in Economics, in 1959. He went on to Stanford Graduate School of Business, where he received his MBA in 1961.
Success is striving to be your best. “Everyone’s got it in him, if he’ll only make up his mind and stick at it. None of us is born with a stop-valve on his powers or with a set limit to his capacities, There’s no limit possible to the expansion of each one of us.”
Success is not being afraid to take risks. In the early 70s, Schwab borrowed $100,000 from an uncle to start up a brokerage firm in San Francisco, called First Commander Corp.
Success is having vision and seeing it through. In 1974, Schwab’s company became the country’s first discount brokerage firm: Charles Schwab & Co., Inc. Schwab’s vision that the stock market should be accessible to everyone proved immensely popular and profitable.
Success is overcoming rejections. “I quickly learned that if I kept at it and plowed right through the rejections I would eventually get somebody to buy my wares.”
Success is helping others. Mr. Schwab is also chairman of the Charles and Helen Schwab Foundation, whose work is structured within two program areas, which each has a specific focus. The Learning Differences program area directly provides resources and guidance to children with learning differences and their parents through the operating program, Schwab Learning. The Human Services program area develops initiatives in issues that severely affect communities, specifically poverty, homelessness and substance abuse.
*Text taken from http://www.schwabfoundation.org
[Sources: http://jobs.schwab.com, http://www.schwabfoundation.org, http://www.aboutschwab.com]
During my latter years in college, I took a sales job with my sister and mother selling ads in a free magazine that was distributed in hospitals. Majoring in and having quite a strong aptitude for marketing, no matter how hard I tried, I could not help thinking how I was ripping off the businesses to whom I sold the ads. In my eyes, the concept was simple: approach the businesses who count on the local hospital for business, and insinuate that by taking an ad, they are doing the hospital a favor—in short, use deceptive marketing. Due to the responses from the advertisers and the renewal rates, I was quite sure that the ads did not work. Never before did I have such a strong fear of rejection. Needless to say, I did not do very well at the job, but looking back, the experience and lessons learned were priceless.
The fear of rejection, in this sense, refers to the rejection of an offer, as in asking for a date or asking for a sale. When a person fears rejection, they are not really not fearing the word “no,” they are fearing imagined or out of proportion consequences of the rejection. Asking the question, “What am I really fearing?” is a good start to overcoming fear of rejection. Here are some of the more common fears associated with rejection:
The fear of feeling embarrassed. Embarrassment is a physiological phenomenon that causes feelings of anxiety and discomfort that many would rather not have to experience. The simple way to avoid having this experience is to avoid potentially embarrassing situations. However, this leads to missed opportunities and only adds to your fear of rejection. Embarrassment is a feeling that only you can generate based on your perception of external situations. Learn to say, “So what?” and put situations in perspective.
If you cannot conquer the fear of embarrassment itself, ask yourself another question, “What am I afraid of that I will be embarrassed about?” and analyze each answer. For example, selling the ads for the hospital magazine I feared becoming embarrassed if the prospect asked me a question to which I did not know the answer. Back then, I would stutter, get all red, and say, “I’m not sure” and usually blow the sale. Now in sales, I make sure I am well prepared with answers to every possible question that is likely to be asked. When an odd question is asked that I do not have the answer to, I respond with confidence, “I do not have the answer to that right now but I could find it and get back to you.” Being prepared for all of the scenarios you can possibly be embarrassed about will almost certainly wipe away the fear of embarrassment.
The fear of what others will think of you. What will others think of you and your abilities if you are rejected? Will they have less confidence in you? Will they think you are a phony? Will they think you are a loser? Maybe. (I know... not the answer you wanted to hear.) First of all, who are “they”? If “they” are those close to you such as your family and true friends, they will certainly know you for who you are and not let their opinion of you be altered by one or many rejections. If “they” are strangers like a prospect, an audience, or the media, do you honestly care what they think of you? If you say yes, then realize there are over 7 billion people in this world. Should the opinions of a handful of strangers really mean that much to you? Do we think any less of stock market billionaire Warren Buffet because he was rejected from Harvard School of Business, or do we think less of Harvard?
The fear of facing a truth that you do not want to accept. While selling the ads for the hospital magazine, my biggest fear of rejection stemmed from not believing in the product. I felt that I was selling for one purpose only: to make money. I feared that those I was selling to would see this as well. As long as this did not happen, I could rationalize that if an advertiser received just one customer from their ad, it could pay for itself for the entire year. I knew if a prospect did bring up the deceptive marketing techniques used by the company and me, I would not be able to deny it, and I would be out of a job. Rather than attempt to convince myself that I was helping these businesses by selling them these ads, I chose to leave the company.
You are not the one being rejected. In most cases, it is your offer that is being rejected. When a single guy asks a girl out on a date, he is presenting the girl with an offer. It is the offer that the girl either accepts or rejects. If the guy feels he is being rejected too often, then he needs to “sweeten the deal,” perhaps by improving the quality of the conversation prior to the offer. (Note: if you are a guy and now asking, “What conversation?” you may need more help on this subject than I have to offer.)
If after questioning your true fears and doing your best to conquer them, you still feel the fear of rejection, then learn to see rejection as success. Here’s how: realize that a rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. If it takes ten cold calls to get one sale, then realize without the nine rejections you will not succeed in getting the sale. Now make it a game. Decrease the number of rejections it takes to get a success. To do this, learn from each rejection. Ask yourself, “Why was my offer rejected?” and, “What can I learn from this?” With each rejection, you can improve your chances of success.
It is not rejection itself that people fear; it is the possible consequences of rejection. Preparing to accept those consequences and viewing rejection as a learning experience that will bring you closer to success, will not only help you to conquer the fear of rejection, but help you to appreciate rejection itself.
I once read a very amusing e-mail proving that it would be a waste of Bill Gates’ time to bend down to pick up a $3000 bill if one existed. This is because his time, according to the math shown in the e-mail, is worth more than $3000 per second. In theory, this means it costs Bill Gates $90,000.00 just to pee and another $30,000.00 if he washes his hands. Of course, there are many false assumptions here but it does prove a good point: our time has monetary value, and there is a cost associated with everything we do. Besides, it sure does make an amusing story. :)
A common characteristic shared by most successful people is the value of time. Many wealthy people assign a value to their time and make decisions based on the monetary value of their time, or the opportunity cost. Successful people take it a step further; they understand the difference between immediate cost and long-term cost, and also factor enjoyment into the equation. Life is full of mundane tasks, and we all have the choice of doing them ourselves or seeking help. The successful individual knows how to make this choice.
What is the monetary value of your time? Here are three of the categories in which most working individuals fit.
Now that we have our approximate hourly worth, it is not difficult to put a value to life’s many tasks and chores. For example, a painter can give you an estimate of painting a room, and tell you how many hours it will take him. A house cleaner can tell you that she charges $20 per hour for cleaning services. A plumber, an accountant, and a lawyer can all give you their hourly rates as well.
Unfortunately, this is where most people stop and make their decision between doing something themselves or paying others to do it for them. The successful individual figures in these very important factors:
Consider the real costs involved in “doing it yourself” versus paying someone else, especially a professional, to do it for you. Professionals are often far more efficient at doing what they do and can free you from the often mundane and sometimes difficult chores in life. When it makes sense, spend your money on peace of mind by having a professional do the job they are best suited to do and spend your valuable time on your goals and life purpose.
In 1928, James E. West, the “Godfather” of the Boy Scouts, said, “...the Daily Good Turn is an important factor in the development of a habit of service and attitude of mind which offset a tendency to selfishness.” The Boy Scouts refer to good deeds and random acts of kindness as “good turns” and focus on the benefit of helping others by a selfless act. In fact, selflessness (not selfishness) is a common characteristic of both successful and happy people with benefits extending far beyond displaying mere selflessness itself.
A random act of kindness is something said or done to make another feel good while expecting nothing in return, not even gratitude. To be most effective, this act of kindness is done for someone just met or someone never met, thus the word “random.” A random act of kindness is neither a favor done for someone who asks, nor is it ever performed with resentment or hesitation. It is an act performed strictly for the good will of others in which the only reward to be expected is the good feeling generated from helping others.
Does the idea of performing one random act of kindness each day sound too idealistic? Why should you spend your valuable time helping someone else when you need help yourself? After all, you have to look out for yourself and your own family, right? Kindness does have its critics; there is no question about it. Since random kindness is so rare of a quality, many people suspect ulterior motives—the “What’s in it for you?” attitude. Others may respond negatively to a random act of kindness. I remember a scene in the opening credits of the ’70s sitcom, “The Odd Couple,” where Felix (Tony Randall) offers assistance to an elderly woman crossing a busy street, only to be hit by the woman in protest. There is risk involved in random kindness, and perhaps this risk keeps most people from performing random acts of kindness. However, successful people know how to manage risk and understand when the benefits outweigh the potential negatives.
Why spend your time performing random acts of kindness? Here are just some of the reasons:
A random act of kindness can be as simple as a quick praise or as grand as a million dollar donation. Here are a few of the several forms that a random act of kindness can take:
Perform at least one random act of kindness each day. At first, it may take effort, but very quickly it will become a habit and way of life. Living in this way will have significantly positive effects on your physical body, your mental and emotional well-being, and your very own success and happiness.
In the movie, You’ve Got Mail, Meg Ryan plays Kathleen Kelly, the owner of a small, children’s bookstore in a big city. Tom Hanks plays Joe Fox, an executive and heir to the Fox Books superstore empire, who opens one of his superstores in the same neighborhood. After months of fighting, picketing and protesting, Kathleen is forced to close the business that served the neighborhood for over 40 years. Joe was profiting from the book superstore trend while Kathleen was living in denial. Joe was a trend spotter, and Kathleen was a trend fighter.
In marketing, there are trends and there are fads. A trend is the general direction in which the market tends to move. This move is characterized by a new way of doing business, the changing needs of customers and/or a new product or style that makes an older product or style obsolete or near obsolete. A fad is a specific change in the market characterized by great enthusiasm and lasting only a short period. A trend usually does not generate as much enthusiasm and lasts significantly longer than a fad. The “Tickle Me Elmo”™ doll many years back was a fad. It was almost impossible to find one in the weeks before the 1996 holiday season; then sure enough, after the holiday rush, toy store shelves were overstocked with these annoying, overpriced false icons. Barbie®, on the other hand, is a trend that started in the 1960’s and is still going strong today.
Become a trend spotter, not a trend fighter. In business, you must adapt and work with trends to be successful. Knowing how to spot trends can give you an advantage over your competition, help you to save your business, or help you to become a millionaire. It is equally important to be able to spot the fads and know the difference between a fad and a trend. You can profit from fads providing you have a short-term strategy in mind or choose to ignore fads and choose not to sweat over the temporary impact they may have on your industry or business.
How to spot a trend, how to spot a fad, and how to tell the difference. Back in 1995, I was one of the fortunate people who immediately saw the Internet, not for what it was, but what it was going to be. The Internet is a trend that significantly changed the way we live. Although, at the time, there were some who called the Internet a fad and saw us moving back more toward a paper-dependent society. Since the future is unknown, I did consider the possibility that I could have been one of the many delusional people in business who refuse to recognize trends as fads, fads as trends, or accept trends or fads altogether, simply because they do not want to believe it. However, reflecting on this in 2015, I am pretty sure I was right. :)
Here are some suggestions to help you spot trends and fads and be able to tell the difference.
Spotting trends and fads in the marketplace, especially before others, can put your business ahead of the competition by putting you first in the minds of the consumers. By spotting trends and fads as an individual, you can act on new opportunities that can bring you success beyond your wildest dreams.
Ralph Lauren (1939–) is the founder and chairman of the Polo Ralph Lauren Corporation—a leader in the design, marketing, and distribution of premium lifestyle products.
Success is not something into which you are born. Born in the Bronx, New York, Ralph Lauren has come a long way from his days of sharing a bedroom with two of his brothers.
Success is knowing what’s in a name. Ralph knew that people would have a problem wearing apparel with the name “Lifshitz” on them; thus he went from the Bronx’s “Ralph Lifshitz” to the fashion industries “Ralph Lauren.” Lauren then founded the company Polo Fashions in 1968. He chose the name “Polo” because of the power, style and intrigue with which the brand has always been associated.
Success is often the result of two or more specialties. Ralph studied business at City College in Manhattan. Although he never attended any fashion schools, his keen sense of fashion and passion for the industry gave him his advantage in fashion. With his fashion sense and a knack for business, Ralph went on to become a success.
Success is working for experience, not just for money. While attending night school, Ralph would work by day at two glove companies as a salesman. He then worked for a tie manufacturer named A. Rivetz & Co., which ultimately led to the fashion empire he leads today.
Success is sticking with what you know is right, no matter what the initial cost. In the late 60s, while Lauren was trying to develop his line of wide ties, Bloomingdale’s insisted Lauren remove his name from the ties’ label and make his ties narrower. Lauren refused to sell to the department store under such circumstances. Bloomingdale’s eventually agreed to Lauren’s terms after seeing the brand’s huge success.
Success is selling ideas, not products. Polo sells a lifestyle image of sophistication, class and taste; not mere apparel.
Success is packaging and presentation. Lauren knew that an innovative mind was not enough; it would take creative packaging and persuasive presentation for his product line to take off.
Success is not perfect. Michael Gross is the author of Ralph Lauren’s biography “Genuine Authentic.” In this book, he describes the life of a man that is far from perfect and not quite the same as the public image Lauren projects.
Success is following your passion, not your mother’s. Despite Ralph’s tremendous success and contribution to the world through his fashion and philanthropic activities, it is rumored that his mother is still quite upset that he did not become a rabbi.
[Sources: http://www.askmen.com, http://about.polo.com]
I have recently been reading about riots taking place in Boston and New York, due to the 2003 Red Sox/Yankees playoffs. For the most part, these are grown men causing each other physical injury all because some believe, “Sox rule!” and others believe, “Yanks rule!” Not showing respect for another’s opinion is not only a faux pas, but can, and often does, lead to anxiety, tension, failed relationships, and even unlawful actions.
An opinion is a belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof. Of course, positive knowledge and proof are debatable, and with a good argument, fact can be seen as fiction. In Day 149, you read how to properly state your opinions and beliefs to avoid argument and conflict. However, many people do not show such tact and state their beliefs and opinions as fact. It is up to you to differentiate an opinion from a fact or at least question a statement if you are unsure. If someone tells you that Elvis, the king of rock and roll, is still alive, you may ask, “How do you know that?” A response such as, “I read it in the World Weekly News” will hopefully make it clear that the person is not stating a fact.
Once you know that someone has stated an opinion, you have four basic options: you can a) accept the opinion and keep quiet, b) state your own opinion, c) express your agreement with the opinion, or d) express your disagreement with the opinion. In any case, you should show respect for the opinion. The best way to do this is by realizing that if you had the experiences and information, and you were in the same situation as the one stating the opinion, you would most likely have the same opinion. Respect the person for taking a stance and having enough courage to share the opinion. Never tell someone stating an opinion that he or she is wrong—this is effective communication suicide.
Accepting an opinion and keeping quiet. If you accept another’s opinion, you are not agreeing with it, but more important, you are not expressing your disapproval of it. An example is asking someone his or her favorite color. Unless someone’s favorite color happens to be puke green, very few people would express their disapproval. If someone has an opinion different from yours, this is most often the best course of action to take unless you have a good reason for wanting to change the opinion of the other person.
Stating your own opinion. It is generally considered rude to offer your opinion unless asked. Stating your opinion that contradicts the opinion just shared causes tension and awkwardness. If you feel it necessary to state your own opinion, follow the advice below under “expressing your disagreement with the opinion.”
Expressing your agreement with the opinion. Whenever possible in conversation, express your sincere agreement with another’s opinion. This is a great rapport-building strategy.
Expressing your disagreement with the opinion. Disagreeing with others is a sure way to lose good rapport. Disagreement causes defensiveness: a physiological and psychological reaction, which tightens up the muscles in one’s body and causes the person to be less open to influence. Do you really feel disagreeing is necessary? What will you hope to accomplish by expressing your disagreement? If you honestly feel that you must express your disagreement, start by asking questions about why the other person feels as they do. How did they form the opinion? What facts do they have if any, to support their opinion? Ask these questions out of curiosity and with an open mind, not with resentment or disbelief. Once you have a better idea of how the opinion was formed, you can once again choose to accept it or agree with it, without ever having had to disagree with it.
The fact is, most people can have different opinions and still go on living in harmony. It is the difference of opinions that causes conflicting actions or behaviors that must be addressed by influence and persuasion. Keep an open mind and listen to the reasoning of the other person. Question your own opinions and show respect for the opinions of others.
Growing up, I lived in a middle-class neighborhood, in a middle-class house. The area in which I lived was very economically diverse. One town south there were neighborhoods where one would be shot at just by driving through, and one town west was where some of the wealthiest people in the country called home. Exposure to these extremes taught me to be grateful for all I did have as well as showed me the possibility of living abundantly.
Why is it that the majority of those raised in economically depressed environments continue to spend their adult lives in the same environment? Why is it that the majority of children of wealthy parents grow up to be wealthy themselves or at least well off financially? Most would agree that those brought up in wealthy households have certain advantages that others do not have. Some of these advantages are superior schooling, job opportunities, good role models, and perhaps financial assistance from parents. One of the greatest advantages, however, that is most often overlooked is the desire and passion for the child to maintain the quality lifestyle that he or she is accustomed to living. Fortunately, for those of us not raised in a wealthy environment, this desire and passion can be created.
Each one of us has our own perspective on the world in which we live. Those who live, work and play in a depressed town tend to view the world in much of the same way. Our attitudes and views on life tend to be more local than global. Even if we cannot immediately change where we live, work or play; we can immediately change our perspective of the world. By doing this, we create the desire and passion needed to aggressively pursue a higher standard of living for our families and ourselves.
There are many ways of changing our perspective on our world. We do this by giving ourselves a taste of the “good life.” Here are some of the ways:
The more real these experiences are, the more powerful they are. For example, a walk through a really nice neighborhood with multi-million dollar homes will make a greater impression than seeing the same homes in a magazine.
Although exposing yourself to the “good life” every now and then may cost money and seem like a waste of money, consider it an investment in yourself and your future. Dare to dream and see for yourself what is possible.
I wish I knew in my school years what I know today about the importance of a good vocabulary. Back then, when teachers gave us scores of words to learn, all I could think about was the fact that I had never heard any of these words spoken by my peers. To me, they were just words randomly interjected into our readings so we could be tricked into thinking that they were important. I never realized this one important fact: as my peers began to learn these new words, they began to use them, which left me “below the curve.” I was only thinking about my present and not my future. Many adults don't bother to increase their vocabulary for the same reason.
Nobody really knows for sure how many words there are in the English language because several sources do not seem to agree on what constitutes a word. However, the estimates I have seen suggest there are between 500,000 and 1,000,000 words. David Crystal, in the Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language, suggests that the average active (used, not just recognized) vocabulary for a college graduate might be 60,000 words. This means to have a firm grasp of the English language we just need to learn about 10% of all the available words in the English language and not worry about the other 90%.
So why is having a good vocabulary important to your success? In short, if you speak like an idiot, people will treat you like one. I am not saying this is right since it is a form of prejudice; however, it does happen in both personal and professional situations. Here are a few more reasons directly related to your success:
Bookstores and libraries are full of vocabulary building courses. However, these courses all lack one important ingredient: focus on the words that will be beneficial to your specific needs and goals. For example, I recently completed an audio course on communication in which over one hour was focused on learning the collective nouns for animals. I do not think I will ever in my lifetime need to say, “Hey look! There goes a crash of rhinoceros.” Before making the effort to increase your vocabulary, make sure you have your long-term goals in mind. Learn the vocabulary, terms, and jargon that will help bring you closer to your goals. For example, if you are currently a mechanic but your ambition is to become a doctor, then learn to speak and write like a doctor. By focusing on learning words relevant to your current and future environments, you can appear more learned while not wasting your time memorizing words you are unlikely to ever use or hear.
Another tip for expanding your vocabulary is to look up unfamiliar words as you encounter them; you are much more likely to remember words this way rather than memorizing random words that have no specific meaning to you at the time.
A word of caution... perhaps the biggest vocabulary blunder one can make is not misusing or misspelling words, but abusing them by trying to impress others with his or her vocabulary rather than focusing on effective communication. It is more important to build a strong rapport with your audience by using words you are quite sure they understand. When you must use a word you feel they might not understand, define it for them. This is especially helpful when using technical terms or industry jargon. Effective communication is about sharing ideas in a way that best translates one’s thoughts into a form of communication that others can understand. Effective communication will get you much further than an extensive vocabulary ever will, and the overuse of complex words can make you seem pretentious.
The goal of expanding your vocabulary should be to lift you slightly above the crowd without losing the audience in words unfamiliar to them. You should be able to understand and use the words and terms encountered in your daily life, as well as prepare yourself by learning the vocabulary needed to bring you closer to your goals. Expand your vocabulary and expand your opportunities.
Many years ago I was watching infomercials, as I often did, and came across one of a guy selling a program that teaches others how to become rich by placing ads in newspapers. This guy, although filled with enthusiasm, made some grammatical errors on his short infomercial that, for me, were more painful to listen to than fingernails scratching a chalkboard. He said things such as, “Alls you have to do is...” and “Let me ax you a question....” Two months later, after seeing his new infomercial, sans grammatical errors, I knew that others had taken offense to his mistakes as well.
I know I am not alone in being offended, or at least turned off, by grammatical errors. How do I know this? Just about every day while I was creating the first Year To Success on-line course, I received an e-mail from a member of Y2S, who disagreed with my use of the English language. I will say that most of the e-mails I received were corrections of careless errors made by me, in my pursuit to keep up with my strict and self-imposed schedule. However, I did, and still do, get the occasional, belligerent e-mail from an expert in linguistics criticizing my style of writing. In fact, one former member took the time to rewrite one of my lessons and pointed out over 30 “mistakes.” When he was done with the lesson, it read more like a sixteenth century Shakespearean poem than what it was meant to be—a lesson written in informal American English to capture and maintain the interest of the readers. Good grammar can be subjective and quite debatable at times; however, bad grammar is far more obvious and should always be avoided.
Many of the benefits of using good grammar are the same as having a good vocabulary, the most important one being effective communication. Grammatical errors in both speaking and writing can distract from the message itself and cause negative feelings in the listener or reader. Avoiding grammatical errors can help you avoid low grades, lost employment opportunities, lost business, and embarrassment.
There is standard and nonstandard English, American and British (Queen’s) English, spoken and written English, and informal and formal English. Each style follows the same general rules but has its distinct differences. The key to good grammar is knowing when to use which style and being able to defend your reasoning. When it comes to standard versus nonstandard English, use nonstandard English only when you intend to, not because you do not know the difference.
Bookstores, public libraries, and the Internet are full of information on proper use of grammar. Take some time to read the books, listen to the audio programs, visit the websites, and work on your grammar skills. You will find yourself the recipient of higher grades, more job opportunities, more business, less embarrassment, and more success.
Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) was a pioneer in public speaking and personality development. Dale Carnegie influenced millions of people and helped define the industry now known as “self-help.”
Success begins with failure. Dale failed at almost everything he did including farming, teaching, sales, acting and novel writing. His persistence in pursuing his passion eventually led him to write “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” which to date has sold over 30 million copies worldwide.
Success is having self-confidence. Dale’s success philosophy centers on building and reinforcing self-confidence. His career began by teaching a public speaking course at a local YMCA. When the YMCA was hesitant about giving him the salary of $2 per night, he had enough confidence in himself to suggest he work on commission instead. He was soon making $30 per night.
Success is knowing how to deal with people. “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”
Success is having a positive influence on others. Over 50 million copies of his books have sold and have been translated into just about every language. His training courses, which are still thriving today, have trained over 7 million people.
Success is learning from others. Mr. Carnegie developed his success philosophy by studying people who he admired most. His books include many stories about Abe Lincoln, Ben Franklin, Andrew Carnegie (no relation), and others.
Success is taking chances. “Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.”
Success is overcoming fears. Carnegie was very shy, which is quite a handicap to a professional public speaker. However, he believed in confronting his fears and not being discouraged by initial failures. “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”
Success is acting on opportunity. Dale wrote his best seller initially because, at the time, there wasn’t a textbook on which he could rely.
Success is making the world a better place. “You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.dale-carnegie.com, Investor’s Business Daily, Oct 24, 2001]
I’ll never forget the first spam I received. It was in the summer of 1995 when I had my first e-mail account with a company called Netcom. I remember being so excited and so intrigued that someone from across the country found me and wanted to sell me something. However, I was not interested in hair loss cream so I politely responded to their e-mail thanking them for their offer and explaining to the merchant that I was only 23 years old and was not in need of such a product. In 1995, since spam was fairly rare, this was actually not a bad way to deal with spam. Today, however, spam has evolved from a harmless sales pitch to a global epidemic that is responsible for increased levels of anger and billions of dollars of lost productivity.
What is spam? Ask ten different people, and you will get ten different answers. At one extreme, spam can be defined as any unsolicited e-mail. This means, unless the person you are sending an e-mail to is expecting it or has asked for it, it is spam. At the other extreme, spam is mass e-mail sent to a list of e-mail addresses that have not agreed to receive solicitations, all containing the same message sent in an attempt to sell something. In our hosting companies’ policies, we define spam as the sending of e-mails in bulk (the same message sent to two or more addresses) to persons or organizations with which the sender had no prior dealings. Even our definition leaves some questions to be answered, but we feel it is unfair to inhibit business due to a strict definition.
So what does spam have to do with your success? Much more than most people think. According to a survey of our own Y2S members, the average member spends about 15 minutes a day dealing with spam. This includes setting spam filters, downloading and reading spam, reporting and responding to spam, and removing viruses due to spam. Fifteen minutes a day equals almost 8 hours a month—that is a full workday of productivity lost. The actual time lost is even more, however. Imagine trying to get a sound sleep and being awakened dozens of times throughout the night. The effects of the interruption of spam throughout the workday are not all that different. There is also an emotional side to the effects of spam. Spam often angers, and even infuriates, those who receive it. This feeling of anger distracts from the focus of the productive work itself. Being able to manage spam effectively, and your anger associated with spam, will help you to increase your productivity, which is a large part of success.
The first step is to accept spam as part of the Internet. Consider it cyberspace’s version of the annoying flyer on the windshield. Realize that you cannot eliminate spam (without risking losing legitimate e-mail), but you can greatly reduce it. Do not get angry over it, just accept it. Never allow a random message sent to you take away from your happiness, no matter what the content may be.
Here are some tips on both minimizing the amount of spam that finds its way to your mailbox and minimizing the amount of time spent dealing with spam:
Once again, your goal should be to minimize the amount of spam you receive, not eliminate it. Eliminating spam is a pipe dream that will only cause you the loss of legitimate e-mail and potential business.
It is important to know spammer’s “tricks of the trade.” These are tricks used by spammers to prevent them from being shut down, get the attention of readers, build more qualified lists, and prevent spam filters from detecting their messages. Spammers rely on deceptive practices to increase the odds that their messages will be read. Much of the deception turns into outright fraud when it comes to the offer. Learn the following “tricks” and save yourself countless hours of dealing with spam.
In addition to the many deceptions you should be aware of, here are a few serious scams that frequently appear.
Common sense should be used where rules do not exist. There are many scams sent by spam today so use your common sense to determine for yourself what is a scam.
I have been criticized by others in the past for having too liberal of a policy in dealing with spam. This is because I choose not to be an activist on the subject. Each person only has so much time to spend, and he or she must focus energies on causes that are most important to him or her. For me, it is sharing success, not fighting spam. If spam is a cause you feel is worth fighting for, then there is much more you can do than just hitting the delete key. To learn more about fighting spam, please visit http://spam.abuse.net.
Every minute you spend in your life is either spent bringing you closer to your goals or moving you away from your goals. Unless your goals include fighting spam, time spent dealing with spam is wasted time that you can never get back. Don’t allow yourself to get angered by spam. Use the advice in this lesson to create your own method of dealing with spam and spend the time you save working on your goals.
Did you ever find yourself asking why the town does not “do something” about the busy intersection, or why your Internet service provider does not “do something” about preventing downtime, or have you found yourself identifying any problem to which you are not offering a better solution? We all have. In general, people tend to say what is wrong with the world but very few offer suggestions on how to improve it. Even fewer people will ever take action to do anything about it. In general life situations, this is acceptable. After all, the town does not rely on its citizens to plan intersections. In business, however, more should be expected from, and offered by, an organization’s team members in the form of active problem solving.
Many people who work within an organization wear two hats: 1) they are a member of an organization in which there are one or more leaders and 2) they are a leader to one or more other members of the organization. Typically, this is the employee/manager relationship. As an employee, it may be common practice to bring problems to your manager’s attention. As a success-oriented employee, don’t just point out the problem, do your best to solve the problem. Doing this without being asked will demonstrate your creativity and willingness to go the extra mile. As a manager or business owner, you should require that all those who report to you carefully consider the problem and possible solutions before bringing the problem to your attention. The benefits of taking this approach to solving business problems are:
What does “carefully considering problems” mean? If you are to implement a policy in your business for solving problems, it is best to give clear directions on what should be done. Here is a six step process you can adopt for carefully considering problems and offering solutions.
In implementing this policy of problem solving, you do not want to discourage problems from being brought to your attention. You may find that some employees would rather look the other way than take the time to go through this six-step process. To minimize the possibility of this happening, be sure you make it a point to reward those who do take the time to go through this process with positive public attention, gratitude, or even prizes.
Employees who take it upon themselves to solve problems are more often looked at for advancement within the organization. Managers and business owners who encourage problem solving at the employee level have more productive and more satisfied employees. Implement these six steps to solving problems in business and enjoy the success that comes to you as a result.
Perhaps one of the most famous disciplinarians in history was Mike Brady, from the ’70s sitcom “The Brady Bunch.” In just about every episode, he would lecture one or more of his kids, with his lovely hair-of-gold wife by his side. Mike may be one of the most famous disciplinarians, but his use of the contradicting “but” and “however” sure left a lot to be desired.
The word “but” has many valuable uses in both formal and informal English. Unfortunately, however, many use this word when they are criticizing or giving feedback. Most people are so used to it; they can “feel” a “but” coming. It is usually detected by somber, stern or reluctant praise or good news. The “but” that follows, then takes the attention off of the positive and puts the focus on the negative, in most cases, turning the overall tone of the message, or the message deliverer, negative.
The words “but,” “however,” or any other contradictory word or phrase used in criticism or while giving feedback, does one or more of the following:
So how does one give feedback while avoiding contradictory terms or phrases? Substitute the word “and” to replace the “stick” with the “carrot” while rephrasing the statement to be more positive. It also helps to end with a positive and encouraging comment.
Here are several examples of this principle:
No: Jan, we know you love your sister, but it is not right to be jealous of her.
Yes: Jan, we know you love your sister, and being supportive of her rather than jealous of her, will show her and the rest of the world what a great person your mom and I know you are.
No: Greg, your mom and I appreciate what you did for your sister, but it is not right to lie.
Yes: Greg, your mom and I appreciate what you did for your sister. Next time, use that groovy head of yours and find a better way to help others without lying.
No: Cindy, we appreciate you sharing things with us; however, tattling is just not right.
Yes: Cindy, we appreciate you sharing things with us, especially when it is information others don’t mind you sharing and did not ask you to keep a secret.
No: Alice, we really do like your cooking, but do you think we can have anything but red meat at least once per month?
Yes: Alice, you certainly are a master at preparing red meat. We would love to see what you can do with some chicken and pork dishes.
In just about every situation, you can get the same message across in a positive way, rather than leaving the person with an overall negative feeling that he or she has just been criticized by avoiding using the word “but” and by keeping the overall tone positive. Giving feedback in this way may not seem as natural and will take some practice and thought; however, it will soon become second nature.
Sir Richard Branson (1950-) is best known as the flamboyant British billionaire who started Virgin records but widely diversified in many businesses.
Success is a result of helping others. Richard started a Student Advisory Centre at age 17, aiming to help young people. This initial display of entrepreneurship was the beginning of his many great successes.
Success is expanding on what you know. At twenty years old, Branson founded Virgin as a mail order record retailer and a short while later, he opened a record shop in Oxford Street, London. In 1972, he expanded to build a recording studio in Oxfordshire.
Success is recognizing talent. The first album of Virgin Records went on to sell more than five million copies. The instrumental artist Mike Oldfield’s “Tubular Bells” released in 1973 was a cash cow for Branson’s Virgin Records, and it stayed in the UK music charts for 247 weeks. At the age of 27, Richard signed The Sex Pistols to the Virgin Records label after the group was turned down by every label in Great Britain. Over the years, he signed many superstar names including Steve Winwood, Paula Abdul, Belinda Carlisle, Genesis, Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel, Simple Minds, The Human League, Bryan Ferry, Culture Club, Janet Jackson, and The Rolling Stones.
Success is knowing when to cash in. In 1992, the Virgin Music Group—record labels, music publishing, and recording studios—was sold to Thorn EMI in a $1 billion US deal.
Success is diversification. The interests of Virgin Group have since expanded into international “Megastore” music retailing, books and software publishing, film and video editing facilities, and clubs and hotels throughout 100 companies in 15 countries.
Success is excellence. Virgin Atlantic Airways, started in 1984, is now the second largest British long haul international airline and operates a fleet of Boeing 747 aircrafts to New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Orlando, Boston, San Francisco, Washington, Dallas, and Tokyo.
Success is continuing to help others. In addition to his own business activities, Branson is a trustee of several charities, including The Healthcare Foundation, a leading healthcare charity responsible for the launch of a health education campaign named Parents Against Tobacco, aiming to limit tobacco advertisements and sponsorships in sports.
Success is being passionate about life. Since 1985, Branson has been getting his adrenaline rushes through world record-breaking attempts by boat and hot air balloon. • “Sometimes I do wake up in the mornings and feel like I’ve just had the most incredible dream. I’ve just dreamt my life.”
Success is about balance. “Ridiculous yachts and private planes and big limousines won’t make people enjoy life more, and it sends out terrible messages to the people who work for them. It would be so much better if that money was spent in Africa–and it’s about getting a balance.”
Success is having a good sense of humor. “With the casino and the beds, our passengers will have at least two ways to get lucky on one of our flights.”
[Sources: http://www.virgin.com, http://www.woopidoo.com, http://www.askmen.com]
I recently got a call from my brother whose website we host. He asked me how he can see statistics on an audio file that was being accessed using a URL that was bypassing his domain (for those of you who have no idea what I just said, substitute “He asked me a favor”). I told him these statistics were kept in a file he could not access—rejection #1. He then asked me how he could get access to this file. I told him there was no way to give him access to this file—rejection #2. He then asked if it is at all possible for him to see these statistics. I told him there is always a way, but it would be time-consuming and costly to have a script made to do what he needs—rejection #3. Then he simply said, “Can you think of any way you can help me?” Not being one to walk away from an intellectual challenge, I immediately came up with a solution that took only seconds to implement for him. Result: he was grateful, and I was happy I could help him with something that meant so much to him. My brother reminded me of one of the most important and practical principles of success: one must often go through three rejections to get a “yes.”
In this context, I am using the term “rejection” to also mean “objection.” However, a rejection is most often in the form of a “no” type answer, whereas an objection is usually a statement stating why the offer cannot be accepted. An objection should normally not be seen as a rejection; it is nothing more than a request for more information. Not accepting a rejection is not being pushy; it is being persistent. It is not about being aggressive, but being assertive. Most people quit at the first rejection, but it is the small percentage who persist by not accepting the first three rejections and find success.
Why “give up” at rejection number four? Isn’t persistence the key to success? Persistence is a key to success, but so is knowing when to move on. Three appears to be the magic number when it comes to rejections and the turning point in the perspective of the person to whom the offer is being made. Rejection number one is generally reactionary; that is, the person has not really thought about the offer. Rejections number two and three are most often objections or requests for more information. Upon rejection number four, it is best to accept the fact that the other person is not ready or willing to accept your offer. From here, you can choose to a) retreat for now, but get more information, modify your offer, or reevaluate your presentation for presenting your offer to the same person or b) move on to the next person. In either case, be sure to thank the person sincerely for their time or part ways in such a way that displays no resentment or ill feelings.
Although I am not comfortable citing any statistics on the success of this principle in action, due to all the unknown variables, I would be willing to wager that anyone adopting this principle who usually accepts the first rejection, will see at least a 50% increase in accepted offers. This applies to the salesperson selling a product, the entrepreneur selling an idea, the single person selling him or herself (in a non-prostitution sense), and in any other situation where one is presenting an offer to another.
It is important to emphasize that this principle applies to an individual offer. It is not about quitting after receiving four different rejections from four different people. Not accepting a rejection may feel awkward at first, since most of us were brought up being told, “No means no!” However, remember to counter the first three rejections, rather than accepting them. Do not take “no” for an answer, unless it is “no” #4.
The story of John D. Rockefeller, nineteenth century oil industry billionaire, is one of the most compelling stories demonstrating both the destructive effects of worry and the dramatic positive effects that managing worry can have. By age 53, Rockefeller was reported to have looked as if he were 103. He was living on liquid meals because his stomach could not take solid foods. He was well known at that time for being one of the meanest, most miserable men in business. Fortunately for Rockefeller, and for the world, he followed his doctor’s advice of removing worry from his life, lived to age 98, and became one of the greatest philanthropists of all time. Preventing worry could have made Rockefeller’s first half of his life as enjoyable and rewarding as his second half.
People literally worry their lives away. Besides the severe mental and emotional consequences of worry, worry has also been linked to lethargy, headaches, insomnia, and even death. In fact, doctors often prescribe solutions to manage worry as treatment for patients who display one or more of the many physical symptoms of worry. Over the counter and prescription drugs may help with the symptoms, but it takes a change in attitude to eliminate the cause. Do not permit worry to send you to an early grave.
It has been said, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” This is very true when it comes to worry. Worry is a habit and like all bad habits, it can be broken. The best way to break the habit of worry is by learning to prevent worry. Preventing worry can be as easy as changing your state of mind—seeing situations from a different perspective. It is making use of your positive mental attitude.
Here are some suggestions on how you can stop worry before it even starts:
If you suffer from worry, you are not alone. Nearly every individual in the world has worries despite their financial situation, age, sex, or race. Worry is not caused by external events or situations; it is caused by one’s own interpretation of those events or situations. Prevent worry by maintaining a positive mental attitude and by realizing that worry will do nothing for you but send you to an early grave.
At age 53, John D. Rockefeller made the wisest decision of his life by choosing to manage worry rather than accepting an early death. In the many years that followed, John D. no longer let the little things in life trouble him, he let go of his greed by giving away fortunes and he learned to accept the inevitable. He summed it up in a poem he wrote on his 86th birthday:
I was early taught to work as well as play,
My life has been one long, happy holiday,
Full of work and full of play –
I dropped the worry on the way –
And God was good to me every day.
Some “experts” proclaim that worry is not all bad. They say that worry pushes us to get things done and make positive changes in our lives. Worry, they say, has been the force behind many of civilization’s advancements. I believe that this force being referred to is not worry, but motivation. People can be motivated by worry just as horses can be motivated with whips. However, worry does far more emotional and physical damage than a few lashings of a whip. Bypass the worry altogether and use one of the many other emotions for self-motivation.
Even if you are one who feels worry is a powerful motivator in your life, then consider the following: it has been said that over 90% of worries are unjustified, that is, completely without benefit. These types of worries fall into one or more of these three categories:
If the goal was to eliminate MOST of our worries, we could stop there. But our real goal should be to eliminate all of our worries. This is not the same as never worrying again; it is about devoting the time to eliminating our worries when they first become worries. I have adapted what I believe to be the best of over a dozen techniques to create the following multi-step process for eliminating worries.
It is probable that through this process you will end up eliminating the worry before you complete all the steps. This is fine! The point of the exercise is to eliminate the worry, not to complete all the steps of the process.
A final suggestion is to keep a separate section in your success journal entitled, “Worries.” Here list all of your worries on an ongoing basis. What will happen is you will review your earlier worries when entering new ones and you will begin to realize that it was foolish to worry about such things. As you start to master both preventing and eliminating worry, you will no longer need to make any entries in this section.
The great American poet, Robert Frost, summed it up best when he said, “The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” Do not allow yourself to be a victim of worry. Break the worry habit today and face life’s challenges head on.
Sometimes your most valuable contacts in life can be the least likely ones. In 1995, when I started our first web hosting company, we had this customer who ran a Russian dating service. His web designer eventually came to work with us, and then left to start his own web hosting business. I kept in contact and maintained a good relationship with him. Several years later, that web designer introduced me to the company that would eventually buy my company for 20 million dollars. Years earlier, I never would have suspected that an 18-year-old web designer of a Russian dating service website would ever end up being one of my most valuable contacts.
A key contact is someone who may be able to help you succeed either directly (by his or her own efforts or resources) or indirectly (by one or more of his or her own contacts). On average, each person knows about 100 other people. Having 100 key contacts is like having 10,000 contacts. Do not confuse a key contact with a prospect—they are very different. You do not solicit a key contact; a key contact solicits for you. Salespeople find prospects and millionaires find key contacts.
Besides building a valuable asset by creating a network of people who may be able to help you in your pursuit of success, you also get the benefit of meeting new people and being an interesting conversationalist. When you make a key contact, get as much information as you can about them. Since people like talking about themselves, you will be well received by people you meet.
Success comes as a result of proper building, maintaining, and working your key contacts.
Building. Begin building your key contact list by listing all of the key contacts you currently have. Get out a pen and paper and think of every potential key contact you have. Next, you will want to enter the information in one of the many contact software packages available. Each record should be as detailed as possible. Most important, list the key contact’s assets. I am not referring to their house, cars and stocks, but their assets that can be of possible benefit to you—such as their contacts in a certain industry.
Finding new key contacts is about being as sociable as possible on a professional level and thinking of each key contact as a rung on your ladder of success. Your goal is not to sell a product or even yourself, but to learn about the other person.
The chances are, your information on most of your key contacts will be far from complete. The important information is their name, e-mail, and assets. A phone number, website, and birth date can also be helpful. Show tact when asking key contacts for this information. People generally do not like being “databased” and may react unfavorably to being asked this information. Here are some suggestions for getting this information from both existing and new key contacts:
Maintaining. Chances are, new people you meet will quickly forget about you unless you keep regular contact with them. After making a new key contact, the first thing you should do is send that person a “nice meeting you” e-mail summarizing your conversation. Not only will this help the other person to remember you better, but it will give the other person your e-mail address.
When possible, send a personal e-mail wishing the contact a happy birthday. A quick, personal e-mail is much more meaningful than an on-line greeting card, which is usually full of ads. At the very least, send your contacts a holiday greeting via a personal e-mail every holiday season. It’s a good idea to keep the holiday wishes general to show your sensitivity to people’s different beliefs and their non-beliefs.
Send your key contacts articles or other information that would be of interest to them, based on what you know about the key contact. Do not spam your key contacts with general information or possibly offensive e-mails that frequently circulate on the Internet. And perhaps most important, avoid mass mailing to your entire list. This can ruin your credibility and result in your key contacts asking to be “removed from your list.”
Working. Eventually, there will come a time when you will need to work your list of key contacts. Working your list refers to approaching one or more of the key contacts on your list with a proposition; it is not about asking favors. Always keep in mind that they are concerned about what is in it for them, not about what they can do for you. If you want something from a key contact, whether it is a sale or a recommendation, be sure you are selling that key contact on the benefits to him or her. The benefits could simply be the good feeling they get by connecting you to one of their contacts to create a win-win situation. Always be sure to show gratitude to those key contacts who help you for these reasons.
Should friends and/or family be considered key contacts? It all depends on how you feel doing business with them. If a family member or friend is not as forgiving or understanding as you may be, or is likely to feel resentment if a business dealing does not go as expected, it is best not to consider that person a key contact.
Key contacts will prove over time to be one of your most valuable assets; they are the doorways to opportunity. Never underestimate the value of a key contact or base their value on their current situation. All people change, and some will find success of their own. Who knows, the 16-year-old cashier at your local grocery store may be the one who leads you to your fortune!
John H. Johnson (1918–2005) was CEO and chairman of Johnson Publishing company. John H. Johnson rose from the welfare rolls of the depression to become the most successful black businessman in American history; the founder of EBONY, and JET magazines; a member of the FORBES 400.
Success is actively seeking opportunity. Like many African-American people living in the south in the 1930’s, the Johnson’s heard that there were more opportunities in the north and made the move.
Success is seeking knowledge and inspiration. Mr. Johnson was said to have read and been inspired by the writings of success authors since he was a teenager; including the works of Dale Carnegie.
Success is doing your best because you never know who may be watching. Mr. Johnson proved to be an excellent student in high school. Because of his achievements, in 1936, Mr. Johnson was invited to speak at a dinner held by the Urban League. The President of the Supreme Liberty Life Insurance Company was so impressed with Mr. Johnson’s speech that he offered him a job and a scholarship to attend college part-time.
Success is taking risks. Mr. Johnson ended up borrowing $500 from the Citizens Loan Corporation to start Johnson Publishing, using his mother’s furniture as collateral.
Success is a direct result of helping others. Mr. Johnson’s magazine, then called Negro Digest, was a magazine for giving hope to others, by documenting stories of successful African-Americans.
Success is modeling success. Modeled after Life and Look, Mr. Johnson’s magazine aimed to tell the story of Black America in words and pictures.
Success is persistence. Mr. Johnson’s persistence helped him to get the then first lady Eleanor Roosevelt to write an article for his magazine. The sensation this article created caused the magazine’s circulation to double almost overnight.
Success is knowing how to influence people. “When I go in to see people—and I sell an occasional ad now—I never say, ’Help me because I am black’ or ’Help me because I am a minority.’ I always talk about what we can do for them...”
Success is loving what you do. At age 85 in 2003, Mr. Johnson was still the active chairman of Johnson Publishing. “Retirement is not in this company’s vocabulary. If you are well and able to work, you can stay at the company and that’s what I plan to do.” And he did.
[Sources: http://www.johnsonpublishing.com, http://www.howard.edu]
Since 1994, the Internet, specifically the World Wide Web (or just “Web”) has been constantly evolving to what it is today: a virtual global marketplace, information and education center, and communication network. The Internet has dramatically changed the way we work. In this new era, anyone with a computer and an Internet connection, despite sex, race, age, financial status, and physical limitations has the same opportunities to find success with the help of the Internet. However, many people are intimidated by the Internet and limit their own success. Knowing and understanding a few basic principles can help you take full advantage of the power of the Web and help you in your journey of success.
There are billions of public web pages on the Internet. Most of the content is garbage, but even the tiny percentage that is useful still accounts for much more information than one would find in the largest of libraries. There are more products for sale than one would find in all the world’s malls combined, and more opportunities than one would find in all the help wanted sections from every Sunday paper in the world combined. It is not hard to see what a major role the Web can play in our success. Specifically:
Unfortunately, the Web, like the real world, has it evils as well. These evils keep many people from embracing the power of the Web. The good news is that these evils of the Web can easily be avoided or ignored with a little education. Here are some tips, suggestions, and insights coming from a guy who has been living the majority of his conscious life in this virtual world since 1995.
As a general rule of thumb, when you pay for a product or service you do not have to be concerned about any of the above. However, if you are searching for something for nothing, do your homework and search for privacy statements, FAQs, or other publicized assurances that your information will be kept private.
The benefits of the Web far exceed its evils. Pretty much, the worst that can happen is your credit card number might be stolen, but most credit companies do not hold you responsible for that anyway. If your e-mail address gets spammed, you may have to setup some spam filters or at worst, change your e-mail address. Take advantage of this amazing tool and start working in the information age where one can find opportunity just clicks away.
There is a common misconception that wealthy people have fewer money problems than the average person. Likewise, people with money problems tend to believe that more money will solve their money problems. This is rarely the case. The large majority of money problems in developed countries are not due to the lack of money, they are due to overspending, and overspending leads to debt. A 1992 Federal Reserve study showed that 43% of U.S. families spent more than they earned. Money problems, specifically, spending more than one earns, is one of the leading obstacles to finding happiness.
It is the typical trap that most people know all too well: It begins with parents trying to be helpful with the advice, “Buy the most expensive house you can afford!” The theory behind this advice is that when you use a mortgage to buy a home, you are using other people’s money to grow your asset. The problem is, you are tying up all your funds in a long-term investment. To the entrepreneur or investor, there is opportunity cost, or the cost of missed opportunity, associated with this money. In addition, generally speaking, the more expensive the house is to buy the more expensive it is to maintain. These maintenance costs, including time, are a liability and not an asset. If you do follow this advice, make sure you really understand what “afford” means.
At this point, the real spending begins. Credit cards are used to buy furnishings and other miscellaneous home goods. Consumers are reeled in by the “No payments ’till...” signs. Eventually, credit cards are maxed out, and any disposable income is being “disposed of” by paying exorbitant interest payments. Then comes the “consolidate all your credit card debt” deal where all the debt is in one neat payment usually secured by a second mortgage on the home. Even though a vow is made never to use the credit cards again, one of life’s little surprises comes along that constitutes an “emergency” and the cards, once again, start reaching their limits.
Why do so many people find it so hard to spend less money than they earn? What can be done about it? Here are some of the top reasons for overspending along with suggestions.
If you are one of the many who are spending more than they earn, then break the habit now and adjust your lifestyle before you begin to earn more money or you will find yourself only deeper in debt. Wealth begins with good financial habits. Whether you decrease your spending or increase your earning, spending less than you earn will help you to live a life free from financial worry.
I will never forget the cold day in December 1997 when I heard news that deeply shocked and saddened me. My comedic hero, Chris Farley, was dead at the young age of 33. The first reports suspected Farley died of a heart attack since he had an obvious weight problem. However, subsequent reports would reveal that his death was the result of his own self-sabotage, like John Belushi, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, and countless other unnecessary tragedies before him. More toward the middle of the spectrum, millions of people, both famous and non-famous, destroy their happiness and success by self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and actions that create a roadblock to success by working against your own self-interests. It is when we consciously want something but subconsciously we make sure we don’t get it. In extreme cases, self-sabotage acts as a self-fulfilling internalized death wish. Self-sabotage is linked to the lack of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.
In the high profile world of fame and stardom, self-sabotage is known to result in destructive behavior, even leading to death. In the eyes of most people, these celebrities appear to have it all: money, fame, and admiration of millions of people. So where do things go wrong? Celebrities are, after all, still human, and have the same emotional issues to deal with as the rest of us. Each one of us is a manager of our own state of mind. The emotional issues of those living in the spotlight are often magnified, as are life’s pressures. Those who cannot manage their state turn to drug or alcohol abuse as a quick and easy alternative, which eventually leads to their demise, or at least some time in Hollywood’s second home—the Betty Ford Clinic.
Back in the real world, self-sabotage is much more common in its milder form. In this form, self-sabotage usually takes away one’s success or kicks in before one can even reach any level of success. Here are some of the more common reasons for self-sabotage:
Basically, self-sabotage is like a game of mental tug-of-war. It is the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind where the subconscious mind eventually wins. The conscious mind can carry out actions and work toward a goal, but it will not be long before the subconscious mind reveals the true feelings and beliefs and takes control over actions. The key to eliminating self-sabotage is making sure that your conscious and subconscious mind are in harmony. You may get away with lying to others, but you can’t get away with lying to yourself. Believe in and have faith in yourself, and eliminate self-sabotage from your life for good.
When I once again entered the web hosting industry, after the Internet bust, we assembled a sales team of about 30 people who would call on select businesses and introduce them to one of our new hosting products. This hosting product would be part of an irresistible deal that included a free 30-day trial. To determine the success of this program, we held weekly conference calls in which our salespeople would share the results of their sales calls. The results were fairly consistent across the board: no takers. The vast majority declined the offer based on the poor economy, uncertainty of their business, lack of resources to expand their business, and many other reasons having nothing to do with our product or price. As it turned out, this sales team was not selling anything; they were buying the excuses and hard luck stories of the prospects.
We were selling a product that could act as a substantial revenue generator for any business with an existing customer base of other businesses. Along with our free trial, it was a no-lose opportunity that could do nothing but improve the prospect’s current situation. However, salespeople who accept their own hard luck stories and make excuses for their own behaviors and actions, have a tendency to sympathize with prospects who do the same. Salespeople who believe that the excuses given are legitimate reasons conclude that the prospect is better off not buying and fail to see the benefit that the product or service being sold would bring.
Change your perspective. If you find yourself doing more buying than selling, a change of perspective may be all you need. Begin by working on yourself. Don’t make excuses and don’t sell yourself hard luck stories. Realize that only you are responsible for your own life, and while you cannot control everything that happens to you, you can control your attitude. The same holds true for every prospect that you will ever meet.
Be an optimist. An optimistic attitude, especially in sales, can be one of your greatest assets. Being an optimist is seeing the good rather than the bad—it is seeing the brighter side of life. Seeing situations from this perspective opens the mind to creative solutions to problems. Optimists can see solutions completely overlooked by pessimistic prospects. After all, it is the salesperson’s duty to demonstrate how the product or service can solve the prospect’s problems.
Use tact. Tact is basically the ability to communicate without offending others. Tact separates the pushy or aggressive salesperson who annoys or offends his prospects from the assertive salesperson, who persists despite rejection or objection, having the best intentions of the prospect in mind. If a prospect tells you, “I can’t buy because of this uncertain economy,” contradicting their statement will only put him or her on the defense. Use tact when you respond to objections and think in terms of the prospect’s point of view. An appropriate response may be, “I can certainly understand why you would hesitate in this economy. In fact, our customers appreciate our product most when the economy is slow because of the money it saves them.”
In every situation where one person is attempting to sell another person a product, service or idea, a sale is made. It is either the prospect that is sold the product, service or idea, or the salesperson who is sold on a reason for the prospect not to buy. Do not let your own personality flaws interfere with your success. Cultivate an optimistic outlook on life and take responsibility for your own situation. Then, you will be more effective in helping others solve their problems by seeing the benefits your product or service can bring.
Frederick W. Smith (1944–) is the Chairman and CEO of Federal Express Corporation; also known as the “father of the overnight delivery business.”
Success is taking criticism lightly, even from those “who know best.” While attending Yale University, Fred Smith wrote a paper on the need for reliable overnight delivery in a computerized information age. His professor found the premise “improbable” and, to the best of Smith’s recollection, he only received a grade of C for this effort.
Success is learning all you can from your current situation. After college, Fred spent a few years in the military. While there, he observed military procurement and delivery procedures carefully. This information helped him to realize his dream of overnight commercial delivery.
Success does not always come quickly. In the first two years of business, Federal Express lost $27 million. Shortly after, the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. During this time, Smith still was confident the idea was solid.
Success is being able to negotiate. Thanks to Fred’s negotiating skills, he was able to negotiate his way out of failure and managed to turn FedEx into a multi-billion dollar a year empire.
Success is continued improvement. Smith does not allow FedEx to rest on its laurels. Continuous improvement is said to be one of his fundamental management principles.
Success is fulfilling a need, even if it means creating an entire industry. “Fred Smith is the only man I have ever known who has created an entire industry,” wrote Howard Baker, the U.S. ambassador to Japan, and former U.S. senator from Tennessee.
Success is understanding the importance of keeping employees happy. FedEx has repeatedly been on Fortune magazine’s list of the “100 Best Companies to Work For.”
Success is not fearing failure. In the early 80s, Smith launched Zapmail, a program to electronically transmit documents between FedEx offices. The idea was a costly flop. “I’m not afraid to take a swing and miss,” said Smith in an interview.
Success is remaining flexible. Since Smith founded Federal Express in 1971, he’s kept his business nimble, always changing to meet the demands of the market and consumers.
[Sources: http://www.achievement.org, http://fedex.com, http://www.fortune.com]
Henry Ford, the auto industry billionaire, began his business career under the handicaps of poverty, illiteracy, and ignorance. Knowing his own weaknesses and understanding one of the key principles of success, Mr. Ford allied himself with Thomas Edison, whom he knew could help him achieve his desired goals and objectives. However, Mr. Ford’s most outstanding achievements began from the time he allied himself with the great minds of Harvey Firestone, John Burroughs, and Luther Burbank. Together, these men would form the mastermind alliance behind the Ford Motor Company, which was responsible for bringing affordable automobiles to the masses.
A mastermind alliance is having access to a body of knowledge and/or resources in human form that you can consult when the need arises. Many great businesses are started and run with a mastermind alliance. These masterminds consist of two or more people with varying talents, skills, and resources who work together toward a common objective. In fact, forming a mastermind could be seen as one of the key steps in the goal setting exercise—it is another way of identifying the people who can help you achieve success.
Very often, the achievement of success requires the cooperation of others. When you form a mastermind, you ideally choose members that compensate for your lack of skills or resources needed to reach your common objective.
Henry Ford was once on trial and was unable to answer a fairly simple question about history. In response to the interrogating attorney, Ford said, “Now, will you kindly tell me, why I should clutter up my mind with general knowledge, for the purpose of being able to answer questions when I have men around me who can supply any knowledge I require?” This question posed by Ford not only restored his credibility to the court, but demonstrated to many how brilliant he really was.
A mastermind, like any good team, consists of members who have different perspectives. These different perspectives are useful when it comes to problem solving. Problem solving is often like putting together a puzzle where the possible solutions are like the puzzle pieces; it takes several different pieces to complete the puzzle.
Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of a mastermind is synergy. Synergy is the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects. In mathematical terms, it is 1+1=3. In scientific terms, it is like mixing two or more substances to create a completely different substance. This type of synergism is the driving force behind many successes.
Before you can assemble a mastermind alliance, you must have a clear objective in mind. An objective is often synonymous with a goal, but an objective is more often a goal shared between two or more people. With a clear objective in mind, you can proceed with the following five steps for building an effective mastermind alliance.
A well-formed mastermind alliance can be your greatest asset for achieving any objective. You can form several masterminds, each with the purpose of accomplishing a different objective. Do your best when choosing members for your mastermind and remember that the overall success of the group is based on the contribution of each of the members. Don’t waste any of your valuable time by postponing success while you work on your shortcomings. Compensate for your shortcomings by building a mastermind alliance and by beginning your journey of success right away.
Real estate millionaires do not become millionaires by investing in just one property. They do not buy just one property and rent it out, or turn over just one property for a profit. Real estate millionaires usually work several properties at one time in order to maximize their profit and make efficient use of their time. Real estate millionaires have what is called “multiple streams of income,” which is essentially more than one source of cash flow. Millionaires in any industry often become millionaires by adopting this very same technique.
Multiple streams of income do not have to be within the same industry or come from the same general source. In fact, having streams of income from different industries is often more effective and provides a greater sense of security. Here are the four top general sources of income of most millionaires today.
Consider the individual who has a 9-5 job that she thoroughly enjoys, but desires financial independence. By using the mastermind principle, she can assemble a team of experts in several areas with the goal of creating streams of income. It is not necessary for her to become an expert and focus in each area, especially while working a full-time job.
Why not put all of your focus and energy on just one source of income? At times, focusing on one source of income will produce the best results, especially in the case of a startup venture where your full attention is needed. However, generally it is easier to make a little money in several areas than it is to make a lot of money in one area. Having multiple streams of income is like increasing your chances at winning the lottery by buying several tickets.
Another reason why having multiple streams of income makes so much financial sense is because at some point in anything you do, the law of diminishing returns eventually kicks in. When this happens, your maximum efforts start producing minimal results. By refocusing your efforts on another stream of income, your chances of financial success greatly increase.
Consider for a moment that you have a problem that you need to solve: financial insecurity or a lack of money. A great way to solve any problem is by “attacking the problem from all angles.” Each stream of income created is an “angle” from which you are “attacking” the problem—the lack of money. If one angle fails, you still have several more working to solve the problem. Each stream of income on its own may not be enough to solve your financial problems, but together they are. You can also substitute “problem” with “goal” and use this technique to create substantial wealth.
The majority of wealthy individuals have multiple streams of income; they do not rely on just one source. This not only helps them to achieve financial security, but often leads them to financial independence. It does not always take money to make money, but it does take ideas and desire. Expand your thinking by asking yourself the question, “What can I do to create multiple streams of income?” The answer to this question may also be the answer to all your financial problems.
Stop learning and start doing. This is what most of us are encouraged to do at some point early in our lives, either consciously or unconsciously. The beginning of one’s career is often the end of one’s education as well. Sure, there may be some job training down the road and even an occasional non-fictional book or two, but nothing like the education we receive early on in life. Successful individuals embrace the habit of learning and make it a life-long process. Successful individuals are encouraged to start doing and keep learning.
Learning is the act, process, or experience of gaining knowledge or skill. In traditional education, topics are chosen for us and rightfully so. After all, if it were up to 10-year-olds, they would study video game cheats and the art of tormenting siblings. In traditional education, class times are fixed, as are schedules. This rigid educational system tends to turn many people off from learning early on. Learning beyond traditional education is very different; it is an unstructured process that begins with a desire within oneself to attain knowledge or a skill. This type of learning is both motivating and addictive.
So why bother learning after formal schooling is completed?
There have been numerous successful individuals throughout history who lacked formal schooling. Yet, with the desire for knowledge, the need for personal growth, and the love of learning, they became very educated. Those who are not fortunate enough to have the opportunity of formal education are not destined for a life of ignorance. Education does not have to cost money, and it does not have to take very much time. Learning is for everyone who has the desire to embrace it.
Here are just some ways in which you can continue the learning process throughout your life.
The key to learning is to first create the desire for knowledge. Understand that continual learning will increase your odds of success and help you reach your goals faster. Learning comes in many forms besides formal schooling and certainly does not have to stop when a career begins. Be inquisitive, ask questions, and seek answers. “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty,” said Henry Ford. “Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.”
In the 1970s, a young man named Rudy Ruettiger defied all odds and realized his dream of entering the University of Notre Dame and playing for the Fighting Irish football team. Rudy was a physically small young man, with little talent and a minor case of dyslexia, but had the heart of a lion. Around 20 years later, his story was made into a hit movie called Rudy, which inspired millions of people all over the world.
To inspire another is to fill that person with enlivening or exulting emotion. Inspiration is the spark for motivation where motivation leads to action. Leaders motivate others for a common purpose and inspire others to do something for themselves.
Inspiration is the spark needed to ignite the fire within each of us that causes us to take action. Inspiration gives us reason and desire. Leaders who can inspire others to take action for themselves have a gift that is universally sought after. Leaders in business, religion, politics, and family who can inspire those they lead rank highly among the most effective leaders.
People can be inspired by nature itself: a beautiful sunset, an ocean breeze, or a mountain stream. In fact, virtually any stimulation of one of the senses can trigger inspiration. Even with all of these sources, inspiration is not a frequent event. Effective leaders, however, can inspire others, or more accurately, cause others to become inspired. If you wish to inspire others, here are some techniques you can use.
Some of the world’s greatest leaders such as Lincoln, Gandhi and Churchill are best known for their ability to inspire others. Each of them used one or more of the techniques mentioned above to earn the reputation they have. Pick one of these leaders to be your inspirational role model or adopt the qualities of another inspirational leader. Being able to inspire others will no doubt make you a more effective and powerful leader.
Jim Henson (1936-1990) was more than a puppeteer and creator of the world-famous “Muppets,” he was the person responsible for bringing joy to millions of people of all ages.
Success is fueled by encouragement. Jim was very close to his maternal grandmother who was an avid painter, quilter, and needleworker. She was very supportive of Jim’s artistic efforts and encouraged him to use his imagination.
Success has to start somewhere. In 1954, while Jim was still in high school, he performed puppets on a local TV station. One year later, he was given his own five-minute show called, “Sam and Friends” on a local NBC affiliate station.
Success is often a result of good promotion. The success of “Sam and Friends” led to guest appearances on some of the major network talk shows of the time.
Success is seeking help when you need it. In 1961, Jim brought on puppeteer and writer Jerry Juhl, who became one of Jim’s major collaborators. Later, he brought on Frank Oz, who also made significant contributions to Muppets, Inc.
Success is learning and doing. With his puppeteering well looked after by a group of talented experts, Jim was able to pursue his interests in film-making. Within a few years, he produced several experimental films that would eventually lead to his greatest success.
Success is a result of providing something of value to as many people as possible. Henson’s work on Sesame Street proved to be a huge success that mostly appealed to young children. But Jim had much more grand ideas to appeal to a much wider audience, thus began promotion of the idea of “The Muppet Show.”
Success does not happen overnight. Jim spent years promoting the idea of “The Muppet Show,” which was finally backed by a London-based television producer.
Success is a result of imagination. “The Muppet Show” was a huge success because of Jim’s humor and imagination that was evident in each and every Muppet Show episode.
Success never dies. Even after Jim Henson’s death in 1990, the Muppets continue to entertain and amuse both kids and adults alike.
[Source: http://www.henson.com/]
When speaking of a person, and the term “powerful” is mentioned, a common image that comes to mind is a big fat guy in a three piece suit, hair slicked back, smoking a cigar. You can probably picture this guy leaning back in his $3000 leather desk chair, barking commands at his employees. This image of power works well in Hollywood, but in the real world, true power takes a very different form.
Power is defined as the ability or official capacity to exercise control or authority. The abundance of money is often associated with power because it can give one the financial capacity to exercise such control. But money alone does not make one powerful, and lack of money does not prevent one from being powerful. Gandhi is one of the greatest examples of power in recent history. Here was a man of poverty who led millions of people and freed a nation. Having power is not about being feared. As Peter Gibbons from the movie Office Space says about managers who use fear as a motivator, “...but y’know, Bob, that [fear] will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.”
Power is the ability to get others to take action for their own reasons, not necessarily yours. The term “powerful” is a subjective term that usually refers to a) how much control, or influence, one has over another, b) how many people one has influence over and c) the degree of power of each of the people over whom one has influence. For example, the President of the United States is considered by many to be the most powerful person in the world. He has a) a great deal of influence over just about anyone, b) influence over almost everyone and c) influence over just about everyone who has a great degree of power.
Seeking power for the sake of being powerful is a recipe for failure. Power is a result of success; it should not be a goal in itself. People in positions of power generally earn those positions and thus earn the right to, and the responsibilities of power. The moment they abuse the power, they begin to lose it. Power can be a tremendous ally on the road to success if used for the good of others. Following some basic success strategies can help you earn the right to power.
Money in itself is not power, just like knowledge is not power; it is only potential power. It takes action, backed by other principles of success to create power. Practice these principles and the power that comes with success can be yours.
Back in the old days of the Internet, obtaining investment money was cheap and easy. As long as you had a “dot-com” (yes, even if your business plan included a talking hand puppet with a fake microphone), you had access to the cash you needed to build your on-line empire. However, as investors began to realize the error of their ways, entrepreneurs had to use their heads more and their money less. Enter incentive partnership.
Incentive partnership is a performance-based compensation arrangement between two or more entities. Unlike the traditional employee/employer relationship, the incentive partnership rewards individuals based on efforts or results. Incentive partnerships can have rewards based on one or more of many criteria such as company-wide profits, departmental revenues, individual sales or a combination of criteria. Unlike the traditional commissioned sales professional, the reward is not solely in the form of a sales commission.
Imagine you have an amazing idea, one that you are confident can make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. It is an idea that has both excited you and filled you with enthusiasm. You plan out every detail of your idea, but then, reality hits and you realize that you do not have a dime to your name to hire the help needed to execute such a plan. What do you do? What if you are already in business and your problem is one of decreased productivity and low morale? The answer: form incentive partnerships. Incentive partnerships can be of great benefit to all parties involved in the following ways:
Once you are convinced that incentive partnerships can help bring you closer to your financial and business goals, it is time to take action. Here are some tips on building incentive partnerships.
Incentive partnership can be one of the fairest forms of compensation. By treating workers as owners and sharing common goals, leaders can get more productivity from those whom they lead while creating business relationships that otherwise may not have been possible. Be open to alternative compensation plans whether launching a new venture or building an existing one, and success can be yours.
If you own a television set, you have most likely seen an interrogation session where one or more members of some kind of law enforcement agency attempt to extract information from a suspect or convict. Or perhaps you have seen a witness being interrogated by a lawyer in a courtroom. This is done by the interrogator attempting to rouse the witness, suspect or criminal and get him or her to act on emotion and not reason. This is an example of controlling the conversational climate. For most of us, we will not find it necessary to interrogate witnesses or criminals, but we do want to maintain control of the conversational climates in our communications with others.
When you are in control of the conversational climate, you are not necessarily controlling the topic, but you are controlling the emotions expressed and the overall tone of the conversation. This is very often more important, and here’s why: studies have shown that somewhere around 90% of all content of a speech, presentation, or conversation is forgotten after just one week. What is left is the impression of the emotions expressed. In personal or business situations, you want to leave others with positive emotions and good feelings.
Controlling the conversational climate is based on the premise that negative + positive = neutral or positive. To illustrate, if you have a customer who called you just to tell you how lousy your product is, by responding with positive words and comments you can make the overall tone of the call either neutral or positive. Easier said than done, right? What isn’t? Controlling the conversational climate takes a positive mental attitude, self-control, understanding, sympathy, and compassion. It is the ability to counter negative emotions with the opposite emotion, and influence the other person with your positive attitude. You let the other person react from emotion, but you be sure to respond with reason.
Here are some of the more common emotions along with their positive opposite emotion.
confront anger with forbearance
confront anxiety with calmness
confront boredom with excitement
confront embarrassment with confidence
confront fear with courage
confront jealousy with trust
confront sadness with joy
Take positive control of the conversational climate in your speeches, presentations, formal talks, and even in your casual conversations and you will find that others will have a more positive impression of you as well as your ideas.
There were once two men hiking in the Canadian Rockies. They were both fairly young, healthy, and in good shape. From a distance, they noticed a mother grizzly bear walking with her cubs. As the mama bear got closer, she detected the two intruders and began to charge them at full speed. Just as one of the men was about to run for dear life, the other man calmly sat down, took off his heavy hiking boots, and began to put on his sneakers. The first man said, “Are you nuts? A full-grown female grizzly bear can run over 30 miles per hour! You will never outrun that thing!” The second man calmly replied, “I don’t need to. I just need to outrun you.” The second man knew what he needed to survive: an edge over his competition.
Perception-wise, there is a huge difference between first and second, even though the actual difference can be a fraction of a second, as in a race. Olympic gold medalists have gone on to fame and fortune while silver medalists have their 15 minutes of fame, then are forgotten. Businesses who bid for large contracts and win can excel, whereas those that came in second place go under. As comedian Jerry Seinfeld puts it, and I am paraphrasing here, “Think about it... if you come in second, you are really the number one loser of all the losers.” Having the edge can take you from being the number one loser to being the winner.
Having the edge can be a result of physical, emotional, and/or psychological conditioning. In fact, this whole course is designed to give you the edge you need to succeed at anything you do. The long-term strategy for having the edge basically comes down to working just a little harder, and knowing just a little bit more than your competition.
There is also what is called the short-term edge. This is a quick 24-hour prep to get your mind and body in peak state for an event, such as a marathon, test, presentation or competition of any kind. Here are some general techniques for getting the short-term edge you need to succeed.
Having the edge is being your best. You can spend a lifetime working on skills that put you ahead of your competition, but there will most likely be tougher competitors. Use the short-term edge to nudge your way to first place in everything you do and never again settle for being the number one loser.
Michael R. Bloomberg (1942–) is president of Bloomberg Financial Markets, Mayor of New York City (2002–2013), philanthropist, and a multi-billionaire.
Success stems from a good work ethic. Mr. Bloomberg financed his own education by taking out loans and working part-time by parking cars.
Success is not without its setbacks. Not too long after joining Salomon Brothers, Bloomberg was made partner in 1972. However, in 1981 when Salomon Brothers was acquired, Mr. Bloomberg was fired.
Success is having the ability to identify problems. Bloomberg became frustrated with the archaic handling of financial data. When he needed past information, he would need to find a copy of the Wall Street Journal from the date in question. The records system consisted of clerks penciling trades in oversized ledgers.
Success is having vision. Mr. Bloomberg’s fascination with technology, along with his knowledge of the financial markets, allowed him to create a computer information system to oversee the management and analysis of securities data. Mr. Bloomberg had created a revolution.
Success is often about slow beginnings. In 1982, Bloomberg L.P. sold just 20 subscriptions to its service; 20 years later, Bloomberg LP had over 165,000 subscribers worldwide.
Success is overcoming obstacles. When running for mayor of New York City, Mr. Bloomberg managed to overcome a 25% deficit in opinion polls to win the mayoral election.
Success is being an optimist. “I’m able to look back, look around me, and just realize that the glass is better than half full. I never understood people who are always looking for the problems.”
Success is not working for money. Mr. Bloomberg took the job as mayor of New York City for $1 per year.
Success is having the desire to make a difference. “There’s no other job in government where cause and effect is so tightly coupled, where you can make a difference every day in so many different ways and in so many different people’s lives.”
Success is sharing. Mr. Bloomberg devotes his time, attention, and financial resources to the needs of New York City, his alma maters, as well as other causes close to his heart. His charitable donations over the years have been in the hundreds of millions.
[Sources: http://home.nyc.gov, http://news.bbc.co.uk, http://www.wnbc.com]
In the hit science-fiction movie The Matrix, Morpheus (Lawrence Fishburn) tries to explain the mind-baffling concept of the Matrix to Neo (Keanu Reeves) who has just had his perception of reality completely changed. Neo’s former perception of reality was no different than that of your ordinary late twentieth-century hacker/software programmer. When Neo made the choice to open his mind to “the real world,” he realized that he was actually living a futuristic nightmare where machines were ruling the earth. Although the concept behind the movie is science fiction (or at least we think it is), it vividly illustrates how one’s perception of reality is reality to that person.
If the whole concept of The Matrix is too “out there” for you, then consider the more common example of the disease anorexia. One who has anorexia nervosa relentlessly pursues thinness. Those with the disease report feeling fat even though they are dangerously thin. In their reality, they are fat, but in other’s reality, the more common reality, they actually weigh 85% or less than what is expected for their age and height. The question is, are your perceptions of reality helping you achieve success or keeping you from it?
Our reality is based on our perceptions. We base our perceptions on a number of factors such as the information we take in, our experiences, our opinions, our feelings and our emotions. When we prejudge people or events, we form feelings and opinions based on limited information, which in turn becomes our reality. We can form more accurate perceptions by not jumping to conclusions or forming opinions until we have adequate information.
If we just wish to change our current perceptions, we need to seek more information. If we want to change our perceptions in a way that will help us achieve success, we still need to seek more information, but analyze that information with a positive mental attitude and with our goals in mind. For example, people with self-destructive habits and no desire to change tend to seek out only information that supports their habit and ignore other information either consciously or subconsciously. When seeking information, keep your goals in mind and you will find what you need to alter your perceptions that will bring you closer to success. Remember the proverb, “Seek and you shall find.”
Sigmund Freud, the Austrian founder of psychoanalysis, was known as one of the greatest active listeners of all time. One of his greatest contributions to the field of mental health was his discovery that in order to understand and effectively treat a patient, a doctor had to listen to his or her patients. He further explained that communication may be with direct words, with actions, or in some other disguised manner whose code is very difficult to decipher. Active listening is not just a key element of psychoanalysis, but it is the key element of successful communication.
You have most likely heard someone say something such as, “I know you can hear me, but are you listening to me?” Unless one is hearing impaired, or in a completely soundproof environment, he or she is hearing. Hearing is using our brain subconsciously to process sounds, whereas listening is focusing attention on the sounds being heard. Active listening is more effective and more interactive than just listening. It involves more physical, mental, and/or verbal interaction. Active listening should be used in place of listening in all situations: one-on-one, group presentations, personal, and professional.
So why is active listening so important? Three main reasons:
In addition, active listening has other far-reaching effects that benefit both the listener and the speaker.
People tend to not listen for one of many reasons. They may be bored, distracted, or just not interested in the subject. The speaker’s delivery of the message, the content, or the environment can cause boredom, distraction, or lack of interest. In any case, providing you can hear the words being spoken, you can choose to listen actively.
Here are several suggestions to help you become a more active listener. Some of these apply only to one-to-many type presentations, as in the case of a speaker addressing a large group, and some suggestions apply only to one-on-one situations, as in talking with a friend or business associate. Most of these suggestions, however, apply to any situation.
What is the speaker really saying? Active listening involves being more attentive to the words, tone, and the body language the speaker is using to deliver her message. It is about focusing your complete attention on the message while involving both your mind and body. Being a good active listener is the first major step to being a great communicator.
The expression “sell it to yourself” refers to convincing yourself of the benefits of that which you are selling. Everybody is selling something whether it is themselves, an idea, a product or a service. When you are selling something you do not believe in, you are essentially acting, and let’s face it, most of us do not make very good actors.
To be successful, before you can sell anything to anybody, you must first be sold on what you are selling yourself. This is a universal truth that many people, in all lines of work, tend to overlook. Confidence comes from belief, and it takes confidence to influence others. Believe in your product, organization, career, success and, most important, believe in yourself.
In the late ’90s, the Internet boom made millionaires out of many investors virtually overnight. These “success stories” were in the news and magazines almost daily. People love to hear stories of overnight success and, as a result, the media loves to seek out and publish such stories. The idea of living the American dream without having to work or wait for it is universally appealing. However, this skewed perception of what success really is promotes the “instant gratification” desire, which is one of the leading reasons people fail. True success, the kind that is achieved through personal development, is based on self-discipline.
Discipline is training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement. As young children, we are introduced to discipline through our parents. Later, our teachers and religious leaders contribute to our discipline. Along the way, other people such as grandparents, babysitters, and/or older siblings may join in. By the time we are of age, we are all “disciplined out” and cannot wait to be on our own; free to do as we wish. What nobody ever tells us, as youths transitioning into adulthood, is the discipline cannot stop—it must be transformed into self-discipline if we are to succeed in life.
Self-discipline is the ability to adhere to actions, thoughts, and behaviors that result in personal improvement instead of instant gratification. As an adult, there is only one person who is with you 24 hours a day. This person is the only one who can choose a life of success over a life of mediocrity. This person is the only one who can write your goals and see to it that you take daily actions toward their achievement. This person is the only one who will be there for you to see that you break your destructive habits. This person is you.
One of the key elements of success, persistence, is only made possible through self-discipline. Whether your goals include becoming the next billionaire, losing weight, quitting smoking, or being the best parent you can be, self-discipline is needed to get you there.
Here are some suggestions on how you can become more self-disciplined.
What if you do not have the self-discipline to work on building your self-discipline? (Ahh, what irony...) If you have made it this far in the course, chances are you do. However, if you still doubt your own abilities or perhaps would just like some reinforcement, consider the martial arts. Besides self-discipline, martial arts training can help with confidence, fitness, coordination, and more.
Self-discipline is not an easy characteristic to practice. It is, however, an invaluable characteristic to have if achievement and success are important to you. True success comes as a result of self-discipline. Remember, when it comes to success, there are no shortcuts.
Steve Martin (1945–) is an actor, writer, director, producer, film-maker, banjo player, balloon animal maker, all-around entertainer, and one wild and crazy guy.
Success is knowing how to sell—yourself. Steve worked at Disneyland after school and in the summers from age ten until age 18. Starting off by selling guidebooks at the front gate, Steve quickly learned that “relentless cheeriness” was what he needed to far outsell the norm. This charismatic attitude is one that would help Steve succeed throughout his career.
Success does not come easily. Martin started his career as a struggling stand-up comedian by traveling from town to town sticking arrows through his head and making balloon animals. Martin reportedly told the Edmonton Sun in 1999 that these were the hardest years of his life.
Success can be a result of making good contacts. Steve’s first lucky break came when his girlfriend at the time was a dancer on the very popular Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. She passed on some of Steve’s material to the head writer, Mason Williams, who loved it and hired Steve as a writer for the show.
Success is daring to be different. During his live performances, Martin took to drawing the audience together as a group and leading them out of the venue. Once, he took them all to McDonald’s and ordered 274 burgers, at the last moment changing his order to “one fry to go.”
Success is constantly pushing yourself. In 1987, Steve left his comfort zone by co-writing, executive-producing, and starring in Roxanne (1987), a modern interpretation of the story of Cyrano De Bergerac. For his work with Roxanne, he won a Best Actor award from the Los Angeles Film Critics Association as well as an award for Best Screenplay from the Writers Guild of America.
Success is knowing the odds. In a 1995 interview with the Toronto Sun, Steve said, “This is a sick confession, I have always been fixated on creating a body of work. I always felt that was my goal. That’s why I liked doing a lot of movies. Because movies are very hard to make work, and if you do three the odds are you might have one that’s any good. If you do 30, the odds are you might have six.”
Success is learning to deal with failure. “You are always going to have bombs,” he said. “It’s always personal. I’m a little more used to it. I’m dealing with success or failure a little quicker. But it hangs in there. It’s like saying goodbye to a girlfriend: It can take weeks, months or years.”
Success is being creative. Martin once told reporters that he had business cards printed up for all those fans who would approach him. The business cards read something like: “This certifies that you had a real encounter with Steve Martin and found him to be kind, courteous, charming and witty.”
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.movieclub.com, http://www.hollywood.com, http://www.tribute.ca, http://www.tiscali.co.uk]
“I have a dream...” Who can forget those immortal words spoken by Martin Luther King, Jr. on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. on August 28, 1963. Dr. King managed to influence millions of people and change a nation, not because he was rich, or in a position of power, but because he was an effective public speaker. Dr. King and other highly influential people before him, such as Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi, and Abraham Lincoln, just to name a few, mastered the art of public speaking and earned their place in history. Mastering the art of public speaking may not make you world famous, but it will most certainly help you to succeed in just about anything you do.
In just about every well-paid position, some form of public speaking is required whether it be presenting to the board of directors, giving a group sales presentation, speaking to a committee, or just speaking to a group of peers. The large majority of people are either terrified or just very uncomfortable with public speaking. This means the high paying jobs and the advancements are left for people like us who know that we can become effective public speakers if we put our minds to it. Better yet, we can even learn to enjoy it. So let’s jump right into my quick guide to public speaking.
There are three general styles of speeches: impromptu, manuscript, and extemporaneous. In an impromptu speech, you have little to no time to prepare. For example, your boss asks you, on the spot, to bring the rest of the team up to date on what you have been working on the last week. If possible, it is best to excuse yourself gracefully for a few minutes and jot down a few key points. Then, you can be sure to cover the important points without making it sound as if you have nothing to share.
The second type of speech is a manuscript speech, which is written like a manuscript and meant to be delivered word for word. This is fine for public figures where every word uttered is vital, but when it comes to building a connection with the listeners, an extemporaneous speech is the best way to go. This kind of speech uses ideas to trigger thoughts rather than exact words. Knowing the material well will allow you to present a speech in a way that best keeps the listener’s attention while allowing you to make changes based on the response of the listeners. Both the extemporaneous and manuscript styles have their own benefits so choose the style that best fits your content and your personality. Impromptu speeches should be left for impromptu situations only.
If you remember just one thing about public speaking remember this: have a point. All too often speakers stand up in front of an audience and blabber out one long stream of consciousness. Since we are masters at goal setting by now, consider your point the goal of your speech. Do you want to influence your audience? Do you want to sell them something? Do you just want to entertain them? Know your goal and build your speech around it. Here are some other suggestions that I have found to be key elements of any successful speech or presentation.
It has been said that most people fear public speaking more than death itself. While this does not mean people would rather be dead than speak in public, as some authors may suggest, it does illustrate why communication of ideas through public speaking is often avoided by professionals. Those who make it a point to embrace public speaking will have a major advantage over their coworkers and/or competitors. Who knows, the next time an author writes about great public speakers, your name can be on that list!
Am I correct in assuming that your success is very important to you? By now, you are aware of the importance of sales and how everybody sells something, aren’t you? Don’t you agree that sales is really about influencing others? Therefore, getting others to agree with you would be an incredibly powerful skill to master, wouldn’t it?
You have just witnessed a technique used to get a “yes” response. This technique is based on the Socratic method, which is all about asking questions. This is an excellent technique for asking for referrals, closing sales, or persuading others. When you ask someone a question, assuming they are listening, they always answer it. They may not answer it out loud, and they may answer it with “I have no idea,” but the question is always answered. One of the powerful uses of questions is to keep the attention of the listener or reader. The technique used above also uses questions to elicit a yes response. This “warms up” the listener by getting them in a positive frame of mind.
Let’s examine how this works in detail. We begin by determining our goal. My goal was to get you to agree that getting others to agree with you is an incredibly powerful skill to master. If I had just opened with the statement, “Getting others to agree with you is an incredibly powerful skill to master” you may have agreed with me, or you may not have. If you did not agree with me, you would be in “defensive mode” and even if I had proven my point later in the lesson you would not be as open to the idea. Now my example is a fairly easy sell, but this technique works equally as well with harder to sell ideas, products or services.
Now that we have our goal, we need to work backward and create several questions that we are confident will result in yes responses. In order for this technique to be effective, these questions must be relevant. You may be able to trick someone into saying yes by asking, “Would you like to have more money? Do you love your kids? Do you want to buy my widget?”—but their final yes will almost definitely be followed by an emphatic “NO!” Using a logical progression of questions that get yes responses make it easy for the listener to answer yes to our final question.
Here are some suggestions for formulating supporting or leading questions.
If you think that this technique sounds a little manipulative, remember that the difference between manipulation and influence is intent. This technique is best used to counter other people’s natural “no” defensive response, not trick them into a “yes” response. Just as a knife can be used to kill, it can also be used to heal.
Questions are a very powerful and effective form of communication that can be used in many ways. This technique, when used properly, can help you to become more influential, help you to become a better communicator, and bring you another step closer to success.
Imagine a world where every voice mail you leave is promptly returned, where anything you ask of others is done when you want it done, and where every process you initiate gets completed without a single hitch. This world is called “Fantasyland,” and it does not exist; however, many people act as if it does. To assure things get done, and get done right, you need to stay on top of them.
While working in technical support for our web hosting company, I received a phone call from an upset customer saying that he ordered a website from us three weeks prior, and despite our policy of usually setting up new accounts within one hour, his was still not setup. He continued by telling me how urgent this site was, and this delay had cost his company a significant amount of money. I felt like asking “Why are you just contacting us now if this was so important?” However, I knew enough to solve his problem and not pass the blame. It turned out that the customer had entered an invalid e-mail address and did not get his new account information. Had he contacted us three weeks earlier, the problem could have been fixed then.
We are all guilty of letting things fall through the cracks, but why? There is a certain relief associated with “putting the ball in someone else’s court” or at least getting it out of your own court, especially when our “to do” list is filled with things to do. We tend to let things fall through the cracks when we are more concerned with checking tasks off our list than we are with making sure the tasks actually get done. It is not wise to depend on undependable people or people whom we do not know, nor should we blame anyone but ourselves for not following through with our tasks. The key to making sure things get done and done on time is by keeping the ball in your court. Here are some suggestions on how you can do just that.
Take responsibility for your tasks by following through. The object of the game is to keep the ball in your court. If something goes wrong, as it often does, you need to be there to take action to set things right. If tasks on your list do not get done because of lack of cooperation from others, you need to take action to get those tasks done some other way. Follow through on all you do, especially on your commitment to success.
The world is full of opportunities. One opportunity specifically is overlooked every day by the large majority of those seeking wealth. This opportunity requires little or no investment, has no risk, and the benefits can be significant. The opportunity to which I am referring is meeting with a millionaire.
How can meeting with a millionaire help you to reach your financial goals? When you learned to read you were taught by someone who already knew how to read. When you learned to ride a bike, you were taught by someone who knew how to ride a bike. So who do you think can best help you learn how to reach your financial goals? Unlike great books or amazing on-line courses on success (ahem), real-time, face-to-face interaction provides a level of learning and reinforcement unavailable anywhere else. Other great reasons follow:
Why would a millionaire want to help you? What’s in it for them? You will be surprised how much cooperation you will get in this area. It is a basic fact of human behavior—people love to talk about themselves, especially their own success. If given the chance to feed their ego and be made to feel important, most people will act on this opportunity. In addition, most wealthy people are sharing individuals who get a warm feeling by helping others.
Millionaires are all around us. According to the 2002 World Wealth Report published by Cap Gemini Ernst & Young and Merrill Lynch, there are 2,100,000 high net worth individuals, or millionaires, in the United States alone. Based on the 2003 World Population Data Sheet, there are just over 291 million people in the United States. This means that in the United States, about one in every 150 people you come across is a millionaire. These are mostly made up of real estate investors, business people, investors in the financial markets, and entrepreneurs. Now that we have profiled the average millionaire and have some ideas on where to find them, it is time to contact them.
The Internet is a great tool for doing your own investigation to find contact information of a millionaire in your local community. Whether using the telephone or e-mail, be sure to show sincere appreciation for their accomplishments, then let them know that you feel they can offer you some wisdom and advice in your pursuit of financial success. In exchange for this advice, offer to buy them lunch at the place of their choice. Spending an hour at your favorite restaurant, talking about yourself while someone else is paying is a hard offer for anyone to refuse! If by some chance your offer does get rejected, the rejection will be no worse than a friendly response expressing gratitude.
Okay, so you are now set to meet this millionaire for lunch. What now? You will want to think about, or even write down, some questions that you would like to ask. When you have time to prepare, this is usually the best way to go so you can get the most out of the meeting. Make sure your questions are positive, non-personal, and non-offensive. You want the responses to make the other person feel good, not feel uncomfortable and not bring up bad memories. If you cannot think of any good questions, or have no time to prepare questions, as in the case of a spontaneous meeting, think “S-U-C-C-E-S-S”:
S - How did you get started?
U - Do you have any unusual success stories?
C - How important do you feel communication is in success?
C - How important are the contacts you have made?
E - Did you always expect to be this successful?
S - You must have had some setbacks. How do you deal with failure?
S - Do you have any suggestions or advice for me?
Be attentive to any verbal or visual hints that may be given to end the meeting. If you start detecting shuffling in the seat, looking at the watch, or increasingly short answers, thank your guest for his or her time and pay for the lunch. Now is a good time to once again express your admiration for their accomplishments and end the meeting with a positive impression.
We use the word “millionaire” loosely here. In general, any individual who has accomplished a goal that you are striving to accomplish would do just fine. Why not make this a weekly goal? Just imagine the kind of contacts you can have after just a few weeks of making these kinds of connections. Take a millionaire to lunch this week and have a good meal with a side of success!
Back in 1996 when the commercialized Internet was still relatively new, our business was booming. There was a high demand for web hosting, and we were one of the few web hosting providers at the time. We did not have to seek business, business found us. Life was grand. When we reentered the industry in 2002, we discovered that the market was a very different place. The competition had become so fierce that we were forced to change our strategy if we were to thrive, or even survive, in the industry. We ended up creating a product and a service that made us unique in the industry, as well as allowing us to operate a much smoother business model than we had in the past, setting us up for phenomenal growth. Once again, life is grand. This is all thanks to our competition.
Let’s take a minute to go over Capitalism 101. In a capitalist society, ideally speaking, competition drives prices down while increasing quality and service levels. If you have conducted business in any roller-coaster economy, such as during the turn of this last century, you have witnessed this first hand. Competition obviously is beneficial for the consumer, but what about the entrepreneur or business person?
What is your attitude toward your competition? Do you feel as if your competition is responsible for taking money out of your pocket? How about taking food from your kids’ mouths? Believe it or not, I have heard people in business use that analogy before. If you have an attitude like this, you are unlikely to gain any benefit from your competition. In fact, the chances are it will eventually destroy your business. If you want your business to benefit from your competition, begin by following these three rules:
So how does a business benefit from competition? We have already seen that increased competition tends to increase product quality and service. However, some business people may see this as more of an added expense rather than a benefit. Here are some ways that your business can use competition to its financial benefit.
Competition is good for consumers, good for the economy, and can certainly be good for business, with the right attitude and action plans. Do not adopt the belief that your competition is the enemy. Instead, use your competition as an opportunity to grow your business and succeed.
Paul and Fido live together in a big apartment with many carpets. Fido is a young mongrel that tends to shed more hair in a week than most other dogs do in a year. Paul has given up trying to clean the carpets with his existing vacuum, since it does not pick up a majority of the dog hair, and begins his quest to find a vacuum that will solve his problem.
Paul’s first stop is “Vacuum World,” where they appear to have a large selection at reasonable prices. He is approached by a salesperson who asks the type of vacuum he is looking for, and his price range. The salesperson begins to go over the technical specifications of the vacuums that would “fit his needs.” Paul is confused and leaves.
Paul then stops at “Vacuum Planet,” where the selection and prices appear to be comparable to “Vacuum World.” Once again, he is approached by a salesperson who asks the same general questions about Paul’s requirements. However, this salesperson is wise enough to know that Paul probably does not care about how many amps the vacuum is, or the fact the belt is made from a solid core of an advanced U/V resistant formulation. The salesperson sells the benefits of the vacuum: how easy it is to put away, how quiet it is, and how powerful it is. Paul is tempted to buy, but still is not comfortable. He thanks the salesperson for her time, and moves on.
Paul’s next stop is at “Vacuum Earth,” where he notices that the selection is not as large, but the prices are still decent. He is approached by a salesperson who asks him a strange question, “So, are you a first time vacuum buyer or did your current vacuum let you down?” Paul uses this open-ended question to explain to the inquisitive salesperson how Fido is changing the color of his carpets. The salesperson responds with a confident, “Say no more. This model here is ideal for picking up pet fur off the rugs. But the best part of this model, is the grooming brush attachment that can be used to vacuum the shedding fur from Fido before it hits your carpet!” This salesperson did something that the other two salespeople did not do: he sold the solution. Needless to say, Paul bought the vacuum from the salesperson at “Vacuum Earth.”
As a salesperson, whether you are selling an idea, product or service (all of which can be referred to as “product”), it is best to think in terms of problems and solutions. Your prospect has a problem that requires a solution. How can your product solve their problem? Here are what I call the three levels of selling:
The main difference between selling benefits and selling solutions is that the solution is specific to the prospect’s problem, whereas the benefits are usually more general. The key to successful selling is to sell at all three levels. When a salesperson sells the product, the benefits, and the solution, the prospect just needs to think about how they are going to pay—cash, check, or charge.
Here are some examples of these levels of selling.
(a job interview)
Not so good: “I am hard-working.”
Good: “I will help your office achieve its goals by making sure the job gets done.”
Very good: “I will see to it that the TPS reports are completed each night, and I will not leave until they are. I will also be sure to use the correct cover sheet.”
(persuading someone to quit smoking)
Not so good: Showing someone a picture of a clean lung versus a smoker’s lung.
Good: Explaining how smoke-free lungs can greatly reduce chances of fatal diseases while showing the pictures.
Very Good: Explaining how smoke-free lungs will help a smoker get rid of their asthma.
(selling a new toaster to someone who mentioned that they burn their toast too often)
Not so good: This toaster has a dial that determines the darkness of your toast.
Good: This toaster can make your toast just the way you like it.
Very Good: This toaster has an “anti-burn” sensor so you will never burn your toast again.
When you are focused on selling solutions, you are forced to ask questions in order to determine the exact problem. This line of questioning shows the prospects that you do care about their needs. Solution selling is more than just another selling technique; it is a trend that will certainly lead you to greater success.
It is said that people form opinions of you within the first three seconds of meeting you. I questioned the validity of this statement until I put it to the test and realized that I do it as well. We all keep mental files on people we know or just know of. Each time one of our senses is triggered for the first time by that person, the file is opened for about three seconds and then it is closed. The first impressions that are formed are extremely important because once the file is closed, it is not easy to get reopened. We need to be sure that the first impressions we are making are the right ones.
I would like to adapt this three-second theory to include my own “sixth sense” theory. I believe we all actually have six chances to make a first impression. There are many ways we can “meet” somebody. Each way involves the use of one of our most commonly known five senses, and our “sense” of intuition. For example, when we see someone for the first time we create a new file on this person based on sight only. The file is open for about three seconds, and then it is closed. However, when we are introduced to that person, the file is once again opened for another three seconds when we hear their voice for the first time and feel their handshake. We form our impressions mostly from sight, sound and touch. Knowing this, we need to do our best to trigger positive responses for each sense in the people we meet.
The goal of making first impressions is to make the impressions positive. Here are several suggestions on how to make a positive first impression. Please excuse some of the overly critical and somewhat sarcastic comments, but being aware of extremes will help you to make the right impressions.
Put this theory to the test yourself. Have you ever seen a picture of someone, formed impressions, then sometime later heard them speak and felt completely different about that person? Perhaps you even met them in person at a later date and found out that they are very liberal with perfume, and once again, your impression of that person changed. First impressions are based on the senses so be aware of the messages you send to others you first meet. Then, make the changes needed to ensure you are making positive first impressions. Remember, you only get six chances to make a first impression.
When taking my daughter to the mall some years ago, we came across a vending machine filled with little candies. She ran up to the machine, lifted up the metal flap to the dispenser, and poked her little fingers all around searching for the candy. I had to explain to her that she needed first to put in a quarter, then turn the knob, then get the candy from the dispenser. It took my then two-year-old daughter a couple of trips to the mall to catch on completely, yet so many people spend their entire lives shaking the vending machine without putting in the quarter and turning the knob. Certain deterministic factors aside, our rewards in life are directly related to the amount we contribute, and those who seek something for nothing will generally get the equivalent of what they are willing to contribute—nothing.
In our vending machine analogy, think of the quarter and turning the knob as the contribution. Our contributions in life begin with some type of investment. The most common form of this investment is investment in ourselves, as in college, adult education classes, independent study, and/or personal development of any kind. Then, contribution needs action. A parent or teacher invests his time in the education or character development of a youth, whereas a salesperson may invest her time in making sales calls. Teaching and selling is also taking action while investing. Finally, after the quarter has been put in, and the knob has been turned, we get the candy. Then, and only then, will life’s rewards ultimately follow.
Not all rewards are financial. Do not be discouraged if your contributions produce little or no financial reward. The chances are, your contributions are being rewarded by earning the respect and admiration of others, fame or recognition, the feeling of accomplishment, fulfillment, inner peace, or some other non-monetary reward.
Those who are willing to contribute nothing usually fall for anything. The world is full of these people with a strong desire for instant gratification. These are the people with the “get rich quick” mentality who desire all the rewards of life but are not willing to exchange patience, risk, or effort. This is the group that many deceptive advertisers and marketers secretly refer to as “suckers.” It is difficult to browse the Internet and not see an obnoxious flashing ad that says, “You are an instant winner! Click here to claim your prize!” These ads are so common because they work; people actually do click on them, give up their personal information, and buy $100 worth of junk they do not need in order to get their “free” coffee mug.
If you want to get something out of life, you have to put something in. Be not only willing, but be enthusiastic to make a contribution to this world. Every one of us has something special to offer whether it be the ability to educate, motivate, create, protect, lead, solve problems, comfort, or entertain. Focus on your contributions, not your rewards, and the rewards will follow.
George Lucas (1944–) is a film director, writer, and producer, best known for his work with the Star Wars trilogies.
Success is realizing that life is a gift. Just after graduating high school, George was involved in a serious car accident that changed his perspective on life. He realized that every day was a gift, and he needed to make the most of it.
Success is setting realistic goals. George’s success began by setting goals of getting good grades in school and pursuing the courses that interested him most.
Success is doing what you love despite what others may say. Lucus went to film school because he loved the idea of making films, even though very few people actually made it into the film business from film school.
Success is going with your gut. When asked about his successes in an interview, Lucas said, “Mostly I just followed my inner feelings and passions, and said ’I like this, and I like this,’ and I just kept going to where it got warmer and warmer, until it finally got hot, and then that’s where I was.”
Success is discovering your own talents. “Everybody has talent, it’s just a matter of moving around until you’ve discovered what it is.”
Success is perseverance. Lucas believes that perseverance is one of the key qualities of a successful individual.
Success is not easy. George said that his first six years in the business were “hopeless.” He borrowed money from friends and family, and it did not look like he was ever going to be able to pay anyone back. It took several years for him to get his first movie off the ground.
Success is ignoring the naysayers. Before his success, people would tell George that he was in a “complete dead-end for a career.” After school, Lucas moved back to San Francisco and people told him that he could not possibly make it in the film business while living in San Francisco. His incredible success would soon prove the naysayers wrong.
Success is learning to say no. With success comes even more opportunities. Lucas believes that if you take on too many opportunities at one time your life becomes unfocused and you can easily sink into depression.
Success is getting others to believe in you. Lucas had a very difficult time with his first two films, American Graffiti and Star Wars. The first couple of studios Lucas took Star Wars to turned him down. One studio executive, however, who saw American Graffiti (and loved it) agreed to take on Star Wars, reportedly saying. “You know, I don’t understand this, but I think you’re a great film maker and I’m going to invest in you. I’m not going to invest in this project.”
[Sources: http://www.achievement.org, http://www.cinema.com, http://www.filmmakers.com]
Nobody’s perfect. Henry Ford was uneducated. Bill Gates was a college drop out. Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke but a few words of English coming to this country. Helen Keller was unable to see, hear or speak at all. Abraham Lincoln was belligerent. John D. Rockefeller almost killed himself with worry. John F. Kennedy was too young, and George Foreman was too old. Each of these successful individuals had to face their weaknesses in order to achieve the level of success they did. To have weaknesses is to be human; to face those weaknesses is to be successful.
The key to facing your weaknesses is first to be aware of them. If you are unaware or just ignore your weaknesses, you are setting yourself up for disappointment or even failure down the road. Others may try to expose and profit from your weaknesses, or on your journey of success you may hit roadblocks or be limited by your weaknesses. Facing your weaknesses begins with awareness.
Facing your weaknesses does not necessarily mean conquering them. If your weakness is the fear of flying, then you can conquer the fear, get someone else to fly for you, eliminate the need for flying, or just take alternate transportation. Here are four effective ways of facing your weaknesses:
We all have weaknesses that may be affecting our success in our personal and/or business lives. It is important to be aware of these weaknesses then choose how to deal with them. Once this can be accomplished, your weaknesses will no longer be an obstacle on your road to success.
Every one of us has an amazing power that we seldom use. With this power, we can make another person instantly feel better, put a smile on their face and a skip in their step. In some cases, we can even give another person an emotional high that will last all day long. Of course, with any great power comes responsibility; in this case, the responsibility is using the power itself every chance we get. This power is the art of praise and compliment.
The words praise and compliment are actually synonyms for expressing approval or admiration. However, praise is more associated with accomplishment or achievement—you cannot really praise someone for his or her nice shoes. Whether you use praise or compliments, the effect is same: a warm feeling followed by a smile for both the giver and receiver.
The benefits of praising are similar to expressing gratitude. Besides good feelings all around, employees or team members who are praised are more productive and satisfied with their jobs and children who are praised are more confident and tend to focus on praise-worthy behavior. Giving sincere praise and honest compliments will help you earn the respect and trust of others.
Throughout this course, I have mentioned the importance of giving praise and compliments, but not necessarily how to best do it. Here are tips on the art of praising and complimenting.
Praising and complimenting others is an art that has marvelous effects on the attitude of those receiving the praise. It is something we all are capable of, but do not do it often enough. Take a few steps closer to success and practice your complimenting skills while making other people happy in the process. You can’t go wrong!
When referring to one’s life, balance is a harmonious or satisfying arrangement or proportion of parts of one’s life. These parts of life can be categorized many ways, the most general categories being personal and professional. These two general categories can then be broken down further. For example, a personal life can consist of love, friendship, fitness, spirituality, relaxation, and learning. The categories we choose are up to each one of us based on the importance of these categories in our lives.
Having a balanced life does not mean each day of your life must be balanced. Some work requires excessively long hours during the holiday season. Many people get more sleep and relaxation on the weekends, so they have the needed physical and mental energy to forge ahead during the work week. Living a balanced life is seeing life as a big picture and not just a series of days.
Success ultimately depends on finding balance. Each of us has a different balance point for every part of our lives. Some believe that the moment we find that balance point we find true happiness. However, if we live an unbalanced life, we will eventually experience feelings of guilt, failure, and emptiness. When we find balance, we are essentially meeting more of our needs, and we live a more fulfilled life.
Nobody can tell us how to live a balanced life because only we can define what balance means to us. Finding balance is about using a combination of common sense, circumstance, and trial-and-error. We must determine for ourselves what is too much and what is not enough. Here is a partial list of some examples where finding balance is essential to success.
Balance should not be used as an excuse. It is easy to give in to instant gratification, or take the easy way out and justify one’s actions as “finding balance,” but that is not what finding balance is about. Finding balance is about improving the quality of your life while bringing you closer to your goals. Find balance, and you may just find success right beside it.
Contentment, or desiring no more than what one has, can be our best friend or our worst enemy. Being content with what we have is generally a good thing, especially when referring to material possessions and other “things.” However, being content with our accomplishments, goals, and general position in life essentially means we have no more goals or ambitions since they have already been either reached or forgotten. Those who lack goals and direction in life also find it difficult to achieve happiness. It is this level of contentment that gets in the way of our success.
At this time, it is likely you have already experienced much success. You may have reached some of your goals, or you may have achieved success in other areas where you may not have expected. It is times such as these we start to get comfortable and begin to lose the burning desire that once was the driving force behind our success. When we are content, we are not frustrated, and we do nothing or very little to improve our situation. Remember that success does not come easy; it is not about taking the path of least resistance; it is about continually challenging yourself and holding yourself to higher standards.
What is the difference between true happiness, and contentment and how can you tell the difference? Although this may seem like a challenging question, you already know the answer. Ask yourself, “Am I truly happy, or am I just content?” Although you may not be able to put your feelings into words, you will be able to tell the difference.
If you feel that you have reached a point in your success where you are comfortable or contented, then it is time to review your definition of success and refocus on your goals. You may feel that you were in a more “hopeful” state of mind when wrote the goals and now your goals seem less important or maybe “too bold,” but do not let your current state of contentment cloud your judgment. Review your success journal along with your general and specific purpose. Look at your dream collage. Do you really want to give up on these goals and dreams? Are you really exactly where you want to be or do you feel you have more to give?
Being content with the material things in life is said to be one of the keys to happiness and it also makes a very worthwhile goal. Contentment with your achievements in life, on the other hand, is usually more destructive than productive and can be combated by refocusing on your goals and life purpose. Remember the words of John Lancaster Spalding, “If all were gentle and contented as sheep, all would be as feeble and helpless.”
Marc Andreessen (1971–) is one of the true Internet pioneers who is responsible for the World Wide Web as we know it.
Success is taking your own path. Although school sports were the main focus of the majority of Andreessen’s peers, Marc had little interest in athletics. Andreessen instead pursued an interest in computers that began when he was in the fifth grade.
Success is a result of a dream followed by action. While pursuing his undergraduate degree at the National Center for Supercomputing Applications (NCSA), Andreessen was working on an assignment to write three-dimensional visualization software for the Center’s supercomputer when he dreamed up and implemented the first modern day Internet web browser.
Success is often a result of identifying and solving problems. The user-interfaces of available browsers of the early 90s tended not to be very user-friendly. Marc decided to develop a browser that was easier to use and more graphically rich that would lead to the Web’s instant popularity.
Success is seeking help when you need it. In 1992, Andreessen recruited fellow NCSA employee, Eric Bina, to help with his project. Together, the two would work many long and hard hours to create the first modern-day Web browser, called “Mosaic.”
Success is often a result of a chain reaction. When making Mosaic available for more popular platforms such as Windows and MAC, its popularity skyrocketed. More users meant a bigger Web audience, which led to the creation of new content, which in turn further increased the audience on the Web and so on.
Success is often a result of making the right connections. Despite Marc’s incredible work with Mosaic, because the project was developed on university time he would get neither any significant compensation nor recognition for his work. With the idea of a new start-up company (which eventually became Netscape), Marc soon met Jim Clark, founder of Silicon Graphics, Inc., a man with both the money and connections to help bring Marc’s visions to the world.
Success is being able to inspire others. In developing the new web browser (Netscape), the programmers would sometimes work for 40 straight hours. As one employee recalls, they were driven by the vision of creating something better than the Mosaic.
Success is not always about cash up front. “One of the fundamental lessons is that market share now equals revenue later, and if you don’t have market share now, you are not going to have revenue later. Another fundamental lesson is that whoever gets the volume does win in the end. Just plain wins.”
Success is understanding the power of viral marketing. One of the “secrets” of success of the Netscape browser was the way in which it was marketed. The browser included new HTML tags that allowed Web designers greater control and creativity. Excited designers quickly began incorporating the new tags into their web pages. The new tags could only be read by Netscape, so the designers would usually include a note that their pages were best viewed with Netscape and a link to the page where it could be downloaded.
[Sources: http://www.thocp.net, http://www.ibiblio.org]
Back in 1995, my wife and I had a successful graphic design business. We had a small office in a great Boston neighborhood just a few minutes walking distance from our apartment. We were not rich, but we were making enough to live comfortably in our then-current lifestyle. We then had a decision to make: we had an opportunity to sell our graphic design business, along with our steady income, and focus on Internet development. Even though our Internet revenue was only about $10 per month at the time, we made what turned out to be one of our most successful business decisions and sold the graphic design business. That one decision resulted in a chain of events that allowed us to live our dreams.
A decision is defined as the act of reaching a conclusion or making up one’s mind. A successful decision is one that brings us closer to, not further from, achieving success. The decisions we make are really a result of who we are as a person; they are a reflection of our inner self. Even though the most successful individuals make poor decisions now and then, more often than not, success-minded individuals make successful decisions.
Sometimes, the least successful decision we can make is choosing not to make a decision. Being indecisive is one of the major obstacles people run into while pursuing success. If you neglect to make timely decisions...
Fortunately, there are ways to help us make more timely and successful decisions. Let’s take a look at some of the more effective ways.
Getting the right answer begins with asking the right question. Instead of asking yourself, “Should I do this?,” ask yourself, “If I do this will it bring me closer to my goals?” Doors of opportunities are always opening, but they are not always open. You need also to be decisive and make decisions as soon as you feel you have enough information to make the right ones. Remember that just one decision can lead to a chain of events that can forever change your life.
I often hear statements being made such as, “To be successful, you have to sacrifice your personal life,” or “Successful people are only successful because they missed out on life’s pleasures while striving for success,” or even “Those with full pockets have empty souls.” In fact, the fear of sacrifice is one of the leading causes of fear of success. It is not difficult to understand why these statements are so universally accepted: they make it easy to justify one’s own lack of success. While there are those who have made poor sacrifices to get where they are, the majority of those who have achieved success have done so by making positive sacrifices that were not difficult to make. These are the sacrifices that lead to success.
Sacrifice is about giving up something of value for something else of higher perceived value. This plays an important role in success because success is about the long-term and not about giving in to instant gratification. In our pursuit of success, we often must take a step back in order to take a giant leap forward. This backward step is often known as sacrifice. The key to embracing sacrifice is taking value from that which you are sacrificing and adding value to that for which you are making the sacrifice. To illustrate, several years ago I used to drink on average two liters of diet soda a day. I knew that water was a healthier choice, and I decided to sacrifice my enjoyment of drinking diet soda for my overall health. While I cannot say this sacrifice was easy, it was one of the easier sacrifices I have made because I had taken the time to research the detrimental effects of diet soda, as well as the health benefits of drinking water. This research helped me to devalue the diet soda and place more value on water. It only took me about a week to learn to enjoy water more than diet soda; then, diet soda was no longer a sacrifice since it no longer had any value to me.
Here are a few positive sacrifices you can make along with some tips on how to embrace the sacrifice.
Along with the positive sacrifices come the not-so-positive sacrifices, or poor sacrifices. These are sacrifices that we shouldn’t make because they will do more damage to our success and/or happiness than good.
No success story is complete without sacrifice. However, contrary to popular belief, the sacrifices one needs to make to achieve success do not have to be that difficult and they certainly do not have to take away from one’s character. Let’s consider the words of Sidney Howard, who wrote, “One-half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.”
What is the big deal with having experience? Why do employers require it for their higher-paid positions? Why do customers require it from contractors they hire? Why do professionals demand it from themselves? How do we get experience, and perhaps most important, how do we get around not having traditional experience? These questions are asked by students and business veterans alike. No one is ever too old or too “accomplished” to better themselves by seeking experience.
As Ebeneezer Scrooge discovered, experience, or the active participation in events or activities leading to the accumulation of knowledge or skill, is the ultimate teacher. The majority of mistakes are made early on when practicing a new skill. The common perception is those with experience have already made the majority of their mistakes. Employers also value experience because of the costs associated with training and the productivity levels of experienced employees versus those with no experience. Experience is used as a general indicator of one’s ability.
So why should adults who have “been there, done that” seek experience? Nobody is perfect. Experience is a very effective method of bringing one closer to perfection. Any one job or career can consist of several or even hundreds of skill sets. Professionals who seek to improve on these skill sets are wise to seek experience in these skill sets. For example, Toastmasters International (http://www.toastmasters.org) is an organization with local chapters all around the world that exists to help individuals build communication and speaking skills through experience. This organization has given millions of ambitious people practical experience since 1924.
There are numerous ways to get experience in the traditional sense. This is the kind of experience that most employers are looking for and/or expect.
So far, I have presented information on experience that you have most likely been exposed to before. This is because I feel it is important to stress the necessity of traditional experience. However, I would also like to share with you some “secrets” about experience.
When an employer posts an ad saying a certain amount of experience is necessary, what they are really saying is a) they want to be sure they get applicants that know what they are doing, b) they do not want to spend excessive money on training, or c) they want applicants who have already made their “beginners’ mistakes.” If you can address these concerns without having the practical experience the company may be looking for, you have a just as good, if not better, chance at competing with applicants that have the experience. In addition, don't underestimate your own abilities. Ability, not experience, is what employers are really looking for. Experience just happens to be an excellent indicator of one’s ability. Convince the employer of your ability, and your lack of practical experience will not be a handicap.
I have mentioned “practical” or “traditional” experience as the experiences that most employers are looking for in applicants. There are also many other non-traditional or creative ways to gain experience. Just because these are often overlooked by employers, it does not mean you should overlook them. Remember, experience is defined as the active participation in events or activities leading to the accumulation of knowledge or skill. This is quite a broad definition that allows one to be creative while gaining experience. Here are some of those creative ways.
Experience is one of the best teachers. Gaining experience will allow you to develop your skills and broaden your opportunities. However, don't underestimate your abilities due to a lack of experience. Every great person in any field had to start somewhere without experience. The world is full of exceptionally talented and gifted people who will remain undiscovered because of their self-imposed limitations due to inexperience. Do not be one of these people. Gain either the traditional or creative experience needed to enhance your abilities and be the best you can be.
We are presented with new ideas every day of our lives. These are the same new ideas that advance our technology, ease suffering, establish peace, and generally make the world a better place in which to live. In order for a new idea to have such a positive effect on society and the human race, it must be accepted by others. Some ideas, such as the use of personal computers, have been accepted rather quickly whereas other ideas, such as world peace, may just be “too idealistic” to be universally accepted. While we cannot force our ideas or beliefs on anyone, we can learn to live with an open mind and accept new ideas that will empower us and bring us closer to success.
Throughout this course, I have hinted at the importance of having an “open mind,” and now I would like to explain why. Someone with an open mind is a person who is willing to accept new ideas and beliefs. In most cases, people have open minds on some subjects and closed minds on others. Unfortunately, many people have closed their minds on subjects in which they have disempowering beliefs. For example, those who were brought up with the belief “...money is the root of all evil,” have a difficult time accepting the positive influences money can have. Those with open minds avoid ignorance and open themselves up to opportunity by agreeing to consider new information.
An open mind is like a good sense of humor—everyone thinks they have one; however, that is not the case. Closed-minded individuals often just consider themselves “cautious,” “decisive” or justify their non-acceptance of new ideas or beliefs in some other way. Here are a few of the most common reasons why not everyone is open-minded.
An open mind will allow you to make better decisions in your life while at the same time helping you to become a more understanding and sympathetic person. Lack of knowledge, or ignorance, on a subject, can be avoided by having an open-minded attitude. You can choose to reject information, beliefs, or ideas after you have considered them, but not before you are even presented with them. Keep an open mind and let success find its way inside.
Madam C.J. Walker (1867-1919) was an entrepreneur, philanthropist, social activist, and one of America’s first self-made woman millionaires.
Success is not something into which you are ever born. While some people are born into families and situations giving them advantages, Madam C.J. Walker was not one of those people. As a daughter of former slaves, orphaned at age seven, living in a time when racial equality was unheard of, Walker survived by working in the cotton fields.
Success is not only for the well-educated. Because of her impoverished background, Walker had only a limited formal education.
Success is knowing that it is never too late to pursue greatness. For eighteen years, from 1887-1905, Walker supported herself and her daughter by working as a washerwoman.
Success begins with perceiving the world in a positive light—a perception with hope and opportunity. Friendships with other black women who were members of St. Paul A.M.E. Church and the National Association of Colored Women exposed Walker to a new way of viewing the world.
Success can be a result of acting on a crisis. At age 37, Walker found herself facing baldness due to poor diet—a common problem in those days among Black women. She experimented with many homemade remedies and store-bought products, none of which produced a satisfactory result. She “tinkered” with some existing solutions until she found something that worked and decided to market it.
Success is minimizing risk and maximizing gain. As a poor minority in the early 20th century, Walker was in an excellent position for success by having nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Success is knowing the importance of education. When Walker was still working as washerwoman, making about $1.50 per day, she managed to save enough money to educate her daughter. To ensure her success, Walker surrounded herself with educated people in her business and employed tutors to help her with her own education.
Success is knowing your market. Traditional marketing at the time consisted mostly of advertising. However, Walker knew that the majority of her target market, Black women, were not able to read. As a result, she began a highly successful face-to-face network marketing campaign, which was unique at the time.
Success is giving others hope. At a time when most Black women were just menial laborers, Walker offered hope and opportunity by creating a professional salesforce of Black women, some of whom made hundreds of dollars per day.
[Sources: http://www.madamecjwalker.com, http://www.princeton.edu, Investor’s Business Daily - 1998]
Bill was a hard-working data entry guy at ABC Processing, Inc. who was always on time and respectful of others. However, he would frequently chat with his co-workers about someday winning the lottery, telling off his boss, “not taking no crap from no one” (deliberate triple negative), and sleeping in when he felt like it. One day, with a stroke of good fortune, Bill did win the lottery and did just what he promised. Shortly after, Bill’s co-workers commented on how much “he changed” since he won the lottery. In actuality, the money did not change Bill; it allowed him to be his true self. Unfortunately for Bill, his expression of his true self eventually caused him to lose his job and his friends.
When I sold Adgrafix, my first company of significant value, my wife and I gave away about two million dollars. We did not become more generous when we became wealthy; we just had more to give. Contrary to popular belief, either the abundance or lack of money does not change people; it just brings out who they really are.
Do people act differently when they become wealthy? Yes, many do. Many millionaires play the part of the stereotypical millionaire, even though, that is not who they really are. They can act cocky, egotistical, or callous. They can also act self-assured, generous, or benevolent. It does not matter how they act, good or bad, if they are not being themselves it will cause inner turmoil that will eventually lead to self-sabotage. When I first became a millionaire I thought I should “dress the part” of a millionaire, so I spent quite a bit of money on dress pants, shirts and sports jackets. I was uncomfortable, felt stupid, and was tired of taking my clothes to the cleaners rather than just throwing them in the wash. I went back to my sub-$100 Eddie Bauer outfit, and I am once again comfortable, confident; and back to washing my own clothes.
Money itself is neither good nor evil; it is neutral. Money cannot change who you are, but the desire to “act the part” can cause you to behave in ways that are inconsistent with your personality. Don’t be afraid of what you might become with money; instead, work on who you are now. When money does come your way, it will only amplify the solid character you have already built.
Almost daily I get the calls from monotone telemarketers who say, “Hello Mr. Benet (yes, my name is Bennett, but they rarely get it right) how are you doing today?” Then, right after that lame opening, they start with their sale pitch. My response has become as automated as their opening: “No thank you, please take me off your list.” This all-too-common, fast-track sales approach has, to the detriment of the sales profession, been adopted by many sales “professionals” outside of telemarketing. Many salespeople overlook this one very important concept: before you can sell anything to anybody, you must sell yourself first.
“Selling yourself” refers to gaining the trust and confidence of those to whom you are selling a product, service, or idea. It is about establishing rapport and building credibility, and perhaps most important, it is about being likable. Building this kind of relationship prior to asking for the sale, takes down any defensive barriers that may have once existed. It allows the prospect to be more receptive and open-minded to your message. Think about it. Would you be more likely to buy a product, service, or idea from someone whom you have never met, or from a good friend? In some cases, you may buy from a good friend only because they are a good friend, not because you really need what they are selling.
Selling yourself consists of five elements. Each of these elements are essential to increasing your chances of making a successful sale.
As you can imagine, it is difficult to achieve all of this on the first call. This is why good salespeople don’t usually attempt to sell on the first call. Some don’t attempt to sell their product until the third call, and some prefer to set up appointments when more time can be devoted to selling themselves first. This is an example of consultive selling (or consultative selling) where the salesperson acts as more of a consultant by taking the time to understand the needs and wants of the prospect. Only once the salesperson feels he has established likability, rapport, confidence, trust, and credibility, does he go for the sale.
This sales process does require patience. Most rookies will go right for the close in an attempt to close as many sales as possible in as little time as possible. This is playing the risky numbers game in a market where good prospects are hard to find. Spend the extra time needed to build relationships and earn the respect of your prospects before trying to sell them your product, service, or idea. You will find very quickly that the extra effort is well worth it.
It seems as if people like to dish out advice on trust just as much as new parents like to give advice on pregnancy. Ralph Waldo Emerson suggests, “Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.” William Shakespeare advises, “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” And famed writer Stanislaw Lem cautions, “Do not trust people. They are capable of greatness.” Well, when it comes to giving advice on trust, I am no different. It is not only your trust in others, but the level of trust that others have in you that play an important role in success.
Trust is defined as a firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. For this lesson, we will focus on trust in people (with one mention of a dog). Trust is not mere reliability. You may rely on a delivery boy to deliver confidential documents across town, but you may not trust that he will not read the documents. You may trust your teenage child to make the right choices when it comes to drugs, but you may not always rely on him or her to be home exactly when asked. Trust is not global. I trust my dog alone with my two young children, but I would never trust him alone near an open pizza box. Trust is not absolute. You may trust a new babysitter enough to watch your children the moment you hire her, but it can take years to build a deep level of trust to the point where you are truly comfortable.
You must trust others, as well as earn the trust of others, in order to get ahead. Trust is the foundation of all professional relationships, friendships, and love. Although you may excel in other parts of your life, without trust in your relationships, success will be just out of your reach.
Begin by learning to place your trust in others. You cannot reach success on your own; everyone depends on others for something. But trust goes beyond mere dependability. I like to think of those I trust more as extensions of myself who can help with my purpose. A key element of success is surrounding yourself with people you can trust.
Unfortunately, people become “hardened” over time due to bad experiences of misplaced trust. These people tend to close the door on trust and adopt the “trust nobody” attitude of the overly cautious, sentencing themselves to a life where success is just out of reach. Forgive the cliché, but don’t let a few bad apples spoil the bunch. When others betray your trust, learn from the experience; just do not give up on trust altogether.
So when can you trust someone? While there are no hard rules, I can share this advice.
Once you allow yourself to trust others, others will be more likely to trust you. Here are some more suggestions on how you can be seen as more trustworthy.
Trust is a key element to success. Allow yourself to be more trusting, while still being cautious. Make it easier for others to put their trust in you by becoming more trustworthy. And remember that deep trust may take a lifetime to build, but only takes minutes to destroy.
To this day, when I think of the ultimate display of teamwork I can’t help but think of the Harlem Globe Trotters. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the basketball team, they are a group of some of the most talented athletes in the world who focus on entertainment rather than competition. When they perform, they are like one person with one common mission. It appears as if each one of them knows exactly what the other is thinking at any given moment. By winning over 98% of all games played since 1927, the Globetrotters own the best winning percentage in the history of professional sports. Teamwork is the key to their success.
Teamwork is defined as cooperative effort by the members of a group or team to achieve a common goal. Effective teamwork benefits from synergy or the combined energies being greater than the sum of the parts. Although obviously vital to team sports, teamwork and success in virtually any part of life go hand in hand. If you are one who can create, manage and/or lead teams effectively, your skills are in high demand. If you can participate in, and more importantly, excel in a team environment, you will find more opportunities for success. Organizations worldwide are beginning to realize and profit from the synergies an effective team can create. Teamwork is a trend, not a fad.
Many managers and leaders who stress teamwork are often scoffed at because they fail to sell the benefits of teamwork to the team members. Teamwork is viewed by these members as just another way for management to get them to do something they really don’t want to do. This attitude is detrimental to everybody, including the overall success of the team itself. Here are some suggestions on how leaders and team members alike can ensure effective teamwork.
Keeping teams strong is a challenge. There are members who seek individual glory, members who think nobody works as hard as they do, members who find it difficult to trust others, members who do not believe they are an important part of the team, and members who just have issues. Follow the above suggestions, and you will find that most of these issues can be minimized or even eliminated.
Teamwork is the ultimate act of coordination and cooperation that, through synergy, can accomplish fantastic things. Building an effective team is not easy nor is keeping one together, but it is done every day by leading sports organizations, businesses, and other groups that know the power of an effective team. So next time the Harlem Globe Trotters are in town, catch a game and see for yourself the “magic” that good teamwork can create.
Jackie Chan (1954–) is a director, producer, stuntman, and actor. Jackie is one of the few martial artists who has managed to make it “big” in Hollywood.
Success is not always doing what is popular, or what others want. After spending years working as a stuntman under the security of the academy where Chan studied, much to his family’s dismay, Jackie went off on his own.
Success is standing out from the crowd. As a stuntman in Bruce Lee’s 1972 hit film Fist of Fury, Jackie reportedly completed the highest fall in the history of the Chinese film industry.
Success is having a solid reputation. As the film industry grew crowded, and stunt work dwindled, Jackie was still able to find work due to his reputation as a fearless stuntman.
Success does not come easily. In perfecting his craft, Jackie has broken his nose three times, his ankle, most of his fingers, both his cheekbones and his skull (patched together with a steel plate).
Success is finding your own place. Shorty after Bruce Lee’s death, Jackie, like most martial artists at the time, was unsuccessful at becoming the “next Bruce Lee.” It was not until Jackie invented his own unique film style by combining humor and death-defying stunts that he became famous as an actor.
Success is being inspired. Jackie got inspiration for his humorous/crazy film style from legendary film clowns such as Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd.
Success is creating opportunity from problems. During the filming of one of Jackie’s earlier movies, so many stuntmen were injured that none would agree to work with Chan again. In response, Jackie founded the Jackie Chan Stuntmen Association, whose members he personally trained and paid their medical bills.
Success does not happen overnight. Jackie’s dream was always to be an international movie star. Although he has been well known in Hong Kong for decades, it was not until about 1996 when Jackie had his first American hit, Rumble in the Bronx. It took Jackie about 40 years to realize his ultimate dream.
Success is having a winning smile. Perhaps a large part of Jackie’s success is due to his great smile that he always seems to be wearing... who knows.
[Sources: http://www.biography.com, http://www.hkfilm.net, http://www.tiscali.co.uk]
Imagine being the human resources director for a large firm. You are reviewing applications and seeking candidates to fill a top-level position. After searching through hundreds of resumes, you come across a candidate that looks perfect on paper, and you arrange an interview. Within the first 30 seconds of the interview, you realize you’ve made a mistake when the candidate says to you, “Thanks for invitin’ me here. It’s frezzin’ outside—I prob’ly shoulda worn a heav’yer coat.” Although the candidate looks like a professional and has the credentials to back him up, you do not give him the job because you know his poor articulation will evoke negative perceptions in customers who speak with him.
Articulation is the process by which sounds, syllables, and words are formed when your tongue, jaw, teeth, lips, and palate alter the air stream coming from the vocal folds. Poor articulation is when the sounds of words are omitted, substituted, distorted, or just plain slurred. The two most common problem areas are adjacent words that are blended together, as in “shoulda” for “should have,” and sounds in words that are omitted, as in “fishin” for “fishing.” Here is a list of some of the more common problem words:
gonna = going to
woulda = would have
coulda = could have
shoulda = should have
ta = to
moun’n = mountain
foun’n = fountain
finely = finally
probly = probably
whatcha = what are you
gimmie = give me
importn = important
ya = you
and dropping the “g” from any word ending in “ing”
Poor articulation can certainly be due to physical or mental disorders beyond our immediate control. Not everyone is gifted with the ability to clearly articulate words. However, the large majority of articulation problems are due to factors within our complete control. If you are one of those people fortunate enough to have the ability to clearly articulate words, you must not take it for granted.
Here are the top three reasons most people succumb to sloppy articulation along with some suggestions for improvement.
Poor articulation is often a result of years of bad habit. The good news is while it may seem challenging at first to clearly articulate all of your words, clear articulation will quickly replace poor articulation, and become a new habit. You have already started to become aware of your articulation and you will now notice whenever you slur your words.
Good articulation does not mean “changing who you are” or “speaking like a snob”; think of it as just being appropriate. Good articulation is not the same as being formal; it is just not being lazy. Nobody will think less of you for using good articulation.
Articulation and the adequacy of our speech affect our social, emotional, educational, and vocational status, as well as the overall quality of our lives. Make a conscious effort to no longer slur your words. You will find that others will perceive you to be more educated. You will find yourself to be more self-confident than ever before while having more opportunities that can lead you to success.
Success has been summed up in three words: passion, persistence, and patience. Although many people who pursue success have the passion, and some the persistence, very few possess the virtue of patience. This course is called “Year To Success,” not “24 Hours To Success” or even “30 Days To Success.” Why? Marketing people tell me, in order to sell more books, I should appeal to the desires of instant gratification and create a course that infers success within a much shorter time. However, my goal is not to deceive others; it is to help as many people as possible live more fulfilling lives by achieving success and reaching their full potential. This is only possible with patience. I believe the importance of patience is best summed up by the Dutch, who say, “A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.”
Having patience is being capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; not being hasty or impulsive. Impatience is just another name for instant gratification, one of the greatest afflictions of humankind. Patience is often said to be a result of having several other virtues and qualities such as tolerance, compassion, understanding, flexibility, and a good sense of humor. Or as Saint Augustine said, “Patience is the companion of wisdom.”
We all know that patience is important in life and is a respectable quality and virtue to possess, so why is it so rare a virtue? The answer is a lack of belief in a favorable outcome. In order to have patience, you must have believe that the result or outcome will be favorable. Without belief in a favorable outcome, feelings of uncertainty and anxiety set in, otherwise known as impatience.
When others ask you to “have patience” or to “be patient,” they are essentially asking you to trust that the outcome or result will be favorable. If you have sufficient reason for this level of trust, then it is good advice. However, if you do not have this level of trust, then you are not being impatient, you simply have the feeling that you are getting nowhere, and you should change your course of action. Patience should never be used as an excuse for continuing to do the wrong thing.
Patience is a state of mind that can allow you to live a more enjoyable and successful life. Or as George-Louis de Buffon said, “Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience.” Fortunately, patience can be developed. Here are some suggestions on how you can build an aptitude for patience.
Aristotle once wrote, “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” It is not easy to practice patience, but those who do are rewarded in many ways. Patience can be learned like any other skill. Patience should also be practiced like any other skill as well. Learn to recognize the conditions in which trust is warranted and know when to change your actions or sit back and “have patience.” Overnight success dies hard whereas lasting success requires passion, persistence, and patience.
Imagine a world where everyone around you was successful. All of your peers were over-achievers, every business in your area was thriving, and everyone you met was a multi-millionaire who appeared to be happy and living fulfilling lives. Now imagine, if you will, how you would feel living in such a world with your current level of achievement. Would you feel any less successful? Do you think your level of achievement would stay the same or increase?
Being your best is about holding yourself to a higher standard and realizing your full potential. We all have the need for belonging, and this need is met by pushing ourselves to a moderate level of achievement based on the society in which we live. Should we be letting other people set the pace for our success or lack thereof? Do you tend to base your own potential on the potential of “the crowd,” and see those who succeed as exceptions? Perhaps it is time to compare our potential and ability to the only person who really matters—ourselves.
How can you learn to be your best, hold yourself to a higher standard, and live up to your full potential? Here are just a few ways.
It seems like common sense that we would all strive to be our best, so why don’t we? Some people buy the excuse, “I am what I am.” This is true, we are who we are but that does not mean we cannot change. There is nothing wrong with striving to become a better person. There are also those who fear they will become one of those people who act like they are “too good” for others or have a “holier than thou” attitude. You are not, nor ever will be, better than anyone else besides the person you are now. Remember that, and you will not only have greater respect for all others, but they will have greater respect for you as well.
Being your best is a goal that should be at the top of your list. It is a generic goal that will take a lifetime to achieve. It is, however, a goal where the pursuit alone will increase your chances of living a more fulfilled and successful life.
I remember the first time I got a flat tire. I was a teenager and only had been driving for about a year. I knew from being in the car with my parents and from watching TV that when you get a flat tire you are supposed to call the car derogatory names, look up to the sky and yell, “Why me God?,” then just be angry while changing the tire. So that is exactly what I did. Later, when I shared my “tragic” story with others, I realized how exciting the experience really was and how the experience actually made me a more confident driver. All too often we react based on how we think we are supposed to react in such a situation, as opposed to taking just a moment to think about the good in the situation and how we can make the best out of the “bad” situation that we cannot change.
The ability to make the best out of a bad situation can play an important role in success. It has been said that one’s true character is revealed in times of adversity. It is in times of adversity when others see us for who we really are, and not just who we are trying to become. There are many obstacles along the road to success. When we encounter these obstacles, our behavior and actions will usually determine if we proceed down the road to success, turn back, or stay where we are indefinitely. At the same time, others will judge us based on our response to adverse situations.
Making the best of a bad situation is all about attitude and action. First, realize that you may not have any control over the situation; you do have control over your response to the situation. Then, choose the appropriate action that will allow you to make the best out of the situation. Here are a few examples:
Here are some general things to remember when faced with a bad situation:
The next time you find yourself in a bad situation, remember attitude and action. At first, you may feel like you are fighting your true emotions, but remember that negative emotions will only make the situation worse while positive emotions can quickly spread and make the situation better for everyone involved. The ability to make the best of a bad situation is a sign of a true leader.
Michael Dell (1965–) is founder and CEO of Dell, Inc., the largest personal computer company in the world.
Success is having the entrepreneurial spirit. At age 12, Dell formed a direct marketing company, which offered a national stamp auction through the mail. Four years later, he created a venture for selling newspaper subscriptions through target marketing and bought a BMW with the $18,000 he earned.
Success does not take much money or an ideal environment. Michael founded the Dell Computer Corporation in 1984 with nothing more than $1,000 and an idea that started out of his dorm room.
Success is doing what you are passionate about. Dell went to college intending to become a doctor. Meanwhile, his hobby was working with computers. His hobby won out.
Success is being efficient. Dell, Inc. is now worth billions because Michael saw an opportunity for bypassing the middleman, who adds little value to the products, and sells custom-built PCs directly to end users.
Success is having vision. Dell offered the first toll-free technical support and on-site service in the PC business—services that are now standard practice throughout the industry.
Success is making your mark. With the addition of Dell Computer Corporation to the Fortune 500 in 1992, Dell became the youngest CEO of a company ever to earn a ranking on the Fortune 500.
Success is sharing. Michael Dell has established a number of foundations within his organization committed to philanthropic and community services. These foundations work to advance educational, environmental, business, economic, and social issues.
Success is making opportunity for others. In just 18 years, Dell, Inc. has grown from a one-person operation to a company with 46,000 employees.
Success is being able to show leadership. Mr. Dell has been honored many times for his visionary leadership, including in 2003 being named one of the top-ten most powerful people in business by Fortune magazine.
[Sources: http://www.askmen.com, http://www1.us.dell.com, http://www.biography.com]
Both Harry and David were in line for a supervisor position at a large industrial business. They were both equally qualified, were hired on the same day, and had just about equal abilities in every way. Cindy, the VP of human resources, had a tough decision to make. After the final interview, Cindy had made up her mind and had given David the supervisor position. Why? Simply because David began the interview by thanking Cindy for the opportunity to interview. When it comes to success, little courtesies can go a long way.
Courtesies are polite behaviors, gestures, or remarks. While entire books have been written on manners, this lesson focuses on a few select behaviors that apply to both professional and personal situations, which are most likely to influence your level of success.
Being courteous is about showing respect for others. By showing others respect, you in turn will be shown respect. People like to be respected; therefore by showing respect, people will like you more for it. Often when in a position of power, one forgets or feels he does not have to show courtesy to those “beneath” him. He feels that by showing courtesy it would somehow lessen his power. Actually, the opposite is true. Showing courtesy is a way to get others to like you, which will help you to have more influence over them. When it comes to courtesy, we are all on the same level—no one is beneath or above anyone else.
Some of the most powerful courtesies are verbal. The two most powerful and well-known courtesies are “please” and “thank you.” Some others are
can you please
would you be so kind
I would appreciate it if
excuse me
I am sorry
Other courtesies include gestures. Here are some ways to practice your courteousness.
If you are a woman who refuses to open a door for a man because of some 50s sexual politics, or a man who refuses to extend your hand to a woman for whatever reason, get over your sexist issues. Everyone, regardless of gender, deserves to be shown respect through common courtesy.
Being courteous is being affable, attentive, ceremonious, civil, civilized, complaisant, considerate, courtly, cultivated, debonair, elegant, gallant, genteel, gentle, gentlemanly, gracious, ladylike, polished, polite, refined, respectful, soft-spoken, suave, thoughtful, urbane, well-behaved, well-bred, well-mannered, and well-spoken (yes, I did use a thesaurus for that). But most of all, being courteous is part of being an overall good person.
There is an old saying that goes, “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” This is a perfect example of bad advice. First of all, I do not agree with that statement simply because of the absolute word “never.” My second issue is with the word “can.” We can all spend our day staring at the wall, but just because we are capable of doing this, certainly does not mean we should. These “words of wisdom” contained in that old saying that was written to battle procrastination, ignore one of the very important principles of success: spend each day doing what you need to do, should do, and want to do, in that order. In other words, prioritize.
Once again, we see the 80/20 rule in effect. In respect to time management and the average person, 80% of one’s productivity is a result of 20% of one’s time. Conversely, 80% of one’s time is spent on only 20% of the activities that are considered productive. The key to greater achievement, productivity, and success is being able to shift the scale, so more of your time is spent on more productive activities.
Easier said than done. The biggest challenge we face as mere mortals is having the discipline to do what needs to be done, when it should be done, rather than do what we want to do when we feel like doing it. At times, we choose to do the less important tasks of our day simply because we do not look forward to doing the tasks that really need to get done. This is actually a very common example of procrastination, or the act of needlessly postponing or delaying.
There is only one real reason we procrastinate: we associate more pain with doing what needs to be done than not doing what needs to be done. Therefore, the key to avoiding procrastination and focusing more on the tasks that need and should get done, is associating more pain with procrastination of your priorities, and more pleasure with getting them out of the way. Here are some facts to consider about priorities and procrastination:
Priorities take precedence over that which you “can” do today. Priorities are those tasks or activities that you need or should do today. Rather than accepting clichés such as “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today,” you are better off adopting the philosophy, “Make the best possible use of your time,” which does require sacrifice and self-discipline. The overall goal is not to deprive yourself of the more pleasurable activities, but to substitute the wasteful activities with more productive ones that give you the same or even greater pleasure. At the very least, simply prioritizing the tasks and activities you are already doing by doing what needs to be done, what should be done, and then what you want to do, in that order, will make a world of difference and lead you to greater success.
Imagine yourself a member of a large team. As a member of this team, you are aware of many problems with the team itself as well as the problems the team has with the authority that governs the team. What do you do about it? Do you play it safe and say nothing, or do you go to the authority figure with your list of grievances? There is an old saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”; however, the squeaky wheel is also the first one to get replaced.
Unless you are in some extreme circumstances, such as some military organizations or legal situations (high school can often fall into this category), it is generally NOT a good idea to hide or bury your concerns, but it is best to bring them to the attention of a superior or managerial figure within the organization or group. However, there is a difference between making your concerns known and being the “squeaky wheel.”
The squeaky wheel complains whereas the concerned group member gives feedback.
The squeaky wheel complains about every issue on his or her mind without carefully considering it, whereas the concerned group member gives feedback on only those issues of real concern that he or she has carefully considered.
The squeaky wheel is concerned with only him or herself, whereas the concerned group member knows the only good solution is a win-win situation for all parties involved.
The squeaky wheel is seen by the authority figure(s) as the squeaky wheel that needs replacing, whereas the concerned group member is seen by the authority figure(s) as a respected leader of the group who cares about the success of the group and the organization.
Whether you are a customer who complains in hopes of getting coupons, discounts or deals, or an employee who complains in hopes of getting better working conditions, fewer hours, or more money, consider changing your approach. Here are some suggestions:
As the squeaky wheel, you will get attention, but it will be negative attention. You will be associated with complaints, troubles, and headaches. Change your attitude to one of creating a win-win situation where you have the best interests of all parties in mind. Once you do this, you will no longer be the wheel that needs replacement; you will be the leader who deserves respect.
For over two decades now, people from all over the world have been finding great success on the Internet through the creation of their own websites. To this day, the concept of a website still amazes me: it is a way to distribute information and communicate instantly with people all over the world for very little if any, cost. Never before in history has there been such a cost-effective and widely available opportunity for so many people to find success. Although not necessarily easy, by understanding the basics and some of the “secrets” of creating a website, even as a novice, you can create a successful website.
What is a “successful” website? Simply put, it is a website that achieves its purpose. Just as you must define what success means in your life, you must define what it means for your website. Your objective may be to communicate a message, sell a product, or collect information. You may want to meet this objective on a limited budget and by spending only a limited amount of your time and energy. One must consider all these factors in determining the overall success of a website.
The creation of a successful website can be broken down into four stages: 1) the planning stage, 2) the creation stage, 3) the promotion stage, and 4) the maintenance stage. Each stage is vital to the overall success of the website. If you can create one successful website, you can create several; perhaps you can create multiple streams of income and be well on your way to financial freedom.
Plan, create, promote, and maintain. Each step is equally important and vital to the success of any website. A successful website is the result of a good idea from a successful thinker. To most creators, a website is a very personal thing that they take pride in maintaining and sharing with the world. Create a website and at the very least, enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that goes along with the creation.
Arthur M. Blank (1942–) is the co-founder of The Home Depot, which is the world’s largest home improvement retailer and is the second largest retailer in the United States.
Success is not something into which one is born. Arthur Blank was born in Queens, New York in 1942 and with his parents and brother shared a series of one-bedroom apartments.
Success is having entrepreneurial spirit. In his college years, Arthur launched his own landscaping company, laundry business, and even found time to babysit on the side.
Success is moving onward and upward. In 1978, Arthur Blank and Bernard Marcus (other co-founder of The Home Depot) were fired from the Handy Dan home improvement chain where they were working at the time. This was the event that led to their creation of The Home Depot.
Success is brainstorming. The idea for the Home Depot was mapped out on a napkin by Arthur and Bernie at their favorite coffee shop.
Success often means having to take a step backward in order to take a giant leap forward. When the first three Home Depot stores were opened in Atlanta in 1979, they lost nearly one million dollars.
Success is innovation. The Home Depot has been incredibly successful due to some of the innovations it has brought to the marketplace, such as warehouse-sized stores with large inventories, very low prices, and exceptional customer service provided by skilled professionals.
Success is making a difference. Blank believes in the importance of making a difference—professionally and personally. In addition to the company’s financial success, during his 23 years with The Home Depot the company donated more than $113 million to communities, and Home Depot associates provided hundreds of thousands of hours of personal volunteer time.
Success is keeping fit. Arthur is a strong believer in work-life balance; he still makes time daily for working out and remains an avid runner.
[Sources: http://www.homedepot.com, http://www.zeromillion.com, http://www.lemonadestories.com, http://www.cba.gsu.edu]
It all starts in preschool. You are minding your own business while building a magnificent castle out of wooden blocks. Just as you are putting the finishing touches on the tallest tower, some kid named Billy Sanderson, wearing a t-shirt that reads “Born To Be Bad,” pretends he’s Godzilla and destroys your creation. He then turns to you, opens his big mouth with his two little pointer fingers, sticks out his tongue, then runs off. After you take a moment to digest the situation, you pick up a wooden block, and like an Australian hunting down a kangaroo with a boomerang, you forcefully whip the block at your fleeing adversary. While he cascades into a pile of tinker toys, a feeling of satisfaction overcomes you knowing that you have just dealt with your first difficult person. Unfortunately, dealing with difficult people becomes more challenging outside of preschool. What we need as adults are techniques and philosophies, not wooden blocks.
A difficult person is not the same as an angry person, although a difficult person can be, and often is, angry. A difficult person is not just one who engages in debate or stands up for what he or she believes. A difficult person is characterized by being unreasonable. To be fair and to avoid casting labels on people, all people can be difficult at times. However, it just takes one instance of unreasonable behavior for someone to earn the label “difficult.”
For some people, being difficult appears to be in their “nature.” Some people actually get joy and satisfaction from arguing, criticizing, condemning and complaining. Some people are conditioned to be that way due to a lifetime of negative experiences; being difficult is their defense. Others just want to be heard; they want a sympathetic ear and someone who will give them the attention they desire. No excuse, however, can justify the unyielding and irrational behavior of a difficult person.
Ideally, avoiding difficult people is better than dealing with them. However, when mere avoidance is not possible or practical, we must deal with difficult people. When you find yourself in a situation confronted by a difficult person, try this three-step process:
You shouldn't expect to turn every difficult person around; you can only do your best. If at any time you feel the threat of physical harm, let the person know that they are making you feel uncomfortable and if possible call for backup (manager, supervisor, friend). Sometimes a great attitude and exceptional diplomatic skills are not enough to break through a life-long pattern of another’s unreasonable behaviors. However, possessing the ability to deal with difficult people will be of tremendous value to you in many situations, and it is an ability that can help you to get ahead in just about anything you do.
Recently I was at a social event where I was engaged in a casual conversation with another guest. As he was talking to me, my children were getting antsy and wanting to go. I frequently, but politely, glanced over at them, giving them the “one moment” hand signal and turned my body toward the door, while still making eye contact with the other guest who was still talking to me. After what seemed to be at least five minutes, my son had dropped his pizza on the floor allowing me to interrupt the other guest, excuse myself, and rush over to assist my son. Although I did not speak the words, my body language was screaming, “I really have to go now” for several minutes; the other guest who was doing the talking just did not see it. Result: an awkward situation that could have easily been avoided.
It is said that over 90% of communication is more than just the words we use, and 60% of our communication is nonverbal, or body language. It is also believed that nonverbal signs have about five times more impact than verbal ones. To illustrate, imagine yourself meeting two new people. The first person coldly says, “Nice to meet you” while not even making eye contact with you. The second person says nothing but looks on you with a warm smile and open arms, then proceeds to give you a compassionate hug. After you say to yourself, “okay...this is weird,” you realize the spoken words or lack of spoken words actually meant very little. The ability to read or effectively interpret body language can
In general, having the ability to read body language is an important part of success.
Body language can be both a natural and a learned behavior. Some body language is cultural as in the handshake or the bow. Some body language does appear to be natural, such as the facial expressions that represent our emotions. Some body language, such as dramatically removing the spectacles to show intense interest, is picked up from watching movies. In reading body language, it is important to understand that it is more of an art than a science; that is, just because someone folds their arms does not mean they are being defensive—they could just be cold. It is up to you to use other indicators such as your common sense to know the difference.
Here are just some of the more common nonverbal signals and their generally accepted interpretations.
Once you can read body language, you can also use body language to project the image or emotion you desire. For example, expressive individuals use their whole body when speaking. This makes them appear more interesting and enthusiastic. If you are giving a sales presentation to a prospect, you want to avoid shifty eyes and covering your mouth while speaking. Since people tend to mirror body language, if you want someone to accept what you are saying, don’t cross your arms or lean away.
Just as it is important to listen actively, it is important to watch actively, or listen, with your eyes, as well as your ears. People more often say what they mean with their body language than they do with their words. Be a more effective communicator by becoming a keen observer of body language.
January 1, the date when millions of people around the world make what they call “New Year’s resolutions.” January 3, the date that about 50% of those people “fall off the wagon.” By April 1, more than 90% of those “resolution” makers decided that their “resolutions” were not that important after all. Most people make New Year’s resolutions as frivolously as deciding what to watch on television. Even if you are one of the few with the best intentions of keeping to your commitment, if you can’t resolve to do something right now, the chances are you won’t do it in the new year.
Resolution is defined as the state or quality of being resolute—firm determination. A resolution is not a goal, or not something that you “try” to do; it is something you do. When you make a resolution, there is no turning back, and failure to stick to your resolution is not an option. Most true resolutions are made in moments of inspiration or desperation. It is like a moment of pure clarity when you just know that you do not just want to do something, but must do something. To find this moment of inspiration and clarity, arm yourself with enough reasons why you are committed to this resolution.
Resolutions can be divided into two general categories: the “give up” resolutions and the “to do” resolutions, each with their own specific ways to help ensure successful resolutions.
The “give up” resolution. When you resolve to give something up, you must have a reasonable substitute prepared. The better the substitute, (the more pleasurable and less painful) the more successful the resolution will be. For example, if you resolve to give up drinking cola and other carbonated, sugared or artificially sweetened beverages, then have a drink ready to substitute—hopefully one that is better for your health.
The “to do” resolutions. Although resolutions should not be confused with goals that you may or may not reach, resolutions, like goals, must be as specific as possible. A resolution such as “get in shape” is very vague where no specific actions are given. However, a resolution to “jog on the treadmill for at least five miles a day, four days a week” is much better.
For any resolution, realize that once it becomes a habit, it becomes much easier to adhere to. How long something takes to become a habit depends on both the person and the something. As time passes, the uncomfortable feeling of change inevitably subsides.
There is a law that can be your best friend or worst enemy when it comes to resolutions. This is the law of momentum. An automobile uses more gas to get going than it does to maintain its current speed. Like an automobile, resolutions take more energy to begin than they do to maintain. If you were to step on the gas repeatedly, then jam on brakes, you would not get very far before running out of gas. The same holds true for your resolutions. Once you resolve to do something, conserve energy and stick with it.
A resolution is not a goal; it is a commitment backed by firm determination. When you resolve to do or not to do something, you remove all other options. If you can’t start your New Year’s resolutions right now, the chances are you will not be able to keep them in the new year, and your “resolutions” are nothing more than items on your wish list that will most likely remain there year after year. You have got the will power and the ability inside you—make true resolutions right now.
I will never forget that one summer night back in 1985 in Bridgeport, Connecticut, when I was 13 years old. I was with a group of friends in a mini-mall parking lot, waiting for our ride home. All of the stores had closed and just a few of the parking lot lights had remained on—it was not the best place for a bunch of kids from the “good side of town” to be after dark. In the distance, we saw a large group of older kids approaching. When they spotted us, they stopped, and only one of the group members came forward. By this kid’s appearance, we could tell he was a local, and by his words and actions we could clearly tell he was looking for trouble. In that moment, I felt completely helpless and vulnerable like never before. Just minutes later, our ride arrived, and we were free from danger. But it was in that moment of complete vulnerability that I made the decision to learn how to defend myself, so I never had to feel that way again.
The general term “martial arts” refers to the many styles that instruct in the art of hand and foot fighting that have been developed over a period of 2,000 years. Today, martial arts are practiced by millions of people in virtually every country, recently evolving into a modern international Olympic sport. But martial arts is much more than a sport; like success, it is a lifetime process of self-improvement and self-discovery. Martial arts helps us realize our true potential both physically and mentally. Here are just some of the benefits:
It is unfortunate that many people get turned off by martial arts because they do not ask themselves the right questions when looking for a school. So in the spirit of success, here is a quick guide to choosing the right martial arts school.
Martial arts is not about fighting; it’s about building character. I believe that the skills that I have learned in my martial arts training has helped me get where I am today. Consider joining a martial arts class for its physical, mental, and social benefits, or if you are raising children over the age of four, consider introducing them to martial arts. The skills, abilities, and character built will, without question, help you (or your children) to achieve success.
David Thomas (1932-2002) was the founder of Wendy’s, one of the world’s largest restaurant chains of over 5,000 restaurants located throughout the U.S. and in 34 countries.
Success is humility. In his books and in interviews, Thomas talks of being approached by those who recognize him from television and say he must be someone famous. Dave says he replies, “I’m nobody, really. I just make hamburgers for a living.”
Success is having positive influences in your life. Dave’s adoptive grandmother, Minnie Sinclair, taught Dave that as long as you work hard you will never have enough time to feel bad for yourself. Miss Sinclair also taught him that he should never cut corners (thus the square hamburgers) because the minute you begin to cheat yourself, you begin to lose quality and performance.
Success is in moments of inspiration. After the death of Dave’s birth mother, and his father’s divorce of his stepmother, Dave and his father began to eat out more. This was when Dave got the idea of someday owning his own restaurants.
Success is in moments of conviction. In his youth, Dave was fired from several jobs, some because he had to lie about his age. Dave’s father was so upset that he told Dave that he would never be able to hold down a job as long as he lived. Dave was so affected by his words that he made a vow to himself that he would never lose another job as long as he lived.
Success is getting experience. After his employer became an early Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise owner in 1956, Mr. Thomas worked closely with Colonel Sanders, instituting now-famous innovations and acquiring his own hugely successful Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise in Columbus, Ohio from stores he ’turned around.’ He later returned to KFC management, in charge of 300 stores.
Success is thinking huge. Dave opened the first Wendy’s Old Fashioned hamburgers restaurant November 15, 1969, in Columbus, Ohio. Then, in 1973, Dave began franchising the Wendy’s concept.
Success is promotion. Dave was a great promoter. One of Wendy’s most successful promotions ever was with the “little old lady” Clara Peller (now an 80s icon). She was the old woman who made famous the line, “Where’s the Beef!?”
Success is thinking of others. Thomas established the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption in 1992, a not-for-profit organization focused on raising public awareness of adoption issues.
Success is for the “average guy.” Dave Thomas was an adopted child who dropped out of high school and had no advantages growing up. Dave proved that success is anyone’s; they just have to want it and take it.
[Sources: http://www.medaloffreedom.com, http://columbusoh.about.com, Thomas R.David. Dave’s Way-A New Approach to Old Fashioned Success. New York: G.P. Putham Sons, 1991.]
Imagine a referral so powerful that with it, you become an instant success in anything you do. Such a referral did exist at one time—it came from the daytime talk show queen Oprah Winfrey. A referral from her on her show meant the author’s book would be an overnight guaranteed best seller (yes, I did send her a copy of my book). Other powerful forms of referrals come from critics, as in art, food, film, and others. However, the most common form of referral is the personal referral, which can be just as powerful but is usually directed to a much smaller audience or even a single individual. It is the personal referral that helps the employee get the job they desire, the salesperson make sales, and the businessperson succeed.
It is understood that prospecting can be one of the most difficult parts of the sales process. Successful sales is about being efficient with your time. The average salesperson wastes much time breaking down the door of resistance to each prospect he or she approaches. A referral is like the key to the door that allows the salesperson to walk right in. A referral is based on the concept of trust by association; if someone you trust trusts a third party, then you will most likely trust that third party as well. Consider the woman who agrees to go on a blind date with her best friend’s cousin, just because her best friend thought it would be a good idea. Or the office supplies salesperson who gets an instant appointment with the very busy president of a large corporation, just because they both share the same good friend who speaks highly of the salesperson. Good referrals will increase your sales success rate significantly.
The referral process can be broken down into three important parts:
The goal in this process is to be as smooth as possible so as to avoid resistance from those whom you ask for the referrals, and from those on whom you use the referrals.
Never be afraid to ask a good customer for a referral or ask a friend to “put in a good word” for you in a social situation. One good referral can potentially lead to an endless supply of prospects, most of whom will give you little to no resistance. This is the secret of the efficient and successful salesperson.
“Refusal to hope is nothing more than a decision to die.” Powerful words from the best-selling author and perhaps foremost expert on understanding the gift of hope, Bernie S. Siegel, M.D. Hope is a gift, and perhaps one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon mankind. But hope, when misunderstood, can also be a curse. It is this false hope that causes more people to fail and lose control of their lives than those who just give up on life. A key element of both success and happiness is understanding the power of hope.
There are a few words in the English language that are often interchanged with the word hope. These words are wish, faith, and pray. However, each word does have significant differences. To hope is to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment. A wish is a desire, longing, or strong inclination for a specific thing, with no specific level of expectation. Faith is a belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence, whereas a prayer is a reverent petition to a god or another object of worship. The confusing of these words with each other usually just results in a minor grammatical faux pas, but when any of these words, especially hope, is confused with action, the results are much more devastating.
Aristotle described hope as a waking dream. Dreams are vital to success and achievement, but dreams without action are just dreams. Hope is no different. Those who spend their lives just hoping may live a positive life, but it would be a life of dreams and not one of achievement. Your hopes are only good to one person—you. All great achievement throughout history is a result of action, not just hope.
So why is hope one of mankind’s greatest gifts? The mental power of hope combined with the physical power of action is one of the greatest forces we humans possess. A lawyer may hope for the best results for her client, at the same time being sure to prepare the best case possible. The Red Sox may hope to win a World Series while doing their best to make sure they are up to the physical and mental challenge. Hope, by itself, also has its place. Hoping for things we have no control over is one of the ways we can alter our own perception of the world to our favor. This hope is the fuel that keeps us going in the darkest of times. It is hope that allows us to visualize a brighter future. “Hope itself is a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which the world affords,” wrote Samuel Johnson.
The pain and suffering of millions of people could be eased if they removed just one word from their vocabulary—hopeless. One of the most influential women in modern American history, Clare Boothe Luce, said it best, “There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them.” While some situations may not be within your control since hope comes from within, there is always hope.
Hope can be both a blessing and a curse. To avoid the curse, don’t rely purely on hope when action can be taken. To enjoy the blessing, use hope along with action to accomplish the seemingly impossible. And when a situation is out of your control, hang on to hope; even though it may be all you have, it may prove to be enough.
There never was, nor ever will be, anyone exactly like you. Physically, your fingerprints, voice, eyes, teeth, and DNA can distinguish you from any other person living or dead. Mentally, your thoughts, dreams, and experiences are yours and only yours. So why does the world consist of so many “average” people? Why do so many people fight their desires for greatness and work so hard at “blending in with the crowd”? Why don’t more people dare to be different?
Collectively, societies create and define what are called “norms.” These societal norms tend to serve as standards to which most people adhere. Average people are only average because they choose to look, speak, and act like others who fit in this norm. Norms, for the most part, are a necessary part of any society and can help individuals avoid negative attention. Adhering to norms also, however, causes individuals to miss out on positive attention that comes as a result of actions and behaviors that are not part of the norm.
What are considered normal behaviors and actions are often based on our desire for instant gratification. As we already know, acting on this desire is one of the greatest obstacles on the road to success. Our psychological need for belonging is constantly directing us to the norm. In order to satisfy our higher need of self-actualization (where we find success), we must place a lesser importance on the need for belonging. Realize that by being different, you are not alone. Everyone is different, and everyone is unique in his or her own way; however, very few people have the courage to express themselves.
It has been said that the difference between insanity and genius is success. In actuality, the difference between apparent insanity and genius is success. Walter P. Chrysler was a nut who bought a new car and immediately took it apart and put it back together several times until the world discovered that his eccentric behavior led to his fortune. Wilbur and Orville Wright were two nuts who were trying to fly like birds—until they actually succeeded, now they are historical heroes. Chrysler, the Wright brothers, and thousands of others who achieved great success had the courage to deviate from the norm and be different.
Being different does not necessarily have to mean being an outcast of society. In high school, I had a chemistry teacher who used to celebrate students’ birthdays by writing their names with a highly flammable liquid on the classroom floor, shutting off the lights, setting liquid on fire, and leading the class in “Happy Birthday.” Although this one act had very little to do with chemistry, it created a bond between the teacher and the students. To this day, I remember more from that tenth-grade class, than any other class, and I won’t forget Mr. Norris.
Although all people are unique, most people tend to behave similarly in order to “fit in.” If your need for belonging is strong, then fit in with people such as Chrysler and the Wright brothers, not with the unhappy, work-despising, 20 pounds overweight, $20K-in-debt individual whose only joy in life comes from a bottle and the rare two-week vacation. Have the courage to do what others will not do. Stand out and get noticed. Dare to be different.
I remember playing video games that let the players choose their character. Each available character has strengths and weaknesses, yet all the characters are equal overall. For example, in one game, I would choose the bear at times, who’s very strong but tends to be very slow. Other times, I would choose a character named “Lee” who was very fast, but not that strong. In real life, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, but unlike these video games, by no means are we all equal. In real life, we have the ability to maximize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. All it takes is conscious effort and awareness.
For the purpose of this lesson, assume that your actions, behaviors, and thoughts make you who you are today since you have a certain degree of control over these. Also, understand that I use the word “perfect” loosely, knowing that perfection is, for the most part, unattainable. Building the perfect you is about consciously adopting empowering qualities and abandoning the negative qualities you have subconsciously adopted over the years. These qualities come in the form of
Who are you? Think about those people in your past and present who have been an influence to you: family, friends, teachers, spiritual leaders, actors, and even world leaders. Can’t you see some of their qualities in yourself? Parents are so concerned with their children being negatively influenced by their peers, yet as adults do not realize that they are influenced in the same way. Being influenced by others is not something one “grows out of.” Once you are consciously aware of this influencing process, you can begin by “rebuilding” yourself by changing your actions, behaviors, and thoughts. Then, start adopting the positive qualities from those you admire most.
We are all, to some degree, a product of our environment. Subconsciously we have become like those who have been an influence to us in our lives. We do not have to accept this as who we are—we can choose to change who we have become and start becoming the person we really want to be. Do not let habit and adversity to personal change get in the way of your success. Take the time and make the effort to build the perfect you.
Bruce Jenner (1949–) earned the title of “World’s Greatest Athlete” by winning the gold medal in the decathlon at the 1976 Olympic Games in Montreal.
Note: This was written before “Bruce” became “Caitlyn.” Using the pronouns “he” and “him” as well as the name “Bruce” was appropriate at the time of this writing and no disrespect was meant.
Success is overcoming adversity. Jenner grew up terrified of reading due to dyslexia, but he says his struggles with the reading disorder helped him learn to overcome adversity. “I firmly believe that deep in their soul everyone has a champion that can overcome obstacles and do great things.”
Success is hard work. “You have to work hard at things to be good,” Jenner says. When preparing for the Olympics, he trained six to eight hours every day for four years.
Success is loving and pursuing what you are good at. Jenner does appear to have the aptitude for athletic ability. Jenner writes in his book, “By the time I turned two, I’d already developed a big chest, wide shoulders and boundless energy, prompting my dad to nickname me ’Bruiser’.”
Success is in the attitude. “I always felt that my greatest asset was not my physical ability, it was my mental ability.”
Success is moving forward. Unlike many who go downhill after their 15 minutes of fame, Jenner’s success in life continues to this day. Besides an Olympic gold medalist, Jenner is known to millions as a motivational speaker, TV personality, sports commentator, commercial spokesperson, entrepreneur, actor, producer, and a terrific father of ten children.
Success is being a positive role model for others. Jenner leads by example. He wants his kids to take their health seriously, so he eats healthy meals.
Success is not in what you do, but how you do it. Jenner teaches his kids how to meet goals and free their harshest critic and best cheerleader: the champion within. “I don’t care what arena kids choose to play in–sports, music, school, figure skating–I encourage my kids to find something in life to get excited about when they wake up in the morning.”
Success is remaining humble. When asked how he would like to be remembered, Jenner states he would like to be remembered as a good parent.
Success is found in good advice. “Start early and begin raising the bar throughout the day.”
[Sources: http://brucejenner.com, http://iparenting.com, http://abilitymagazine.com]
Since the day we were born and all throughout our youth, the chances are we have been overly praised for our accomplishments. When we uttered our first word, we were given a big hug and a “hurrraaayy!.” When we made our first drawing of a house, which looked more like a house after a tornado had struck it, the drawing was hung on the refrigerator for all to see and admire. Then one day, we are taught that when we bring our accomplishments to the attention of others, it is called “bragging,” and what used to get praise now gets scorn. For many people, without the praise, the desire for achievement is lost, and others feel that boasting and bragging are necessary for all great achievements. This confusion about humility and modesty continues throughout our adult lives. Fortunately, there are some general guidelines that can keep you modest while making your achievements well known.
There is no question that humility and modesty are admirable qualities. However, these very admirable qualities also can be stumbling blocks on the road to success. There are so many talented people whose talents, achievements, and potential contributions to this world go undiscovered due to their desire to remain modest. Through the proper use of self-promotion and understanding of modesty, one can remain both humble and modest while being recognized for their achievements and talents that lead to success.
To brag or to boast is to glorify oneself in speech or talk in a self-admiring way. Self-promotion is to make one’s own accomplishments, talents, and potential contributions known to others. The difference is not in what you say, but how, why, and to whom you say it.
HOW: Consider the following statement: “I was just promoted to the new VP of Marketing, which comes with a 20% pay increase and a company car.” Imagine a really snotty person saying this statement while bragging. The accent would be on the word “I,” the chin would be up in the air with the eyelids half closed, and there would be a little nod at the end of the statement as if to say, “good for me and bad for you.” Now imagine a humble person saying the same words, but with excitement and the accent on “the new VP.” Modesty is not always what we say, but how we say it.
WHY and TO WHOM: What is the purpose of making the statement? To whom is it being said? The “why” can be sharing, self-promotion, or bragging, depending on to whom it is being said (I said these were general guidelines, I did not say they were simple).
Here are two “laws” relating to self-promotion that you can use to your advantage in your pursuit of success.
There is no doubt that the line between modesty and good self-promotion is a fine one. It is important to be proud of your accomplishments and promote yourself but at the same time remain humble and earn, not seek, the respect of others. It is not necessarily what you say, but how, why, and to whom you say it that makes the difference. Master this concept, and you will have taken a significant step in your journey of success.
There are six words in the English language that anyone interested in effective marketing and communication should know how to use. These words are what, who, where, when, why, and how. In both business and personal situations, answering these single word questions can add clarity, brevity and most important, effectiveness to your written and verbal communications.
Ahhh. You have just read this concept in action. What: six words (what, who, where, when, why, and how). Who: anyone interested in effective marketing and communication. Where/When: In both business and personal situations. Why: can add clarity, brevity and most important, effectiveness to your written and verbal communications. How: answering these single word questions. In the opening paragraph, I gave you “the bottom line”—the very basis of the lesson. Now in the rest of the lesson, I will expand on the concept. Hopefully, the opening paragraph has stimulated your interest enough to read the entire lesson.
This technique can be used in more than just articles or blog posts; it can be used in speeches, presentations, advertisements (print, radio, TV), websites, briefs, and even in conversation. The fact is, most people have a relatively short attention span, and it is up to you, the speaker, writer, or marketer, to communicate your idea before your audience loses interest. Remember, just because what you have to communicate is interesting to you, does not necessarily mean that it is interesting to your audience.
This “six-words” technique can be adapted in many ways. For example, for most topics, you can answer more than one “how” question. “How can using this technique help me to succeed?” “How can I use this technique in my personal communication?” For some topics, there may not be an answer to one or more of the six questions, or at least not an answer worth giving. At times, you may choose not to answer all of the one-word questions but leave the audience “hanging” in order to entice the audience to take action.
We have all listened to people who ramble on and on in casual conversation, who we wish would practice this technique. Perhaps we were even one of those people at one time. This technique is great in personal conversation when finding topics of mutual interest. For example, not too long ago when I was getting my haircut, the woman cutting my hair assumed that I was interested in football and starting talking for over 10 minutes about the New England Patriots. After persisting to ask me questions on the subject about which I knew almost nothing, she caught on to the fact that I was clueless about the subject. She could have summed up her 10 minute story in a 15 second headline and saved both of us 9 3/4 minutes. If I were interested, I would have asked for more information or continued talking about the topic. She still did a good job on my hair, so her communication faux pas did not affect her tip.
Use this technique both in business and personal situations for more effective communication. It is not enough just to state your point; you must communicate your point. Keep your audience interested and get your message across to more people in less time.
I have a great idea for a reality TV show. We begin with ten people who are successful in their fields, but not famous or even well known. Dress them up in clothing a homeless person would wear, give them a new identity and a history of nothing more than a grade school formal education and a series of odd jobs, then drop each one of our “participants” off in a major US city. The goal is to a) stay in the game and not quit and b) to acquire as much wealth as possible by the end of the season (about three months). The rules are that the participants cannot reveal their true identities, and they cannot accept help from anyone they know in their real lives. What an awesome show that would be. We would witness the human spirit in action as well as characteristics and qualities of truly successful individuals. How would you do as a participant on that show?
There are so many people who appear to be successful and happy, who are financially well off, yet live in a constant state of fear. This is the fear of financial loss, which is almost universal to all those who are new to wealth. What if I lose my job? What if the market crashes? What if my business fails? All of these “what ifs” conjure up unpleasant thoughts for just about everybody, but those who believe in themselves, in their abilities, talents, and determination, do not fear these potential unfortunate events. A common characteristic of successful people is their knowing that if they lost everything financially, in time they would get it all back and more.
Unless you are a lottery winner or an heir/heiress to a fortune, you have earned what you now have. You must believe that your success is not due to random luck but is a result of the circumstances that you have created, or at least influenced in the past. Those who fall down and don’t get back up are the ones who lack the self-confidence and belief that they are the reason for their success, and if needed, can do it all again.
Christopher Reeve, known best for his role of Superman, was left paralyzed when he fell from his horse. He knew that although his body was broken, his mind still worked great. Until the time of his death, he raised millions of dollars for stem cell research.
Fortunately, very few of us will ever be put to the test of such drastic misfortune. Your belief in yourself is like a no-cost insurance policy that will keep you from fear of financial loss and allow you to enjoy what you have earned. Your talent, abilities, determination, and your other characteristics have gotten you where you are today. Believe in yourself and enjoy success.
Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness, but very few people realize this potential. Their natural gifts and hidden talents remain hidden and unused. A good leader is one who can tell another how to reach his or her potential; a great leader is one who can help another discover this potential for him or herself.
I believe every human being has gifts. Some call these gifts talent, ability, aptitude, or “good genes.” No matter what they are called, or how we got them, it is universally recognized that we have them. Untapped potential is the difference between where a person is now and where he or she can be. Just about everybody lives with some sort of “gap” between where they are and where they can be. To be a great leader and get the maximum performance out of your people, you need to lessen this gap by helping them discover their own gifts.
There are many “side effects” to helping others discover their own gifts besides being a great leader. Parents and teachers are well aware of the warm feeling that comes with knowing that they, in some way, were responsible for improving the life of another. Some people report a sense of fulfillment of an obligation that exists as a result of someone helping them in the same way at some time. When you help another discover his or her own gifts, this process reinforces your own success and builds your self-confidence.
There is a difference between telling someone how to reach his or her potential (the classic parent/teenager discussion) and helping that person to discover it for him or herself. Here are some suggestions on how you can help others discover their own gifts.
Whether an employee, a best friend, or a complete stranger, if the opportunity is there to improve a life by helping another person discover their talents or abilities, then act on it—even if there is no apparent direct benefit to you. Practice this to become a better leader by making the world a better place one person at a time.
Jeffrey P. Bezos (1964–) is the founder and CEO of Amazon.com, the Internet’s largest e-commerce site with annual sales over $89 billion (2014).
Success is following your passion. In high school, Jeffrey fell in love with computers. He entered Princeton University planning to study physics, but soon returned to his love of computers and graduated with a degree in computer science and electrical engineering.
Success is knowing that a good education opens doors. As a 1986 summa cum laude, Phi Beta Kappa, Princeton graduate, Bezos joined FITEL, a high-tech start-up company in New York. Two years later, Bezos began working for Bankers Trust Company in New York, where he led the development of computer systems and became the company’s youngest vice president in 1990.
Success is having vision and seeing opportunity. In 1994, when “e-commerce” was still unheard of, Bezos observed that Internet usage was increasing by 2300 percent a year. He saw an opportunity for a new sphere of commerce and immediately began considering the possibilities.
Success is asking the right questions. In a methodical fashion, Bezos reviewed the top twenty mail order businesses and asked himself which could be conducted more efficiently over the Internet than by traditional means. Books were the obvious solution.
Success is gathering the info needed to succeed. Bezos attended the American Booksellers’ Convention to learn everything he could about the book business.
Success is taking a leap of faith. At the time Bezos had the idea for Amazon, his employers were not ready to back the idea. Jeff knew that the only way to get the business going would be to leave the security of his current job and go off on his own.
Success is adding value to a name. It is not the name that makes the business; it is the business that makes the name. Prior to 1994, “Amazon” was just another noun. Today, it represents a new industry where billions of dollars of goods are being sold each year.
Success is continual improvement. Bezos and his team continued improving the Amazon.com website, introducing such unheard-of features as one-click shopping, customer reviews, and e-mail order verification.
Success is not being afraid of the “big boys.” In 1997 when Amazon.com went public, many skeptics wondered if the company could compete with already established book giants such as Barnes & Noble and Borders once they established an Internet presence. Just two years later, the market value of shares in Amazon was greater than that of its two biggest retail competitors combined, and Borders was striking a deal for Amazon to handle its Internet traffic.
[Sources: http://www.achievement.org, http://www.time.com, http://www.askmen.com]
Words of wisdom are pieces of advice passed on over the years, which influenced countless people around the world by shaping and defining their lives. Some of these words come from authors, poets, politicians, historical figures, and religious writings, whereas some seem to be as old as time itself and their origins remain unknown. I have read and contemplated over 10,000 of these sayings, proverbs, aphorisms, and quotes over the years and have compiled a list of just over 300 that I believe bring people closer to success. Over the next three lessons, I will share these with you. Don’t just read each one, contemplate its meaning and consider these words of wisdom: One line of wisdom can change your life more than volumes of books.
Action
Adversity
Anger
Arguing
Assistance
Attitude
Belief
Benevolence
Change
Character
Almost every wise saying has an opposite. For example, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” and its opposite “the nail that sticks up gets nailed down.” Both sayings sound good and are persuasive in communication; that is why some of these sayings have survived since the beginning of recorded history. It is up to you to decide if the words you read or hear make sense to you. Never accept an idea just because it sounds good.
Choices / Decision
Commitment
Courage
Communication
Competition
Death
Destiny
Excellence
Excuses
Experience
Failure
Fairness
Giving
Genius
Goals
Happiness
Health
Hope
Humor
Individuality
Management
Meaning of Life
Miscellaneous
The wisdom is not in the words; it is in the interpretation and the meaning behind the words. With so few words used to create such powerful statements and ideas, it is understandable why there are so many interpretations of each. As a general rule, the fewer the words, the more interpretations there are. In some cases, quotes, sayings, proverbs, and other words of wisdom have a completely different meaning when taken out of context. It is the beliefs you adopt and the actions you take as a result of the words that are most important.
Open-Mindedness
Opportunity
Passion
Patience
Perception
Persistence and Determination
Personal Growth
Problem Solving
Preparation and Prevention
Procrastination
Progress
Recovery
Regret
Rejection
Relationships
Relaxation
Responsibility
Risk
Sales
Skepticism
Security
Self-Control
Self-Discovery
Self-Esteem
Success
Teamwork
Time Mastery
Trust
Wealth
Wisdom
Worry
As a father of two children, every day I deal with “feedback.” When my daughter says she wants to eat less dinner so she can have more room for dessert, or when my son wants to do nothing but watch movies all day long, I basically tell them what is best for them—and that is that. This technique is fine for small children but does not work too well with customers. Unfortunately, many business leaders today treat their customers just like pre-teen children who have no idea what is best for them. Listening to your customers, and more important, acting on the feedback they give is one of the best ways to transform a struggling business into a successful one.
Not being in tune with your customers is like living in an alternate reality; the way you think your customers feel about your product is not always the same as what your customers really think about your product. Too many business people would rather live in ignorant bliss than accept the reality of their product or business. The fact is, even if reality may be harsh, in most cases it is manageable.
The reasons for accepting customer feedback are quite obvious to some, but not so obvious to others. Your customers are ultimately the ones responsible for your paycheck. By listening to your customers needs and desires, you can tailor your product and service to meet their demands better. This will ultimately lead to greater success.
Below are just a few of the more common forms of accepting feedback. Depending on your business and your customer base, some will work better than others.
Here are the three basic rules for customer feedback:
Simply making it easy for customers to give feedback can do wonders for the overall attitude of your customer base. Actively seeking feedback, as in offering some form of compensation for the feedback, shows your customers that their feedback is important to you. Acting on the feedback and implementing reasonable changes based on customer feedback is a sure way to win over your customers and increase the success of your business.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., (1929–1968) was named Man of the Year by Time magazine in 1963, and became not only the symbolic leader of American Blacks but also a world figure.
Success is having a good foundation upon which to build. Martin Luther attended segregated public schools in Georgia, graduating from high school at the age of fifteen. He received a B. A. degree in 1948 from Morehouse College. After three years of theological study at Crozer Theological Seminary in Pennsylvania where he was elected president of a predominantly White senior class, he was awarded a B.D. in 1951. He then enrolled in graduate studies at Boston University, completing his residence for the doctorate in 1953 and receiving the degree in 1955.
Success is making a difference. As a member of the executive committee of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, in 1955 Dr. King accepted the leadership of the first great African American nonviolent demonstration of contemporary times in the United States, the bus boycott that lasted 382 days. On December 21, 1956, after the Supreme Court of the United States had declared unconstitutional the laws requiring segregation on buses, Blacks and Whites rode the buses as equals.
Success is standing up for what you believe in, no matter what the consequences. King was arrested many times, his home was bombed, he was subjected to personal abuse, but at the same time he emerged as an African American leader of the first rank.
Success is knowing and using the power of words. “I refuse to accept the cynical notion that nation after nation must spiral down a militaristic stairway into the hell of a thermonuclear destruction. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.”
Success is extreme dedication and firm commitment. In the eleven-year period between 1957 and 1968, Dr. King traveled over six million miles and spoke over twenty-five hundred times, appearing wherever there was injustice, protest, and action; and meanwhile he wrote five books as well as numerous articles.
Success is knowing the power of peace and love. “Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather than to convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love.”
Success is sharing. At the age of thirty-five, Martin Luther King, Jr., was the youngest man to have received the Nobel Peace Prize. When notified of his selection, he announced that he would turn over the prize money of $54,123 to the furtherance of the civil rights movement.
Success is being your best. “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”
Success is inspiring others. Dr. King’s charismatic leadership continues to inspire men and women, young and old, in this nation and around the world.
Success is having a dream. “I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day down in Alabama with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with the little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today.”
[Sources: http://www.nobel.se, http://thekingcenter.com/]
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with one or more people sharing stories? Have you ever noticed the “one upper” in the group who appears to always feel the need to tell a story that is more dramatic than the one just told, or make a statement that immediately takes the positive attention off another? Are you, or have you ever been, the “one-upper”?
When you finish telling a story or explaining a situation you were in, and the person you are talking to responds with “Oh yeah, well listen to this...!” Basically, what they are telling you is that your story means nothing to them because they have a better one. When someone tells you something of significance to them, all they want is a sympathetic ear and to know that they have been heard. Even if you have a more dramatic story, use tact.
Here are some examples of a person named Pat being “one-upped” in both personal and business situations. Imagine yourself being Pat. How would you feel?
Pat: Hey guys, I just found out that the boss chose my team to lead that big project!
One-upper: Yeah? Well, my team just won an award for the best ad campaign!
Pat: The other day I bought these shoes on sale for just $30!
One-upper: I bought the same pair two weeks ago on-line for $20.
Pat: When I was a kid, I fell 20 feet from a tree and broke my leg in two places.
One-upper: I fell out of a tree as well but broke both legs and an arm!
Here are a couple of quick suggestions regarding “one-upping”:
The key is to be a good listener while having consideration for the other person’s feelings. Don’t be like a twelve-year-old at camp who begins every sentence with “Oh yeah? Well, wait until you hear this...” Use tact in your personal and business communications and try not to “one-up” anyone.
Imagine that you work for XYZ Corporation, a large company that manufactures widgets. The company sends you and a few of your coworkers to an international widget convention where there will be thousands of your suppliers and potential customers. Once there, your colleagues are busy meeting others while you quietly keep to yourself because you do not see yourself as a “people person.” When the conference is over, your boss asks you for a list of the contacts you have made. You then realize that your lack of social skills may have just cost you your job.
I am generally a quiet person who keeps to myself. I appreciate solitude more than a social event full of small talk. At times, such as when I go to the gym, I purposely avoid eye contact with other members because I am there to workout, then leave, not to socialize. But I do understand that, at times, my future success and happiness depends on my ability to meet others. For example, the majority of people in the higher paid and status positions are those who have excellent social skills. When seeking a life-long companion, your selection increases significantly if you have the ability to meet other people, rather than making an eternal commitment to the first acceptable person who comes along. If you too are the quiet type, it just takes a little practice and a slight attitude adjustment to master this skill and turn it on when needed.
Let’s begin with attitude.
Now that we have the right attitude, or frame of mind for meeting people, we are ready to take action. Here is a five-step process that works wonders.
At this stage, you have established yourself as a friendly, confident person. If this is another person that you see on a regular basis, such as a person in your school, gym, or work, you may want to just stop here until a better time to start a conversation. However, if you feel the chances are slim that you will ever see that person again, then proceed with the following steps.
Congratulations! You have successfully begun mastering the art of meeting people. From here it takes practice. This process helps you initiate a conversation; then you can use what you already know about communication, specifically allowing others to talk about themselves or better yet, finding common interests to keep the conversation going strong. The more people you can successfully interact with, the better your chances of success.
Imagine that you have a great idea. You anxiously set up a meeting with a person who can help you to implement this idea. While setting up the meeting, you briefly explain the basis of the idea and while this person seems interested, you are asked to submit a formal proposal at the meeting, as well as deliver a brief presentation. Now you start to sweat. A formal what?
A proposal, although very formal sounding, is nothing more than prepared persuasion. Throughout this course, we have covered many persuasive techniques that can be used to help others see your point of view. In a proposal, we can use one or many of these techniques to convince another person or group of people to take action. A well-written proposal can be even more persuasive than an extemporaneous, persuasive conversation—it solidifies and organizes ideas and thoughts into a document or presentation that can leave a powerful impression on those to whom it is delivered.
Entrepreneurs and small businesses have the luxury of acting quickly on ideas alone. To some, this is a key to the “entrepreneurial spirit” and the major part of success. To others, this kind of “hasty” action can lead to the demise of a venture or business. Many people rely on proposals to help them make more informed decisions. Some people use proposals to help justify their decisions with others. And some people may just not be convinced enough by an idea alone—“Sounds good, but I will need to see something in writing.” Whatever the reason may be, writing and/or delivering an effective proposal can play a large part in your success.
Here is a guideline for an effective proposal that can be used for both written and oral proposals. The length of your proposal should be dictated by the person requesting the proposal, the complexity of the objective, and/or your personal judgment. A proposal should be long enough to contain the information needed to convince the audience to take action, yet not too long as to cause the audience to lose interest.
The introduction. The introduction should be short and sweet. It should include the overall objective of the proposal (summarized in one or two sentences) summarized course of action, and benefit. For example, if this lesson were a proposal my intro may be
A well-written proposal can play an important part in your success. By following a proven format for writing a proposal and using one or more persuasion techniques, you will have significantly greater success in getting others to accept your ideas.
You may want to write the introduction last since most of the information in the introduction comes from the body.
There is no one way to write a formal proposal so do not fear “doing it wrong.” Remember that the goal is to persuade. Having the opportunity to write and/or deliver a proposal is a great thing that can certainly help others to embrace your ideas. A well-written proposal, or formalized persuasion, is a powerful tool that can be used to help you succeed.
At some point, in every salesperson’s career (remember that we are all salespeople in one way or another), a “roadblock” is hit. This is when a product is just not selling or at least not selling as well is it can be. At this point, many salespeople give in and start to blame elements that they cannot change—as in the price or the product. When businesses hit this roadblock, they start blaming elements that they cannot change—as in the “market” or economy. In reality, there is usually one or more elements that the salesperson or business can change that can knock down the sales roadblock. The key is to ask the right questions.
One of the most common business mistakes that can quickly lead to a business’ demise is making the assumption that the problem is with the price. Believe it or not, lowering the price is taking the “easy road” and often just leads to a business model that does not work. It is reasonable to assume that by lowering the price of a product, more will sell. While this may be true, it does not mean that revenues or profits will increase and certainly does not guarantee more sales. Before you make a hasty decision to lower prices, take some time to ask yourself these questions: Where is the problem? Is it with the market, the attitude of those selling the product, the product itself, or the price? The goal is to address the real problem.
The Market. Begin by looking at the market. Is there a need for your product? The product would not have been developed if someone did not believe there was a need at one time. Is there still a need? Did circumstances change? Do you have enough exposure to this market? You can have the best product for the best price, but unless people know about it, it will not sell. Is the product effectively being marketed to the target audience? Does the packaging of the product deliver a powerful enough message to get the prospect to take action?
Attitude. What is the attitude of those selling your product, or if you are selling a product, what is your attitude? Do you believe in the product that you are selling? Do you feel the price is well worth product? To be successful at selling, believing in the product is essential.
The Product. Does the product live up to its promises? Does the marketing material deceive the public into buying a product that is really inferior or is the product as good or better than the marketing suggests? Can the product be improved to be more marketable?
The Price. Finally, after all of the above concepts have been considered, look at the price. Is the price just too high for what the market is willing to pay? If your product is more of a commodity, it is easy to base your price on comparable products. Unique products can be more difficult to establish a price. Keep in mind that it is usually easier to lower a price after a product’s release than to raise the price. Make sure that any price decreases you make can be part of a profitable business model.
The time will come when you too hit a sales roadblock. It is important not to make blind assumptions and do not jump to conclusions. Analyze the market, your attitude, the product, and then the price. Address the real problem, and you can save yourself time, energy, and money as well as overcome any sales roadblock that may get in your way.
Fred DeLuca (1948–2015) was the founder of Subway sandwich shops; the most successful franchise ever. At the end of 2010, Subway became the largest fast food chain worldwide, with 33,749 restaurants–1,012 more than McDonald’s.
Success is often a side effect of a “problem.” In the summer of 1965, the ambitious 17-year-old Fred Deluca wanted desperately to attend college but did not have enough money. Opening a sandwich shop was the solution.
Success is seeking help from others when needed. Fred sought assistance from a long-time family friend, Dr. Peter Buck, who offered him the idea of starting a sandwich shop, and the financial backing ($1000) to do it.
Success is “learning how to fish.” While Dr. Buck could have easily loaned Fred the money for school, he loaned Fred a much smaller amount that would be used to help Fred create his own source of income to pay for his own school.
Success is setting goals and striving to reach them. Over the years, both Dr. Buck and Fred worked very hard at making their sandwich shops (Subway) succeed. They had a goal of opening 32 submarine sandwich shops within ten years. By 1974, eight years after their first store, they owned and operated 16 units throughout the state of Connecticut. Although it seemed unlikely that they would double that number in two years, DeLuca focused on reaching his goal.
Success is making deals when needed that others can’t refuse. DeLuca figured that the fastest way to expand the business was to go out and find a franchisee. He approached his friend Brian Dixon with the opportunity and even offered to loan Brian the money to buy their restaurant in Wallingford, Conn. DeLuca even said that if Brian didn’t like the business, he could return the store to them and owe them nothing. Dixon refused at first but eventually moved forward becoming the first Subway franchisee.
Success is being flexible. “It’s not necessary to be so structured in this world. With all the people who work here (Subway), whether you are real structured or not, it is not going to affect how much work they do. People have inside of them a certain work ethic, and, if you appeal to them nicely, they’ll respond and give all they can give.”
Success is in the business system, not necessarily the product. Subway developed a business system such that the cost of starting a franchise up is relatively small compared to other franchises and business in general. Through economies of scale, the system is able to provide tremendous cost savings passed on to franchisees. The cost of the franchise was relatively low per average store. The equipment, financing, supplies, training, and more, is supported by the franchiser to give the franchisee the best opportunity for success.
Success is often learning along the way. “We didn’t really know the franchising business, and it’s [a very] different business from the store operations business,” Fred Deluca says. “Just because we knew how to run stores didn’t mean we knew how to run a franchising company—at that point, we were in the beginning stages of learning how to be a franchiser.”
[Sources: http://www.subway.com, http://www.qsrmagazine.com, http://www.ltbn.com, http://www.entrepreneur.com]
As a youngster, I must admit that my taking-out-garbage initiative left a lot to be desired. No matter how full the garbage was, I would force whatever I had to dispose of in the trash container and make it fit. I had a similar policy for pretending I did not see the dog poop on the carpet. Ultimately, I had to take out the garbage and clean up the poop anyway, but I had to be told (or yelled at) to do it. In retrospect, I should have accepted my fate as the household garbageman/poop picker-upper and taken the initiative to take out the garbage when full and pick up the dog poop when present. But why deprive my parents of the joys of parenthood?
Initiative, a characteristic that is present in virtually every successful individual, is defined as the power or ability to begin or to follow through energetically with a plan or task: enterprise and determination. The prefix “init” means to begin. While initiative does not necessarily mean having to follow through, those with initiative either do follow through themselves or see to it that the task is properly delegated. Perhaps the most important part of this definition is the word “energetically.” Taking the initiative is not about mumbling “Yeah... I guess I’ll do it”; it is about accepting the plan or task with commitment.
Initiative (or personal initiative) is the characteristic that people possess that allows things to get done. Leaders must have initiative. Without it, leaders are simply workers in leadership positions. Those who demonstrate initiative also demonstrate a leadership quality—perhaps the greatest leadership quality that gets one noticed.
Personal initiative is not something you should want to possess just to get noticed, however. Personal initiative is the driving force that allows you to get things done in your own life. It is the characteristic that distinguishes a “someday I’ll” person from a “been there, done that” person. People with personal initiative get things done.
Now that you can see how taking initiative can benefit you both personally and professionally, here are some suggestions for how you can take the initiative more often.
People with initiative get things done in both their personal and professional lives. Organizations that have leaders with initiative are organizations that are committed to progress. Achievements begin with action and action is a result of initiative. Commit to being the person who takes the initiative and become a better leader and a more productive person.
Computer programming is a passion of mine. I think what I enjoy most about it is the logical thought processes needed to make a program function correctly. It is like a series of advanced puzzles and mind games. A good program will be written to handle any situation that it may encounter using a series of “if-then-else” statements. For example, if a user chooses option B, then display all features for option B, otherwise, display options for A. In order to create a good program, the programmer must think ahead and prepare for as many situations as possible. In order to create a good plan of action in our real lives, we must also think at least one step ahead and prepare for as many situations as possible.
Thinking ahead is a thought process that uses if-then-else statements to predetermine courses of action based on different outcomes. It is also the process of thinking things through and getting the most out of each potential outcome whether it be good or bad. This technique can be used for a specific task, as in planning a marketing campaign or used to plan out your entire life.
Despite our confidence and persistence, there are things that we cannot control. We cannot control the economy, the markets, unforeseen disasters, and we cannot predict the outcomes of all events, but we can anticipate them. If we can anticipate an outcome, we can also prepare for the outcome and minimize its negatives and maximize its benefits. By preparing for all possible outcomes with a series of plans, we can increase our own confidence and the confidence level in those whom we lead.
Many people have the “play it by ear” attitude. This can be a great laid-back attitude to have, and not bad for a relaxing vacation, but not the best attitude to have when a successful outcome is important. Very often, thinking just one step ahead can make the difference between failure and success.
Thinking one step ahead begins with listing all of the possible outcomes for your current decision or current course of action. For each possible outcome, you will then want to create a course of action that can bring you as close to success as possible. Depending on the likelihood of the outcome, your plan of action can range from general to extremely detailed. By thinking one step ahead, you won’t be caught with your guard down. Here are some examples of thinking one step ahead:
Remember, the key is not in making the statement itself, but having courses of actions carefully planned for any outcome (or any likely outcome) that can occur. If you make it a habit to do this, you will be able to handle surprises and unexpected outcomes much more gracefully and with much more efficiency. Think one step ahead, and you won’t be left behind.
When I am asked what my favorite hobby is, I answer, “Helping others to succeed.” I do not say this because I want people to think of me as an overly nice guy, but for me, helping others to succeed is a source of total pleasure and enjoyment. This is certainly not a unique quality; it seems to be in our nature to want to help others. We all may not possess the wisdom needed to help others succeed, but just about everyone possesses enough wisdom in some area to help someone with something. By being a mentor, we can help others while we help ourselves.
A mentor can loosely be defined as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. However, a mentor/mentee (or mentor/protégé) relationship is often more personal and less rigid than that of a teacher/student relationship. Where teachers are mostly looked upon for information, and counselor’s guidance, mentors provide advice, encouragement, and inspiration. It is important to note that teachers, counselors, friends, and even lawyers can also be mentors.
While money is considered a valuable asset, an even more valuable asset that you can share is your wisdom in a particular area, which is made up of your knowledge and experience. When you mentor someone, besides the personal fulfillment and enjoyment of helping another, you benefit by learning even more yourself. Learning is a lifelong process that happens to be a very beneficial side effect of mentoring. Mentoring is also a form a leadership that gives you practical leadership experience. Leading just one person to start can turn into leading an entire organization or even a nation.
Anyone can be a mentor, but not everyone can be a good mentor in every situation. Being a good mentor requires the right set of circumstances and qualities. Below are some of these circumstances and qualities. Remember not to sell yourself short. Although you may not think you will make an ideal mentor, the chances are you will make a fine mentor.
Being a mentor can be a very rewarding experience in several ways. Think about areas in which you would make a good mentor. Think about people or groups of people that you can mentor and actively seek out mentoring opportunities. While your favorite hobby may not be mentoring, the chances are that you will find another source of enjoyment in mentoring.
Walt Disney was a man of vision. From the time he created his world-famous cartoon mouse, to the present day, many years after his death, his vision continues to turn into reality. In 1965, Disney took a leap of faith by purchasing 43 square miles of land in central Florida where he would eventually build his empire. Although he did not have all the resources needed to turn his vision into reality, nor did he have exact details on how he was going to do it, he did have the vision, which proved to be enough.
Vision, the kind used to succeed, is “seeing” with imagination and taking action to make the vision reality. It is seeing what others lack the imagination and creativity to see. Vision is more than just imagination; it is imagination with belief. When someone is said to have vision, they are seen as having an intelligent foresight.
When one has vision, they can “see” a goal or objective and its attainment. This experience serves as a mental blueprint to success. Leaders with vision not only have more confidence in themselves and the direction they set for those whom they lead, they also have more loyal followers who have been sold on the vision as well. Many successful people rank having vision as one of the key elements to their success.
So isn’t vision something you either have or don’t? I believe that everyone has vision, and like virtually every other aspect of success, vision is something that can be developed with practice. Here are some suggestions on how to use your imagination and power of belief to develop your vision.
After more than seven years of master planning and preparation, Walt Disney World opened to the public as scheduled on October 1, 1971. Although Disney never lived long enough to see his vision become a reality—he did not need to. To him, Walt Disney World was already a reality.
Alexander Graham Bell (1847–1922) was the inventor of the telephone.
Success is following your heart. Throughout his life, Bell had been interested in the education of deaf people. Pursuing this interest ultimately led him to the invention of the telephone.
Success is having vision. Shortly after the telephone’s invention, Bell had written to his father, “The day is coming when telegraph wires will be laid on to houses just like water or gas—and friends will converse with each other without leaving home.”
Success is being a keen observer. Bell was a gifted pianist, who as a teenager, noticed that a chord struck on one piano would be echoed by a piano in another room. He realized that whole chords could be transmitted through the air, vibrating at the other end at exactly the same pitch. In the years to come, this simple observation would eventually lead him to the creation of the telephone.
Success is asking the right questions. Bell hoped to convey several messages simultaneously, each at a different pitch. However, he could not see a way to make-and-break the current at the precise pitch required. He would eventually find the answer to his question, “How could pitch be conveyed along a wire?”
Success is being inspired. While visiting London, Bell and his father were fascinated by a demonstration of Sir Charles Wheatstone’s “speaking machine.” Upon their return to Edinburgh, Melville Bell, Sr. (Alexander’s father) challenged Alexander and his older brother to come up with a model of their own.
Success is overcoming adversity. Alexander Graham Bell had his share of personal tragedies. In the late 19th century, when Tuberculosis was at its peak, the disease claimed the lives of both of his brothers within the span of four months. Bell himself was battling the disease when, at age 23, he moved with his parents to Canada, where they would seek out a more “healthy” environment. Alexander eventually did recover from the disease.
Success is generosity. In testimony to the effectiveness of his work and generosity of his spirit, Helen Keller would dedicate her autobiography to Alexander Graham Bell.
Success is promotion. Alexander Graham Bell introduced the telephone to the world at the Centennial Exhibition in Philadelphia in 1876.
Success is continuing to do what you are passionate about. After Bell had become rich and famous for his invention of the telephone, he continued to make contributions to the world of science and technology through his inventions.
Success is sharing. Eager to infuse a love of science and the natural world in others, Bell lent considerable financial and editorial support to both Science Magazine and National Geographic.
[Sources: http://www.fitzgeraldstudio.com, http://www.pbs.org]
Ask any poker player and they will tell you the importance of reading people. People do not always say what they mean nor do they mean what they say. People’s actions and behaviors do not always reflect their true intentions. Your ability to read people will not only help you to be a better poker player, but it will help you in business and in virtually all aspects of your life.
The ability to read people is both a science and an art. First there is understanding how the human body responds to stimuli. For example, you are meeting with a client in your office, and the client’s stomach is making more noise than the construction workers with the jackhammers outside your window. This may be a good time to offer your client a snack, or perhaps lunch. Then there is interpreting their words and actions to best understand their true intentions. This is the artistic part.
Although being able to read people can be very beneficial in just about all areas of life, I believe it to be most useful in business, or in a professional situation. Here are what I consider to be the top three major benefits:
Learning to read a person is all about being observant. In general, the more you observe people, the better at reading people you will become. However, each has his or her own unique characteristics and responses. The more you know a person, the better you will become at reading that person.
Here are some suggestions on how you can enhance your “people-reading” skills.
We can all read others to a certain degree. Generally, we can read those we know better than those we don’t know, and some people are more difficult to read than others. Pay attention to people—how they move, what they say, how they sound, and how they respond. By being a keen observer of people, you will enhance your people-reading abilities as well as your chances of success.
If finding good people were as easy as choosing ones with the best resume, human resource managers would have the easiest job in the company. What is a resume? Basically, it is a written exaggeration of only the good things a person has done in the past, as well as a wish list of the qualities a person would like to have. There are those with very impressive resumes who may be “burned out” and just looking for an organization to take them. Then there are those with less-than-impressive resumes who have not yet had the opportunity to achieve what they are capable of achieving. To find good people you need to value people for what they can do, not for what they have done.
Since 1994, I have run some very successful companies. When it comes to the success of an organization, I believe that a key element is the organization’s people. With the right people in place, an organization can achieve great success. Since 1994, I have never once asked for a resume. I personally don’t put much emphasis on what someone has done or not done in the past; I want to know what they can do for me now and in the future. Since I cannot see the future, I must rely on my ability to value a person professionally based on five key factors (remember ABCDE).
Together, all of these factors help me to determine the applicant’s overall potential to do the job.
I understand that this hiring method will not work in all situations. I certainly would not want my local hospital to hire doctors without detailed background checks and assurance of their skills. But even in situations such as this, more weight can certainly be given to the above criteria, rather than the content of the resume and the applicant’s history itself.
Realize that you pay for a person’s history. A Harvard graduate will cost more than a community college graduate. Make sure that you are paying the higher price because of what the person can do for you, not what they have done for themselves. You might be able to minimize your risk by taking the person on as a contractor, rather than an employee. Or perhaps agreeing to hire the person on a trial basis.
Seeking good people with potential may be a better strategy than seeking people with good resumes; it certainly has worked for me and my businesses. This is because my businesses also have leaders who know how to help others reach their potential. Value people on a professional level based on their potential, not on their history and build an organization of achievers rather than a team of “has beens.”
One of the common characteristics shared by just about every great leader in history is the mastery of the art of diplomacy, or using tact and sensitivity in dealing with others. Diplomacy is more than saying or doing the right things at the right time; it is avoiding saying or doing the wrong things at any time. Although there are times when we want to tell others exactly how we feel, there are ways to communicate our message more effectively while strengthening relationships and being sensitive to the feelings and emotions of others. This is the art of diplomacy.
A few harsh words can destroy a relationship. Those who lack diplomacy find themselves in more negative relationships than those who are diplomatic. Those who lack diplomacy tend to burn more bridges (end relationships poorly) than those who are diplomatic. But diplomacy is more than just about preserving relationships; it can help you to make better decisions, and it can prove to be an invaluable asset in negotiating win-win solutions.
Although politicians have to be masters of diplomacy since their careers can easily be ruined by a few wrong words, everyone should strive to be diplomatic. Business people who say the wrong thing, at the wrong time, to the wrong people, not only put their own careers at risk, but put the success of their company, and all those who work for it, at risk as well. In our personal lives, the cause of many problems can be traced back to the lack of diplomacy. Fortunately, being diplomatic in your personal and professional lives can be as easy as asking yourself three simple questions.
Great leaders are diplomatic. They understand the importance of dealing with people and preserving relationships. Good people are diplomatic because they understand the importance of being sensitive to the feelings of others, no matter who the “others” may be. Practice diplomacy in your personal and professional lives and you will enhance your reputation and relationships.
Imagine yourself exactly where you are today ten years from now. You are in the same job or business and making the same pay. You know no more than you did ten years ago since your experience has been limited to the same year of experience repeated ten times. The only things you have to show for the last ten years are perhaps a few extra pounds around the midsection and some more gray hair. Although some people may see this as great job security, those who are focused on success and personal growth see this as ten years of wasted time. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to ensure, on a regular basis, that you are making progress in your life by recognizing the “dead end.”
Before we can do something about a dead end, we must learn to recognize one. Whether you are a business owner, employee, independent contractor, or unemployed (either voluntarily or involuntarily), you run the risk of being stuck at a dead end. Although every business and job has a future, it may not be the future you had in mind for yourself. A dead end is not characterized by income potential alone; it is also about personal growth (learning, experience, etc.), happiness, and contributions to society. For example, teaching in an elementary school, although income potential is certainly limited, can bring one tremendous wealth in the form of personal fulfillment and would not be considered a dead end. Conversely, working at a job you despise, with little chance of promotion and no personal satisfaction would be seen as a dead end.
Those who fail to recognize a dead end can spend years “stuck” at the dead end, only to one day look back and ask, “What happened?” One of the worst forms of regret is a wasted life.
It is equally important not to erroneously label your current situation as a dead end, as it is to recognize a dead end. Those who change vocations or directions in life solely for the pursuit of money, end up worsening their situation more times than not. Likewise, those who are impatient and determine a dead end by a “slow month” or a denial of a raise, end up making poor decisions based on their temporary situation.
So the question is, how does one recognize a dead end? Here are some suggestions.
You can't really recognize a dead end unless you make a conscious effort. While there are millions of people who claim to be in “dead end jobs,” the majority of them do nothing about their situation except complain. If you are one of these people, ask yourself, “Is this really a dead end?” and consider the non-monetary benefits. If you do find yourself at a dead end, then take a leap of faith and do something about it. Remember that dreamers only dream, and successful people take action.
Christopher Reeve (1952–2004) was an actor (Superman), director, writer, and role model for countless people around the world.
Success is being a kid at heart. Reeve credits his acting success to his ability to remain youthful in his thinking. “The ability to retain at least some of this childhood innocence is essential to fine acting.”
Success is multi-tasking. After graduating high school, Reeve toured the country as Celeste Holm’s leading man in The Irregular Verb to Love, then went on to pursue a college education while working simultaneously as a professional actor.
Success is taking action. Acting jobs did not come to Reeve; he had to find them. This meant frequent auditions. Reeve eventually auditioned and successfully screen tested for the 1978 movie Superman, which launched him to “super” stardom.
Success is challenging yourself. Rather than limit himself to the heroic roles for which he seemed so well suited, Reeve frequently sought after the challenging parts that cast him against his type—playing characters that were gay, sociopathic, or villainous.
Success is progress. Reeve believed that progress in one’s life comes from setting one’s own challenges and then doing the best one possibly can to succeed.
Success is overcoming adversity. In 1995, in a tragic horse-riding accident, Reeve was thrown from his horse and instantly paralyzed from the neck down and unable to breathe. Reeve had spent six long months in painful rehabilitation before he was able to return to his home. Since that tragic day, and until the time of his death, Reeve had been living his life unable to move from the shoulders down and unable to breathe on his own.
Success is not quitting. Less than a year after his injury, Reeve began to accept invitations for speaking engagements, despite his extreme difficulty with traveling. Reeve became a best-selling author. Reeve also continued acting by narrating, hosting and even accepting major roles in films. Reeve made his directorial debut with the critically acclaimed HBO film In the Gloaming.
Success is doing your part to make the world a better place. Reeve was a supporter of The Foundation for a Better Life, which creates public service campaigns to communicate the values that make a difference in our market segments—values such as honesty, caring, optimism, hard work, and helping others.
[Sources: http://www.christopherreeve.org, http://www.chrisreevehomepage.com]
Perhaps one of the largest and most well-known mistakes of all time was made by the Ford Motor Company back in the 70s. A poorly designed automobile named the “Pinto” had a severe weakness in the fuel tank, which greatly increased the chances of an explosion on impact. Although the design itself could be seen as a significant mistake, an even bigger mistake was the company’s decision to move forward with the production and sales of the Pinto regardless of the obvious danger to human lives. Why? A cost/benefit study was done which suggested that it would be “cheaper” for Ford to pay liability for burn deaths and injuries rather than modify the fuel tank to prevent the fires in the first place. This mistake not only cost hundreds of millions of dollars, but led to over 500 serious burn injuries and deaths as well [Source: motherjones.com]. Needless to say, this mistake was not handled in the best way, and the legal, ethical, and financial repercussions continue even today.
Hopefully, my sharing this horrible mistake in history at least helped you put your mistakes in perspective. We all make mistakes; some more serious than others. A balance must exist between trying to avoid mistakes and giving it your all. It should go without saying that mistakes that can result in death or injury to others should be avoided at all costs, but other mistakes that are less serious should be seen as setbacks and learning experiences. We all make mistakes, but it is how we recover from those mistakes that separate the winners from the losers.
When you make a mistake, your goal should be to better your situation. Very often, if handled correctly, a graceful recovery from a mistake can put you in a better situation than before the mistake was made. As usual, look for the positives in the situation and use your persuasive speaking skills to convince others of those benefits if necessary.
Here are some suggestions on how to best handle mistakes you make, or mistakes made by those for whom you are responsible.
It takes a person of character to deal with their own mistakes gracefully and effectively. This process is another one to which many people attribute their success. We all make mistakes, and we can all recover from our mistakes with a little effort, character, and positive mental attitude.
A brief refresher in Economics 101: most of us were introduced to the law of supply and demand in grade school, but most people fail to make the connection between this principle and success. The law of supply and demand is one of the most basic economic concepts, as well as the foundation of all financial success.* In terms of success, the law states that wherever there is demand there is an opportunity for supply. This opportunity exists until supply exceeds demand. In short, the law of supply and demand, as well as financial success, is all about fulfilling needs.
The world is not, nor ever will be, a place where everyone is completely content—there will always be needs, wants, and desires (or simply “needs”). These needs create an opportunity for a product or service. Generally speaking, the greater the need, the greater the opportunity.
To be successful in business, you must fulfill a need. Those who start businesses in a market where there is little or no demand for their product or service, or already too much supply, ultimately meet with failure. Existing businesses that launch new products or services into a market where no need exists ultimately end up discontinuing the product or service and suffer a financial loss. Employees whose position no longer fulfills a need eventually find themselves without a job.
Recognizing needs is a talent and, like most talents, can be improved with practice. You can practice by
In addition to having the talent for recognizing needs, there are more methodical, but costly ways, specifically any of the many forms of market research, which can include surveys, focus groups, polls, and more.
Once you recognize a need, determine the marketability of fulfilling the need. You can do this by asking yourself one question: is the anticipated investment required, both monetary and non-monetary, to fulfill this need worth the anticipated reward? If you feel that the investment is worth the reward, then go for it.
Fulfilling needs of others is a major part of all success in life. In the business world, where financial success is viewed by most as the top priority, fulfilling needs is a must. You must not only be able to recognize needs and see opportunity, but you must also be able to determine if fulfilling the needs are worth the rewards. Get in the habit of thinking of the needs of others and you will certainly help yourself in the process.
* The law of supply and demand is the foundation for financial success, but not necessarily wealth. Lottery winners, heirs to fortunes, and bank robbers may have an abundance of money that has nothing to do with supply and demand or true success.
Throughout life, the average person meets thousands of people and is exposed to even more ideas, concepts, and beliefs. The content of conversation, or the words used to convey a message, quickly fade, but the impression remains.
An impression is an effect, feeling, or image retained as a consequence of experience. However, like a footprint in the sand at a beach, impressions eventually fade away; a lasting impression is one that does not. When we refer to making a lasting impression in terms of success, we are referring to a positive impression.
Those who know how to, and are capable of making lasting impressions on others, have a level of influence over others that is most useful in the pursuit of success. Consider the following situations:
How can you make a lasting impression? Think back to your own experiences in life and think of the impressions that were made on you. What were the circumstances? If you carefully think about this, you will discover three key circumstances:
The impression is what is left over when the words and details have faded. Practice leaving people with positive lasting impressions and when the time comes, they will remember you, your advice, and/or your product.
Imagine a huge retail store where instead of products on the shelves, there were people. This is a store where hiring managers go to “buy” employees for their business or organization. The shoppers think like all shoppers do when buying products. They may ask questions such as, “Do I need this product? How will I benefit from using this product? Is this product outdated or replaced by a better product? Is it reliable? Is it priced right? Do I have a choice of many similar products or is this one unique? Now think of yourself as a product on a shelf in this store. Are you a hot item that is consistently out of stock? Or are you one of those items that sit on the table in the front of the store marked “damaged goods - price reduced”?
When it comes to selling our labor in the form of employment, sometimes it helps to think of ourselves as products. This helps us to understand the needs of employers better. A product that is considered “marketable” is one that can be exchanged relatively easily for something else of value. When people are considered marketable, they can exchange their labor for something else of value, such as a satisfying career.
So the question is, how marketable are you? More important, what can you do to become more marketable? Here are some suggestions.
Now, what if you define the skill sets needed for your industry and realize that you have no desire to acquire the skills needed to be seen as marketable? Consider changing vocations. What are your skills? What skills would you enjoy learning? In which industry would you enjoy being? Ski equipment might not sell very well on Miami Beach, but it will sell in Vermont. If you are unwilling to change your product, then change where you are selling it.
Don’t be the product that ends up in the “price reduced” bin. Know what it takes to be marketable in your chosen profession and make the effort to not only stay ahead of the curve, but make an effort to lead the pack. Educate, promote, and lead and you will be the hot item that never sits on the shelf for very long.
If you have not figured it out by now, Bo Bennett (1972–) is the author of this book you have been reading for the past year. His full bio is available at http://www.BoBennett.com.
Success begins with the desire for success. My fascination/obsession with success began at age 10 while listening to success author Denis Waitley’s “Seeds of Greatness” audio program. From that day on, I would read and listen to any book or program I could get my hands on related to personal or business success.
Success is learning from others. Growing up, I learned so much from my family. From my mother, I learned sales and how to conquer fear. From my father, I learned creative thinking and independence. From my sister, I learned about the entrepreneurial spirit. And from my brother, I learned about the power of the human spirit and the incredible positive changes of which people are capable.
Success is taking your own path. From my performances of the “Mr. Bill Show” with clay figures for my second grade classmates, to my high school and college days where I chose to abstain completely from drugs and alcohol, I have been seen by my peers as “different”; but being different is something that has never bothered me.
Success is acting on opportunity. I glimpsed the future when I was first introduced to the Internet. My wife, Kim, and I sold our graphic design business, and the secure income that went with it, to pursue web hosting. Starting with a single customer and revenue of $10 per month, I ended up selling my first web hosting business seven years later for 20 million dollars.
Success is being passionate about life. I love life. Most days I wake up at 4:00 am with a fire in my belly and ideas in my head. I love my work as well as my time away from work. I love my wife Kim, my daughter Annabelle, my son Trebor, and my dog. I just love life.
Success is living a healthy lifestyle. I am a big advocate of health and fitness. Since age 14, I have been exercising on a regular basis while continually improving my diet. Our bodies are the vessels that carry our minds through life. When we fail to take care of our bodies, our minds suffer as well. The mind can only focus on one thing at any given time. When the mind is focusing on illness or poor health, it is impossible to focus on success and achievement. Take care of yourself, so you can take care of those whom you love, and focus on making a difference in the world.
Success is having good relationships with others. For me, a significant portion of my success can be attributed to my relationships: my relationships with my family, friends, business associates, customers, and acquaintances. I hold no grudges, hate no one, and have learned to focus on the good in others rather than their faults.
Success is happiness. While I cannot say I consider myself one of the most successful people alive today, I do consider myself one of the happiest people alive today. To me, happiness is skiing with my daughter. It is watching movies with my son. It is spending quality time with my wife. It is eating, writing, programming, designing, creating, reading, learning, and helping others. For me, happiness is found in the little things that I do every day.
Success is being grateful for what you have, and not resentful for what you don’t have. I live a wonderful life, and I am grateful for all that I have and all with which I was born. I am grateful for the fortunate events that led me to where I am today. I am grateful to live in a country, during a time, of such tremendous opportunity. I am grateful for my ability to not let adversity affect my happiness. Most of all, I am grateful for having the clarity to see life for what it really is—an amazing opportunity.
Success is sharing. Writing Year To Success has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. The idea of sharing my success philosophy with people all around the globe and helping others to discover their own gifts, is greater than any financial compensation. It is a dream come true for me.
[Source: me]
Today, the traditional idea of “job security” is virtually non-existent. No longer does getting hired mean getting hired for life. Mergers, layoffs, downsizing, corporate restructuring, focus shifting, bankruptcy—the list of terms that are synonymous with “you’re fired” goes on. It seems as if your job security is completely out of your control... or is it?
Security is number two in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, second only to our physiological needs. It is no wonder that job security is such a pressing and controversial issue today. People traditionally think of job security as the choice of keeping the same job for as long as desired. This is done in the form of tenure or other long-term contract. Finding this kind of job security is extremely rare. However, if job security is viewed as the ability to keep a desired job, not necessarily the same job, and certainly not necessarily for the same organization, then job security is both readily available and within your control.
While you cannot completely prevent being “let go” by an organization, you can reduce your chances. Here are a few ways.
No job security? Don’t get mad, get smart. Who or what is to blame for the lack of job security? Do we blame automation? Management? Owners and stockholders? Do we blame the younger people with fewer financial responsibilities who are willing to work for less, or foreigners in other countries who can work for much less? Or perhaps we don’t blame anyone or anything; we accept these as standard business practices in a modern economy and focus on creating our own job security by becoming less dependent on the organization for which we work and more dependent on our own resources. Here are a few ways.
While traditional job security, or guaranteed employment with a single organization, is virtually non-existent these days, you can increase the chances of your job being more secure. From a non-traditional point of view, one can have the ultimate job security by not focusing on a particular job with a particular organization, but rather by focusing on a reliable income. Job security is within our reach; we just need to be sure we are reaching for the right kind of job security.
Early in my web hosting career, I was interviewed by a journalist for a local paper for my first web hosting business. It turned out to be a great article promoting my business locally while making me look very good. The truth is, during the interview I was a bumbling idiot, not yet skilled in the art of effective communication. The journalist knew this and used a great communication technique to create a win-win situation by making me look good and by creating a great article for her paper. The journalist knew what I wanted to say as well as the kind of information that would make a great article. She would ask the right questions then rephrase my answers while shaking her head up and down looking for a positive response from me, which she did get. The result: an article full of eloquent quotes that I believed came from me. The fact was, the journalist, through her excellent communication skills, was able to get me to say what she wanted me to say while making me think they were all my ideas.
Sounds a little manipulative, doesn’t it? Let’s remember the difference between manipulation and persuasion—intent. The journalist’s intent was not to discredit me nor make me look bad, but to make me look good. She helped me to say the things the readers wanted to read while leaving out the other facts that I liked to talk about, but which no one but me would be interested in. She created a win-win situation while not deviating from the truth and facts.
When people believe the thought or idea is theirs, they are much more likely to accept the thought or idea. By crediting the other person with a thought or idea, you are greatly increasing the chances that they will accept it. This can be an extremely effective technique to use in many different situations. For example, trying to get your boss to accept an idea, making a proposal to a committee, or helping a teenage child to take the right path.
To understand why this technique works so well, we must make some general assumptions about people as a group: they are normally defensive, they like to feel important, and they like to show leadership, superiority, and power when possible. For any one of these reasons, people accept their own ideas over equally as good or better ideas of another person. Once we understand this, we just need to practice techniques that allow us to credit the other person for ideas.
Here are three techniques you can use to give the other person credit for an idea or thought. Use them individually or in conjunction with each other.
When it is more important that an idea be accepted than who gets credit for it, give the person or persons who need to accept the idea credit for the idea. This is a great persuasion technique as well as a great way to create a win-win situation.
I will admit, I am one of the fortunate people who was in a good position for success. The year was 1994, and I had recently graduated from college. With access to many credit cards and a few bucks from odd jobs here and there, I had enough money to meet the few financial obligations I did have. I was single and technically unemployed. In a nutshell, I had plenty of time, some money, little responsibility, and absolutely no fear of risk. Without knowing it, I managed to position myself for success.
The first element is time. Without committing the proper time to any endeavor, there is little chance that it will succeed. This does not mean that you need a lot of time on your hands; you just need enough time. Before I started my first web hosting company, I knew that I needed to know more than I currently did about the Internet. I devoted just a few hours a day to programming, Internet marketing, and web design. That time was all I needed to get me started. Had I committed only 15 minutes a day for those first couple of months, I would have been many months behind, and may have missed the Internet “wave.”
The second element is money. I am not a believer in the saying “it takes money to make money.” I firmly believe that it takes ideas, persistence, and patience, among other things, to make money. However, if you do not have enough money to keep your endeavor growing, the chances for success decrease. Whatever your endeavor may be, make sure that the money you can commit to it is enough to at least keep it going. Do not open a pet store if you don’t have enough money to feed the animals.
The third element is responsibility. As we approach middle age, we tend to take on more responsibilities. These responsibilities often take up both our time and money, as well as occupy our minds with “more important” things. Responsibility is the feeling of being responsible for something or someone. Spending time and money on an endeavor that may or may not pay off seems “irresponsible” to most people. If it is not possible to delegate some of your responsibilities, then at least trust in your own ability to do more than you are currently doing. The human spirit is an amazing thing when pushed past the comfort zone.
Finally, we have the element of risk. Generally speaking, one’s tolerance for risk is based on the first three elements of time, money, and responsibility. Someone with plenty of time is more likely to risk investing their time. Someone with plenty of money is more likely to risk investing their money. And someone with little responsibility is more likely to takes risks than someone with more responsibilities. It is important to remember that risk can be controlled; a sound idea, backed by a solid business plan, with ample financing, and a leader with enough perseverance and passion to see the plan through, is a formula for success.
Although it is not possible for all of us to go back to when we just finished school, or to another time when we were better positioned for success, we can alter our current position and attitude. There is always something that you can do today, right now, that will put you in a better position for success. Figure out what that something is, and do it.
Over the past year, you have been introduced to hundreds of success principles. My success philosophy detailed in Year To Success is based on personal experiences, observations, and proven principles—some of which seem as old as time itself. Rather than trying to sum up every principle contained within this course, I will conclude with some new advice.
Maintain your success. Success is not something to achieve and then forget about. Once you achieve success, it is your responsibility to maintain success. People who have small successes in life often get blinded by temporary success and end up only worsening their situation. Great success in life is usually a result of many successes. Forge ahead. Remember that success is a way of life.
Become a farmer of success. Plant the “seeds of success” in your everyday life and you will reap the benefits. When you put these principles into practice, you serve as a role model and inspiration to others. Everyone deserves to be successful, so share these principles with others.
Use your success wisely. With success comes power and with power comes responsibility. There have been some people throughout history who were very successful at doing some terrible things. Your ethics, morals, and values determine your ultimate success in life. Don’t sacrifice them in your pursuit of success.
The success formula used in Year To Success is education + inspiration + action = success. Year To Success has provided you with the education, as well as the inspiration, but when it comes to taking action, it is up to you. Trust in your ability to succeed at anything you do, and you will be better equipped to succeed at anything you do. Believe in yourself and start living the life you desire!
Bo Bennett, PhD. Robert "Bo" Bennett started "Adgrafix", a graphic design firm, right after graduating Bryant University in 1994, with a bachelor's degree in marketing. In 1995, he sold the graphic design business but kept the name "Adgrafix" that he used for his new web hosting company. As a self-taught programmer, Bo created one of the first (perhaps the first) web-based affiliate systems and web-based web hosting interfaces. He built Adgrafix to a 5 million dollar a year business, then sold it to Allegiance Telecom in 2001.
A day after he sold Adgrafix, Bo started Archieboy Holdings, LLC as a holding company for many different web properties, some of which have become their own entities, and sold to new owners, and others which he is still running today. One of the past sales include Boston Datacenters -- the distressed datacenter in Charlestown, MA purchased by Bo from former HarvardNet founder. He took the company from losing tens of thousands of dollars per month to profitability in less than a year. In two years time, he sold the property to Hosted Solutions. Today, the property is owned by Windstream and it remains one of the premier datacenters in New England.
Bo is currently the founder and CEO of eBookIt.com, a company that formats and distributes eBooks, print on demand, and digital audio books, as well as president of Archieboy Holdings.
By age 10, Robert "Bo" Bennett started listening to and reading personal development tapes and books. Over the years he has developed a science-based approach to success that differs quite a bit from the over-hyped success guru's approaches commonly seen today. Before beginning his lifelong quest to shape the lives of others, he had to prove to himself that his theories, beliefs and convictions worked.
At age 10, Bo started in business by creating and selling wooden key racks in his father's workshop. Since then, he has started several companies and sold them anywhere from to $20,000,000.00.
After selling his first company of significant value, Bo began writing Year To Success, the most comprehensive book ever written on success, based on his experiences, thoughts, and timeless success principles. Year to Success is a book Arnold Schwarzenegger calls, “an impressive collection of advice and inspiration.”
